Nostr notes by KyleMiller

Absolutely do not go to therapy with an abusive partner. It never ...

2026-05-22T20:51:09Z

Absolutely do not go to therapy with an abusive partner. It never helps and it usually causes more issues. Go alone and get the help you need and always be kind to yourself through the process.

It definitely takes a lot of work to be able to see the good in ...

2026-05-22T20:47:00Z

It definitely takes a lot of work to be able to see the good in all the things we go through. None of it is easy and it always takes more time than anyone thinks it should. It's possible for everyone though.

We all get to choose the hard things we're willing to do. ...

2026-05-01T21:11:32Z

We all get to choose the hard things we're willing to do.

Getting out of toxic relationships is incredible and awful and ...

2026-05-01T15:43:46Z

Getting out of toxic relationships is incredible and awful and needed. The real beauty comes in making and allowing the space to find ourselves perhaps for the first time in our lives. This is my wish for every single individual! Everyone deserves this and it's also something we all can do!❤️

Most often I see people either avoid everyone to try to avoid ...

2026-04-28T16:49:16Z

Most often I see people either avoid everyone to try to avoid narcissists, or they are over confident in their abilities to spot them. One side we are perpetually alone. The other side we end up further into another toxic relationship and then have another mess to clean up. All or nothing thinking is almost never helpful in moving forward with our lives. Everything requires a balance.

Closure means you see through them and leave. They thrive on ...

2026-04-24T15:00:59Z

Closure means you see through them and leave. They thrive on keeping you confused and emotionally hooked. The best closure is walking away for good. It's not easy, but it's easier than continuing to live in or conform to their abuse and illusion they want you to live in! We get to choose ourselves!

Narcissists will forever blame us for everything we did and ...

2026-04-21T16:54:46Z

Narcissists will forever blame us for everything we did and didn't do. They'll also blame us for everything we didn't put up with from them and especially ever speaking up. That's just what they do and how they avoid and project everything they do onto us. It's not your fault not matter what they say!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.

Most often when we are judging or shaming someone else it's a ...

2026-04-21T16:37:40Z

Most often when we are judging or shaming someone else it's a reflection about something in ourselves. It's different to observe and disagree with something than to throw shame and judgement at someone else. Take the time to reflect on why we are doing this to someone else and if it reflects how we feel about ourselves even in small ways.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.

When we are able to realize and embrace that everything in life ...

2026-04-19T16:55:26Z

When we are able to realize and embrace that everything in life happens for us, it allows the journey to be much easier. We all go through things, but often we have resistance and judgement about these things. This keeps us stuck. It doesn't mean bad things are ok, but we can make meaning from them.

Coaching is so life altering in so many ways. One thing it does ...

2026-04-17T19:02:54Z

Coaching is so life altering in so many ways. One thing it does is allow you to be in a space where you get to feel what good, genuine connection and safety feels like. It's not easy to find something that we don't know what it looks or feels like. It's one of the best ways to learn how to find good people.

Although many of the tactics and abuse may be similar. Every ...

2026-04-15T16:31:39Z

Although many of the tactics and abuse may be similar. Every single narcissist is completely different in their personality and tendencies. That's why it's not easy to spot them especially in the beginning of the relationship. Go slow and pay attention to their actions. They will show themselves!

It's the hardest work you can and will ever do. Forgiving ...

2026-04-15T01:57:32Z

It's the hardest work you can and will ever do. Forgiving yourself and loving yourself. It's also the most rewarding thing we can ever do and it's life changing beyond description! The healthier we are, the more we can enjoy riding the rollercoaster.

Healing from narcissists and bad habits isn't just possible, ...

2026-04-06T18:01:49Z

Healing from narcissists and bad habits isn't just possible, it's something anyone can do if they're willing to do the work. It's better to let go of toxic relationships first, then we can work on the other stuff. We can all heal and move forward with a life we love. You don't have to do it alone!

Everyone wants to know, are they a narcissist or not? If they ...

2026-04-06T17:26:45Z

Everyone wants to know, are they a narcissist or not? If they aren't, then maybe they can change, heal, and grow. But even if they aren't, the hard truth is that many people just aren't ready or willing to do the work. Healing takes effort, and if they're not there yet, you're still in an unhealthy relationship. Then we get to decide how long we want to continue living this way.

It's okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. We’re often ...

2026-04-06T17:21:26Z

It's okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. We’re often our own harshest critics, but your emotions aren't "wrong." We could all use more compassion and kindness, especially toward ourselves and our feelings. Let's normalize this in society! What's one emotion you've been judging yourself for lately?

The control exerted by a narcissist creates a psychological ...

2026-04-06T17:09:19Z

The control exerted by a narcissist creates a psychological prison, effectively confining you within invisible walls crafted from manipulation and fear. We cannot break free from this prison until we realize we are in one. Only then do we realize it's an illusion we can shatter and release ourselves!

I think more and more people are seeing and it's being ...

2026-04-05T21:36:15Z

I think more and more people are seeing and it's being exposed how bad so many of the systems are. They aren't doing what they say they do, and maybe they never did. It's becoming even more important for everyone who wants help to find specific individuals for help, rather than relying on any of the systems. I realize this isn't easy and it also in some ways puts pressure on us to find our own support. It also empowers us to take ownership and find the right help and support.

We get to feel it to heal it. Either way we're going to have ...

2026-04-05T17:25:02Z

We get to feel it to heal it. Either way we're going to have to deal with it. Feeling and processing the emotions allows us to release them and move forward without carrying all the weight of our experiences. Releasing the emotions allows us to also release the judgement of our experiences. Then we can more easily learn and grow from our experiences. It's literally like releasing the brakes to moving forward and living your life!

Healing isn't just about feeling better. It's about ...

2026-04-05T16:53:36Z

Healing isn't just about feeling better. It's about building, living and embracing a life and relationships you love. We heal so we can release the traumas and the triggers so they don't affect us or the people in our lives or hurt anyone. It allows us to fully embrace all the good things in our lives!

The toxic relationship with a narcissist becomes a dark dance ...

2026-04-05T14:54:19Z

The toxic relationship with a narcissist becomes a dark dance that leaves you craving the light of genuine love, happiness, and self-discovery. The struggle is often with the awareness we are in darkness. We can't work through anything we're unaware of. With the awareness we can begin making steps towards the light.

Hope everyone has an absolutely amazing Easter! I hope your day ...

2026-04-05T14:43:37Z

Hope everyone has an absolutely amazing Easter! I hope your day is filled with peace, love, connection and tons of joy!❤️

The feelings we had for toxic or abusive people is real no matter ...

2026-04-04T17:50:31Z

The feelings we had for toxic or abusive people is real no matter what anyone says about it. Shame and judgement from ourselves or others does not help us to work through these emotions. It will often push people away instead. What we really need is kindness and compassion from ourselves and everyone else.

Community and connection is so important and essential in our ...

2026-04-04T17:21:54Z

Community and connection is so important and essential in our lives. Anam Cara is a new term I learned about recently. I have also been doing the work to bring more soul friends into my life. I hope everyone is finding more of these wonderful people and bringing them into their lives!

Narcissists will tell you they want to cooperate or work with ...

2026-04-04T16:07:23Z

Narcissists will tell you they want to cooperate or work with you. This is a lie. They are simply trying to figure out how to make you comply with what they want. They have no intention of doing anything you want, only manipulating you into doing what they want. It's simply another one of their illusions!

The rollercoaster of emotions perpetuated by a narcissist keeps ...

2026-04-04T15:36:31Z

The rollercoaster of emotions perpetuated by a narcissist keeps you in a perpetual state of anxiety, unsure of what mood or demand awaits you next. It takes time to work yourself out of this. Be patient and kind with yourself. We don't have to play their games or participate in their chaos and drama!

Perhaps many of the people we think are assholes, or are assholes ...

2026-04-03T20:48:00Z

Perhaps many of the people we think are assholes, or are assholes just know there's a ton of narcissists out there. Although I'm sure some just like being that way. 🤣🤷 I also realize to people who don't have good boundaries, people who do seem like assholes to them. It's definitely not simple, which doesn't make it easy to navigate.

It almost never does any good to call out the narcissist to them ...

2026-04-03T18:53:36Z

It almost never does any good to call out the narcissist to them or to anyone else. Most people have already made up their minds about people and there's often not much we can do to change that. It also distracts us from our lives and causes more drama and chaos. Focus on yourself and healing and let everything else go.

We often want to jump right into solving the problems in our ...

2026-04-03T17:02:44Z

We often want to jump right into solving the problems in our lives, our relationships, or within ourselves. This is great, but it's not so good if we don't acknowledge the issues first. It's essential to first acknowledge what we're going or anyone else is. Then we can work towards solutions to them.

The subtle manipulation, abuse and gaslighting by narcissists ...

2026-04-03T14:53:23Z

The subtle manipulation, abuse and gaslighting by narcissists often leave us wondering if it's actually abuse. No matter how small or subtle. If this is a continuous pattern and especially if it leaves us questioning our own reality, it's still abuse. No one deserves to be treated this way!

Ever got a call that your ex's pet's ashes are ready? ...

2026-04-02T20:43:46Z

Ever got a call that your ex's pet's ashes are ready? 🐾 It’s awkward, weird, and a classic move for toxic partners who "forget" to update their info just to keep a tether to you. Years later, and you're still on the paperwork? 🚩 These little things aren't just accidents; they're subtle ways to stay in your life.

I totally got caught driving a cyber truck! I actually had the ...

2026-04-02T20:06:28Z

I totally got caught driving a cyber truck! I actually had the opportunity to test drive one and said hell yes! It was definitely interesting, although doubtful that one is in my future. Glad I got to drive it though. Love test driving cars and always jump at the chance to try something out!

It's not easy for people to point out red flags in our ...

2026-04-02T17:57:29Z

It's not easy for people to point out red flags in our relationships. It's also often not easy for us to receive this from them either. These are some of the most important conversations that we all need to have though. It's something that needs to be normalized to have healthy relationships.

We often spend so much time hating the toxic people in our lives ...

2026-04-02T14:59:41Z

We often spend so much time hating the toxic people in our lives that it doesn't leave much time for us to love ourselves. Learning to focus on and love ourselves is the path towards healing. We can't learn to love ourselves while still holding onto hate. Give yourself grace along the way. It's not easy, but you are worth it!

I see so many people who have struggled with ADHD. I have also ...

2026-04-01T16:40:37Z

I see so many people who have struggled with ADHD. I have also seen how much less it affects them when they heal the trauma and release more of the emotions. It may not go away, but it also doesn't control their lives in the way it used to. Everything is something we can work to heal, or at least affect us less.

Perhaps all of us have coping mechanisms that we use. Some of ...

2026-04-01T16:03:02Z

Perhaps all of us have coping mechanisms that we use. Some of them are healthier than others, but they all show up for a reason. ADHD often seems to show up as a result of trying to cope with trauma. It helps distract us from things that are overwhelming and that's ok.

When you have a narcissist in your life, you don’t need a ...

2026-04-01T15:58:17Z

When you have a narcissist in your life, you don’t need a special April Fools' Day. Every day is a guessing game. Will they be kind and loving, or will they blow everything up and blame you for it? It’s exhausting to never know which version of them you’re going to get. You don’t have to participate in their chaos or drama!

Your genuine emotions, vulnerabilities, and desires are exploited ...

2026-04-01T15:17:03Z

Your genuine emotions, vulnerabilities, and desires are exploited by narcissists, becoming weapons they use to further their manipulation and abuse. Find safe places away from them to allow these emotions out. Give them as little emotion as possible and always be kind to you throughout your healing journey.

Narcissists will claim and talk about their kids as their own ...

2026-03-31T23:34:23Z

Narcissists will claim and talk about their kids as their own when they make them look good, or if they're looking for sympathy. They will also turn around and act like they are the other parent's kids when they are not. It's all about controlling their image. They absolutely don't care about anyone else including their kids!

No one wants to believe they’re in a relationship with a ...

2026-03-31T19:11:13Z

No one wants to believe they’re in a relationship with a narcissist. It feels like being duped, like someone hid the truth from you until it was too late. Even if you saw the red flags, it’s not until you see them all that you realize you’ve woken up into a living nightmare. Accepting this reality is the first, hardest step toward finally getting out and reclaiming your life.

All narcissists are assholes, but not all assholes are ...

2026-03-31T19:03:17Z

All narcissists are assholes, but not all assholes are narcissists. Some people are just rough around the edges. They might be blunt or difficult, but they actually care about others. A narcissist, however, is incapable of real empathy. The only thing they genuinely care about is their image and their reputation with the rest of the world.

Narcissists won't ever stop taking. They will drain your ...

2026-03-31T16:39:33Z

Narcissists won't ever stop taking. They will drain your energy, your emotions, and your resources until there is nothing left, and then they’ll demand more. It’s a cycle that feels never ending. They view us as supply and when we run out, they'll simply go find it somewhere else. We don't have to settle for this. Focus on yourself and what you need in your life!

Love is transactional to narcissists, they use it to buy ...

2026-03-31T15:30:14Z

Love is transactional to narcissists, they use it to buy compliance and loyalty. Your affections are spent in their pursuit of control and earned through submission. Real love is never transactional! We don't have to settle for what they give or decide. Choose yourself and your life and release them from your life!

Healthy boundaries are the best way to keep narcissists out of ...

2026-03-31T13:57:01Z

Healthy boundaries are the best way to keep narcissists out of your life and keep yourself safe. Toxic people will be angry and rage when you hold boundaries and it will probably lead to the end of these relationships. Keep yourself safe when doing this, but also learn how to build and hold good, healthy boundaries!

We often beat ourselves up for the way we behaved or reacted. ...

2026-03-30T16:54:42Z

We often beat ourselves up for the way we behaved or reacted. Many times we simply didn't have the capacity or awareness or many other things to be able to react or behave any different than we did. We can't change the past, but we can choose in every moment to be kind to ourselves and forgive ourselves. The way we treat ourselves is more important than anything else we do!

None of us really want to live in chaos, but it's normal to ...

2026-03-30T16:25:42Z

None of us really want to live in chaos, but it's normal to us. At least until we do the work to embrace the new normal of peace in our lives. Something will feel wrong when we have peace, until we train ourselves that it's no longer "the calm before the storm". This isn't easy, but it's definitely worth it! It's also something that's much easier with good help and support. It takes years and even decades off the healing process.
This is what I do and I would be happy to show you how. Dm me or schedule a call through the link in my bio.

Love loses its purity when wielded by a narcissist, becoming a ...

2026-03-30T16:20:05Z

Love loses its purity when wielded by a narcissist, becoming a strategic tool for manipulation and control rather than an expression of care. Let's be clear, they don't actually love anyone. It's all just an illusion to trap us. They won't change, but we can move on. Do the work to release them and their baggage and move forward with your life!

Hope everyone has an incredibly wonderful day filled with love, ...

2026-03-30T16:00:44Z

Hope everyone has an incredibly wonderful day filled with love, kindness and compassion. Most of all I hope you give these gifts to yourself. You deserve them!

Relationships with narcissists will simply never be OK! Even if ...

2026-03-29T22:49:53Z

Relationships with narcissists will simply never be OK! Even if we do the work on ourselves so we can be ok, the relationship never will be. This is another reason it's so essential for us to focus on ourselves and our lives. Then we get to decide if we want to stay or leave the relationship. Doing the work to heal will help us no matter what we decide.

Getting to where we allow ourselves to feel the anger is ...

2026-03-29T21:06:56Z

Getting to where we allow ourselves to feel the anger is essential. It's very hard to really move forward with our lives while the anger is still suppressed inside us. We get to feel it and then process and release it. This is all part of moving forward in our lives. Suppressing emotions will always keep us stuck. We must feel in order to heal.

We don't want to accept we are in an abusive relationship, or ...

2026-03-29T21:04:34Z

We don't want to accept we are in an abusive relationship, or that someone is unwilling to change themselves or the way they treat us. Accepting this is often the first step in being able to make changes in our lives that help us move forward. We must bring the focus and attention back to ourselves. Until we do this, we will continue to be stuck. Hoping and waiting for things to change. Things only change when we accept how they are and actively choose to make changes.

It might seem crazy to compare mystical creatures to narcissists ...

2026-03-29T15:24:26Z

It might seem crazy to compare mystical creatures to narcissists changing, but this is much closer to reality. They simply can't in many ways and they absolutely won't in every other way. It doesn't cause problems in their life. It causes problems for everyone else. Focus on yourself and let them go!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.

Hope is one of the things that keeps us stuck in abusive ...

2026-03-28T18:04:59Z

Hope is one of the things that keeps us stuck in abusive relationships. We want to believe the best in others and give them chances to change things. What actually matters is the patterns in their behavior. This is who they are and what they do, not what they say. The real hope is in what you do and choose to do with and for yourself.

Narcissists don’t care about their kids. I realize some may ...

2026-03-28T16:40:19Z

Narcissists don’t care about their kids. I realize some may care a little, but they still view them as supply just like everyone else. Everything they do for them is to show they are a good parent. Everything the child does is a reflection of them. Their kids don’t ever get to be their own person, unless or until they break free.

Narcissists use exhaustion to keep control of us and the ...

2026-03-28T15:43:30Z

Narcissists use exhaustion to keep control of us and the relationship. They don’t want us to think clearly or be rested. They want us continually busy and worn down. The more stable and rested we are, the less control they have. They’ll be upset no matter what, hold your boundaries and get your rest.

This is how they keep control. They push you, manipulate you, and ...

2026-03-28T15:23:35Z

This is how they keep control. They push you, manipulate you, and when you finally react, they flip the script to make you look unstable. It’s a setup, not a coincidence. Don’t take the bait—stay grounded and walk away. Their power lies in your reaction. Do the work and learn to be less reactive and give yourself grace when you do react.

I realize many people already know what I do, but I also realize ...

2026-03-27T21:39:43Z

I realize many people already know what I do, but I also realize many more don't. I help people heal from narcissistic abuse so they can move forward into a life and relationships they truly love! If you have struggled or are struggling. Let's talk. I would love to help you release what's holding you back and teach you the tools to help yourself. Dm me or schedule a call through the link in my bio.

We all avoid emotions to some extent. If we're willing to ...

2026-03-27T20:37:30Z

We all avoid emotions to some extent. If we're willing to admit it to ourselves or anyone else another story. It's ok if we are doing this, but we don't want to get stuck there. We must allow and process these emotions if we want to move forward with our lives. It also makes the journey much better!

Everyone wants the shortcut to healing including me. The short ...

2026-03-27T16:55:19Z

Everyone wants the shortcut to healing including me. The short way is almost always through all of the things we don't want to feel. Doing the work and gaining the tools makes this journey much more pleasant and cuts down the time a lot. In the end, we still must go through it in order to move forward with our lives though.

We go through so many things in life and end up causing harm to ...

2026-03-27T16:07:00Z

We go through so many things in life and end up causing harm to others whether we intend to or not. I've done my share of things that I regret and I have no excuse for. Some things I realize I cannot make amends for. I have also done what I can to apologize, make it right and change my behavior. The biggest thing I've done is learned to forgive myself for these things. This also makes it easier to move forward and not perpetuate the same destructive behavior. Everyone can do this!

I don't recommend betting on the lottery, but your chances ...

2026-03-27T14:54:52Z

I don't recommend betting on the lottery, but your chances are better of winning it than getting a narcissist to change. The sure bet is betting on yourself though. No matter how many times we fall short, we always have control over how we show up and we can always get better. Bet on yourself and you always win!

It almost feels like relief after getting out of a toxic ...

2026-03-26T17:34:52Z

It almost feels like relief after getting out of a toxic relationship, but it doesn't completely usually. It takes work to embrace this new peace we have. Too many people wait and put off getting help because of too many reasons. Don't put off your life for anyone or any reason. Get the help to move forward!

Processing our thoughts and emotions is never easy, although ...

2026-03-26T17:33:49Z

Processing our thoughts and emotions is never easy, although it's relatively simple. We often avoid doing it because we're not sure how. We also avoid it because it's uncomfortable and it takes time and energy. The reality is we have to deal with them either way. Processing simply allows us to let them go and move forward with our lives.

The thoughts and emotions seem like they just keep coming and ...

2026-03-26T17:33:05Z

The thoughts and emotions seem like they just keep coming and will not go away. Until we process them in a way that allows us to release them, they won't. Time may help a little, but it takes forever. Getting help and support cuts years or decades off the time and it makes the process less miserable.

We often feel like there is more we could or should have done. ...

2026-03-26T15:07:17Z

We often feel like there is more we could or should have done. Often, this is simply not true. We are often doing everything we can in the moment we are in with the skills we have. Allowing yourself grace and compassion for doing everything you could do is one of the steps in allowing yourself to forgive yourself.

There will never be a right time to start doing the healing work. ...

2026-03-25T16:56:10Z

There will never be a right time to start doing the healing work. We simply must make the decision to begin and do the work. Find the support in whatever way works for you. We are going to deal with the emotions either way even if we don’t do the work to heal. Rarely do they work through on their own.

Narcissists only care about supply and nothing else. There's ...

2026-03-25T16:00:27Z

Narcissists only care about supply and nothing else. There's no hope with or for them with anything else. They'll do whatever they need to do in order to get supply. When we are no longer good or enough supply for them, they'll find it somewhere else. We can choose to not participate in their game!

Being with a narcissist feels a lot like being in court and we ...

2026-03-25T15:34:39Z

Being with a narcissist feels a lot like being in court and we often have little to no defense. Everything is our fault and we're guilty according to them. There's not much we can do besides participate as little as possible and get out as soon as we can. It is one court we can simply leave.

We often think if we did a little more they wouldn't treat us ...

2026-03-25T15:21:00Z

We often think if we did a little more they wouldn't treat us this way or they wouldn't do that. This simply isn't true especially with toxic people. They show us over time they are unwilling or incapable. Accepting this is the hard part. We must choose ourselves and our own peace. This is the only real way forward for us!

It's not easy to learn from our lessons already and it makes ...

2026-03-24T18:51:15Z

It's not easy to learn from our lessons already and it makes it that much harder when we are beating ourselves up. In order to learn from them we must allow and embrace what we feel even when we don't want to. Then we can think more clearly to actually learn from it. It's much less miserable too!

It's not the complicated things that we do to heal. It's ...

2026-03-24T17:46:40Z

It's not the complicated things that we do to heal. It's the simple practices that we continue to do that have made the most difference for me and my clients. It's not always easy, which is why it's hard to continue to do it. Kindness and compassion for ourselves is an essential part of healing!

We often continue the abuse to ourselves inside ourselves after ...

2026-03-24T15:59:43Z

We often continue the abuse to ourselves inside ourselves after we're out of toxic relationships. This is normal, but not healthy for ourselves or moving forward in our lives. We must do the work to let go of those old thoughts that came from all the abuse. It's not just the person we let go of, it's the thoughts too.

Narcissists weave lies, deception and confusion in levels that ...

2026-03-24T15:38:18Z

Narcissists weave lies, deception and confusion in levels that seem impossible unless you've experienced it yourself. It's all for control and power. We don't have to participate though. We can opt out of this nightmare and find people who are willing and ready to support us in doing so.

Too many times we rerun what we've done and said and question ...

2026-03-23T18:14:04Z

Too many times we rerun what we've done and said and question everything we did. We couldn't have made things better because we were not the only issue in the relationship. They were just trying to get us to believe we were the only problem. You can't have a healthy relationship with a toxic person!

It's probably always an emotional rollercoaster. New levels ...

2026-03-23T17:30:51Z

It's probably always an emotional rollercoaster. New levels of discomfort as we grow and settle into more peace in our lives. It feels like everything's gone wrong, but it's usually a sign everything is going right. We simply need to remember in those moments, nothing's actually wrong and to be kind to ourselves.

Grief is not easy to work through and there are many layers to ...

2026-03-23T16:17:04Z

Grief is not easy to work through and there are many layers to it. We end up feeling like we shouldn't feel the way we do, or it shouldn't feel this way or take this much time. It is a very individual experience for everyone. We get to feel the way we do and go through it in our own way and time.

Except it's anything but fun! Narcissists warp your ...

2026-03-23T15:27:41Z

Except it's anything but fun! Narcissists warp your perception of reality, making it difficult to distinguish fact from fiction. Your self image is distorted, & you become increasingly dependent on their version of reality. Shatter the mirror and take back your reality. You don't have to live in their illusion!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.

Most of us want or have wanted to warn and tell everyone that our ...

2026-03-22T17:51:32Z

Most of us want or have wanted to warn and tell everyone that our ex is a narcissist. We want the validation and to warn others. In reality, it's almost never useful and it usually causes more drama and chaos in our lives. Other people also won't see it unless they've been the target. Moving on and indifference is often the best thing we can do.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.

We are trained and programmed by toxic people to not feel enough. ...

2026-03-22T16:52:24Z

We are trained and programmed by toxic people to not feel enough. Part of this is projection and part of it comes as a result of always being wrong as well as the gaslighting and abuse. We often end up taking on this belief even after the relationship. It is simply not true! You are enough just as you are!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.

When we're tired, sick or just not feeling well, it seems ...

2026-03-22T15:53:17Z

When we're tired, sick or just not feeling well, it seems even more like everything has gone wrong. Or worse, like we're going backwards in our healing. This is the time to give ourselves extra grace and compassion. Our minds don't work as well when our body's are not working well and that's ok. Allow yourself time and kindness to work through it.

We can't wait for the life we want to live. We must allow ...

2026-03-22T15:08:14Z

We can't wait for the life we want to live. We must allow ourselves to let go of the past pain and hurt. This requires us to feel all of these things, process and release them. It's not easy, but it's worth it. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself through this process. Do the work to allow yourself to build and embrace the life you truly want!

Awareness is probably the most important thing we can develop. We ...

2026-03-21T18:03:12Z

Awareness is probably the most important thing we can develop. We also often use every new awareness to beat ourselves up with. We think we should have know what we just became aware of and it's simply not true. Celebrate new awareness and understanding and be kind to yourself above all else!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.

Stubborn determination is one of the absolute best traits we can ...

2026-03-21T16:58:18Z

Stubborn determination is one of the absolute best traits we can have in my perspective. We can use this against ourselves too, but that's the same for most things. It's also one of the things that can help us get through the most impossible of situations and build and live a life we love! Celebrate this part in yourself and others!

Trust is something that is built over time and without ...

2026-03-21T16:06:15Z

Trust is something that is built over time and without expectation. Good people don't mind taking the time to build this trust. Learning to trust ourselves is the first most important thing. Then we can allow ourselves to begin building trust in others as the relationships grow. It's never expected though.

We are all responsible for our own emotions, learning and ...

2026-03-21T14:51:49Z

We are all responsible for our own emotions, learning and growing. It's great to get help and support from others, but we ultimately must do it on our own. Make sure you get help from people who actually support your growth and definitely make sure you're investing in people who actually want to grow. Some people simply have no interest in it and that's ok. You may want to limit time with them though, they will definitely slow your progress.

What most of us have gone through is crazier than anyone, ...

2026-03-20T18:28:56Z

What most of us have gone through is crazier than anyone, including us, would easily believe. The hard part is that it's actually true. This makes it even harder to find people who understand and have the capacity or understanding to support us. These people are out there and ready to show up for us. It's not always easy to find them. Continue looking until you find them and allow them to help you through your healing journey.

Beating ourselves up for new awareness is a regular thing for too ...

2026-03-20T18:00:08Z

Beating ourselves up for new awareness is a regular thing for too many of us. Awareness is the most important thing! We didn’t know what we didn’t know until we became aware of it and that’s ok. Beating ourselves up holds us back from using the new awareness to move forward in our lives.

We beat ourselves up and then we beat ourselves up for beating ...

2026-03-20T17:18:38Z

We beat ourselves up and then we beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up. This cycle is incredibly destructive in our lives and for our lives. Although we may never be perfect at being kind to ourselves, we can always get better. This is another reason healing work is so essential. Do the work!

Smear campaigns are a setup in the discard of the relationship ...

2026-03-20T17:07:43Z

Smear campaigns are a setup in the discard of the relationship with a narcissist. Unfortunately, often they also include flying monkeys. This is the setup to finally isolate you from everyone you haven't already been isolated from. This also allows the narcissist to control the entire narrative of what happened in the relationship. Leaving you looking like the bad guy and them looking like the unfortunate victim.

We all get stuck sometimes in wanting other people to change. The ...

2026-03-19T17:56:54Z

We all get stuck sometimes in wanting other people to change. The reality with narcissists is they simply won't change, regardless of anything we do. The only thing we really can do is to focus on us, our lives and our own healing. This is the one thing we can do something about in all relationships.

Narcissists literally do not care about us and view us as ...

2026-03-19T16:45:04Z

Narcissists literally do not care about us and view us as completely replaceable. They only want us when they need us for something. When they don’t need us, they’re literally irritated by our presence and existence. We don’t have to settle for what they give. We all deserve better!

Whether everything is actually going wrong or it just feels like ...

2026-03-19T15:38:24Z

Whether everything is actually going wrong or it just feels like it. Allowing all the emotions surrounding this to surface so we can process them and release them is essential for moving forward with our lives. It's never easy to do, but it's not easy to carry or avoid these emotions either. Make the time to process them and be kind to yourself throughout your journey!

In our desire and work to heal, we often struggle with feeling ...

2026-03-19T15:02:13Z

In our desire and work to heal, we often struggle with feeling we're not enough for us or anyone else. No matter what you do or what anyone else says. You are enough just the way you are. We can all work to get better and still be enough in the process. We must do the work to embrace this in ourselves though.

Time only allows space to discharge the emotions a little, which ...

2026-03-18T16:43:06Z

Time only allows space to discharge the emotions a little, which makes it easier to let go of them. The emotions we let go of, which is part of healing, is only by accident. Unless we are actively consciously doing the work to heal, we won't make much progress and it will take much longer. We all deserve better than that and we are worth it. Make the time and do the work for you, your family and your future.

Narcissists are jealous of everyone else around us. They want to ...

2026-03-18T16:31:27Z

Narcissists are jealous of everyone else around us. They want to have better relationships with everyone else, but are not willing to build relationships with others. The only thing they will do is to tear down all the relationships we have with everyone else. This is also part of isolating you from everyone else.

Narcissists will absolutely try to destroy you no matter what you ...

2026-03-18T16:22:42Z

Narcissists will absolutely try to destroy you no matter what you do in the relationship or if you leave. There is no way for you to win in these relationships, only survive. Getting out of these relationships isn't easy, but staying is even harder. Ultimately we must make this choice ourselves. No matter what you decide, be kind to you!

We all go through the process of meeting ourselves in our lives. ...

2026-03-18T15:05:49Z

We all go through the process of meeting ourselves in our lives. This isn't easy and it's uncomfortable, hard work. It's also not something that's urgent for most of us. We must choose to do the work to continually find ourselves. Not everyone will choose to do this and that's ok. We all have our own journeys. The most important thing is for you to consciously be on this journey, otherwise we may drift into someone we don't want or want to be.

This is so true! Thank you! Definitely something we could all use ...

2026-03-17T22:20:49Z

In reply to nevent1q…2swq
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This is so true! Thank you! Definitely something we could all use more of.

I help people heal from narcissistic abuse. I know what it's ...

2026-03-17T22:18:16Z

In reply to nevent1q…nnl5
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I help people heal from narcissistic abuse. I know what it's like to go through and I don't want anyone else to have to go through that alone.
It was also really hard for me to find real help. I strive to be the person I wish I had when I was going through this.

Narcissists do everything they can to try to destroy our ...

2026-03-17T17:59:14Z

Narcissists do everything they can to try to destroy our relationships with anyone else. If they can't just do that, they will plant little lies in our minds so we do it for them. It's not easy, but don't simply believe anything someone tells you about anyone else. This may save some good relationships from destruction.

Drama and chaos is what narcissists want. Gaslighting you is ...

2026-03-17T16:58:18Z

Drama and chaos is what narcissists want. Gaslighting you is definitely one of the ways they achieve this. If you aren't reacting to them the way they want, then they will try to bait you into it and then gaslight you. The more we see it, the easier it gets to avoid and not participate.