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https://mastodon.social/@Scoll

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Last Notes

2026-03-17 09:42:31 UTC

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Geometry is better explored through drawings.
I think I understand what you're thinking, but the head-drawing I made says that it wouldn't work unless the polygon is rotationally symmetrical. So maybe words failed us.

2026-03-16 00:03:26 UTC

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Oh that's a tough one to find then, way too specific, and I've not seen it. Would be impossible for me to help without more detail.

2026-03-15 23:26:39 UTC

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What do you want to know about?

2026-03-15 23:26:23 UTC

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...
Yeah... 🙁

2026-03-13 02:42:46 UTC

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Oh, here's the question I should have asked.
If you have all the symptoms, but complete control of your impulses, can you possibly be a psychopath? Or is that a dealbreaker for diagnosis?

2026-03-13 02:16:11 UTC

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I want to know if I am one
Surely anyone who has seen me on here would emphatically deny the possibility. But actually, nobody knows me, not even those closest to me. I put up a very good mask.
Text communication makes it much easier to appear normal.
Not sure how you'd tell me definitively whether I am or not. What's an undeniable sign of psychopathy?

2026-03-11 09:56:46 UTC

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What if someone steals your umbrella every time you replace it, but doesn't use it? They just throw them on a pile in their closet because they enjoy how mad you get. It gives them a rush of satisfaction that they control your life.
This is about billionaires and corpos. (And also umbrellas ;-))
This is what I mean by violating another's autonomy. You're not free to have an umbrella because of that asshole.

2026-03-11 00:26:47 UTC

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I would NOT trust that. Even if it IS the DOE, they're still probably trying to get one over on you. Proceed with caution.
For one thing, they're desperate to have you commit to a financial transaction so that they can then argue that you have the means to pay them, so they may give you the money only to then insist you give it back immediately and then start an auto-draft. Because you certainly have the money they gave you.

2026-03-10 23:39:51 UTC

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Oh! Lol, sorry I thought I had answered it.
I believe that it masks the incidence of minor crimes, but ultimately makes them more common. Kind of like how everyone speeds on the highway.
Crime is generally a violation of another person's autonomy, so generally, yes I consider the reduction of crime to be good.
IMO, victimless crimes should not be considered crimes. But no one should be permitted to impede another from living as they please, in private.

2026-03-10 22:42:32 UTC

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That's actually an aspect I hadn't considered, and you're right. Harsher sentences do indeed make people less likely to report crimes where they feel the punishment is excessive.
Reduced reporting isn't so much reducing crime as it is reducing the statistic. The crimes still happen, and now the criminal will likely recidivate.
Surprise insight! Thank you for that. That's the sort of thing I was hoping would come out of this thread.

2026-03-10 19:17:12 UTC

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And how did that affect the incidence of minor crimes?

2026-03-10 16:32:39 UTC

Thought experiment (law):
If every crime were punishable by death, how would that impact the incidence of lesser crimes like shoplifting?
Would it deter murder, or cause more killing?

2026-03-09 03:16:53 UTC

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"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free."
...
"I remember how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much."
...
"I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An Inch, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us." -- Valerie

2026-03-09 03:01:44 UTC

"They put you in a cell and took everything they could take except your life. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you? The only thing you had left was your life, but it wasn't, was it?"
"You found something else. In that cell you found something that mattered more to you than life. It was when they threatened to kill you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced your death, Evey. You were calm. You were still." -- V

2026-03-08 15:56:55 UTC

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"What is all of this?" Says a person, in the presence of people who know what all of this is. Ask them? On a video documentary? Nooooo.
The reluctance to engage with ideas and people that make us uncomfortable is a powerful dehumanizing force.

2026-03-08 05:27:03 UTC

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Crazy thing is, I haven't seen any nazis lately, and I am really really interested in.. "seeing" them 😉
Turns out, this instance is just hiding everything on itself, from me. That's why I don't see the nazis, because I'm on the server with them, and it's hiding "Local" from me, and presumably everyone else on this server, which.. doesn't make any sense to me.
I'm probably going to todon, but I'm hesitating before committing.

2026-03-08 03:46:02 UTC

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Ants ate my turnips, my tomatoes grew fungus after heavy rain, and my potatoes refused to grow any further than they did in my cabinet, once placed in dirt and watered.
I grew katuk and it flourished, but then a bunch of wasp nests were built inside it. Now the cold snap has killed it off.
Herbs grew fine until they got too much sun.
I had some of my favorite flowers growing but the (landlord-hired) landscapers poisoned them.
Gardening is fraught with dangers. Protect them plants.

2026-03-08 03:32:14 UTC

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If todon.eu knew you were on there, they'd ban you, lol. They have a no tankies rule.
I'll be passing on that instance, upon reading their rules. I consider myself more of a Libertarian-Socialist or Anarcho-Socialist, but I don't want a "tankie" accusation to lead to a ban and loss of my whole account.
Also, it's okay to punch nazis <- that statement is against their rules. (Less tame versions of that statement, even moreso)

2026-03-07 14:14:30 UTC

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I understand the instance that I'm on has a reputation, but also nobody can defederate from it because it's basically the hub, so I can be sure I'm reading everything out there. (Unless there's a mastodon darknet...)
Also I'm aware of the FBI incident with Kolektiva. That's not a dealbreaker for me, personally, because I understand the nuance of what happened. Feds are literally everywhere.
You're a fed, I'm a fed... everyone is a fed.
I kinda like Ni.hil.ist but I'd have to disappear

2026-03-07 14:02:05 UTC

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UPDATE: "This feed has been disabled by your server administrators."
Well that's fuckin weird.

2026-03-07 14:00:08 UTC

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Alright, I've done my searching around and couldn't find how to do that.
I switched it to advanced web interface and it was still missing. All I can see in the other column is 'notifications'
Maybe I should take this as a sign to leave this instance. Maybe I get back on kolektiva again, idunno.
I want to be on a server that almost nobody blacklists, and kolektiva has been blocked quite a bit.
Unfortunately I am not a possum, or I'd join yours ;-)

2026-03-07 13:25:16 UTC

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It's been like that for days now. I assumed it was a bug but it is persistent.
In Fedilab, the local feed and federated feed buttons say "No messages to display" and in my web browser I cannot find the buttons for those feeds on mastodon.social
Could it be an account setting maybe? I recently switched to "locked"

2026-03-07 13:18:06 UTC

Uhhhh...
What happened to the local feed and federated feed?

2026-02-26 19:50:22 UTC

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I was just thinking I might want to join a minecraft server again. Wonder if the $15 I gave over 10 years ago still grants me access.
You will be visited by a mysterious stranger.
[Edit: Oh, it's minetest.]

2026-01-03 11:27:43 UTC

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Update: Chonky Boy (that's not what I call him) showed up to "steal" Skinny Girl's food
I had to decide between $15,000 ER bills and letting my kitten die from blocked urethra. I had to compromise and ask them to just do an exam ($300) and tell me if he would live until the next day so I could go to my non-emergency vet. That cost me $3000.
Oh and he was screaming all night 😕
Now he has to eat food which costs $100 for 3 month supply. It's ridiculous.

2026-01-03 10:49:13 UTC

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Did you pay for anything to be done? How much?

2026-01-03 01:54:51 UTC

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Welp...
I've lost a few of my strays this year too. Down to just two and one has been missing since the NYE fireworks.
You did good. Sometimes it's financially impossible to do the right thing, but you tried anyway.

2025-12-31 19:00:02 UTC

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He's definitely injured, and it's kinda urgent. If you go to the emergency vet, that will cost 5x.
I don't trust shelters not to put cats down. They really do not GAF.
This is a bad week to need to see a doctor though :-/ at least you've got him contained. Injured cats will hide until they die, so keep him safe inside. He may have difficulty "eliminating" with a broken tail. If he isn't going, it's life threatening. Take him to the ER if so.
Sucks how expensive everything is.

2025-12-29 19:23:14 UTC

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I'm actually enjoying the touchpad, feels cozy like a phone. I can scroll with a flick, pinch to zoom, and do a two fingered swipe to the side to navigate back. Pretty nice.

2025-12-29 13:39:32 UTC

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https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/powertoys/fancyzones
I'm basically migrating from my windows desktop, to a laptop running Elementary. The DE is pantheon, and it's not really documented as much as gnome or KDE, so I'm not sure how to change the window placement behavior to be similar to this windows addon (which is now built in).
I'm going to try masking the 'gala' binary to point to #i3wm or something similar, and see if that works.
I don't like moving windows into pixel perfect positions manually, with a touchpad.

2025-12-29 02:28:01 UTC

The most annoying question in response to a linux user asking for help:
"Why would you want to do that?"
I want to replace the window manager in #pantheonDesktop with something like i3gaps. I want the dock and panel and most of the features of pantheon, I just want my windows to be placed automatically into zones.
Doesn't have to be a replacement wm, if gala can do it somehow.

2025-12-21 02:03:47 UTC

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Indeed, I and I understand we and us.
I'm mostly unfamiliar with Hinduism, but I generally say I'd be Buddhist if I was going to be any religion, as it does not oppose reflection upon itself. Might do a bit of light investigation out of curiosity.

2025-12-20 21:11:50 UTC

My personal theory on consciousness is that there is only one. It filters through our bodies and gives us different personalities, but remove the filter and it's the full spectrum of all that the Universe experiences. People call that God.
It's a 60% confidence kind of belief of mine, still under consideration.
Pay attention to how your environment affects your behavior. There's no hard line between outside and inside. There's no cell/molecule that you can be reduced to. It's all you.

2025-12-18 22:25:45 UTC

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...
...
...
and how have YOU been?
😁
(But actually, upon survey, condition green, neutral disposition)

2025-12-18 20:55:45 UTC

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Speaking from experience, some people have a hair-trigger for taking something the wrong way and getting very mad, but that does not make me like them any less.
This is my fourth mastodon account. I've been blocked by some of my favorite people before and it sucked, but they're still cool with me. They just misunderstood me, and that's okay.
Next time I reply to them, I'll be more careful, will probably "save to draft" the reply and consider connotations carefully for hours.

2025-12-18 20:04:26 UTC

Feels good to reply to people, but it's usually unwelcome to do so.
I'm never sure if I'm getting on someone's nerves. Very nervous about getting blocked by someone I obviously enjoy seeing posts from.
(No, not talking about you.)
(Or you.)

2025-12-15 17:12:15 UTC

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Think deeply enough and you come up with actionable items. That makes the despair even worse.

2025-12-15 17:00:31 UTC

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They say if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
I feel like I live in a collapsing simulation of reality. I just accept the absurdity of it now.
It is impossible to overstate how terrible things are.

2025-12-15 13:23:10 UTC

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I've been known to respond thusly:
"Hey how have you been?" -- sayeth other person unto me
"..."
"..."
"... and how about yourself?"

2025-11-12 02:02:05 UTC

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The "story" in that game feels like a choose-your-own-adventure in that you can follow whatever questline you want and the game takes on different meanings depending on which one you choose. Except that you can do all the questlines at the same time, and none of them feel fulfilling or complete.
I really liked discovering the Atlas plotline, and doing archaeology was almost fun until the third time when I realized it was cookiecutter. Game had potential.

2025-11-11 14:16:10 UTC

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"You want doctors to work for free like slaves?"
Yeah.. I had that argument a few times. Triggers PTSD just thinking about their complete inability to understand things.

2025-11-10 17:08:40 UTC

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It was actually a representative of Carter who was booed, Lifschutz.
"“G‐d forgive us for voting for Carter,” read a banner painted on a bedsheet waving above the front row of spectators as Robert Lifschutz, counsel to the President, stepped to the microphones before thousands of spectators."
The bias of the article is part of what I find interesting about it.
Is Ed Koch related to the Koch brothers?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Koch#Sexuality
Oh, that's very interesting. He was the one Cuomo slurred.

2025-11-10 15:40:43 UTC

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I'm not sure what I should have done instead.. I tried to find a wayback link but that doesn't exist.

2025-11-10 12:55:12 UTC

Found this while trying to answer my own question:
https://www.nytimes.com/1978/05/22/archives/carters-aide-is-booed-in-new-york-at-a-rally-for-soviet-jewry-koch.html
That's a confusing article, when considered in modern context. I'd need to look into a lot of the context of the time and the people mentioned in this story to understand.
"we will never let the leadership of the United States work in any way to the disadvantage or Israel."
“The fact is that the Carter Administration forced the Congress into a confrontation with Israel.”
and that is why carter was booed in 1978.

2025-11-09 21:48:33 UTC

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I strain to even visualise what you describe, manually. Maybe it's just my poor memory or a lack of desire to remember the past.
Do you have some kind of training/schooling in drawing out timelines?

2025-10-26 03:33:30 UTC

Something resembling a swat van was sitting in the parking lot outside for the past 15 mins. Then it turned on some super bright lights, so I hid from the window and went to my room to retrieve something. Came back out and it was gone.
Shit like that makes me wonder if I'm still sane.

2025-10-26 03:17:52 UTC

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Dysthymia is accurate. Whether it's clinical or based in the reality of the state of the world, I'm not sure.
It does feel a bit like dementia, my memory has gotten very bad.
Sometimes, I go through some extremely (!!) stressful things, which I must necessarily endure privately, and I worry that it might break me. I'm often concerned about that. It's in my genes.

2025-10-26 02:47:08 UTC

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My experience was that I was very confused and couldn't form a complete thought. I was wondering if that was a symptom.
Looked up the symptoms, found that I match them, just not the hallucination. I think that the confusion I was having is common to many mental illnesses, but is also a symptom of schizophrenia.
I don't have any OCD-like compulsions, no. As far as I know, everything I do is normal and rational.

2025-10-26 02:31:49 UTC

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Well, yeah.. I'm definitely sad/depressed a lot, but that just makes sense.
I've been around many schizophrenic people, I know I'm not there yet. The description of it being like a waking dream state is very apt.
The thing that concerns me is that I wouldn't be aware if it had happened. From my point of view, nothing I do is crazy.
I've been preparing for it all my life. Part of that preparation was to learn to never be afraid enough to lash out at anyone. Shaped my personality. (500)

2025-10-26 00:45:16 UTC

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While I don't hear voices, I do talk to myself out loud. I have conversations with myself. But I'm fully aware that it's my own thoughts, so that's not the same thing as a hallucination.
Coping mechanism of loneliness, I guess. I'm happy when I've got enough privacy that I can talk to myself, haha.
I had some very disordered thoughts, that was what made me look it up.
Then I thought I could just start typing and make sense of them. Couldn't do it.

2025-10-26 00:25:39 UTC

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I think that's all I wanted to write.
I tried to write about this privately on a non-networked device, but it broke just as I prepared it. I found that funny.
Obviously I'm toning it down a bit here, in public.
I needed to vent some of this.
I looked up the symptoms of schizophrenia the other day. I thought I might have snapped into it. I have every symptom except for the hallucinations.. which makes me wonder if I'm unaware that I'm having them. I don't think so, but how would I know?

2025-10-26 00:15:55 UTC

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Now I'm past it. I feel kind of lost. What am I supposed to be doing now?
I'm having difficulty feeling the passion about world events that I had before. I care about everything, I want to do something about it, I just don't get that emotional rise anymore.
There are things that can be done to make the world a better place, but I don't have any expectation that anyone else is going to do it. It feels like it falls to me to carry it.
Only me, alone. Because I can't communicate.

2025-10-26 00:02:44 UTC

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I had a feeling one morning that something bad was happening soon. So, I avoided going out.
Didn't see any signs that something bad would have happened, if I had gone out.
Decided to stop carrying for those weeks, just in case the incident was triggered by having it with me. (Its purpose is to save others, not to save myself.) Nothing happened.
I was ready for something to happen. There was no fear. There was no paranoia. Just waiting. And I didn't care if I died. But nothing happened.

2025-10-25 23:52:40 UTC

I find that when I don't keep my mind busy, I just constantly think "I want to kill myself", but I really don't. It's annoying that the thought keeps pestering me.
I am not suicidal. I have rationalized my way out of that. Don't worry about me.
I understand it so well, that I've turned it into strength. What can anyone threaten me with? I'm fearless.
Anyway, it kinda turned into apathy last month. I feel like that's worse.

2025-09-26 02:34:07 UTC

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Oh, wow... I had forgotten that there was a time in my life that I felt safe entering a church without being religious.

2025-09-25 20:55:03 UTC

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K-eMKjo1bs
There ya go. Whenever you feel like it.

2025-09-25 16:57:55 UTC

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Not building? Interesting.
This is technically my style of play, over 10 years ago. I had a twitch channel but have deleted it.
My playstyle was nomadic. I would explore all day, only seeking shelter at night (often building it). My mission was to seek out novel locations, enjoy them as they are, and move on. I would live off the land and find material for equipment upgrades only in passing.
I played hardcore style. Delete on death.

2025-09-25 15:45:11 UTC

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Well, Epic is very entertaining. It tells the same story with a little pandering to modern times.
"Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves"
(Was in my bio until recently)
Took me at least two listens before I really understood what that meant. It sounded like nonsense at first.
(Answered here)

2025-09-25 15:28:36 UTC

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Well, I've been dropping very subtle hints about my main interest. (Stopping fascism)
Then I spoke less subtly.
Now I've deleted it all.
Other than that. I keep mentioning Epic: The Musical in hopes that someone else enjoyed it as much as I did. The story of Odysseus. The lessons taught are relevant to the other thing.
It's kind of like speaking in code, looking for like-minded people.
There's less here than there were on TikTok, which is bizarre.
Not my only interest [500chars]

2025-09-25 13:01:33 UTC

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I haven't seen a post from you in a while. So I understand that sometimes the non-algorithm can fail us. I put people like you into a list called "don't miss this" because those of us who only toot a little bit get drowned out.
I'm glad I make you smile, but I'm not sure what I said that had that effect.
I just went through and purged all of my sadness out of here. It feels way worse to vent about anxieties and have no sign at all that anyone saw it.

2025-09-25 10:32:25 UTC

Everyone's got their own little bubble of interest. I pay attention to theirs. Nobody asks me about mine. I'm talking to myself..
However, every time I mention AI or LLM, I get immediate repudiation. So I know people are reading me, but they just don't care what I have to say.
This is a whole other kind of "attention deficit".

2025-09-25 02:38:43 UTC

You'll never out-weird me.
You have no idea the things I've seen. I do not judge.

2025-09-25 02:18:40 UTC

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Pairs well with "hunter". Though I would never end the life of an innocent animal.

2025-09-22 12:38:57 UTC

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It's important to understand that his supporters really do think things are getting better. They don't have the same sensibilities we do.
I haven't talked to any of them in a while. Last I heard they were excited for the truth to come out about Epstein. Also the JFK files (where?). They also think that the "crime problem" is being solved, and they can't understand why we would take the side of criminals. Their stocks and crypto are up, apparently. They were also up under Biden.

2025-09-21 12:58:43 UTC

I can't, today

2025-09-21 02:29:41 UTC

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It's probably better if you're already familiar with the lore from the game. It's probably a good show on its own, but it is constantly making insider references for us gamers. Most of my enjoyment came from seeing them flesh out how game mechanics would work realistically.
Ghoulification was never explained much, for example.

2025-09-20 12:04:58 UTC

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There is no red ink.

2025-09-19 12:00:53 UTC

I'm not afraid I'll die. I'm afraid I won't make a difference.
(Reminds me, Aaron Bushnell)

2025-09-17 13:06:27 UTC

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In the comments are some nazi sympathizers.
"Rules of war. Don't kill prisoners"
"That's murder"
"Atrocities"
"Victors write history" -- SSPanzee (Seriously?)

2025-09-17 13:02:08 UTC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKxJmbIHbPQ
It was a toss-up between Inglourious and Fury, last night.
Brad Pitt stars in both.
This right here is exemplary of "pacifism is pro-fascism"

2025-09-17 12:16:02 UTC

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaEcJHURjso
THIS was the scene I was thinking of.
BONK!

2025-09-17 00:48:38 UTC

Inglourious Basterds is still a good watch. Now I can't stop saying "naahtsees"
... And "Gorlami"
gorlami

2025-09-15 18:49:24 UTC

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<astronaut meme>
We're all lonely and feel helpless?
Always were.

2025-09-15 15:36:57 UTC

I could be an astronaut,
untethered and drifting.
Alone,
no chance for rescue.
Just staring at eternity,
resigned to the end.

2025-09-13 01:32:05 UTC

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It's not for lack of skill. You write well. It's just the subject matter that is niche.

2025-09-12 23:48:06 UTC

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Well, it's not bad.
Not my kind of story, though.

2025-09-12 19:15:32 UTC

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=hio3QR84DgY
I NV ME - All Nazis Must Die

2025-09-12 12:14:28 UTC

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Where is it?
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/191/268/455/155/495/original/93023fb024e965a4.mp4

2025-09-10 12:28:21 UTC

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Was this written with the repetition intentionally? Cool mental illusion. Felt like a time loop or glitch.
After clicking the link, I think it was just a parsing error. But it looks like poetry to me.

2025-09-10 11:40:40 UTC

If the pickup truck is a symbol which means "I don't need anyone's help", then I finally understand why truck drivers are the most respectful of motorcyclists (IMPE). It just clicked for me, does that make sense?
I guess the motorcycle is a vehicle which says "I won't help anyone else". That makes them compatible.
Economy cars say "I self-sacrifice for others"
... whoa. I'm onto something

2025-09-05 01:01:01 UTC

May joy and innocence prevail

2025-09-03 16:15:38 UTC

Just looked at a few pages of local joblistings. They all pay minimum wage, even the manager jobs.
Isn't it Great?

2025-09-02 13:44:13 UTC

If I said "Make israel look like palestine" people would say I was being genocidal and antisemitic.
If that would upset you, meditate on your hypocrisy for a while.

2025-09-01 11:26:20 UTC

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Represent it fairly. We do the work, they get 90% of the money.