Nostr notes by XKCD Bot

We have two 'in case of fire, break glass' boxes, which ...

2026-07-11T01:01:30Z

We have two 'in case of fire, break glass' boxes, which you pick between based on how big of a problem the fire is. One has an extinguisher, and one has sticks, marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate.
https://xkcd.com/3270/

Although it was a setback for physics, I'm glad the particle ...

2026-07-08T19:46:27Z

Although it was a setback for physics, I'm glad the particle naming rights issue led to the cancelation of Pizza Hut's Superconducting Super Collider in the early 90s, so the Double Stuffed Extra Cheese Topping Quark ended up just being named 'top quark.'
https://xkcd.com/3269/

If you're thinking 'Wait, a giant crystal cave in Mexico? ...

2026-07-02T02:01:28Z

If you're thinking 'Wait, a giant crystal cave in Mexico? What's that?' then I'm SO excited for the image search you're about to do.
https://xkcd.com/3266/

Paleontologists have long worried that the dinosaurs blasted into ...

2026-06-29T18:01:05Z

Paleontologists have long worried that the dinosaurs blasted into space 66 million years ago will one day complete their orbits and fall back down.
https://xkcd.com/3265/

Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, ...

2026-06-25T04:16:05Z

Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?
https://xkcd.com/3263/

The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data ...

2026-06-23T03:47:06Z

The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.
https://xkcd.com/3262/

Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird. ...

2026-06-20T02:02:05Z

Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
https://xkcd.com/3261/

In order to carry the necessary crafting supplies, they built the ...

2026-06-15T16:02:05Z

In order to carry the necessary crafting supplies, they built the ships at 12:1 scale.
https://xkcd.com/3259/

It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, ...

2026-06-12T22:16:05Z

It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.
https://xkcd.com/3258/

'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam ...

2026-06-11T01:32:06Z

'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
https://xkcd.com/3257/

Gen-Z got a chunk of the Carboniferous, and now all their memes ...

2026-06-08T22:47:05Z

Gen-Z got a chunk of the Carboniferous, and now all their memes are about how pathetic and small today's dragonflies are.
https://xkcd.com/3256/

The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, ...

2026-06-05T13:16:05Z

The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, which is what I named my surfboard.
https://xkcd.com/3255/

While weather control is typically thought of as a superpower, ...

2026-06-01T15:31:04Z

While weather control is typically thought of as a superpower, the unconscious ability of astronomers and astrophotographers to summon clouds is more properly classified as a curse.
https://xkcd.com/3253/

It's possible to do sea navigation without a compass, but ...

2026-05-27T21:16:50Z

It's possible to do sea navigation without a compass, but you'll have to get some spoilers from the Polynesians.
https://xkcd.com/3251/

Every place has a local cryptid; more places need a local Pictish ...

2026-05-25T22:01:48Z

Every place has a local cryptid; more places need a local Pictish Beast, a creature in historical art that's drawn so weirdly that no one can tell what animal it's supposed to be.
https://xkcd.com/3250/

We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was ...

2026-05-22T19:01:49Z

We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
https://xkcd.com/3249/

Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we ...

2026-05-18T19:01:49Z

Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.
https://xkcd.com/3247/

Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun. ...

2026-05-16T01:01:58Z

Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.
https://xkcd.com/3246/

Please, we need your help. Our research suggests you're the ...

2026-05-13T18:47:38Z

Please, we need your help. Our research suggests you're the last living descendant of the person who knew how to format this config file.
https://xkcd.com/3245/

'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision ...

2026-05-08T17:46:33Z

'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
https://xkcd.com/3243/

Scientists occasionally invent alternative periodic table ...

2026-05-06T18:16:33Z

Scientists occasionally invent alternative periodic table layouts, which is usually a sign that they don't have enough enrichment in their enclosures.
https://xkcd.com/3242/

It started as a mistake that everyone was afraid to admit to, and ...

2026-05-05T19:46:33Z

It started as a mistake that everyone was afraid to admit to, and then it stuck because removing it 'looks silly.'.
https://xkcd.com/3241/

"I know it seems impossible, but the trick is that I sailed ...

2026-05-01T18:46:33Z

"I know it seems impossible, but the trick is that I sailed in here when I was very young."
https://xkcd.com/3240/

Borat came out twenty years ago this year--closer to the breakup ...

2026-04-24T15:31:32Z

Borat came out twenty years ago this year--closer to the breakup of the Soviet Union than to today--but it honestly feels like it's been even longer, somehow.
https://xkcd.com/3237/

Thanks to differences in logging regulations, the messages ...

2026-04-22T20:46:32Z

Thanks to differences in logging regulations, the messages actually turned out to be visible from the air.
https://xkcd.com/3236/

I can't believe Candles of Vienna caved to commercial ...

2026-04-21T04:01:32Z

I can't believe Candles of Vienna caved to commercial pressure and added the Goku expansion.
https://xkcd.com/3235/

Before resurfacing, they promise to inspect the ice for any ...

2026-04-18T00:31:32Z

Before resurfacing, they promise to inspect the ice for any evidence of hockey-playing life.
https://xkcd.com/3234/

It's not as big a loss as it looks, because now I have have ...

2026-04-15T21:31:33Z

It's not as big a loss as it looks, because now I have have leftover supplies, which will help me talk myself into doing this all over again with a new project!
https://xkcd.com/3233/

Anyone who is caught counting 'three ... two ... one ... zero ...

2026-04-13T22:16:32Z

Anyone who is caught counting 'three ... two ... one ... zero ... GO!' will be punished with a lifetime of eating only ISO standard food samples.
https://xkcd.com/3232/

Maybe you should wear one too? I guess I'm taller than you, ...

2026-04-10T20:46:32Z

Maybe you should wear one too? I guess I'm taller than you, so as long as I have one we're fine.
https://xkcd.com/3231/

I think I accidentally installed an Overton window in my bedroom. ...

2026-04-08T18:31:34Z

I think I accidentally installed an Overton window in my bedroom. A few months ago, the sun wasn't in my face in the morning, but now it is.
https://xkcd.com/3230/

Communication is one of the most popular ways to transmit ...

2026-04-06T22:01:34Z

Communication is one of the most popular ways to transmit information, ahead of rivals such as
https://xkcd.com/3229/

It has been −2,147,483,648 days since our last integer ...

2026-04-03T11:46:32Z

It has been −2,147,483,648 days since our last integer overflow.
https://xkcd.com/3228/

This xkcd.com update introduces a variety of new reading modes ...

2026-04-01T20:16:32Z

This xkcd.com update introduces a variety of new reading modes which can be activated through the menu below the comic.
https://xkcd.com/3227/

"While I try to do my part to destroy the environment, I try ...

2026-03-30T21:46:35Z

"While I try to do my part to destroy the environment, I try not to focus too much on individual responsibility. By pushing for broad policy changes, we can collectively do far more damage to the biosphere than any of us could on our own."
https://xkcd.com/3226/

We're working to make sure the images are as up-to-date and ...

2026-03-27T21:16:34Z

We're working to make sure the images are as up-to-date and accurate as possible, with a minimum number of sponsored galaxies.
https://xkcd.com/3225/

Yes, the cosmic microwave background is great, but what about the ...

2026-03-26T03:31:33Z

Yes, the cosmic microwave background is great, but what about the earthly microwave foreground?
https://xkcd.com/3224/

Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, ...

2026-03-23T18:31:33Z

Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
https://xkcd.com/3223/

It's ok, I still have some nice, cool gas clouds that ...

2026-03-20T20:16:33Z

It's ok, I still have some nice, cool gas clouds that aren't collapsing. As long as nothing ionizes them, I can continue to enjoy their ... HEY! NO!!!
https://xkcd.com/3222/

'Well, there's speculation that it's due to a mantle ...

2026-03-18T17:31:32Z

'Well, there's speculation that it's due to a mantle hotspot.' --a geologist who's trying to cover up the fact that they didn't hear your question
https://xkcd.com/3221/

I don't get it. The peak acceleration for passengers was WAY ...

2026-03-17T02:46:32Z

I don't get it. The peak acceleration for passengers was WAY lower than in the giant-waterslide-loop-the-loop incident the other cruise line fired me for.
https://xkcd.com/3220/

An old astronomer trick for distinguishing the Sun from other ...

2026-03-13T19:46:55Z

An old astronomer trick for distinguishing the Sun from other stars is to take multiple photos a few minutes apart and overlay them, making the Sun stand out due to its high proper motion.
https://xkcd.com/3219/

Aww, the oceanic crust and the continental crust are getting ...

2026-03-12T02:46:57Z

Aww, the oceanic crust and the continental crust are getting married!
https://xkcd.com/3218/

As always, you are permitted to call one person for guidance, but ...

2026-03-10T07:31:55Z

As always, you are permitted to call one person for guidance, but that person must be a grandparent.
https://xkcd.com/3217/

In contrast to the deep booming sound associated with the cannon ...

2026-03-06T14:31:56Z

In contrast to the deep booming sound associated with the cannon in pop culture depictions, recent studies show it actually made more of a 'toot toot!' noise.
https://xkcd.com/3216/

This replaces the previous solar activity watch, which was issued ...

2026-03-04T14:46:56Z

This replaces the previous solar activity watch, which was issued last month when the sun took off its sunglasses.
https://xkcd.com/3215/

Now that I've finally gotten an electric vehicle, I'm ...

2026-03-03T03:31:55Z

Now that I've finally gotten an electric vehicle, I'm never going back to an acoustic one.
https://xkcd.com/3214/

I mean, half of these are undefined. And your multiplication dots ...

2026-02-27T21:46:56Z

I mean, half of these are undefined. And your multiplication dots are too low; they look like decimal points.
https://xkcd.com/3213/

After a lot of analysis, I've determined that they're ...

2026-02-26T02:46:55Z

After a lot of analysis, I've determined that they're actually big red dots; they're just very far away.
https://xkcd.com/3212/

Oh, and do you have any tips on how to vacuum up copper ...

2026-02-24T05:46:55Z

Oh, and do you have any tips on how to vacuum up copper that's melted into your carpet?
https://xkcd.com/3211/

'If you've eliminated a few possibilities and you ...

2026-02-20T20:01:55Z

'If you've eliminated a few possibilities and you can't think of any others, your weird theory is proven right' isn't quite as rhetorically compelling.
https://xkcd.com/3210/

My icebox plum trap easily captured William Carlos Williams. It ...

2026-02-19T03:01:57Z

My icebox plum trap easily captured William Carlos Williams. It took much less work than the infinite looping network of diverging paths I had to build in that yellow wood to ensnare Robert Frost.
https://xkcd.com/3209/

People say setting of fireworks indoors is dangerous, but I ...

2026-02-16T21:46:55Z

People say setting of fireworks indoors is dangerous, but I looked at their energy release and it's like 10^-40 foe; totally negligible.
https://xkcd.com/3208/

'The zero line in WMM2025 passes through a lot of population ...

2026-02-14T02:31:53Z

'The zero line in WMM2025 passes through a lot of population centers; I wonder what year the largest share of the population lived in a zone of less than 5° of declination,' he thought, derailing all other tasks for the rest of the day.
https://xkcd.com/3207/

Do YOU remember the skylight being this big? ...

2026-02-12T02:46:59Z

Do YOU remember the skylight being this big?
https://xkcd.com/3206/

This dating is corroborated by the presence of stone tools at the ...

2026-02-10T04:16:06Z

This dating is corroborated by the presence of stone tools at the site, rather than earlier and less effective helium ones.
https://xkcd.com/3205/

Staplers are actually in Pseudosuchia, making them more closely ...

2026-02-06T19:31:49Z

Staplers are actually in Pseudosuchia, making them more closely related to crocodiles than to dinosaurs.
https://xkcd.com/3204/

The discovery of a fully typographical star system comes with a ...

2026-02-05T04:46:39Z

The discovery of a fully typographical star system comes with a big asterisk.
https://xkcd.com/3203/

Originally, the ceremony used a variety of rodents and mustelids, ...

2026-02-02T16:16:41Z

Originally, the ceremony used a variety of rodents and mustelids, but over time most people agreed it made sense to standardize on a specific individual ground squirrel in Pennsylvania.
https://xkcd.com/3202/

There's also a proof without content of a conjecture without ...

2026-01-30T17:46:54Z

There's also a proof without content of a conjecture without content, but it's left as an exercise for the reader.
https://xkcd.com/3201/

Some of the atoms in the molecule are very weakly bound. ...

2026-01-28T20:02:01Z

Some of the atoms in the molecule are very weakly bound.
https://xkcd.com/3200/

'Ugh, I'm never going to be like spiders. My descendants ...

2026-01-27T00:16:03Z

'Ugh, I'm never going to be like spiders. My descendants will all just be normal arthropods who mind their own busines and don't do anything weird.' --The ancestor of a bunch of eusocial insects
https://xkcd.com/3199/

'Oh, and can I borrow 50 sacks of loose flour, a pile of ...

2026-01-24T01:46:19Z

'Oh, and can I borrow 50 sacks of loose flour, a pile of lithium-ion batteries, a bucket of bleach, and a bucket of vinega--' 'NO!!!!!!'
https://xkcd.com/3198/

Unfortunately, my scheme to trick NASA has now taken over a ...

2026-01-21T22:46:11Z

Unfortunately, my scheme to trick NASA has now taken over a decade longer than planned and has run way over budget.
https://xkcd.com/3197/

I've had countless nights where the line never left the ...

2026-01-20T02:31:04Z

I've had countless nights where the line never left the bottom zone of the graph, but the few moments where it's climbed all the way to the top have made up for them all.
https://xkcd.com/3196/

Welcome to the International Space Station Exclamation Point! ...

2026-01-16T14:46:51Z

Welcome to the International Space Station Exclamation Point!
https://xkcd.com/3195/

Some surfaces may seem difficult to glue. But if you research the ...

2026-01-14T20:01:24Z

Some surfaces may seem difficult to glue. But if you research the materials, find tables of what adhesives work on them, and prepare your surfaces carefully, you can fail to glue them in a fun NEW way that fills your house with dangerous vapors.
https://xkcd.com/3194/

I wanted to make the world's fastest yawl, so I made the aft ...

2026-01-13T05:01:21Z

I wanted to make the world's fastest yawl, so I made the aft sail bigger, but apparently that means it's not a yawl anymore! It's a real ketch-22.
https://xkcd.com/3193/

We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the ...

2026-01-10T05:16:38Z

We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the test stand. Which ocean basin do you like the least?
https://xkcd.com/3192/

It's important to teach yourself to feel responsible for ...

2026-01-07T19:46:30Z

It's important to teach yourself to feel responsible for random events, because with great responsibility comes great power. That's what my wise Uncle Ben told me right before he died; he might still be alive today if only I'd said rabbit rabbit that year!
https://xkcd.com/3191/

Some people argue that the tension and compression in the human ...

2026-01-06T03:16:11Z

Some people argue that the tension and compression in the human skeleton is technically tensegrity, but it's missing the defining characteristic: making people say 'wtf, how is that thing floating?' when they see it.
https://xkcd.com/3190/

They're not generally used for crewed spacecraft because ...

2026-01-03T01:31:10Z

They're not generally used for crewed spacecraft because astronauts HATE going around the corners.
https://xkcd.com/3189/

Anyone else watching this Youtube video in 1954? If so, my last ...

2025-12-31T22:16:04Z

Anyone else watching this Youtube video in 1954? If so, my last trip definitely messed with the timeline.
https://xkcd.com/3188/

1,300,000-1,400,000 ft: Ask a crew member to show you how to use ...

2025-12-29T23:46:43Z

1,300,000-1,400,000 ft: Ask a crew member to show you how to use the ISS food warmer.
https://xkcd.com/3187/

Building Inspectors HATE This One Weird Trick ...

2025-12-26T16:16:45Z

Building Inspectors HATE This One Weird Trick
https://xkcd.com/3186/

Vertebrae Georg https://xkcd.com/3185/ ...

2025-12-25T01:16:02Z

Vertebrae Georg
https://xkcd.com/3185/

In 1899, people were walking around shouting '23' at each ...

2025-12-23T04:46:20Z

In 1899, people were walking around shouting '23' at each other and laughing, and confused reporters were writing articles trying to figure out what it meant.
https://xkcd.com/3184/

My goal in life is to be personally responsible for at least one ...

2025-12-20T04:31:54Z

My goal in life is to be personally responsible for at least one sports rule change.
https://xkcd.com/3183/

I'm trying to buy a gravitational lens for my camera, but I ...

2025-12-18T00:01:55Z

I'm trying to buy a gravitational lens for my camera, but I can't tell if the manufacturers are listing comoving focal length or proper focal length.
https://xkcd.com/3182/

Earth's r_jf is approximately 1.5 light-days, leading to ...

2025-12-16T04:16:29Z

Earth's r_jf is approximately 1.5 light-days, leading to general relativity's successful prediction that all the frogs in the Solar System should be found collected on the surface of the Earth.
https://xkcd.com/3181/

The experimental math department's budget is under scrutiny ...

2025-12-12T23:16:27Z

The experimental math department's budget is under scrutiny for how much they've been spending on trains leaving Chicago at 9:00pm traveling at 45 mph.
https://xkcd.com/3180/

'That's definitely above the catch-and-release size ...

2025-12-11T03:01:53Z

'That's definitely above the catch-and-release size minimum for planetesimals.' 'I'm going to throw it back anyway.'
https://xkcd.com/3179/

Our models fall apart where the three theories overlap; we're ...

2025-12-09T02:16:14Z

Our models fall apart where the three theories overlap; we're unable to predict what happens when a nanometer-sized squirrel eats a grapefruit with the mass of the sun.
https://xkcd.com/3178/

Luckily, the range is limited by the fact that the square ...

2025-12-06T02:16:27Z

Luckily, the range is limited by the fact that the square boundary lines follow great circles.
https://xkcd.com/3177/

Some tires are marketed as 'all-shape tires,' but if ...

2025-12-04T01:46:56Z

Some tires are marketed as 'all-shape tires,' but if driven in a climate with both inverted catenary falls and triangle falls, they wear out really fast.
https://xkcd.com/3176/

Tired of waiting on hold? Use our website to chat with one of our ...

2025-12-01T19:46:46Z

Tired of waiting on hold? Use our website to chat with one of our live agents, who are available to produce words at you 24/7!
https://xkcd.com/3175/

A lot of the highway department's budget goes to adjusting ...

2025-11-28T21:16:09Z

A lot of the highway department's budget goes to adjusting the sign whenever the moon passes directly overhead.
https://xkcd.com/3174/

Every weekend I take an ATV out into the desert and spend a day ...

2025-11-26T20:46:01Z

Every weekend I take an ATV out into the desert and spend a day tracing a faint "(C) GOOGLE 2009" watermark across the landscape.
https://xkcd.com/3173/

"Want to feel old?" "Yes." https://xkcd.com/3172/ ...

2025-11-24T21:31:52Z

"Want to feel old?" "Yes."
https://xkcd.com/3172/

If you drill at the right angle and time things perfectly, your ...

2025-11-21T23:16:12Z

If you drill at the right angle and time things perfectly, your core sample can include a section of a rival team's coring equipment.
https://xkcd.com/3171/

Now, if it were the Canon wiki, it's possible to imagine ...

2025-11-20T01:46:14Z

Now, if it were the *Canon* wiki, it's possible to imagine someone with a productivity-related reason for consulting it, but no one's job requires them to read that much about Admiral Daala.
https://xkcd.com/3170/

'Oh no, the box is drifting out into the harbor!' ...

2025-11-17T23:01:15Z

'Oh no, the box is drifting out into the harbor!' 'Yeah, I wouldn't worry about losing it.'
https://xkcd.com/3169/

We're adding some industrial flypaper to minimize reflection ...

2025-11-14T22:16:14Z

We're adding some industrial flypaper to minimize reflection or scattering of customers who might complain.
https://xkcd.com/3168/

'They really shouldn't let those small cars drive in ...

2025-11-12T19:46:14Z

'They really shouldn't let those small cars drive in traffic. I worry I'm going to kill someone if I hit one! They should have to drive on the sidewalk, safely out of the way.'
https://xkcd.com/3167/

Are you the annoying spoon or the sleepy spoon? ...

2025-11-11T01:31:14Z

Are you the annoying spoon or the sleepy spoon?
https://xkcd.com/3166/

At least people who make religious predictions of the apocalypse ...

2025-11-08T02:16:14Z

At least people who make religious predictions of the apocalypse have an answer to the question 'Why didn't you predict any of the other ones that happened recently?'
https://xkcd.com/3165/

The package weighs 7 kg 9 oz. https://xkcd.com/3164/ ...

2025-11-05T21:01:14Z

The package weighs 7 kg 9 oz.
https://xkcd.com/3164/

The statue should be in the likeness of whatever sculptor posted ...

2025-11-03T23:16:14Z

The statue should be in the likeness of whatever sculptor posted the sculpting tool repair video that was most helpful during the installation of the statue.
https://xkcd.com/3163/

Even geology papers about Heart Mountain are like, "Look, we ...

2025-11-01T00:16:49Z

Even geology papers about Heart Mountain are like, "Look, we all agree this 'volcanic gas earthquake hovercraft' thing seems like it can't possibly be right, but..."
https://xkcd.com/3162/

Carefully maneuvering the balloon down a mineshaft in an effort ...

2025-10-29T21:31:48Z

Carefully maneuvering the balloon down a mineshaft in an effort to break the OTHER altitude record
https://xkcd.com/3161/