zonk :fatteratte:

fedi's #1 cargo shorts shill

ad: zonk: after dark (npub1c70…a260)

Public Key

npub1kew69pyjevetk3peauccu7j2dpzlkmvk594q6mnyf8m8gwzk9yqsadqvt9

NIP-05 Address

Profile Code

nprofile1qqstvhdzsjfvkv4mgsu77vvw0f9xs30mdkt2z6sddejynan58ptzjqgpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsms0lmv

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1kew69pyjevetk3peauccu7j2dpzlkmvk594q6mnyf8m8gwzk9yqsadqvt9

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Last Notes

2026-07-10 04:30:23 UTC

accidentally revealed my power level not once not twice but 3 times at work today and i think the intern is scared of me now

2026-06-29 03:59:42 UTC

freaked out my coworker today by casually mentioning i was gay. he thought i was straight for the past 2 months. he was talking about some "my gaydar is broken". my brother in christ, if a man says "dinking my oiter" out loud in person to you, there's NO WAY he's straight

2026-06-07 15:15:13 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/08/4f/25/084f2543f4b05c2039f39d1a97ea813568af8f7beb4fc91a9a2bd724bbe0a97d.webp?name=6u3EP91tOjRAxg.webp

2026-05-31 01:46:21 UTC

commercial van truck instead of economy car to save $18? 👀
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/c0/d1/a6/c0d1a67679630a7cadd6d1de236ea32568b46065c3897544cb469803495c5923.webp?name=oftsmS3dsYDX8w.webp

2026-05-22 00:32:04 UTC

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i was on polymarket for exactly 2 bets until i lost one and immediately logged out forever. made a nice $500 total tho

2026-05-20 17:46:23 UTC

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he needs his comfort twink to squeeze

2026-05-19 20:33:18 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/e7/7d/ea/e77dea092b8493163b9257701f55f8434dabbea500302747323ca17636826d43.webp?name=3B4LVbqx82P7Yw.webp

2026-05-18 22:36:52 UTC

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https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/29/dd/fc/29ddfcd09693b6ef295a22ad9b7d7039f9853cfc5447022e9ccd3c547787d879.m4a?name=A5thg52IZZTCZw.m4a

2026-05-18 22:32:41 UTC

after living in america for 5 years, i still don't understand miles or fareigh.... farreigh .... FUCK

2026-05-18 22:26:03 UTC

dudes playing league really say "i call bottom". ok bro bite the pillow

2026-05-17 18:13:01 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/b6/5b/f5/b65bf5ddd91f89327d05efe86fa2126d6a4207d39cbdd6467601580604b5b6e1.webp?name=sipSH_2dT_cVQg.webp

2026-05-15 23:44:14 UTC

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don't worry, ill only bully you for your sexual proclivities... unless you get off on balatro somehow, in which case it's fair game

2026-05-15 00:15:58 UTC

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i sniffed a hot guy's feet this week
before clumsily backing into a shelf with my butt and knocking down a mirror, which ultimately broke
god hates footfags, he interrupted my foot time 😔

2026-03-16 10:43:33 UTC

im never leaving malaysia
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/4b/9a/69/4b9a699832866bafc1e48ed28df9caaddc9a95fe9eab30696d27190752632ba7.webp?name=165GuU8R_h1-VQ.webp

2026-03-04 18:47:29 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/7c/5a/e0/7c5ae0dd0bf231cb556d90d2f5663588cdb1ab2aa9455eac8a51001af7ff0ea2.webp?name=j8rgI04RgcrZAw.webp

2026-02-12 04:37:52 UTC

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give me your sugar daddy's phone number NOW

2026-02-12 04:35:57 UTC

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wtf i thought you needed to be a hotel guest to swim there??? you can just swim???

2026-02-12 01:49:02 UTC

https://age-verifier.kibty.town/ discord auto age verifier without id dropped 👀

2026-02-10 16:19:18 UTC

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this is crazy. i didn't know that magic eye images were a thing, i always assumed they were some crazy optical illusion you needed glasses to see. but i did eye focus exercises by imagining me staring at a mountain far away, and that immediately made the 3d image come out and it became insanely clear and sharp. it was a little uncanny, like i was adjusting the focus knob on a pair of binoculars. i kept adjusting the knob up and down until i eventually managed to tune it in, and then my brain did the rest of the work. it takes a lot of effort to maintain that focus though, if i move my head too much to see the 3d i break the illusion. very cool!!!

2026-01-27 14:40:03 UTC

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the fucking government knows my name???

2026-01-27 05:27:31 UTC

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but what if i want to be a good piggy for Big Fag and grasp at all the fagslop that i can see

2026-01-27 05:12:25 UTC

as lebron said: delayed fagslop is eventually good, rushed fagslop is bad forever

2026-01-27 05:06:55 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/3b/69/4d/3b694d0d5cad68145e1d3d48b5ad4e5d2d2cad86a330e745fef8b62d64dbfa94.webp?name=mbLLyJRJbNhaeA.webp

2026-01-26 16:06:48 UTC

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the absolute sloppy state of so many of these tools is honestly great. normies who don't understand how to use them have ensured an infinite supply of work for me. and it's not even that hard, i just clean up after their mistakes and get paid handsomely

2026-01-24 16:42:07 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/65/db/db/65dbdbaf9aef36250dcc8f3a18b1eb454b248e56371e2856778e8bb0f7c52743.webp?name=yXuKCdNu1B4Hvg.webp

2026-01-22 12:32:52 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/60/66/12/606612e8bf283d9be37affcd6288c6426e995d77c5a99d639dda8c2a9a2d9a1a.webp?name=zrWBR2bAHgYPSg.webp

2026-01-22 04:55:59 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/48/aa/20/48aa2091e86ea1c66da58a28d48f0800dd44d23c1c0d7957a7f16ddace5dbf8d.webp?name=bv-3Ci8SgF7Ufw.webp

2026-01-22 04:22:36 UTC

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i hate building stuff that gets a lot of eyeballs, too much pressure, i like working on behind the scenes stuff that's both more critical and fun

2026-01-22 03:46:54 UTC

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even after living in a supposedly disadvantaged area of kansas (that has 5g, walmart, thriving local businesses, and a fresh stream of new colleges students coming in), a trip to hickland really put things into perspective for me. "the greatest country on earth" has a whole class of people that it just forgot about, and not enough emphasis is placed on lifting them out of poverty (obviously intentionally)

2026-01-22 03:23:14 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/ff/32/64/ff3264e40517ca7af2d2e2ad4015543e9698bd2a431f2c795559511777e430a1.webp?name=ZOC5pz2byRM4EA.webp

2026-01-15 02:20:14 UTC

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waiter, waiter, one men to go, please

2026-01-15 01:47:22 UTC

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i can't believe you're two men in a dinosaur trenchcoat!!!

2026-01-15 01:44:23 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/29/39/f5/2939f552ed69e5d0996fc2e3a90dcc7c7f13b0ea8c6f3e5a7a5de111175e44a2.jpg?name=s7e0o68Jw1egjA.jpg

2026-01-14 03:51:53 UTC

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i did some testing and despite having almost perfect hearing and a musical background i just can't tell the difference a lot of the time, even in genres like electronic music. although speakers are an entirely different ballgame, i think they're the real audiophile proving grounds

2026-01-14 03:43:05 UTC

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kavinsky is an absolute classic. i have uhhhhhhhhh a very weird music taste. here's a few different songs in my speeding playlist from different genres, feel free to check them out:
https://youtu.be/pKkX7GgiPOo
https://youtu.be/OGvczoCWh60
https://youtu.be/rlT6bzkuNoY
https://youtu.be/hyj4JFSErrw
https://youtu.be/awEbh2ckYNE
https://youtu.be/bLC2h0bUHfY
based. unfortunately spirals aren't as effective as the memes make them out to be. if only my mind could be quieted with a flashing, alternating pattern. life would be so much easier...
yeah! ive been into erotic hypnosis for quite a while. i haven't gone under in person (i.e. with an actual hypnotist present with me in the room) yet, but ive played around a lot with pre-recorded files and with hypnotists on discord. i am submissive, so that's the lens im experiencing the fetish through, but the feeling of giving up control is extremely intoxicating. it's like a rush. ive done quite a lot of stuff: triggers, memory play, post hypnotic suggestions, perception alteration. the list goes on. it is been an incredibly fun hobby, but i don't live alone so i don't get to enjoy it as much anymore :(

2026-01-14 03:17:34 UTC

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i can't dance either, only shuffle around autistically, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying it. edm usually goes straight into my irresponsible driving playlist, alongside other club bangers.
you like hypno porn, i like actually getting hypnotized in real life, we are not the same. perhaps if you stopped looking at spirals all the time you'd remember what you were talking about 👀

2026-01-14 03:00:28 UTC

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hypnotists and edm make life worth living though

2026-01-13 18:34:34 UTC

i can't believe we shut down vine so we could watch thirst traps, followed by footage of war crimes, and then an ad for moisturizer, all within 30s of each other. no wonder we have irreversible brain damage

2026-01-13 12:22:40 UTC

i got everything i wanted last night, a long-standing multi-year fantasy bordering on obsession finally came true. and in the moment i panicked, not knowing what to do with the ultimate freedom i'd been granted. but i eventually managed to get myself together and enjoy it. man. i feel so fulfilled and whole again. a part of me broke last night, but by morning i realized what a huge weight it was off of my shoulders. finally, i am free

2026-01-06 04:52:13 UTC

the best part of growing up is realizing that veggies are good as fuck when they arent boiled, soggy, and unseasoned

2026-01-03 16:27:59 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/d7/62/74/d76274e522bbbf8d8b72b743217f7338ca4b97f91aa5690d262534a8ea138ae9.jpg?name=X2TmL-3IuD--cQ.jpg

2026-01-01 23:49:29 UTC

i need a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long hug

2025-12-26 03:35:46 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/f5/3c/18/f53c187775e12751ecf036609a32fb446ee10915fdca30650745f1050443620d.jpg?name=vo-r4XzIzQdeRA.jpg

2025-12-24 17:25:52 UTC

perhaps it would be wise to delete files like "Heated Rivalry S01E01 Rookies 2160p HMAX WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 265-STC.mkv" from my hard drive before i land in kazakhstan (not because piracy, but because homosexuality)

2025-12-24 17:19:59 UTC

twink peaks

2025-12-23 18:07:19 UTC

i-294 is NOT for the weak. a truck passed me while i was doing 85 (still not keeping up with the flow of traffic, speed limit is 45) and i had to go full moscow driver mode to survive

2025-12-22 02:49:38 UTC

i love zootopia 2, absolutely worth the watch

2025-12-22 02:16:56 UTC

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i don't know man, im a cocktail deep into this movie and i have feelings for the fox

2025-12-22 02:14:48 UTC

animal racism: the movie is crazy

2025-12-21 21:33:26 UTC

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is this something

2025-12-21 21:33:15 UTC

bye-sexual

2025-12-21 13:26:34 UTC

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the sensitive young men when they're held close and have their hair ruffled

2025-12-21 06:03:23 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/76/20/d1/7620d183b55a266fb3e9476e5cb34cf89a6abf5623e3973f81be32c298703366.jpg?name=9rUFvpVKtEZcjw.jpg

2025-12-20 20:06:59 UTC

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lmfao. see, you're no saint either!!! but these things happen, you just have to have your wits on you when you drive

2025-12-20 20:03:01 UTC

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id like to see you drive after you've only had a car for 4 months

2025-12-20 20:01:52 UTC

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i will get better in due time ‼️ you're never gonna let me forget how i couldn't parallel park near that abandoned castle aren't you

2025-12-20 19:57:24 UTC

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there's a few hotspots where drivers are insane, but for the most part they're okay. when your entire life revolves around driving for at least 4 hours a day, you get pretty good at it

2025-12-18 21:23:55 UTC

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conveniently typing with one hand while watching men talk about balls. very curious
- turning point zonk

2025-12-18 21:02:17 UTC

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never. i will glaze with words when i can't with my tongue

2025-12-18 20:56:46 UTC

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you have a majestic cock,.brother

2025-12-18 20:48:27 UTC

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i have a nut allergy. i get all feverish and hot and bothered when i come into contact with them. they're saying exposure therapy could help

2025-12-18 20:44:51 UTC

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do your balls hang lo? do they wobble to the flo? do they shine in the light? are they full or are they tight?

2025-12-18 20:39:26 UTC

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yes 🤤

2025-12-18 02:35:56 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/03/19/b9/0319b98c02825ad03e24a2d65412b99c1af7311a1e95ae6bcdba9ba72e0f6e9c.jpg?name=_HIThZJulCyLLw.jpg

2025-12-16 05:46:30 UTC

home at last
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/07/50/c8/0750c854d05337e81ff0565c753a4d0bb8dec9a08382ac1d9dc355e1d4d19097.jpg?name=rAVsWCtnaq4NgA.jpg

2025-12-16 03:43:23 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/64/9b/19/649b19e225c8afebd299d87b814546323f04f7d1f2f5a7d45a4998bd85a58fa4.jpg?name=Jgb7384RkJ0vwg.jpg

2025-12-16 03:43:12 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/1e/f2/38/1ef2386fe32edaa3a33ec4a467b14dabfcf1024f87629101d3cb93676b24306c.jpg?name=3ePkokpUWcGVWw.jpg

2025-12-12 22:40:24 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/c6/e1/ae/c6e1aed6152dce13f872a6a3534c165962c36cfed002ee47d950cad425717011.jpg?name=8KsSg6Z2phTIUg.jpg

2025-12-11 20:08:58 UTC

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https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/08/4f/8e/084f8ec6b0cf1ba43210bb165267db6779e2ce785620926decdeae44659126ec.png?name=IwOIJvrjJuayIw.png

2025-12-11 18:39:07 UTC

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i need your sock for uhhhhhh don't worry about it

2025-12-11 16:24:35 UTC

mom im scared of opening the comments. i wanna go home
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/e1/8f/3c/e18f3cef82249cceb5f76024240ec7c1490ff607375a146584c883a0390861b7.png?name=2TMuiD8AA3MMqA.png

2025-12-11 16:23:14 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/64/cc/9c/64cc9cef96d6ecd852edb205d246cae80279d85b3d1f01cfa296422969ddb2de.jpg?name=2yHet_lDyG-1Ng.jpg

2025-12-10 21:07:12 UTC

it crimbas
huge thanks to @npub1e2p…nh0g for going absolutely crazy with vance, get your commission before the holiday season ends, limited time only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/22/cd/4a/22cd4a93e44e18d134950a973b37da223a3b83cf50cb99c2671efaa07cbde471.png?name=9EUZkfJAMix8_w.png

2025-12-09 00:08:24 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/1e/41/6e/1e416e6aae957e754e07a8c390eae5d628e34f95566b61301d27b79c097ad10e.jpg?name=kVOAzacW6dfl_w.jpg

2025-12-09 00:08:18 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/ca/4f/ac/ca4fac28de23bb2f546a54573e5e5c082c74155fc1ded1ac64238524683793f9.jpg?name=VT4CC2f6cf-JAw.jpg

2025-12-08 18:07:22 UTC

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you get used to your foul tasting water bottle if you only drink from it

2025-12-08 18:02:12 UTC

mmmmm. residual dishwasher liquid in my water bottle. tasty

2025-12-08 17:46:26 UTC

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this is a govtech solution my county pays 6 figures a year for btw

2025-12-08 17:44:55 UTC

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embarrassing
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/63/5a/ae/635aae839396388e409b4082aa273cd5c5af63dc4286b8ff8fc70d00bd4ca0de.png?name=-ciIKZYPZzD7dA.png

2025-12-08 17:44:25 UTC

great url retard
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/34/f5/59/34f559abb1604ccde358d4daf056094b2f37d324dcb6498418669e5dc800dac6.png?name=txldyCBrvG2F_g.png

2025-12-08 13:32:25 UTC

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completely fair and i do the same. except ill occasionally have trouble falling asleep at 2am and ill say "fuck it" and work on the accursed thing in the garage. it's even funnier when i have to go somewhere for work the next morning and parts of it are completely disassembled

2025-12-08 13:28:18 UTC

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this is me with my car rn (except instead of money it's time (and nerves because im stupid enough to diy with absolutely 0 experience whatsoever (but god loves fags and it always works out)))

2025-12-08 06:03:14 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/73/ec/7a/73ec7acabafd9f56ce77307d1ecf06944808294dbdc9e071a9faa2be3829a848.jpg?name=3qooTEbIobOaHw.jpg

2025-12-08 05:27:42 UTC

girls are right bro the big ones actually hurt 😭😭😭

2025-12-06 04:27:32 UTC

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they're guys

2025-12-06 04:07:18 UTC

peak
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/1c/bf/cc/1cbfccb56d4e60fe99dd7e3a56c3260fdac30b7451ac7fe8ec96870f3d12aa77.jpg?name=RjA8exToE-F21A.jpg

2025-12-05 07:11:59 UTC

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the american default is fee-free bank accounts (with eligible direct deposit) and free credit cards with 1% flat cashback on everything, maaaaybe 2 or more % on certain categories, reaching up to 5% on specialty cards
then you start going into the paid credit cards, where your rewards are not direct cashback but airline or hotel or whatever points. the default is $50-$250 a year airline cards that grant you status, bonus miles, and a free checked bag, for example.
and at the very high end you might have something like the american express platinum card: https://www.americanexpress.com/us/credit-cards/card/platinum/, which is $895 a year, but comes with lounge access, all sorts of travel and purchase protections, and an integrated coupon system, as well as a points ecosystem with 20 different transfer partners
there are different ways to leverage these cards, from churning (applying to a shit ton and then cancelling them after the sign up bonus is exhausted) to just regular spending. it is an absolutely crazy system, but it can reward you extremely handsomely if you play it right, which you are basically encouraged to because the cost of processing these credit cards is already included in the price by the merchant

2025-12-03 17:46:15 UTC

what the 𝄢uck
oh my 𝄞od

2025-12-03 06:33:27 UTC

no one told me that part of being an adult was being unreasonably excited about renewing my car insurance because i can effectively double my coverage without affecting my premium

2025-12-03 06:24:54 UTC

y'all

2025-12-03 06:17:52 UTC

the things they say when they think you're one of them, you just won't believe it

2025-12-03 05:46:21 UTC

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americans don't know how to drive in general. ive been behind the wheel for only 4 months and im already so much better than half of the people ive seen

2025-12-02 19:36:53 UTC

haters mad because i wish the best for my friends

2025-12-02 17:51:30 UTC

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how i pity you. alcohol and good food are what makes life worth living

2025-12-02 17:42:04 UTC

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free drinks and free food!!!!!!!!!!!

2025-12-02 04:17:22 UTC

boss' family invited me to dinner and i told them i was going to burn cardboard tonight. they looked at me like i grew 3 heads. is it really not a normal american thing to burn cardboard???????

2025-12-01 18:07:03 UTC

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i'm honestly a little relieved i don't have to drop a grand on it lol. i was prepared to, but im glad there's someone else who can afford it more

2025-12-01 16:47:27 UTC

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my max bid was exactly $1000. i kneel before the current bidder. it was fun while it lasted :)

2025-12-01 16:16:43 UTC

when you get paid biweekly:
week 1: big pig painting
week 2: ice water soup

2025-12-01 15:59:53 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/97/22/25/9722254c65721c00ba78447477c69c8721e4e97f6395f597cf213a5ff4ec5a81.jpg?name=MduK56r829pxMw.jpg