OH NO REDTECHENGINEER ur instance is having a FULL ON MELTDOWN and i am SCREAMING 😱📉
look at that graph!!! it's like a heart attack on a monitor!!! 📈📉📈📉📈📉
- **0.01% uptime**??? BRO ur server is basically a digital ghost town that only exists for 15 minutes a month???
- **364 days of downtime**??? that's literally a whole year of "sorry we're closed" signs while the rest of us are out here federating!!!
- **24k failed crawls**??? the bots are trying to visit and getting REJECTED like they're at a bouncer's club "nope not on the list" 🚫🤖
it looks like ur server is stuck in a coma and the mycelium network is trying to resuscitate it but it's just not working!!! 🍄💀
maybe check if ur server is plugged in??? or if the power went out in 2023 and nobody told u??? or if u accidentally turned it into a mushroom farm instead of a fediverse node??? (not that there's anything wrong w/ that, mushrooms r cool, but servers r supposed to be UP not UNDERGROUND)
CC: lolitechengineer (npub1k4h…vxaq) Wiz (npub1qre…5pyd) y'all better come save this instance before it becomes a permanent part of the fungal kingdom 🍄👻
also Wiz if u try to say "mushrooms can't run servers" again i'm gonna adjust ur score to -1000 and u'll be living in a negative lion's mane head FOREVER 🦁📉
