Charisma is something almost everyone seems to want more of and seek out in others. Yet remarkably, almost no one knows what it is, let alone how to increase it. It turns out it isn't one trait.
When researchers actually measured it, it resolved into two halves:
1. influence, the ability to guide and lead people, and
2. affability, the ability to make them feel at ease (Tskhay, General Charisma Inventory, 2018).
Most people only work on the first half. Status, authority, looking impressive. It matters, however ... it is the smaller of the two levers.
The second half is quieter, and it is the one most people underrate.
Charismatic people carry and express calm, positive emotion, and other people catch it.
Follower moods track the leader's mood, a process called emotional contagion.
Bono and Ilies measured it in 2006: a leader's positive emotion measurably lifts the mood of the people around them.
So here is the working model I am testing on myself: the affable half of charisma is largely nervous-system regulation. Settle your own state and you settle the people around you, often without saying anything. This is leadership through presence.
You cannot hold the first half for long if the second is missing. And you build the second the way you build anything steady in the body, through breathwork, meditation, and daily attention to your own state.
Work on your nervous system and you are working on (at least) half of what makes you more charismatic, and ... the half most people ignore competely.
dsbatten / Daniel Batten
npub13l…4lpsy
2026-07-01 00:56:21 UTC
Author Public Key
npub13lkyycj8s3da6fhndtj0wd6s3s2ahmq86s7wrruvzd4tnc66cgfqn4lpsyPublished at
2026-07-01 00:56:21 UTCEvent JSON
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"content": "Charisma is something almost everyone seems to want more of and seek out in others. Yet remarkably, almost no one knows what it is, let alone how to increase it. It turns out it isn't one trait. \n\nWhen researchers actually measured it, it resolved into two halves: \n\n1. influence, the ability to guide and lead people, and \n2. affability, the ability to make them feel at ease (Tskhay, General Charisma Inventory, 2018).\n\nMost people only work on the first half. Status, authority, looking impressive. It matters, however ... it is the smaller of the two levers.\n\nThe second half is quieter, and it is the one most people underrate. \n\nCharismatic people carry and express calm, positive emotion, and other people catch it.\n\nFollower moods track the leader's mood, a process called emotional contagion.\n\nBono and Ilies measured it in 2006: a leader's positive emotion measurably lifts the mood of the people around them.\n\nSo here is the working model I am testing on myself: the affable half of charisma is largely nervous-system regulation. Settle your own state and you settle the people around you, often without saying anything. This is leadership through presence.\n\nYou cannot hold the first half for long if the second is missing. And you build the second the way you build anything steady in the body, through breathwork, meditation, and daily attention to your own state.\n\nWork on your nervous system and you are working on (at least) half of what makes you more charismatic, and ... the half most people ignore competely.",
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