Nostr notes by 🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)

god dammit. I like their services... I feel like if any company ...

2026-06-06T21:10:48+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…p78v
_________________________

god dammit. I like their services...

I feel like if any company supports fascism, it should just be confiscated and handed to a random queer person.

Sure, a bunch of companies would go bankrupt (because most of us don't know how to run a business), but I feel like the companies would learn really quickly not to support fascism.

Well, making a stencil and spraying inside it turned out meh, so ...

2026-06-05T00:51:32+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…55ec
_________________________

Well, making a stencil and spraying inside it turned out meh, so now I'm going to cut out the bunnies in painter's tape and spray a pink glitter halo around them, so that the bunnies are white negative space.

Dammit Jim! I'm a lockpicker, not an artist.

Getting ready for the conference this weekend! After the hinges ...

2026-06-03T18:52:55+02:00

Getting ready for the conference this weekend!

After the hinges on the challenge boxes I was making turned out to be too fiddly, I decided to come up with a different design...behold, the locksport challenge tube!

7" of hands-on, fun-filled, pipe—just begging to be popped by a bunch of eager new lockpickers!

Each tube will be stuffed with a combination of candy, anti-ICE whistles, and lockpick starter sets.

#Locksport #Lockpicking #DIY #Challenge

Supposedly these Flock cameras can be parted out for like $200. I ...

2026-06-02T22:35:43+02:00

Supposedly these Flock cameras can be parted out for like $200. I wonder if that's what happened to this one?

https://deflock.org/

#Flock #ALPR #AccidentalActivism

lol, I was specifically subtooting about Mensa 😋 I spent like ...

2026-05-22T19:52:45+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…sh8a
_________________________

lol, I was specifically subtooting about Mensa 😋

I spent like a week as a member...and it was awful.

A few days in, I was so done, but a male friend was like "it just takes a while for these guys to warm up to you", so I gave it a few more days before kinda blowing up at all the misogynistic dicks and then leaving.

Nostr event nevent1qqstjd0q8q5yj7jsvg6a5ukcmga6e3sxzg7gh43vqhwr7s4z9f4pj5gzyrc8dh7cnuj9hla335zvxglmnkeqg3906uygutphd9dscat32xnuv44cumm

2026-05-22T09:20:17+02:00

The more exclusive the club, the happier I am to be excluded from it.

I used to avoid them like the plague, but now my local store ...

2026-05-16T08:58:35+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…ndss
_________________________

I used to avoid them like the plague, but now my local store basically offers a 1-2 minute wait for self-checkout, or like a 10 minute wait for one of their two cashier lanes. I hate it and still opt for the human as often as I can.

Self-checkout kiosks should allow tipping. I've done such a ...

2026-05-16T07:59:50+02:00

Self-checkout kiosks should allow tipping.

I've done such a good job ringing up all my own groceries that I think I deserve a 20% tip.

in my experience, as someone who has blue hair (and who has a lot ...

2026-05-12T02:47:46+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…ehyz
_________________________

in my experience, as someone who has blue hair (and who has a lot of female friends with dyed hair), no one dyes their hair an unnatural color to *not* get noticed. That doesn't mean we're all receptive to any attempt at flirting, but I think all of us appreciate a genuine compliment with no expectations attached.

64 Islands Aroha Cooperative (npub1tvu…z8l5) Large Format Projectionist (npub1gyz…543y)

it's true. When someone gives me a good compliment on ...

2026-05-11T23:47:33+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…mlzs
_________________________

it's true. When someone gives me a good compliment on something I put effort into, it often makes my whole day 🥰

Large Format Projectionist (npub1gyz…543y)

Credentials: am always somewhere between friendly and flirty, and ...

2026-05-11T23:05:31+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…ylwd
_________________________

Credentials: am always somewhere between friendly and flirty, and love giving (and getting) good compliments.

Testimonial: Last week I explained this to a nice woman who said she didn't know how to flirt. A couple days later, she texted me that she tried it at a party over the weekend and ended up having sex with someone. (I can't tell you that it had anything to do with my advice, or that your experience will be similar, but it's a thing that happened)

#PSA: #Flirting is like playing #Jenga, and a lot of people ...

2026-05-11T22:45:27+02:00

#PSA: #Flirting is like playing #Jenga, and a lot of people don't know how to play Jenga either.

If you're not familiar with Jenga, here's my description: Jenga is a *cooperative*, turn-based game, in which you and one or more willing partners attempt to build anticipation until someone gets too flustered and spills the pieces.

The win condition is:"How long can we maintain that state *just* before the tower falls—when everyone is on the edge of their seats, leaning in, wide-eyed and holding their breath?"

The game is played by taking turns poking around for a good piece and then making a move. Each move raises the stakes *just a little bit*. As tension builds, everyone gets more involved in the game, and when the tower finally topples—regardless of who knocked it over—it should be exciting, fun for everyone, and involve positive aftercare; that's what makes people happy they played with you (and want to play another round).

Some mistakes I see people making when they play:

- forcing the game; not everyone wants to play with you—respect that.

- making "big dick" moves to speed the game up; sure, you *can* make an early goblin move that'll destabilize the tower in the hopes of a quick topple, but if your only goal is to spill blocks, it's better if you just play with yourself at home.

- trying to get the other person to lose; there are plenty of sneaky ways to make the other person more likely to knock the tower over—don't use them—folx won't want to play with you.

- dragging out your turn because you're too afraid to "lose"; it's not as bad as you fear, and if you knock the tower down, as long as y'all're having fun playing, there's nothing stopping you from picking right back up and starting another round.

---

Some mistakes I see people making when they flirt (or engage in any social interaction):

- forcing the interaction; not everyone is open to that kind of attention—respect that.

- making "big dick" moves to speed the game up; sure, you can open with a dick pic or a wolf-whistle, but if your goal is to flirt *at* someone, it's better if you just play with yourself at home.

- trying to get the other person to lose; there are plenty of sneaky ways to make the other person more likely to sleep with you—don't use them—that's coercion at best, and quite possibly sexual assault.

- dragging out your turn because you're too afraid to "lose"; it's not as bad as you fear. If you're genuine, and playing because you want the *other* person to have fun, then most folx will be flattered you made that effort, even if they're not interested in playing a full round.

---

"How do I let someone know I want to play with them?"

> Try complimenting them on something they *put effort into*—"Those are amazing earrings!"

"How do I do that without feeling creepy?"

> Smile, say it, and disengage. If they're receptive, they'll engage you.

"How do I know what to say?"

> Most people are pretty interesting, and most people who want to be interacted with will put out bids for interaction, so look for cues. Are they wearing a cool t-shirt? Is their hair dyed? Have they smiled at you more than once (and you're not a customer)?

"Yeah, but really, how do I know what to say?"

> The game is played by taking turns poking around for a good piece and then making a move. Each move raises the stakes *just a little bit*. When they take a turn, they'll often leave an opening just for you. If they don't, they might also be bad a Jenga, or they're not really into playing with you right now.

"Can you give me examples?"

> Sure.

You're in line at a grocery store, and there's a cute person in line next to you, so you wait until *one* of you is leaving the line. "Your hair is amazing; I love that color blue 😊", then you go back to what you were doing. If they want to play, they'll say something like "thanks, I just dyed it! 🩵" and then wait for you to take your turn again; if they don't want to play, they might just say "thanks" and disengage. If it's your turn again, you might respond "did you have it professionally done? I've been meaning to redye mine 😅" Now it's their turn to respond.

Of course your turns will look different, but each one should take a cue from your partner, and also volunteer a possible move for them to make on their turn.

"My games keep fizzling out, how do I keep them lively?"

> Look for their cues, and leave your own cues for them. Co-op games are about helping your teammates so you can all have the most fun, and *anyone* feels awkward when they don't know what they should do on their turn, so don't leave them hanging.

"How do I let someone know I'd like to play again sometime?"

> Tell them. "I really enjoyed talking to you 😊 and I'd like to do it again if you're interested. Can I give you my Mastodon handle?". If they look confused, just say you're a friend of 🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄) (npub17pm…kws7); that'll probably work.

#Dating #Socializing #Anxiety

LMAO, while out walking the lake with my girlfriend, some ...

2026-05-06T05:23:40+02:00

LMAO, while out walking the lake with my girlfriend, some neckbeard commented on the "soy boy" to his friends while pointing at me 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

First, "soy boy"? What fucking year is this??

Second, Seattle, I have higher expectations of you; if this were Idaho, I'd expect shitweasel sightings out by the lake.

Third, I did have sushi for lunch *and* dinner today, so I suppose I am pretty full of soy sauce right now 🤷🏼‍♀️

I recently saw a big Hispanic man and his girlfriend, unloading ...

2026-04-25T00:01:16+02:00

I recently saw a big Hispanic man and his girlfriend, unloading taco supplies from this dumpster, for his dad's taco shop.

I'm not sure what level of cognitive dissonance resistance you need to drive one of these :TeslaFire: WankTanks™ while being an immigrant, but I'd guess it's quite high.

In other news: "I never thought they'd eat *my* face!" exclaims woman who voted for Leopards Eating People's Faces party.

the problem is that they take regardless. So give them poison ...

2026-04-17T18:17:51+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…p7cx
_________________________

the problem is that they *take* regardless. So give them poison freely.

This came up because my girlfriend and I were using a strap-on, ...

2026-04-13T23:07:35+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…atkv
_________________________

This came up because my girlfriend and I were using a strap-on, and afterwards were talking about it. Neither I, nor my girlfriend had ever been with a guy who had worn one with us, and neither of us had worn one for a guy, but we've both worn them for each other.

Penis-owning cishet men, have you ever used a strap-on? ...

2026-04-13T23:02:41+02:00

**Penis-owning cishet men**, have you ever used a strap-on?

(note: if this poll doesn't apply to you, then please wait for the next one that does—I'm trying to answer a very specific question)

#Poll #Cis #Heterosexual #Men #Masculinity

"you are impressively talented", "you are an amazing ...

2026-04-08T02:55:35+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…hgke
_________________________

"you are impressively talented", "you are an amazing dancer", "I'm humbled to share a stage with someone who puts in so much effort".

Say it lightly, around other people, and then continue whatever else you were doing and let them decide whether or how to take your compliment. If they chase you up to say thanks, then you did good. If they don't, then you said something kind and that's all there is to it.

I hear a lot of guys saying things like "I don't know how to compliment a woman", and my best answer is that you do it without expecting anything in return. Most people can tell when a compliment is genuine and when it's manipulative.

Irene Zhang (npub1uvk…cjyf) Blain Smith (npub1gwx…nfxe) Richard @RBPhotographic (npub19c5…nw6t)

Car just drove by and one of the guys in it made the 🐈👅 ...

2026-04-06T23:37:40+02:00

Car just drove by and one of the guys in it made the 🐈👅 gesture out the window at me.

Not sure if it was an observation based on my aesthetic, or the threat of a 🐰good time🐰, but either way...guys, this is why y'all're still single.

yes, in fact, many are inoperable, some are operable—but ...

2026-04-06T18:00:22+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…qmuu
_________________________

yes, in fact, many are inoperable, some are operable—but barely, and some are in remarkable shape.

I often work oil through them to make them work better. Sometimes use degreaser, an ultrasonic cleaner, WD-40, wire brushes, etc.

148 days to go... """ Google announced that as of ...

2026-04-06T06:02:10+02:00

148 days to go...

"""
Google announced that as of September 2026, it will no longer be possible to develop apps for the Android platform without first registering centrally with Google.

This registration will involve:

- Paying a fee to Google
- Agreeing to Google’s Terms and Conditions
- Providing government identification
- Uploading evidence of the developer’s private signing key
- Listing all current and future application identifiers
"""

https://keepandroidopen.org/

#FuckGoogle #KeepAndroidOpen

Stopped at Old Portland vintage hardware, left with four new ...

2026-04-06T00:49:12+02:00

Stopped at Old Portland vintage hardware, left with four new antique locks! 😍

From top to bottom:
- warded or lever lock (not sure which yet)
- lever lock (needs TLC to unstick shackle)
- 3-digit combo lock (with indirect mechanism)
- disc-tumbler lock (likely 4-5 discs)

#AlicePics #Locksport #Vintage #Antique #Locks

both.

2026-04-04T21:47:22+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…a8yj
_________________________

both.

Much like ACAB, even "good" corporations are still ...

2026-04-02T19:03:24+02:00

Much like ACAB, even "good" corporations are still fucking corporations.

Brand loyalty is a parasocial relationship.

Lockpicking Lawyer: *posts a video about getting into his ...

2026-04-01T23:31:37+02:00

Lockpicking Lawyer: *posts a video about getting into his wife's furry fanny*

Me: Hold my "Easy Entry" lock lube...

The lock: 😳

---

For those interested: this is the "Dinner Jacket" jiggler from Red Team Tools, being pounded by the "Lapis" two-way dildo from Lovense, with smooth insertion (into a tight keyway) provided by "Easy Entry" Teflon lock lube.

#AlicePics #RedTeamTools #AprilFools #Locksport #Teledildonics #AccessibilityIsHotAF #AltText

Nostr event nevent1qqsfp243qge8p4gnjrvp4xlmtp7qe40f7zgme5r45m2mf44ya7lkz0gzyrc8dh7cnuj9hla335zvxglmnkeqg3906uygutphd9dscat32xnuv06lk3g

2026-04-01T02:07:42+02:00

Normalize bullying WankTanks :TeslaFire:

coming from someone as pretty as you, that's a hell of a ...

2026-03-31T08:21:23+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…y60l
_________________________

coming from someone as pretty as you, that's a hell of a compliment 🥰 thank you!

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you're ...

2026-03-31T06:18:14+02:00

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you're yelling at a person on Fedi for not using #AltText, stop. Please.

Should you use alt-text? Yes!

Should you boost posts without alt-text? No!

Should you yell at companies and bots who don't use alt-text? Fuck yeah!

Should you try your best to make Fedi a more accessible, and safe place for everyone—including those who have trouble writing alt-text? Of course.

Should you mention Altbot (npub12dn…0hjt) or #Alt4Me *occasionally* so folx know they're both wonderful tools that can help make Fedi a more inclusive place? It would be impolite not to.

But—and let me make this clear—don't be a dick to folx who forget alt-text, or who have trouble writing it for whatever reason; it's not very punk of you.

Wow, whenever I stray off the Fedi path and end up on other ...

2026-03-31T01:33:48+02:00

Wow, whenever I stray off the Fedi path and end up on other social media, I'm reminded how wholesome y'all are! 🥰

When I post here, I only get the occasional reply guy, troll KYSses, or slightly inappropriate comment.

Out there I see some of the most repugnant shit.

I like it here much better.

I don't own any, but now I feel like I should go get one just ...

2026-03-30T20:06:14+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…99az
_________________________

I don't own any, but now I feel like I should go get one just so I can pick a lock with an Alice band.

So far, I have opened a lock (at least once) with: - all manners ...

2026-03-30T19:58:39+02:00

So far, I have opened a lock (at least once) with:

- all manners of lockpicks and turning tools
- a turning tool (no pick)
- a windshield wiper
- a street sweeper bristle
- a vibrator
- a double-ended dildo
- a soda can
- a plastic soda bottle
- my finger
- a screwdriver
- another lock
- a key
- another lock's key
- a blank key and a small file
- an underwire bra
- an earring
- a popcan tab
- a stick
- an uncooked spaghetti noodle
- a holy cross
- a feeler gauge
- a bike spoke
- a piano wire
- an injector mold pin
- a bobby pin
- a paperclip
- a binder clip
- a credit card
- a piece of string
- a butter knife
- a bic pen

...

I'm probably forgetting a few.

#Locksport #DIY #ImprovIsPunkAF

It's true! In (low quality) fact, a single uncooked spaghetti ...

2026-03-30T19:23:28+02:00

It's true!

In (low quality) fact, a single uncooked spaghetti noodle is good for up to three locks!

Low Quality Facts (npub18rv…74cc) https://mstdn.social/@lowqualityfacts/116310533771748568

#AlicePics #Locksport #Pasta #Challenge

Nostr event nevent1qqsxu03dk5e7xfedf73ama8ax3hytyu63q8j0zwth6f4cdvkzkg5xgszyrc8dh7cnuj9hla335zvxglmnkeqg3906uygutphd9dscat32xnuvgf9s4c

2026-03-29T06:45:24+02:00

Pet the cat?

"Would you rather meet a man or a bear alone in the ...

2026-03-26T02:37:26+01:00

"Would you rather meet a man or a bear alone in the woods?"

Depends. What's the bear wearing?

"Nothing...it's a bear."

Ah, okay. Has it been drinking?

OMG I'm fucking dying here — who designed this house?? 🤣 ...

2026-03-25T07:07:45+01:00

OMG I'm fucking dying here — who designed this house?? 🤣

Apparently it's ‘Ferrotopia’, NDSM, Amsterdam (NL) https://www.ateliervanlieshout.com/exhibitions/

Maybe don't call your shoe the "predator", but if you ...

2026-03-25T06:59:14+01:00

Maybe don't call your shoe the "predator", but if you do, don't carry it in child sizes...

49 more love locks yesterday! Which means over 500 in my ...

2026-03-23T22:04:34+01:00

49 more love locks yesterday!

Which means over 500 in my collection now!

Which means over half way to the goal!

---

InB4 "Why do you steal love locks?"

1. The city considers them graffiti and abandoned property.

2. They cause damage to structures.

3. They rust away and become a hazard.

4. The city destroys them.

5. They're my friends, and I love them.

6. They're all going into a big museum art installation as a celebration of love and locksport.

#AlicePics #Locksport #Love #Locks

check out the hashtag, there's a lot there. I teach at ...

2026-03-22T16:46:26+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…vnt2
_________________________

check out the hashtag, there's a lot there.

I teach at conferences (when they ask me to), and I'm happy to give private lessons for folx in the Seattle area.

#LearnLockpickingWithAlice lesson 11 (part two): DIY padlock ...

2026-03-22T07:54:21+01:00

#LearnLockpickingWithAlice lesson 11 (part two): DIY padlock shims!

Who wants to spend a $5 on fancy padlock shims, when you can make shitty ones for the price of a soda can (and maybe a finger or two)?

Today, I'm going to teach y'all how to turn a soda can into like 6 disposable padlock shims.

⚠️ Soda cans are razor sharp on the cut edges, please be careful; your fingers will thank you 🫶

1. To start, get yourself an empty can of soda, beer, energy drink, etc.

2. Using some scissors you don't care about, cut the top and bottom off along the bevel. You should now have a tube that is open at both ends.

3. Cut the tube down one side and flatten it out into a rectangle, then cut it into 2.5" x 1" strips.

4. Take a strip and (with a marker) divide it into a 4x4 grid.

5. Then cut an "M" shape out of the bottom half of the 2.5" x 1" rectangle.

6. Fold the top ¼ of the rectangle down.

7. Fold the legs of the "M" up and over the top on each side.

8. Shape the shim around a lock shackle.

9. Shim something.

#AlicePics #DIY #Locksport #BypassTechniques #AltText

Ever had like 20 projects you want to do, so you end up spending ...

2026-03-21T03:07:27+01:00

Ever had like 20 projects you want to do, so you end up spending the whole day posting shit on Fedi instead?

Asking for, uh, no reason 😅

Spend 3 hours writing and filming for lockpicking post? 12 likes. ...

2026-03-21T01:48:54+01:00

Spend 3 hours writing and filming for lockpicking post? 12 likes.

Spend 6 seconds saying "Goodnight Fedi 🩵"? 120 likes.

💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Some padlocks can't be decoded even if you wanted to. Though ...

2026-03-21T01:21:28+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…y0v9
_________________________

Some padlocks can't be decoded even if you wanted to.

Though sometimes you can just poke it in the right spot and it'll pop faster than you could enter the combo (just don't use your favorite lockpick) 😋

#LearnLockpickingWithAlice lesson 11: Shimming shit ('cause ...

2026-03-21T00:56:38+01:00

#LearnLockpickingWithAlice lesson 11: Shimming shit ('cause ain't nobody got time for dial locks).

Plenty of old or cheap locks can be shimmed, but the place this technique shines most is with those front-dial combination locks. Sure, you can look up the model number, find some arcane YouTube video, and spend 30 minutes decoding it (both the video *and* the lock)...

...or you can do a little shimming fuckery and have it open in seconds.

To shim a lock, you'll need two things: a shimmable lock, and something to shim it with.

So how do I tell if a lock is able to be shimmed? Well, there are three main types of locking mechanisms on padlocks: ballbearing, spring-loaded, and warded (which you can see an example of in lesson 10). We want the spring-loaded kind.

The easy way to tell the spring-loaded ones from the ballbearing is that the cutouts in the shackle will look like either an upside-down "7" or a "]" for the pawl, instead of a ")" which indicates a ball-bearing lock. This matters because if the only thing keeping the locking pawl (that little metal bit that grabs the shackle's cutout) in place is a stiff spring, then the only thing between us and opening the lock is reaching it.

How do we reach that pawl? With a little piece of metal called a padlock shim. They look like a little mouth with a blep 👅 at the bottom—and like A Christmas Story, we want to get it right up against that pole.

How to shim a padlock:
- Insert the shim with the tongue facing away from the mechanism (toward the outside).
- Pinch the wings so it hugs the shackle.
- Push it down as far as it will go.
- Rotate/work it toward the inside of the lock while keeping pressure on it.
- Wiggle and press down on the shackle a bit to help it slide in.

Once it’s in:
- Hold the shim in place.
- Give the shackle a firm yank—and probably send your shim flying.

"Wtf, Alice, it didn't work?! How could you lie to me?"

Okay, slow down. There are a few reasons for that.

First, the mechanism might be on the other side of the shackle—or even on both sides.

If it's still not working, the shim either isn’t deep enough, isn’t long enough, or the lock isn’t spring-loaded.

Additionally, some locks are *technically* shimmable, but the clearance around the shackle is too narrow to fit a shim in. In this case, a thinner shim, or a narrow pokey piece of metal might still work.

Finally, this lesson wouldn't be complete without mentioning that padlock shims are a disposable resource. They *will* break—sometimes after only a couple uses. If you're lucky, they'll last for dozens of attempts though.

Which leads me to my friend, Deviant Ollam (npub1ly0…d6he), who is well-known for making shims out of soda or beer cans. These shims are fragile, but they'll work in a pinch and only take a moment to make. If you're good, you can even tear a can into a close enough shape for the job—just be careful, those fuckers are *sharp*.

#Locksport #Bypass #Shimming

I've been thinking about new #LearnLockpickingWithAlice ...

2026-03-20T21:33:03+01:00

I've been thinking about new #LearnLockpickingWithAlice lessons, and I think I can easily write up ones on the following:
- shimming
- different lock varieties
* tubular
* warded
* disc-detainer
* lever
- combo lock bypasses
- handcuffs

I might write up the shimming one today and shoot some videos for it.

The goal is to make corporate data less profitable. Even stuff as ...

2026-03-20T07:30:16+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…nwc0
_________________________

The goal is to make corporate data less profitable.

Even stuff as simple as setting your birthdate to 1970-01-01 everywhere, adding [TEST] or [DELETED] as your name or account notes anywhere you don't need them to know your name.

Using plugins like AdNauseam to poison ad trackers (and cost them marketing dollars).

Using VPNs set to different locations.

Signing into data broker sites to "correct" outdated info (they'll often let you do that with little-to-no proof of identity, but will require your passport or state ID in order to delete your info). Bonus points if you correct it to someone else's info on their site that's similar to yours.

Only fill in required fields when you sign up for anything, but only provide correct info if it matters for you to use the service, otherwise provide plausible, but incorrect, data.

If you use LLMs anywhere, use the free tier and always vote thumbs up for bad answers and down for good ones. It wastes their resources and drives up their costs while making their training data worse.

Nostr event nevent1qqs8sx9j7cjzgfscp759kvrk7n5st6xh0mly0qaf7akm4j6dwncns4gzyrc8dh7cnuj9hla335zvxglmnkeqg3906uygutphd9dscat32xnuvndfxfw

2026-03-20T07:15:32+01:00

👏 Poison 👏 your 👏 data ☠️

maybe I should've handwritten the reply for emphasis 😋

2026-03-17T23:13:29+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…3ev4
_________________________

maybe I should've handwritten the reply for emphasis 😋

there appear to be quite a few. @npub14kx…urew ...

2026-03-17T22:10:08+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…4ncl
_________________________

there appear to be quite a few.

Fedilab Apps (npub14kx…urew) [@PawFed](https://pawfed.org )

@npub18rv…74cc I feel so special! ...

2026-03-17T16:46:11+01:00

Low Quality Facts (npub18rv…74cc) I feel so special!

I am thrilled to announce that I am actively engaging in ...

2026-03-17T15:54:14+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…4hsz
_________________________

I am thrilled to announce that I am actively engaging in high-impact, tactile interactions with miniature nasal interfaces to drive joy and foster meaningful connections. #Leadership #Innovation #Networking #BestPractices

Any business aiding domestic terrorism (ICE) should have their ...

2026-03-16T21:55:46+01:00

Any business aiding domestic terrorism (ICE) should have their stock prices wrecked. #FuckDelta and #FuckICE

tools for commensality 🧿 (npub1aq0…mq9f) https://assemblag.es/@inquiline/116240213789312967

Speaking of fit-checks. #AlicePics #Suggestive #BlackAndWhite ...

2026-03-14T07:20:30+01:00

Speaking of fit-checks.

#AlicePics #Suggestive #BlackAndWhite #Photography #AccessibilityIsHotAF #AltText

Goth club fit check for tomorrow night's dancing. #AlicePics ...

2026-03-14T05:44:51+01:00

Goth club fit check for tomorrow night's dancing.

#AlicePics #Goth #FitCheck

I love my ad-blockers 🥰 Proton¹ VPN blocks most of the ads I ...

2026-03-13T20:49:38+01:00

I love my ad-blockers 🥰

Proton¹ VPN blocks most of the ads I get served, and the ones that get through are caught by AdNauseam² (which silently clicks ads in the background, costing marketing $ and poisoning metrics).

I've wasted $800+ of marketing budget³ in the last few months—for ads I never saw.

Fuck you in particular, Amazon.

Edit:

Reply-guy credentials: I've been the CDO and head of business analytics at several tech companies, and I have at least some idea how my job works.

¹ Yes, Proton has some serious issues, but I still think it works better than most other solutions when you factor in the ease of setup & operation across multiple products.

² Ad Nauseam uses uBlock Origin.

³ It wastes the company's marketing budget (high- click-through, zero sales), which lowers how much advertising platforms can charge for their services, which hurts those platforms too in the long run.

★ If your reply boils down to "it's useless to do anything, because ____", then 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don't know what to fucking tell ya; roll over.

Omg! It's like Hallmark Christmas movie snowing outside! ...

2026-03-13T17:11:24+01:00

Omg! It's like Hallmark Christmas movie snowing outside! 🩵🩵

Nostr event nevent1qqst5m9lyuckqgpc3w0m5552ervdkas8sqzevlg0tzhl47g588dfw0gzyrc8dh7cnuj9hla335zvxglmnkeqg3906uygutphd9dscat32xnuvj8z3hr

2026-03-11T16:48:23+01:00

Good morning friends and Fedizens! 💕

I put all my #CAPTCHAlice questions and answers in one place so ...

2026-03-11T02:26:03+01:00

I put all my #CAPTCHAlice questions and answers in one place so folx can read them.

https://codeberg.org/alicewatson/captchalice

Don't mind me; I'm just going to lie here and die of ...

2026-03-10T19:24:47+01:00

Don't mind me; I'm just going to lie here and die of preventable causes, because the alternative requires making a phone call.

I finally broke down and got new glasses today! My old ones broke ...

2026-03-10T03:53:47+01:00

I finally broke down and got new glasses today!

My old ones broke like a year ago, and the prescription was like 100 years old anyway—plus I haven't had money to spare¹ for new ones.

¹ I still don't have money to spare, but I have enough for medical stuff and glasses for the moment; thank you Fedi :neocat_heart:

There comes a time in every boob-owner's life where your left ...

2026-03-09T20:23:57+01:00

There comes a time in every boob-owner's life where your left nipple itches for no apparent reason.

This is that time.

Update: got it.

Update: nope, it's back.

Hey Fedi! Despite my best efforts, I'm a flawed person, like ...

2026-03-09T19:59:07+01:00

Hey Fedi!

Despite my best efforts, I'm a flawed person, like any other.

Just something to keep in mind.

I (almost) always toot publicly, because I think sunlight is one of the best disinfectants. So, if you see me make a mistake, such as boosting or saying something incorrect, or coming across like a jerk about something, please call me out (gently if possible 😅), so I can do better.

I watched a video last night about out of touch celebrities, and while I only have a tiny fraction of their reach, I think it's good to remind myself about the dangers of thinking that people's interest in my opinions correlates in any way with their truthiness.

I just beat the Guinness world record for speed-picking by 4 ...

2026-03-05T03:20:13+01:00

I just beat the Guinness world record for speed-picking by 4 seconds!

Single-pin-picking, 8 differently-keyed, 4-pin, standard¹ padlocks, in 56 seconds.

And I did it while wearing a fluffy bear suit.

¹ the current record holder used laminated Master locks with no security pins, but I didn't want all the comments on my video to be "Master lock sucks" jokes, so I used Brinks instead.

#AlicePics #Locksport #Lockpicking #GuinnessWorldRecord

Hi there and thanks for the follow request, @npub10th…hmfk! ...

2026-03-03T22:51:29+01:00

Hi there and thanks for the follow request, tinken (npub10th…hmfk)! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...

What's your favorite comfort food (or foods), and why?

I have two: chicken teriyaki and those frozen chicken pot pies. The both stem from my childhood. I grew up poor—not like "on the street" poor, but "we bought some nice shampoo once, and now we refill the bottle with bulk stuff, so it looks like we can afford nice shampoo" poor.

Anyway, I would get sick and stay home from school, but when I could keep food down again, my mom would spring for $7 chicken teriyaki from this little hole in the wall shop near where we lived, and I still associate it with feeling better.

The 99¢ pot pies were another kind of treat. Since I was a latchkey kid, I made food for myself (whatever was available in the cupboards or freezer). I ate a lot of toaster waffles and skimpy wonderbread sandwiches. But sometimes we'd get those pot pies when they were on sale, and I was (reluctantly) allowed to eat two at a time! So I associate them with being stuffed with a hot meal while I watched cartoons by myself.

Well fuck, this is the first #CAPTCHAlice that made me cry while answering my own question.

I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car ...

2026-02-27T00:39:52+01:00

I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.

Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.

Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋

A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅

Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.

A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.

A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.

A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.

Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".

and you know once they're making solid progress wiping out ...

2026-02-26T07:12:02+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…8vqp
_________________________

and you *know* once they're making solid progress wiping out trans folx and immigrants, they'll start into Black folx, women, and the rest of the queers.

#Trans folx in #Kansas given 1 day to surrender their (now ...

2026-02-26T07:08:21+01:00

#Trans folx in #Kansas given 1 day to surrender their (now invalid) IDs and driver's licenses to the state. As of tomorrow (Thursday), driving while trans is a class-B misdemeanor ($1000 fine and up to 6 months in jail).

The zero-grace-period execution means driving to turn in your license is a crime.

Oh yeah, this bill also enacted a bathroom bounty program allowing private individuals to sue trans folx for using the restroom.

https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/kansas-sends-letters-to-trans-people

https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/kansas-advancing-anti-trans-bill

#AntiTrans #Authoritarianism #FuckTrump #FuckRepublicans #ProtectTransFolx

A follow-on to my "Nazi Sucker-punch Problem" post, to ...

2026-02-25T10:23:20+01:00

A follow-on to my "Nazi Sucker-punch Problem" post, to address the most common argument I get, which boils down to:

"""
Moderated registration won't stop Nazis, because they'll just pretend to be human to fool moderators, but it will stop normal people, who won't spend the effort to answer the application question or want to wait for approval.
"""

Okay, I'm going to try to use points that I hope are pretty acceptable to anyone arguing in good faith, and I'm going to expand the definition of Nazis to "attackers" and lump in bigots, trolls, scammers, spammers, etc. who use similar tactics.

Attackers: we can group attackers into two main types: dedicated and opportunistic. Dedicated attackers have a target picked and a personal motive—they hunt. Opportunistic attackers have an inclination and will attack if a target presents itself—they're scavengers. In my years of experience as an admin on multiple Fedi servers, most attackers are opportunistic.

Victims: when someone is attacked, they (and people like them) will be less likely to return to the place they were attacked.

In general: without a motive to expend more effort, humans will typically make decisions that offer the best perceived effort-to-reward ratio in the short-term (the same is true of risk-to-reward).

Why does any of this matter?

Because it all comes down to a fairly simple equation for the attackers: effort > reward. If this is true, then the opportunistic attackers will go elsewhere. If it isn't true, then their victims will go elsewhere.

How can we tip that scale out of the attackers' favor?

By making sure moderation efforts scale faster against attackers' behaviors than against normal users' behaviors.

- A normal user only has to register once, while an attacker has to re-register every time they get suspended.

- A normal user proves their normality with each action they take, while every action an attacker takes risks exposing them to moderation.

- A new user / attacker likely spends a minute or two signing up, while a moderator can review most applications in a matter of seconds. Yes, attackers can automate signups to reduce that effort (and some do, and we have tools to address some of that, but again, most attackers aren't dedicated).

- Reviewing an application is lower effort than trying to fix the damage from an attack. As someone who gets targeted regularly by attackers from open-registration servers, I'd personally rather skim and reject a page-long AI-generated application, than spend another therapy session exploring the trauma of being sent execution videos.

I believe this points to moderated registration being the lowest effort remedy for the problem of the Nazi Sucker-punch. So before we "engineer a new solution" that doesn't yet exist, we should exhaust the tools that are already available on the platform today. Yes, we could implement rate limits, or shadow bans, or trust networks, or quarantine servers, but we don't have those today, and even if we did, there's no evidence that those would be a better solution for Fedi than moderated signups.

Will it stop *all* the attackers? No. But it will stop most opportunistic attackers.

Will it deter *some* potential new users? Yes. But communities are defined by who stays, not by how many come through the door.

https://lgbtqia.space/@alice/115499829288185416

I hate to say I've addressed all those points before, but ...

2026-02-25T00:43:03+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…dkr8
_________________________

I hate to say I've addressed all those points before, but I've addressed all those points before.

You're arguing against a different problem.

And I'll reiterate that if writing a sentence is too high a signup price for a dramatically healthier minority community here (and I *really* don't think it is), then perhaps a different social network would be better suited.

Fedi doesn't have to grow at all costs, that's what X, Facebook, Reddit, Discord, and all the others are for.

Dear mastodon.social transphobe, Fuck you 😘 ...

2026-02-15T00:29:32+01:00

Dear mastodon.social transphobe,
Fuck you 😘

I've seen one used as an impromptu ax at a skating rink. That ...

2026-02-14T03:05:33+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…r9fu
_________________________

I've seen one used as an impromptu ax at a skating rink.

That was a dark day.

Oof, I have seven follower requests in the queue from restricted ...

2026-02-14T02:49:47+01:00

Oof, I have seven follower requests in the queue from restricted servers, all waiting for me to think up new #CAPTCHAlice questions for them.

Any suggestions?

I always aim to make them:
- fun (not inviting negative responses)
- interesting (require a little thought / research)
- frivolous (not deeply personal or political)
- accessible (for folx from all walks of life)
- filtering (to sus out bots and trolls)
- something I can answer too

#AskFedi

if I ran a company, I'd offer two free days off for anyone ...

2026-02-11T18:44:41+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…q087
_________________________

if I ran a company, I'd offer two free days off for anyone getting a vaccine. One to get it, one to recover.

And it'd still be cheaper than the loss of productivity from multiple sick days across multiple people each year when just the flu sweeps through.

LisPi (npub1326…gzqx)

Ugh 😩 I met my new doctor today, had my yearly exam, and got ...

2026-02-11T09:53:42+01:00

Ugh 😩 I met my new doctor today, had my yearly exam, and got three vaccines. Now I feel like shit from the jabs, and lemme tell you...

I'd get them again in a fucking heartbeat, because science and social responsibility fucking rock 🤘

Hey @npub1q80…6rm7! Thanks for the follow request (and your ...

2026-02-04T22:37:39+01:00

Hey A Pittsburgh Dog (npub1q80…6rm7)! Thanks for the follow request (and your adorable puppers profile photo)! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...

What's your favorite type(s) of cheese¹?

I'm a big fan of several of the Swiss and Norwegian cheeses myself; just had some Jarlsberg on my sandwich a moment ago 🤤

¹ or, for the non-cheese crowd, "favorite type(s) of other non-cheese food that has notable types".

#CAPTCHAlice

Recently, I was thinking about why men¹ talk over women, and I ...

2026-02-04T09:13:13+01:00

Recently, I was thinking about why men¹ talk over women, and I think it's less a gender thing, and more of a...

"men¹ are taught to talk over anyone who doesn't talk more assertively than they do"

In my roles as an executive at several tech companies, the one negative feedback I got on almost every review was that I wasn't assertive enough in meetings with other execs. One male CEO even told me "you need to interrupt more, talk more—even if you don't know the answer. Otherwise they'll think you don't have anything to say". Which, honestly, churned my stomach.

The feedback was clear, if I wanted to succeed I needed to talk like the guys¹ in the boardroom—the same ones¹ who'd interrupt to ask a question I was already in the middle of explaining, who'd repeat a suggestion I'd just made—only louder, who'd make some cute comment that would derail my presentation, who'd explain my position back to me as though they'd just thought of it.

I needed to do that...and I needed to do it louder.

Otherwise men¹ weren't going to listen to me.

¹ not all men

thanks! My laptop, skateboard, and guitar are all covered in ...

2026-02-02T00:02:44+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…5cmn
_________________________

thanks! My laptop, skateboard, and guitar are all covered in queer/hacker/locksport/butcher stickers. I always liked the vibe of plastering cool stickers and patches all over your stuff.

Got a new sticker for my guitar! (it looks a little misprinted, ...

2026-02-01T23:42:27+01:00

Got a new sticker for my guitar!

(it looks a little misprinted, but that's because I took a quick—and fairly blurry—photo, then de-blurred it)

God, how do normal people even browse the internet anymore? ...

2026-01-27T19:21:42+01:00

God, how do normal people even browse the internet anymore?

sigh every time I switch contexts for more than a few posts I ...

2026-01-27T01:21:16+01:00

*sigh* every time I switch contexts for more than a few posts I end up doing a follower swap 😅

Activism posting mood? -6/+4 followers

Boosting political stuff? -2/+0

Sexy content day? -3/+5

Locksport stuff? -1/+1

Release the :TeslaFire: emoji? -20/+50

Get boosted by Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) (npub16kg…afn8)? -0/+8

Exist? -10/+11 per day

Also, just to put it put there, #SexWorkIsWork, there's no ...

2025-12-28T00:07:30+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…3sqn
_________________________

Also, just to put it put there, #SexWorkIsWork, there's no shame in it*, an no, I won't tone myself down or hide myself away to appease puritanical bullshit people.

*yes, there are a lot of issues surrounding sex-work, and yes, *all* those issues exist "because patriarchy".

At folx suggestion/request, I set up a GoFundMe in response to ...

2025-12-26T00:50:52+01:00

At folx suggestion/request, I set up a GoFundMe in response to BuyMeACoffee/Stripe banning me and stopping my payments.

According to BuyMeACoffee, they'll refund all my supporters within...a month. Fuck puritanical conservative capitalism and its "values".

Hopefully #GoFundMe will treat me better.

https://gofund.me/3ff7116d1

I contacted customer support and made an appeal. They very ...

2025-12-25T23:04:16+01:00

In reply to nevent1q…pcsa
_________________________

I contacted customer support and made an appeal. They very quickly responded that I'm permanently suspended from the platform because my *Mastodon* profile (🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄) (npub17pm…kws7)) associates me with ALT After Dark (npub1c52…9s0m).

So, that's that.

"""
... your account has been permanently deactivated due to a violation of the Terms of Use related to adult content. Please note that even if adult content is posted on other websites, it can still lead to account review and banning...
"""

I'll be looking for another way to accept tips (as it's kinda my lifeline); if you have any suggestions that *don't* involve platforms that'll ban me for posting some wholesome-ish adult content *on my own social media profile*, I'd live to hear them.

I just woke up this morning to an email saying my BuyMeACoffee ...

2025-12-25T20:11:10+01:00

I just woke up this morning to an email saying my BuyMeACoffee account was suspended for adult content.

Merry Christmas.

I'm going to appeal it. I've never taken payment for any adult content, nor have I posted any, or made reference to any on my BuyMeACoffee page.

Yay puritanical capitalism!

Hey #Tabletop #RPG folx! I have an #AskFedi for ya! GMs: What is ...

2025-12-23T22:19:10+01:00

Hey #Tabletop #RPG folx! I have an #AskFedi for ya!

GMs: What is your top tip for running good games (that *hasn't* been mentioned yet)?

Players: What's something your GM has done to make the game awesome that you wish more GMs would do (that *hasn't* been mentioned yet)?

---

I'll start (with one of each).

As a GM, I use the 3-act play / 5-room dungeon style as often as possible. It keeps things tight, makes for satisfying progression, and can be scaled to work for almost anything.

As a player, I was shocked the first time a GM of mine rolled some dice and said "you hit, and it takes Blorp out of the fight, what does that look like?". Every GM I'd had previously would've just said "you kill Blorp". That one question has made playing characters *feel* so much more epic.

Downtown Seattle looks like a postcard. #AlicePics #Seattle ...

2025-10-20T19:02:12+02:00

Downtown Seattle looks like a postcard.

#AlicePics #Seattle #Waterfront #Photography

This is what antifa looks like. #NoKings #Seattle #FuckIce ...

2025-10-19T01:12:21+02:00

This is what antifa looks like.

#NoKings #Seattle #FuckIce #FuckTrump

"both sides" only works when the other side isn't a ...

2025-10-06T22:47:19+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…6d9x
_________________________

"both sides" only works when the other side isn't a group of genocidal fuckwits.

I can't believe let it get to a state where these wannabe Nazis weren't run out of town at first salute.

Better late than never I suppose 💁🏼‍♀️

Any cool cishet guys out there for me to follow? My mutuals are ...

2025-09-28T20:33:11+02:00

Any cool cishet guys out there for me to follow? My mutuals are like 98% queer folx, and I believe in DEI.

Hey y'all, mutual aid request: A young trans woman was ...

2025-09-16T16:35:57+02:00

Hey y'all, mutual aid request: A young trans woman was attacked and hospitalized recently in Seattle.

The bad news: she was left with severe brain trauma.

The good news: she's been receiving a lot of community support in her recovery (230 people so far).

If you can, please help her cover related expenses.

Thank you.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-a-trans-survivor-heal-after-a-violent-hate-crime

#MutualAid #LGBTQ #Trans #HateCrime #GoFundMe

now there's a fringe kink.

2025-09-12T21:19:50+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…0w9q
_________________________

now there's a fringe kink.

Me wishing meatspace folks were more like Fedi folx. Sometimes, ...

2025-09-12T21:14:55+02:00

Me wishing meatspace folks were more like Fedi folx.

Sometimes, when I step outside, I'm surprised that half the people I see *aren't* transfemme furries.

I haven't done one of these in a while, so here goes! Hey ...

2025-09-08T23:15:31+02:00

I haven't done one of these in a while, so here goes!

Hey #Women, #LGBTQ+ and #BIPoC folx! Are you an expert in something? Do you have a fancy degree or a lot of experience in some field/hobby? Do you like to infodump about it? Then out yourself in the replies below!

I'll start. Hi 👋 I'm Alice. I'm multi-queer (pan/bisexual and nonbinary). I'm an expert lockpicker and data scientist, and I have an education in computer science, psychology, and statistics.

Your turn 😊

#FollowFriday #AMA

Fuck every EV charger that requires an app to use. Just give me a ...

2025-09-04T03:31:25+02:00

Fuck every EV charger that requires an app to use. Just give me a goddamned credit card reader.

This is the *second* station we've stopped at today that required yet *another* app install and registration—only to have the fucking thing not work.

(Alice is ticked off)

#EVs #ChargingFail #FuckCapitalism #Enshittification

#PSA time: #bisexual people are still bisexual... - if ...

2025-08-22T02:02:04+02:00

#PSA time: #bisexual people are still bisexual...

- if they're dating men
- if they're dating women
- if they're dating nonbinary folx
- if they're not dating anyone
- if they're dating a loaf of garlic bread

Their bisexuality is an intrinsic part of them; it is *not* defined by their partner(s) or lack thereof.

We're not "too gay" or "too straight" or "confused" or "playing the field" or "in a phase".

#LGBTQ

"Who the Fuck is Alice?" is a song that gets brought up ...

2025-08-11T02:34:38+02:00

"Who the Fuck is Alice?" is a song that gets brought up around me *a lot* (particularly when being introduced to someone).

I once dated a woman named Eileen, and guys would sing "Come On Eileen" at her.

I knew a Jenny when I was younger, and *everyone* sang "8675309" at her.

Who else has a (perhaps unfortunate) reference to their name? Maybe everyone can get it out of their system in the comments and we can all just point them here in the future.

#NomDeFume #Names #IGotThatReference

Nostr event nevent1qqsf8gfrp2tqk8m3dhqar27h58v7zhusa5txfsku626sgx7qwv3ccsgzyrc8dh7cnuj9hla335zvxglmnkeqg3906uygutphd9dscat32xnuvj3encl

2025-08-05T17:13:05+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…j6gc
_________________________

the pizza is sex. I'll let you decode the rest 😉 ...

2025-08-05T09:37:59+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…wduq
_________________________

the pizza is sex. I'll let you decode the rest 😉

Rupert 🇪🇺🏴‍☠️😾🔭📷🍺🍪🌍🔥 (npub1ukz…3mw9)

💯 I'm actually surprised no one has been like "I get ...

2025-08-05T08:46:59+02:00

In reply to nevent1q…nktm
_________________________

💯

I'm actually surprised no one has been like "I get what pizza is, but what do the pineapple, tacos, and ice cream represent??"

Some days you're in the mood for pizza. Pizza is better with ...

2025-08-05T03:05:47+02:00

Some days you're in the mood for pizza.

Pizza is better with friends, so you invite a friend over and you have pizza together.

Turns out your friend is really excited about pizza, and they drop by the next day with a fresh pineapple, ready for some more pizza with you.

That weirds you out a bit, and you've had enough pizza for the time being, so you say you're not in the mood for it.

Your friend feels disappointed, maybe even rejected. They don't understand how you could turn down pizza.

You let them know you'd be happy to have something else, like tacos for instance, but they had their heart set on pizza and keep bringing it up. Perhaps they even get kinda mad—after all, "they brought a whole fucking pineapple over!"

You ask them to leave. Not because you don't like them, but because they weren't respecting you. You think "if they act like this over pizza, how would they act if you'd had something intimate together, like ice cream?"

#NotActuallyAboutPizza

You trim your beard. I rip out all my body hair to conform to ...

2025-07-30T01:48:29+02:00

You trim your beard.

I rip out all my body hair to conform to unrealistic feminine beauty standards.

We are not the same.