Nostr notes by The Needling

Millionaires Tax Erases Only Advantage of Living in Sad, Barren ...

2026-05-23T05:53:38+02:00

Millionaires Tax Erases Only Advantage of Living in Sad, Barren Wasteland: https://theneedling.com/2026/04/21/millionaires-tax-erases-only-reason-to-live-in-barren-wasteland/

Supreme Court Votes 6-3 to Officially Change Market Name to ...

2026-05-12T18:42:52+02:00

Supreme Court Votes 6-3 to Officially Change Market Name to Pike’s Place: https://theneedling.com/2026/04/14/supreme-court-votes-6-3-to-officially-change-market-name-to-pikes-place/

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116551614223588601 “I ...

2026-05-12T05:50:05+02:00

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116551614223588601

“I guess I’m just stuck here with no choice but to hear three Life Flights a week fly over my palatial home and yacht dock forever,” said McDickerson as he helplessly looked across Lake Washington at Kirkland, Medina, Hunt’s Point, Bellevue and Mercer Island.

quoting
note1jew…2u4l

$18M Laurelhurst Mansion Owner Just Wishes There Was Some Way to Not Live Next to Noisy Hospital: https://theneedling.com/2026/05/05/18m-laurelhurst-mansion-owner-just-wishes-there-was-some-way-to-not-live-next-to-noisy-hospital/

$18M Laurelhurst Mansion Owner Just Wishes There Was Some Way to ...

2026-05-10T20:08:16+02:00

$18M Laurelhurst Mansion Owner Just Wishes There Was Some Way to Not Live Next to Noisy Hospital: https://theneedling.com/2026/05/05/18m-laurelhurst-mansion-owner-just-wishes-there-was-some-way-to-not-live-next-to-noisy-hospital/

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116531696032292785 To keep ...

2026-05-07T19:05:35+02:00

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116531696032292785

To keep Laurelhurst residents from ever having to hear helicopters transporting sick kids directly to the hospital, today the entire community was airlifted to permanent safety one mile away from Seattle Children’s into Lake Washington.
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RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116520614333689673 A new ...

2026-05-06T18:21:13+02:00

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116520614333689673

A new report confirmed today that Laurelhurst residents blocking helicopters carrying sick kids from landing directly at Seattle Children’s hospital because they’re too noisy ain’t heard motherfucking shit yet.
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RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116446553228618145 “You ...

2026-04-22T07:52:24+02:00

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116446553228618145

“You don’t understand what it’s like out here in the salmon biz: It’s all around us all the time—we’re literally swimming in it. Everyone’s on it! Even chums you wouldn’t expect. Don’t even get me started on how much Humpy loves his ‘melted snow.’”

quoting
note18cw…5z68

Cocaine Salmon Would Like to See You Swim That Far Upstream without a Little Bump: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/10/cocaine-salmon-would-like-to-see-you-swim-that-far-upstream-without-a-little-bump/

Cocaine Salmon Would Like to See You Swim That Far Upstream ...

2026-04-22T06:49:52+02:00

Cocaine Salmon Would Like to See You Swim That Far Upstream without a Little Bump: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/10/cocaine-salmon-would-like-to-see-you-swim-that-far-upstream-without-a-little-bump/

Local Beach Water Tests Positive for Viagra: ...

2026-04-18T08:10:36+02:00

Local Beach Water Tests Positive for Viagra: https://theneedling.com/2026/04/17/local-beach-water-tests-positive-for-viagra/

New Study Shows Bellevue Exists Outside of Work Hours: ...

2026-04-13T16:03:33+02:00

New Study Shows Bellevue Exists Outside of Work Hours: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/01/new-study-shows-bellevue-exists-outside-of-work-hours/

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116395442008654340 ...

2026-04-13T07:14:59+02:00

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116395442008654340

“Should probably just make the best of it and start an OnlyFans," said Bigfoot when asked for comment. "There are worse ways to make money than sending weird guys videos of my Bigfoot toes squishing through mud. Can you imagine if I had to go to an office Monday morning?”
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Entire City of Vancouver, WA Gladly Self-Deports to Vancouver, ...

2026-03-20T06:29:45+01:00

Entire City of Vancouver, WA Gladly Self-Deports to Vancouver, BC: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/19/entire-city-of-vancouver-wa-gladly-self-deports-to-vancouver-bc/

Leavenworth Cabin Renters Now Contractually Obligated to Live, ...

2026-02-05T07:34:50+01:00

Leavenworth Cabin Renters Now Contractually Obligated to Live, Laugh and/or Love:
https://theneedling.com/2026/02/04/leavenworth-cabin-renters-now-contractually-obligated-to-live-laugh-and-or-love/

Phew! Armed Racist Assholes in Bulletproof Vests Just Local Cops: ...

2026-01-22T06:39:53+01:00

Phew! Armed Racist Assholes in Bulletproof Vests Just Local Cops: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/15/phew-armed-racist-assholes-in-bulletproof-vests-just-local-cops/

“Bigg’s orcas usually aren’t as picky about what they eat, ...

2026-01-01T07:42:00+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…ww2t
_________________________

“Bigg’s orcas usually aren’t as picky about what they eat, but this little rudder-snapper won’t eat a thing his mom puts in front of him unless she cuts it into little yacht shapes." https://theneedling.com/2025/11/27/picky-orca-calf-wont-eat-rich-unless-cut-into-little-yacht-shapes/

“They didn’t always kayak from one room of their house to ...

2026-01-01T07:41:01+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…k883
_________________________

“They didn’t always kayak from one room of their house to another?” https://theneedling.com/2025/12/18/nation-just-kinda-assumed-pacific-northwest-always-lived-in-giant-puddle-like-that/

In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn ...

2026-01-01T07:38:53+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…7xnk
_________________________

In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn Canada into the 51st state, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney surprised Canadians and Washingtonians by declaring Washington Canada’s 11th Province: https://theneedling.com/2025/03/22/canada-makes-washington-11th-province/

Microsoft Implements Return to Work Somewhere Else Policy: ...

2025-08-16T05:24:05+02:00

Microsoft Implements Return to Work Somewhere Else Policy: https://theneedling.com/2025/07/18/microsoft-implements-return-to-work-somewhere-else-policy/

Bruce Harrell Endorsers Encouraged to Blink Twice If They Need ...

2025-06-24T07:21:45+02:00

Bruce Harrell Endorsers Encouraged to Blink Twice If They Need Help: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/26/bruce-harrell-endorsers-encouraged-to-blink-twice-if-they-need-help/

Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet: ...

2025-04-14T20:34:15+02:00

Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet: https://theneedling.com/2025/02/03/mother-earth-fired-for-being-dei-planet/