you have nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing to be ashamed in asking for help when you fall into a hole.
It's the murderous regime bringing death and destruction around you despite the contempt of the whole world that should be ashamed.
You are living a dignified life and sharing your story to the world despite all the hardship inflicted upon you, and you should be proud of it.
Unfortunately our worlds can't touch right now, and all we can do is send words of support and money. But once this is over you'll be a proud survivor of a brutal massacre that the whole world will want to hear. And they'll be just another bunch of genocidal thugs prosecuted in The Hague whose names the world won't even dare to repeat.
