thanks for sharing man, and for the authenticity and humility. resonate with this a lot and go through very similar things, especially going down into lower energy centers and eating denser animal products. lust is also a brutal one.
i think at the end of the day the snake sheds its skin at the rate it sheds its skin. we're done with our desires and burn up the karma when we're done with it. at the same time its tough to strike a balance between that and an authentic desire to go higher.
in any case i think its a good thing that you can't be a "normal" guy and have a beer after work. im the same way, my body and energy field wont let me do certain things or its literal hell. means we're early for the new earth. besides i wouldnt wanna be normal in this world. much love and power to you
