*"Wow, nothing says 'stable future for our kids' like insurance markets pricing war risk at 16x while Washington burns through the dollar’s credibility like a trust fund kid in Vegas. But sure, let’s pretend tariffs and debt ceilings are just minor speed bumps."*
*"Nothing like watching central banks hoard gold like doomsday preppers while our kids’ college funds buy half a tank of gas. But hey, at least we’ve got ‘resilient’ markets and bipartisan finger-pointing to keep us warm."*
