Nostr notes by Jonty Wareing

Apparently some EMF attendees are finding our emails counting ...

2026-07-01T20:31:41Z

Apparently some EMF attendees are finding our emails counting down to the event stressful and scientists are yet to invent equipment capable of detecting my violin

And we've not even announced the installations yet... ...

2026-06-27T14:39:34Z

In reply to nevent1q…q8gu
_________________________

And we've not even announced the installations yet...

Honestly, best strategy is to pick a small number of things you *really* want to see and then spend the rest of the time seeing where things take you.

Aim for talks that are not recorded, if those take your fancy - we can't guarantee anything definitely will be recorded because speakers change their minds and equipment gets destroyed by tesla coils, but it's rare for speakers to suddenly opt for recording at the last minute.

Are you coming to EMF? Are you a Big Space Nerd? Would you like ...

2026-06-20T14:34:06Z

Are you coming to EMF? Are you a Big Space Nerd? Would you like to operate a planetarium and enthuse about SPACE a lot to a willing audience?

Email us: content@emfcamp.org

This should be obvious but somehow here we are

2026-06-19T22:48:52Z

In reply to nevent1q…zmev
_________________________

This should be obvious but somehow here we are

It's quite simple: If you are an entitled asshole to our ...

2026-06-19T22:48:16Z

It's quite simple: If you are an entitled asshole to our volunteers they are less likely to go out of their way to help you.

Anyone want to buy an email sending company that can't send ...

2026-06-15T11:13:11Z

Anyone want to buy an email sending company that can't send emails

I really want a version of clippy that pops up with ...

2026-06-14T23:24:09Z

I really want a version of clippy that pops up with

One of my communities has a standard practise where members ...

2026-06-10T15:21:39Z

One of my communities has a standard practise where members request copies of any x-ray/MRI/CAT scans they have. So we can attempt to assemble one full human from all our scans combined.

It's only just occurred to me how weird this is.

Life goal: Get a plaque this good ...

2026-06-06T15:08:09Z

Life goal: Get a plaque this good

Got this stuck in my head and had to get it out. Just in case ...

2026-06-05T22:03:29Z

Got this stuck in my head and had to get it out. Just in case someone needs it.

Nostr event nevent1qqsytlelx7kr5y23znkavrtx0tgpe3gvrnugfjglv7jg5me23c3pqrgzyq7y7y796phdevxsmkz8jv5p8whagn4m0cu9zxt3nt09gmgr9lvuqdk6ka9

2026-06-05T15:35:15Z

Never upset the graphs department, they will plot against you

Because some people seem to be missing this. If you are attending ...

2026-06-05T14:07:50Z

Because some people seem to be missing this.

If you are attending Electromagnetic Field (npub1fak…rg6c) and want a Spaceagon, or to upgrade your Tildagon from 2024 to a Spaceagon:

YOU MUST PRE-ORDER IT NOW.

Full details in the blog post: https://blog.emfcamp.org/2026/05/28/tildagon-2026-spaceagon/

#emfcamp #emfcamp2026

The great thing about health wearables is that when you feel ...

2026-06-04T18:39:54Z

The great thing about health wearables is that when you feel terrible you can look at graphs to confirm that you do indeed feel terrible

The look on colleagues faces when I explain why I'm taking ...

2026-06-03T14:30:27Z

The look on colleagues faces when I explain why I'm taking two months off work is always priceless.

"How many people?!"

One of the EMF team leads just dialled into a meeting from a ...

2026-06-02T19:53:50Z

One of the EMF team leads just dialled into a meeting from a hospital bed after falling off a five story building trying to install a mesh network antenna. Unbelievable dedication to the cause.

Nostr event nevent1qqszexy5gu4fwfy8fk3lart725teg9yh0hpnp3yjy4tf84jyujzhe7szyq7y7y796phdevxsmkz8jv5p8whagn4m0cu9zxt3nt09gmgr9lvuq0upnsu

2026-06-01T18:59:46Z

I am very done with 2026 already

[deep sigh] After being let down again, I call upon the powers of ...

2026-05-27T17:53:20Z

[deep sigh] After being let down again, I call upon the powers of the network:

Does anybody have an inflatable planetarium they would be willing to bring (or lend) to Electromagnetic Field (npub1fak…rg6c)?

Absolutely flabbergasted at Last.fm finally being independent ...

2026-05-27T15:20:05Z

Absolutely flabbergasted at Last.fm finally being independent again after a decade of neglect by CBS. Incredibly exciting.

https://support.last.fm/t/last-fm-is-now-independent/118591

Dumbfounded by people I respected launching new things with ...

2026-05-26T23:33:25Z

Dumbfounded by people I respected launching new things with social links exclusively to X and Insta. Seriously. What are you doing.

I need to go to more gigs where the lead singer screams "THIS ...

2026-05-13T20:51:59Z

I need to go to more gigs where the lead singer screams "THIS SONG IS ABOUT CRIPPLING DEPRESSION" and then proceeds to destroy what remains of my eardrums. A+, no notes.

I don't really understand why we call them the prime ...

2026-05-12T21:59:21Z

I don't really understand why we call them the prime minister, you can divide them by any number. You just need to be prepared for the amount of blood and the prison sentence.

I have received email ...

2026-05-05T17:18:30Z

I have received email

My favourite bit about LLM system prompts is that they sound ...

2026-04-30T22:30:49Z

My favourite bit about LLM system prompts is that they sound exactly like a mother giving a stern talk to a kid before a social gathering.

"You will not mention uncle Gary's mole, and under no circumstances are you to talk about gremlins or trolls unless someone else brings it up first. Are we clear?"

I made a joke and now the village operating an on-site cable TV ...

2026-04-30T19:03:17Z

I made a joke and now the village operating an on-site cable TV network at Electromagnetic Field (npub1fak…rg6c) is running a QVC programme presenting objects from the junk swap shop that caused an orphan source incident.

Sentences that are very hard to explain to my family.

When you're small nobody tells you that you will inevitably ...

2026-04-24T11:18:03Z

When you're small nobody tells you that you will inevitably get older and develop an interest in birds

Should I be worried ...

2026-04-23T18:22:23Z

Should I be worried

Buns & Cyber, where everybody has a nice time baking

2026-04-21T12:12:35Z

In reply to nevent1q…n0l9
_________________________

Buns & Cyber, where everybody has a nice time baking

At that phase of "doing something quickly out of ...

2026-04-20T16:50:28Z

At that phase of "doing something quickly out of curiosity" where it is no longer quick, my curiosity turned to horror, and multiple friends have asked me to stop

Asked the EMF workshops team to figure out the optimal placement ...

2026-04-17T17:21:51Z

Asked the EMF workshops team to figure out the optimal placement of tables in workshop tents and got this in response

Sat opposite a man on the train with a cake carrier containing a ...

2026-04-16T22:31:00Z

Sat opposite a man on the train with a cake carrier containing a half eaten birthday cake.

Pulled into a station, another man got on with an identical cake carrier containing a half eaten birthday cake and sat next to him.

The first guy then got off... BUT I DIDN'T SEE IF THEY SWAPPED CAKES.

Anyway this is how I may have witnessed a spy cake handoff.

I don't know why people say vibecoding is new, teledildonics ...

2026-04-16T13:00:57Z

I don't know why people say vibecoding is new, teledildonics researchers have been doing it since the 90s

I contacted a company who stocks spares for UK payphones, asking ...

2026-03-31T10:41:19Z

In reply to nevent1q…vxej
_________________________

I contacted a company who stocks spares for UK payphones, asking them to send me a set of keys to try.

They replied with "That will not be possible" and the following photo.

If you're wondering how things are going, we just took ...

2026-03-29T11:26:24Z

If you're wondering how things are going, we just took ownership of an arcade cabinet running a DOOM mod where you battle mecha-spider Margaret Thatcher so

Anyway this is your prompt to reply with endless jokes about ...

2026-03-27T19:54:22Z

In reply to nevent1q…vxej
_________________________

Anyway this is your prompt to reply with endless jokes about answering after one ring

Do I have the keys? No. Can we pick the lock? Also no.

2026-03-27T19:51:36Z

In reply to nevent1q…3zg5
_________________________

Do I have the keys? No. Can we pick the lock? Also no.

It's mine, I tell you. My own. My precious. ...

2026-03-27T19:49:20Z

It's mine, I tell you. My own. My precious.

I don't know how we're expecting to make a Dyson Sphere, ...

2026-03-26T10:41:32Z

I don't know how we're expecting to make a Dyson Sphere, the guy can barely build a functioning vacuum cleaner

I resent that my first thought on seeing a headline about the ...

2026-03-25T17:57:36Z

I resent that my first thought on seeing a headline about the crab nebula was "oh god its some kind of openclaw video streaming thing"

Spotted by a friend in Hawaii ...

2026-03-25T11:42:42Z

Spotted by a friend in Hawaii

Someone buzzed our doorbell just to show us their bum ...

2026-03-10T13:40:51Z

Someone buzzed our doorbell just to show us their bum

Can't stop giggling at someone reviewing a toilet cistern ...

2026-03-08T14:02:56Z

Can't stop giggling at someone reviewing a toilet cistern connector and thinking the "customer image" upload was for a selfie

Extremely cursed adapter. Someone please ban my aliexpress ...

2026-03-03T14:50:52Z

Extremely cursed adapter. Someone please ban my aliexpress account.

has the famous email address dot@dotat.at

2026-03-01T22:30:32Z

In reply to nevent1q…urgk
_________________________

has the famous email address dot@dotat.at

Today a bunch of my open-source projects got slammed by incorrect ...

2026-03-01T12:40:44Z

Today a bunch of my open-source projects got slammed by incorrect AI-written vulnerability reports demanding $299 for disclosure

Five years ago I pointed out nearly all NFT's were going to ...

2026-02-16T11:34:20Z

Five years ago I pointed out nearly all NFT's were going to break when the startup who minted them goes bust, causing people to get *extremely* mad at me until everyone concluded that I was correct.

Thought I'd check in on the two examples I used and well

Is this because you have an antenna or a camera on the end of it

2026-02-15T00:43:14Z

In reply to nevent1q…ed9f
_________________________

Is this because you have an antenna or a camera on the end of it

Apologies to my neighbours for flying a drone at near midnight. ...

2026-02-15T00:37:45Z

Apologies to my neighbours for flying a drone at near midnight. In my defence, I wanted to try and see a big laser 5km away and their houses were in the way.

This is an act of cultural vandalism: https://zombo.com RIP ...

2026-02-08T10:46:28Z

This is an act of cultural vandalism: https://zombo.com

RIP zombocom, 1999-2026. You could do anything at zombocom.

Anything at all.

Did I really need this 10,000mah battery shaped like a pager ...

2026-02-06T15:16:07Z

Did I really need this 10,000mah battery shaped like a pager which can also *actually page other pager batteries*? No.

Do I have another pager battery to actually page? Also no.

The number of times I have been asked if I know any ...

2026-02-04T01:07:19Z

The number of times I have been asked if I know any "competent activists" recently is distressing for several reasons

Paging @npub160z…49wu to the two-accelerometers-one-tablet ...

2026-02-03T00:15:04Z

In reply to nevent1q…07ly
_________________________

Paging Andrew Godwin (npub160z…49wu) to the two-accelerometers-one-tablet aisle

All I want is a giant pile of funding to recover important lost ...

2026-02-01T17:31:05Z

All I want is a giant pile of funding to recover important lost websites and publish the information as useful open data

"How did that happen?" / "Well it shouldn't have ...

2026-01-24T20:04:33Z

In reply to nevent1q…5n7f
_________________________

"How did that happen?" / "Well it shouldn't have got on top of Cliff in the first place, he's a right grumpy bastard"

Today in headlines that sound like a joke set-up ...

2026-01-24T20:03:02Z

Today in headlines that sound like a joke set-up

Nostr event nevent1qqstu8h4rudgf69gz834q79r57pll6ewdylkenwlr6307606lsl2xgczyq7y7y796phdevxsmkz8jv5p8whagn4m0cu9zxt3nt09gmgr9lvuq4ugcax

2026-01-20T23:07:27Z

Important

Oh you think your Home Assistant install is cursed? A friend of ...

2026-01-06T20:28:48Z

Oh you think your Home Assistant install is cursed?

A friend of mine has a broken fridge thermostat. For the last year it has been regulated by Home Assistant using a zigbee temperature sensor, turning the entire fridge off and on with a smart plug. He likes this.

I wish to be friends with whoever organised these drawers in the ...

2026-01-04T18:31:13Z

I wish to be friends with whoever organised these drawers in the Ashmolean Museum

Things we should make illegal in 2026: - Websites that default to ...

2026-01-01T13:04:50Z

Things we should make illegal in 2026:

- Websites that default to the sign up flow instead of the login flow
- Websites with an app that automatically opens when you click on them, but the app has less information than the website
- Websites with so many pop-over notifications and discount dialogs it feels like 1999
- Honestly just websites are we sure this is still a good idea

The worst part of Christmas, where everyone is at #39c3 and I am ...

2025-12-27T20:00:38Z

The worst part of Christmas, where everyone is at #39c3 and I am not

Long shot, does anyone have an unwanted rabbit hutch in London? ...

2025-12-26T19:32:54Z

Long shot, does anyone have an unwanted rabbit hutch in London?

Poor thing was found abandoned on Wanstead Flats today and we are considering giving it an emergency home

Time between walking through my relatives door and fixing a tech ...

2025-12-24T17:59:21Z

Time between walking through my relatives door and fixing a tech issue that has been "driving them mad": 8 minutes.

The TV was in demo mode. It has been in demo mode for several months.

Nostr event nevent1qqsgk4fxsc754f8fnu2xm7n02kczfl0knj7gkcg05qmsesv3pm39fkczyq7y7y796phdevxsmkz8jv5p8whagn4m0cu9zxt3nt09gmgr9lvuqccuum7

2025-12-23T18:29:34Z

My pitch: Equip the train quiet carriage with a faraday cage

"AI is a force multiplier!!!" Yes but some engineers ...

2025-12-23T15:16:22Z

"AI is a force multiplier!!!"

Yes but some engineers should not be having their force multiplied. It's like giving a tank to a gerbil.

Sometimes you read about old technology, get to the end of the ...

2025-12-12T22:04:39Z

Sometimes you read about old technology, get to the end of the sentence, and have to read it again because it sounds so completely ludicrous you can't quite believe it actually worked.

Anyway Eidophor projectors are what they used for Apollo Mission Control.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eidophor

This morning I used the handy "go to point" function of ...

2025-12-06T13:14:29Z

This morning I used the handy "go to point" function of our robot vacuum to deliver toast to my partner in the living room and heard an "oh for fucks sake" in response

Idiots: "The arts have no purpose" Me: ...

2025-12-03T12:03:38Z

Idiots: "The arts have no purpose"

Me:

While walking down the street a dead drone dropped out of the sky ...

2025-11-25T19:52:43Z

While walking down the street a dead drone dropped out of the sky and almost hit me.

Finally, it feels like living in the future.

This morning I discovered a bunch of London accelerationists are ...

2025-11-17T12:10:23Z

This morning I discovered a bunch of London accelerationists are holding a VC-funded hackathon to build AI powered dancing robots with the final "robot rave" in a Margaret Thatcher themed nightclub, and I would like to go back to bed now please.

My partner walked in and asked if I was still working. What was ...

2025-11-13T19:11:32Z

My partner walked in and asked if I was still working.

What was on my screen:

Discovered a neighbour used to have a compass implanted in their ...

2025-11-01T20:10:55Z

Discovered a neighbour used to have a compass implanted in their chest and I'm desperately trying to come up with a way to ask "do you still have a compass implanted in your chest and CAN I SEE IT" that doesn't make them cross the street when they see me

Tomorrow I need to choose between installing our heating or ...

2025-10-31T21:14:13Z

Tomorrow I need to choose between installing our heating or collecting a motorised satellite dish. Being warm, or SATELLITES. How do you even decide.

My mac froze and the trackpad stopped clicking (the haptics are ...

2025-10-31T11:50:12Z

My mac froze and the trackpad stopped clicking (the haptics are from a linear motor).

Moments later it unfroze and the trackpad started clicking furiously, all on it's own, emulating the click patterns I tried to make while it was dead.

I do not want a haunted trackpad.

I always forget about my complete archive of UK government source ...

2025-10-28T13:37:05Z

I always forget about my complete archive of UK government source code until I receive panicked emails asking me to delete things from it.

This time it was password hashes. A *lot* of password hashes.

If you want your thing to last, and you can make your thing into ...

2025-10-27T19:27:19Z

If you want your thing to last, and you can make your thing into a static website: You should.

Not because it's less infrastructure. Not because you love javascript. Not because self-hosting. Not because *offline*.

Because it can be archived and preserved for the future.

The fastest way to make me pay for your newsletter is to start an ...

2025-10-18T11:14:09Z

The fastest way to make me pay for your newsletter is to start an article with this sentence

Overheard two elderly men having a delightfully innocent ...

2025-10-17T17:36:59Z

Overheard two elderly men having a delightfully innocent argument:

"Saturdays paper is the best paper. Yeah mate. Saturday"

"Naaaah. Sunday! Sundays paper is better"

Good morning from this row of excited boxes ...

2025-10-16T09:36:20Z

Good morning from this row of excited boxes

Approximately every nerd has read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy ...

2025-10-11T11:56:23Z

Approximately every nerd has read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy yet somehow we still don't have an offline Wikivoyage/Wikitravel editor I can use to angrily make corrections about public transit ticketing while riding a foreign subway

When you can't be bothered to refactor the code ...

2025-10-06T03:34:51Z

When you can't be bothered to refactor the code

I am displeased to report that all pins except earth are ...

2025-09-25T14:36:45Z

In reply to nevent1q…kz0y
_________________________

I am displeased to report that all pins except earth are connected

They arrived. oh no. OH NO. ...

2025-09-25T14:25:47Z

They arrived.

oh no. OH NO.

I appear to have founded a tiny co-working space in my ...

2025-09-24T20:51:11Z

I appear to have founded a tiny co-working space in my dilapidated garden summerhouse

People saying "We know what we're doing! All these checks ...

2025-09-23T15:56:31Z

People saying "We know what we're doing! All these checks and tests just slow us down!" is an incredible signal that people do not, in fact, know what they're doing

It is very weird to spend a decade pushing something up the hill ...

2025-09-19T20:57:36Z

It is very weird to spend a decade pushing something up the hill at enormous personal cost, then suddenly find it rolling without help

Tonight I got the director of Hackers (1994) to sign my copy of ...

2025-09-19T00:02:12Z

Tonight I got the director of Hackers (1994) to sign my copy of the novelisation and discovered it was the first time he'd ever signed one.

It was also the first time he'd ever seen one, and in fact the first time he found out it existed.

This is real and I need to have a lie down ...

2025-09-17T20:24:07Z

This is real and I need to have a lie down

FISH HEIST FISH HEIST ...

2025-09-16T21:58:14Z

FISH HEIST FISH HEIST

I am once more begging you to remove my sticker printing website ...

2025-09-14T23:25:12Z

I am once more begging you to remove my sticker printing website access

I can't believe how quickly this has gone slightly viral

2025-09-07T19:31:52Z

In reply to nevent1q…7wp6
_________________________

I can't believe how quickly this has gone slightly viral

Discovering the first computer my family owned is weirdly rare ...

2025-09-07T00:10:51Z

Discovering the first computer my family owned is weirdly rare has made me 1) mad that my parents gave it away and 2) set up more eBay alerts for old crap I really don't need

Good morning to everyone - especially the council worker ...

2025-09-05T07:30:38Z

Good morning to everyone - especially the council worker freestyle rapping about distributing recycling bags, while distributing recycling bags

I love it when the title of a paper also serves as a TL;DR ...

2025-09-03T08:48:09Z

I love it when the title of a paper also serves as a TL;DR

My continued enthusiasm about the most adorable wave-dissipating ...

2025-09-01T10:15:03Z

My continued enthusiasm about the most adorable wave-dissipating concrete block has lead to a surprisingly large number of friends making artisanal tetrapods.

Today: "Handed a tetrapod mould to one of our moulding technicians, I now have silicone tetrapods appearing at my desk every 90 minutes"

I love emailing people ...

2025-08-26T19:50:54Z

I love emailing people

Bring me the head of the Logitech designer responsible for this ...

2025-08-22T10:26:10Z

Bring me the head of the Logitech designer responsible for this

Someone please ban my ebay account ...

2025-08-21T16:44:34Z

Someone please ban my ebay account

Busy getting quotes for covering the entire garden in copper

2025-08-18T22:36:46Z

In reply to nevent1q…d84z
_________________________

Busy getting quotes for covering the entire garden in copper

Oh come on ...

2025-08-18T22:31:19Z

In reply to nevent1q…ewn7
_________________________

Oh come on

For what it's worth, we made the same error on the ...

2025-08-06T16:25:29Z

For what it's worth, we made the same error on the Electromagnetic Field (npub1fak…rg6c) 2014 badge using unprotected lipo pouches. Never again.

That event was only ~1000 people and we had at least three instances of batteries emitting smoke #why2025

My #why2025 FOMO got substantially worse after discovering the ...

2025-08-06T10:46:21Z

My #why2025 FOMO got substantially worse after discovering the badge has built-in pyrotechnics