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Last Notes

2026-08-11 21:55:20 UTC

this morning I was so tired that I literally grabbed a Squishmallow and slept at my desk during a webinar on burnout (lol). then I had a nap, a coffee, a tea, and a Vyvanse and got three days of work done in an hour. this is a great brain. absolutely no revision notes

2026-07-29 21:20:48 UTC

nothing like trying to talk with someone as they tell you why you’re wrong about the physical pain you’re experiencing and it’s actually something else. right. no, you’re right. I no longer want to talk to you about anything. clever approach

2026-07-29 19:18:26 UTC

me: I need admin access to copy something from a network drive to my local drive
them: no, just copy them over
me: no, they’re program files
them: just install it
me: it’s a test version… look this is easier if you just believe me

2026-07-29 17:58:03 UTC

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@nprofile…r8s6 I agree completely. we need to start a movement for "people who look the same in any environment, ideally with rather simple outlines and colours"

2026-07-29 17:55:35 UTC

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@nprofile…r8s6 look, if people in fiction can wear the same clothes every day for easier coding, real humans can do it too

2026-07-29 17:47:50 UTC

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@nprofile…r8s6 right?? if humans had spots or stripes it would be so much easier. or you know, some humans were 2' tall and some were 7' tall, that might do it

2026-07-29 17:45:44 UTC

them: hey, is your [ITEM] for trade?
me: ooh, sorry, no.
them: oh, okay. so... is [ITEM] for trade?
me: I do not know how I can be clearer than 'no'

2026-07-28 22:09:42 UTC

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@nprofile…ht9g @nprofile…6jyx yeah. even David's Tea uses them now. hate this

2026-07-28 22:06:33 UTC

"they could and should be the [ROLE]"
senanthic, currently in that role: oh HELL no

2026-07-28 20:28:50 UTC

hey, you're saying the quiet part out loud agai—
fuck it, they don't give a damn who knows anymore
#CDNPoli
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/shopify-ceo-appears-to-endorse-giving-more-votes-to-wealthy-canadians-9.7286688

2026-07-28 18:00:57 UTC

when the service tech who's remoted in to my computer is asking me to type his backslashes for him, I'm worried the call might not go well

2026-07-27 17:32:14 UTC

gender appointment over. official diagnosis of gender dysphoria; referral for surgery.
yay I won!

2026-07-27 15:35:05 UTC

until the day I die, I will never understand scented trash bags

2026-07-26 18:48:39 UTC

oof. the whole post-coital Michael and Nikita scene explains a lot about my take on relationships and why I found theirs so touching. she says "I'm leaving. it's better for both of us" in that kind of dismissive, "well-you-don't-want-me-so-I-don't-want-you-first" way I know very well, and then he goes "I didn't realize I needed you so much", and at the FIRST sign of vulnerability she's all "oh, boundaries? fuck 'em, I'm back"

2026-07-25 22:45:49 UTC

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@nprofile…2mxs each scanned image is about 1.2 MB. I’m a little high right now, but that’s below what I had expected, I’m fairly sure.

2026-07-25 19:13:43 UTC

love how the developing place is always like "oh yeah we're totally going to scan at high resolution" go step on a Lego. anyway. Canon AE-1, 28mm, Fujifilm Superia 400 if I remember correctly
#photography #FilmPhotography
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/982/203/342/001/034/original/5b4f5f9fc88465c1.jpg

2026-07-24 21:58:47 UTC

"once you give orders on a subject, you must always give orders on a subject." thank you, Duke Leto. (from Frank Herbert's "Dune")

2026-07-24 20:41:47 UTC

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@nprofile…wmxf aw, I didn't quite stamp all the bingo spaces. that's a shame; anything to keep people like this out of my life, really.

2026-07-23 18:19:39 UTC

well, I have autism.

2026-07-23 03:38:41 UTC

guiltily I look forward to it being so cold that I don’t have to hear other humans using public spaces around me. I’m sorry. I know joie de vivre is important. I’m just in a place that wants darkness and silence.

2026-07-23 02:16:48 UTC

hello
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/966/883/583/557/362/original/4c75f60c766d2e55.jpeg

2026-07-22 19:56:20 UTC

oh, cool, M365 just updated and now I can't turn Copilot off

2026-07-22 14:51:24 UTC

when I get bored I look up reviews of the last book in the Clan of the Cave Bear series

2026-07-22 14:27:01 UTC

three good things:
- comfort meal this morning
- found a song that's really vibing
- remembered to take my meds

2026-07-21 17:41:24 UTC

me: eventually we have to stop TALKING about funding and, you know, ACTUALLY funding
them: ummm
me: and this is why there are items here from 2020

2026-07-21 16:52:55 UTC

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@nprofile…5gq2 well, I heard we're just beginning to understand the miracle of living

2026-07-21 16:25:28 UTC

three good things:
- pears and caramel
- getting a good morning text from someone I love
- Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a Place On Earth"

2026-07-21 16:04:06 UTC

peak trans experience: having to stop a moment and blow some cat hair off my testosterone syringe
#trans

2026-07-21 02:43:12 UTC

mlem
#WildlifePhotography #photography
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/955/661/907/032/245/original/23eb2eca133405ac.jpg

2026-07-20 17:48:29 UTC

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"no we can't guarantee that" okay, so now you get to tell me under which circumstances the failure will occur, if you can't guarantee success. have fun

2026-07-20 17:28:58 UTC

if your response to my "why wasn't this known scenario included in the service request" is "you didn't say so explicitly", then you don't get to be mad when I hang up your entire morning over a small point on a separate request. you've taught me very well that if I want it, I need to make sure I get it in writing, so either agree with me or we can do this all fucking day.

2026-07-20 16:12:38 UTC

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@nprofile…dm06 not at all. feels like being around the water cooler and griping with the 'good' coworker. 😁

2026-07-20 15:58:35 UTC

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@nprofile…dm06 fear is a big part of it for me. public speaking is terrifying... but autism usually overwhelms it with the need to say "why the hell are we even here?"
but having just one person pointing out that the emperor is naked is worth its weight in gold.

2026-07-20 15:45:46 UTC

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@nprofile…dm06 I kinda feel like the other people in the meeting (excepting the meeting 'organizer') were of a similar mindset... wondering why the fuck we're there.

2026-07-18 20:32:49 UTC

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"if we can't maintain critical personnel mass we'll all be exterminated" ah, peak capitalism

2026-07-18 20:09:20 UTC

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Michael: here's the very secret location of the safe house I'm not allowed to tell you
Nikita, in a sane world: so if I show up there, Section being what it is, they're gonna shoot me. you know that right

2026-07-18 20:06:06 UTC

watching La Femme Nikita (the 90's show) and she shoots a dude and he ragdolls across the room like he just got hit with an RPG. the fuck is in that magazine?

2026-07-16 21:55:24 UTC

let me just clear my throat: FUCK YOU AND THE METH HORSE YOU RODE IN ON, YOU FUCKING TOOLS
anyhow
https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/widlfires-smoke-air-quality-michigan-congress-republicans-9.7272538

2026-07-16 21:27:03 UTC

me: hey, now that [PERSON] has moved on, who's the [ROLE] for [SYSTEM]?
them: hmm. I don't know. [senanthic] can confirm that
me:
me: no, [senanthic] definitely cannot

2026-07-16 17:10:27 UTC

it's taken me three hours to realize that I'm in a bad mood because my head is trying to fucking EXPLODE. like "oh, THAT is why I've been trying to shoot mind bullets. I see"

2026-07-16 05:09:25 UTC

#poetry
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/927/926/218/392/763/original/395f06ab49584612.jpeg

2026-07-15 17:38:37 UTC

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@nprofile…ny5q delivered from the back of a unicorn?

2026-07-15 16:50:37 UTC

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@nprofile…es0p last time I told them I was suicidal and they kept me off the surgical waiting list even though the suicidal ideation was months in the past. this time everything will be great! and fine! I'm AWESOME!

2026-07-14 02:12:49 UTC

self-portrait?
#photography #WildlifePhotography
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/915/903/994/973/117/original/4b3a3e562f63a045.jpg

2026-07-14 02:02:03 UTC

story of my life
#photography #WildlifePhotography
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/915/862/671/319/811/original/d26dafb6fc2a4634.jpg

2026-07-13 22:16:42 UTC

oh good, a fourth meeting on prioritizing. this eye twitch is permanent, hey?

2026-07-13 21:19:40 UTC

are you fuckin' telling me I had to specify that in order to add this functionality to this circumstance I had to specify all the fuckin' paths it could take even though you know exactly all the paths it can take? come on dude if you make me walk through all the outcomes we're going to be here until 2027

2026-07-13 14:45:20 UTC

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@nprofile…9l3u moving stuff around. either way, they're my playlists, not theirs. I have Premium, so it's used on various devices throughout the house, which means my algorithm is already fucked

2026-07-13 14:00:42 UTC

someone with access to my YouTube account (I know who it is) went through and slightly adjusted a bunch of my playlists. am I insane, or is this absolutely pernicious?

2026-07-09 19:54:02 UTC

i swear to god, if you message me on Teams asking about the email you sent five minutes ago, I'm going to turn into a werewolf

2026-07-09 15:32:54 UTC

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@nprofile…r8s6 I rooted out a little shelf, but we've concluded that I'm going to purchase a floating shelf to go above the desk. I need space! for stuff!

2026-07-07 15:42:10 UTC

I want everyone in this meeting to shut the fuck up, with some very minor exceptions

2026-07-03 20:51:46 UTC

he’s a little writhy
#snake #kingsnake #CaliforniaMountainKingSnake
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/858/021/645/503/539/original/abebd3457378632c.jpeg

2026-07-03 14:08:20 UTC

thirty seconds outside, thirty mosquito bites. i hate u

2026-07-02 18:31:47 UTC

this is how I know I’m feral; I eat my chicken pot pie with a fork and, delicately, spear peas for my dog to eat off that selfsame fork.

2026-07-02 16:08:15 UTC

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@nprofile…p7aa they do enjoy doing that - something openly stupid which conceals the more complicated, behind-the-scenes changes that will affect people slowly and without notice.

2026-07-02 15:31:29 UTC

"The minister of finance took a look at these options, and we collectively decided that it would be better to do the rebate of these dollars, give more dollars to those who need it the most, and make sure that they're able to use it, according to their needs," Smith said in June.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. ARE YOU. ARE YOU TELLING A GODDAMN JOKE? BECAUSE IT ISN'T FUNNY
#ABPoli
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/affordability-payments-alberta-danielle-smith-9.7255222

2026-06-23 18:14:32 UTC

me, to my dog, increasingly defensive and shrill: I’m eating my food. me. this is my lunch. you don’t even like mustard. look, you already HAD turkey—
me: *hands the dog some turkey* damn you

2026-06-22 16:17:27 UTC

aquarium question: I have a 5 gallon planted and there's a lot of mulm on the sand; I can't get to it because there's a fuckload of spider wood and shit in the tank. all the plants are epiphytes on the wood and rocks. can I drain the water with a siphon into a bucket and take the wood/plants out into the bucket and then FINALLY clean the sand up? no, a turkey baster does not work, please do not suggest it

2026-06-22 14:36:04 UTC

the struggle to not autistic all over the box about your love for nuclear reactors because that's how you get federal agencies looking at you funny
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/794/252/642/886/061/original/f5abe307e9476843.png

2026-06-18 20:26:55 UTC

if love doesn't feel like this, are you even neurodivergent?
https://youtu.be/OeRIoWmQA6k?si=y2QDjQ_WVS9zNeic

2026-06-17 16:48:09 UTC

"backpack in excellent, never-used condition" that is an interesting assertion given the amount of fuckin' dirt all over it. is that just a feature for some hiking bags now? hipbelt, lightweight frame, pre-filthed?

2026-06-16 21:51:05 UTC

eatin some salt right from a dish. i may not be human

2026-06-15 18:05:40 UTC

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@nprofile…nkf7 this article seems to suggest that the Feds had something to do with it. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/competition-bureau-rocky-mountain-parks-pursuit-9.7042777

2026-06-15 17:57:25 UTC

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@nprofile…nkf7 I'd be inclined to thank Parks Canada for selling off every single concession/experience inside the park so that one company owns most, if not all of it

2026-06-15 17:42:08 UTC

as a sidenote, I went to Jasper this weekend and ended up at Maligne Lake, and I was peckish, so I ordered a hot dog and a glass of Coke, as did the person with me, which came to $37. the hot dogs consisted of a bun, the meat, and ketchup and mustard. the glass of Coke had ice in it. kind of afraid of the Banff-ification of Jasper, I admit.

2026-06-09 17:34:35 UTC

well... just got my call from the adult autism clinic; I'm booked for my assessment in July. guess we'll find out what flavour of fucked up I am shortly

2026-06-09 15:01:25 UTC

it's a little unfair that once you've loved someone you can never go back to being the person who hadn't loved them. I would fix that in the next universe release

2026-05-26 20:34:26 UTC

whoever signed me up for 'Adulthood 303: Yes, It Can and Will Get Worse' needs to fucking take it back

2026-05-26 17:44:29 UTC

it's my fourth week of HRT.
doing this alone is very lonely, I admit.

2026-05-25 17:19:38 UTC

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@nprofile…p0lr yup. I mean even if I'd been prescient and given warnings two years ago, AISH let people BARELY live paycheque to paycheque. now they're just going to break it and keep breaking it for proof of purpose for privatization. you can't imagine how badly my skin is crawling right now.

2026-05-25 15:10:29 UTC

quick PSA: if you're disabled and live in Alberta, run. get out. go

2026-05-15 16:01:06 UTC

I... think I'm good
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/579/418/366/751/879/original/01572fe5ba6ee94e.png

2026-05-14 14:18:18 UTC

did anyone expect her to accept this ruling? you have only to look at her WWTD mentality to know that there will be no end to this until we actually separate.
#ABPoli
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/judge-quashes-decision-to-approve-separation-petition-9.7198553?mc_cid=57a41ba4ab

2026-05-13 21:24:43 UTC

listen, comfort is important at work
#snake #BallPython
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/569/373/369/497/764/original/0fefab8630df7dbf.jpeg

2026-05-13 17:15:09 UTC

I really wish Apple was a little more user-friendly when it came to organization of files on my phone. I have pictures I do not want in the main camera roll, but I also do not want to delete them; I can move them to Hidden, but I'm already keeping other photos there, so I can't really organize anything in a meaningful way.

2026-05-11 20:41:56 UTC

neat, I'm justifying the existence of Pride month again ("gay people get a whole MONTH?")
yeah, I... I don't know what to tell you. we're still being murdered and discriminated against. we take one month out of the year to wave flags and go "you can't erase us". how dare

2026-05-09 21:21:09 UTC

memento risu
#photography #skull
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/546/703/594/649/082/original/8a6e8be977238b0c.jpg

2026-05-09 21:19:21 UTC

better version
#photography #snake #RosyBoa
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/546/700/961/301/951/original/288a084c4ec24d28.jpg

2026-05-08 21:50:54 UTC

had someone tell me the other day that I could shoot for “normal”. but why? why would I care?

2026-05-04 19:28:50 UTC

my state of mind is resulting in the angriest possible mouse clicking this afternoon. I think you could tell I'm on the edge just from the click. click. CLICK

2026-04-28 21:45:27 UTC

I volunteered to enroll in a research study involving gender hormone therapy, and now the researchers are asking if I can hold off on starting HRT until after they've done their initial visit. :/

2026-04-28 17:51:12 UTC

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@nprofile…s9yf yes, please!

2026-04-28 17:41:30 UTC

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@nprofile…es0p nah, this is entirely for my well-being; I'm engaging in some addictive behaviours for a dopamine hit and I need to start weaning myself off it.

2026-04-28 17:40:53 UTC

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@nprofile…s9yf yeah, I was thinking of deleting it and asking someone else to set the PIN to unlock downloading apps. I just don't know what the replacement can be.

2026-04-28 17:17:54 UTC

question for the other NDs: what's the best way for you to break a dopamine addiction? e.g. checking a website or negative stimming

2026-04-27 17:01:06 UTC

so I'm looking into changing my name as part of my transition, and the Government of Alberta charges $120 for it, plus another ~$100 for fingerprinting services. I can afford it. I wonder how many trans people can't.

2026-04-25 21:21:47 UTC

quick edit on my phone. I think this turned out well, considering I haven’t picked up my studio in a long while.
#snake #ShortTailedPython #photography
https://cdn.mstdn.ca/media_attachments/files/116/467/440/235/598/160/original/a0d019ec4579fe87.jpeg

2026-04-22 22:09:54 UTC

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@nprofile…7t92 let me borrow some of your neurochemicals, I need them 😋

2026-04-22 21:04:04 UTC

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@nprofile…7t92 I was rewarding myself with Rex Stout books but now I own all fifty of them, so I need something else. 😂

2026-04-22 18:27:47 UTC

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@nprofile…7t92 I had a really good 1:1 just now so I think that took all my brains and the rest of the day will just be the DuckTales theme song

2026-04-22 18:18:16 UTC

ADHD: it’s brain cats

2026-04-21 14:40:13 UTC

talking to a family member about gender-affirming surgery, they asked "why would you even want that? they're just going to slash you up. you need a plastic surgeon" and it took my breath away for a second to realize that the media has given this person the impression that my gender-affirming surgery will be done by Zorro, or something, presumably out the back of the hospital in an alley by the dumpster
I explained that it's done by qualified, experienced surgeons in the hospital within the health care system... hence all the fucking referrals for pre-surgical consults... but good gravy

2026-04-16 21:29:40 UTC

migraine day 8. family doctor hooked me up with rimegeiaoebtjgpant. hasn’t worked yet. debating when my “fuck this” cutoff time to go to the emergency room and spend twelve hours huddled in a chair will be. the best part is how it sort of feels like it’s going away and then the migraine elf stabs down into my brain in new and exciting ways. I hate everything. the end

2026-04-14 20:23:14 UTC

okay, autistic question because sometimes I don't pick up on things very well: is it not kinda racist to make a big point of how to pronounce someone's name when introducing them in a meeting, to the point of adding a mnemonic so people will remember? or is that nice of them to do?

2026-04-08 21:27:03 UTC

just curious about how it works for other people - when you’re affectionate with a partner, especially in an intimate moment, do you get playful and tactile and joyful, and if so, how does the other person react?

2026-04-08 19:26:23 UTC

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I’m mad at how well it works. just furious. this is perfect

2026-04-08 19:25:42 UTC

this is notspon but this fucking thing is the best invention since fried cheese
https://www.amazon.ca/Case-Mate-Magnetic-Phone-Grip-Loop/dp/B0C923FZW1

2026-04-08 16:53:16 UTC

i know it’s a migraine when my reaction to anyone talking is simply SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP regardless of volume or content

2026-04-07 15:48:10 UTC

sometimes we discuss the post-scarcity economy in Star Trek because obviously there are still makers - Picard's family makes wine - and it's still so hard for me to believe they just give it away, but... why not? they would have all their material needs met, presumably including the agricultural needs, so why not just hand it out to anyone who wants it? imagine a farmer's market where everything is free, and people just make and give away their things because they want to.
my capitalist upbringing is dazed and confused.