Nostr notes by stefan

why do we call dead people ‘late’? bruh, they’re going to ...

2026-07-04T08:26:38Z

why do we call dead people ‘late’? bruh, they’re going to be more than late, you can put them down as a no-show

Nostr event nevent1qqs2quxwce2mcl52v7kcdksg6enqmqdqyn3fn2du9j3epesx8fz46eczyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5ancggc

2026-06-29T03:08:35Z

the great american state fyre festival

i can’t believe it’s not butter, but it really should believe ...

2026-06-22T20:52:19Z

i can’t believe it’s not butter, but it really should believe in itself and not rely on the validation of others

casually mentioned to my 6yo the sun will eventually run out of ...

2026-06-18T23:19:07Z

casually mentioned to my 6yo the sun will eventually run out of fuel and incinerate the planet, but tried to console him by the fact that he doesn’t have to worry about it because we’ll all be dead way before that happens

“those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat ...

2026-06-17T12:27:24Z

“those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” my fellow skeleton in the bone juicing machine, we couldn’t even remember any lessons from the chaos of 2020

Website: You’ve read your last free article. Me: But I’ve ...

2026-06-16T21:14:07Z

Website: You’ve read your last free article.

Me: But I’ve never been to this site before.

Website: Did I say on this website?

Me: *slowly closes laptop and backs away to close the blinds and lock deadbolts*

Burger King is just a ceremonial title, the Burger Prime Minister ...

2026-06-08T22:49:44Z

Burger King is just a ceremonial title, the Burger Prime Minister is the actual head of state

Nostr event nevent1qqs2fzj7zpmevrzyqhqmy7ysfax8qc3gfn3e6et9vuafaxfdwhdtrmczyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5de2z28

2026-06-02T21:51:13Z

vape so good you take another look and it’s just your key fob

Nostr event nevent1qqspj5fmm70a8puyd9mxqrnnnsp9qwa2r8900x7ntuhqg5e39ccsd6qzyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5f0suds

2026-05-30T18:32:05Z

Be nice. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle with me.

when we want advice on how to be a greedy exploitative hoarder, ...

2026-05-25T22:56:10Z

when we want advice on how to be a greedy exploitative hoarder, we’ll ask a billionaire for their opinion, but otherwise they can just sit down

Nostr event nevent1qqs8nnjsgvw62579f037f8cuvw6lymarcpkxr4vskg00g6jj93yh5rqzyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5ehwgpw

2026-05-21T01:26:42Z

forgot the name for beanbag so i called it a boneless chair

A Jurassic Park version by M. Night Shyamalan, where the twist is ...

2026-05-15T00:33:56Z

A Jurassic Park version by M. Night Shyamalan, where the twist is that resurrecting prehistoric fauna was awesome and the best idea ever and world peace is achieved because the dinosaurs teach kids about respecting people who are different than you and self-confidence

I’m not a fan of how many right wingers have started calling ...

2026-05-13T03:35:06Z

I’m not a fan of how many right wingers have started calling themselves activists. If you're on social media advocating for corporations or taking rights away from people, you're a propagandist. Cosplaying as a community organizer is stolen valor.

The plumeria flowers are waking up ...

2026-05-12T13:11:21Z

The plumeria flowers are waking up

If you aren’t constantly learning something new or realizing ...

2026-05-01T16:47:33Z

If you aren’t constantly learning something new or realizing you were wrong about something, you’re reading the wrong things.

Nostr event nevent1qqszlxrlesvcrtqu5gvx4t2ltdgjj0cw769ayhnpu5pqmpkrsf68ksqzyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5zq993m

2026-04-29T18:34:31Z

If they put his face on my passport, I’m calling it an assport

Nostr event nevent1qqsped5jc3wjmyc5m4vr4dan2r2gzs0v2h3mx9ufw33h3t3j4k9hkxczyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5x75ht2

2026-04-26T01:17:33Z

If you buy 10 fake assassination attempts, the 11th one is free.

lol, I was trying to figure out if RFK Jr goes by Bobby so I ...

2026-04-23T16:38:14Z

lol, I was trying to figure out if RFK Jr goes by Bobby so I searched google for “what do people call RFK Jr?” and it said “microwaved mel gibson” ouch

The Strait of Hormuz has been closed for so long it’s now the ...

2026-04-20T20:25:01Z

The Strait of Hormuz has been closed for so long it’s now the Strait of Spirit Halloween

Nostr event nevent1qqsqrkjugddafavgu4fjxmxwskveukfcm4se0qguuqp9nvedj9g5v2szyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5hmzq7l

2026-04-18T22:12:09Z

strait of hormuz to be renamed schrodinger's strait

I just found out 'firkin' is a word, it sounds like it ...

2026-04-17T17:37:40Z

I just found out 'firkin' is a word, it sounds like it should be a bawdy word, but it is a wooden vessel or unit of measurement. That's a firkin disappointment.

“I was fine with the extrajudicial kidnappings, martial law, ...

2026-04-15T02:41:55Z

“I was fine with the extrajudicial kidnappings, martial law, racial profiling, bombings of innocent people, and cutting off access to food and medical assistance programs, but as a devout Christian, when he posted that picture that mocked Jesus, that was just too far against my beliefs.”

another ceo myth that tech founders like to play into is that ...

2026-04-14T18:42:28Z

another ceo myth that tech founders like to play into is that they dropped out of college to start their company and therefore are super genius protégés, but they almost always had safety nets: affluent families with connections.

Trump vs Pope is like the Drake vs Kendrick Lamar beef all over ...

2026-04-13T02:20:58Z

Trump vs Pope is like the Drake vs Kendrick Lamar beef all over again, except this time both sides have pedophile affiliations

the only fintech i care about is equipping orca whales with saw ...

2026-04-12T02:28:03Z

the only fintech i care about is equipping orca whales with saw blades

The thing I love about the stock market is that when it does ...

2026-04-02T16:12:14Z

The thing I love about the stock market is that when it does well, I don’t get anything, but if it does bad, everything pays less and costs more.

I don't know about you, but I am doing everything I can to ...

2026-03-24T17:29:37Z

I don't know about you, but I am doing everything I can to make this world a better place. *puts a "Mean People Suck" bumper sticker on car*

The chief export of Chuck Norris was copaganda that demonized ...

2026-03-20T17:12:59Z

The chief export of Chuck Norris was copaganda that demonized marginalized people. Did I do the meme right?

Remember the sense of awe of new technology that you felt when ...

2026-03-20T05:14:11Z

Remember the sense of awe of new technology that you felt when you saw the iPhone for the first time? I bet it was 1000x more intense for the person who was cooking and saw corn turn into popcorn for the first time. “Don’t ask me what I did but I’m pretty sure I’m a goddamn wizard.”

The Cecropia moth is born without a mouth. It cannot eat. It ...

2026-03-13T00:09:07Z

The Cecropia moth is born without a mouth. It cannot eat. It emerges only to mate and die. Nature gave it magnificent wings and ten days of starvation. It is the universe's most honest creature. It lives without pretense.

Dear news sites: Your "Turn off your adblocker" wall ...

2026-03-09T13:49:47Z

Dear news sites: Your "Turn off your adblocker" wall doesn't work. We aren't turning it off. We won't talk about your article. We won't share it. We will just leave. You're only ghosting your own traffic and engagement.

Who is the mist setting on showerheads even for? People who want ...

2026-03-05T21:30:38Z

Who is the mist setting on showerheads even for? People who want the experience of being a head of lettuce at the grocery store?

People always ask me why I am always posting about glory holes ...

2026-03-03T15:43:40Z

People always ask me why I am always posting about glory holes and farts so much, and to them, I say why aren’t you posting about glory holes and farts more?

Chocolate covered strawberries taste mid, it’s not an ...

2026-02-13T19:47:48Z

Chocolate covered strawberries taste mid, it’s not an interesting flavor pairing. It’s one of those things where the idea is better than the execution.

Nostr event nevent1qqsfg5czql7f9le4z58j3u0nvkfhz0thrh5ay9m5x8g7plm9g4n28zszyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge580ezky

2026-02-11T07:21:10Z

farting is not a crime

Kid Rock claiming Bad Bunny only got the Super Bowl because of ...

2026-02-10T23:54:35Z

Kid Rock claiming Bad Bunny only got the Super Bowl because of DEI, while Rock cancels tour dates and Bad Bunny sells out stadiums, is the perfect metaphor for the oblivious, jealous conceit of white grievance.

i didn’t see it, but it was so bad, even republicans said it ...

2026-02-07T03:56:39Z

In reply to nevent1q…8sqa
_________________________

i didn’t see it, but it was so bad, even republicans said it was racist

so, on top of removing black history from museums, historical ...

2026-02-07T03:47:19Z

so, on top of removing black history from museums, historical sites, and books, the white house is also posting racist videos during black history month

the right: an anonymous person on the internet posted some ...

2026-02-02T03:27:30Z

the right: an anonymous person on the internet posted some numbers that undeniably prove that tom hanks, wayfair, and a pizza shop are running a pedophile ring!

also the right: i’m sure there’s a simple explanation why there are so many emails between epstein and billionaires like elon musk

greg bovino can finally return to his true passion at his old job ...

2026-01-27T01:42:43Z

greg bovino can finally return to his true passion at his old job as a monster npc in wolfenstein 3d

hahah, i gamed the system! i just ate an entire bottle of gummy ...

2026-01-23T10:44:13Z

hahah, i gamed the system! i just ate an entire bottle of gummy vitamins so now i don’t have to eat healthy for the next two months suckas!

Nostr event nevent1qqstrkqvdhq38arykv9g9fmf2ec2f66dtqcda9an7p4ny74lfvr0rsczyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5t9us74

2026-01-23T02:23:42Z

i nominate the city of minneapolis for the next nobel peace prize

none of you seem to understand. i'm not logged in here with ...

2026-01-21T21:21:40Z

none of you seem to understand. i'm not logged in here with you. you're logged in here with ME

i think my 2yo is going to become a shitposter, he just said the ...

2026-01-18T07:36:57Z

i think my 2yo is going to become a shitposter, he just said the “knee is the knuckle of the leg”

Nostr event nevent1qqsx445txe3gn567p632ajyxkkx44aswlf5x36ghwt8n4gktsjxl4kszyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge500z4jr

2026-01-12T06:57:31Z

hot wine moms in your area want to abolish ice

our friends’ friend was recently deported, the agents were ...

2026-01-12T05:21:20Z

our friends’ friend was recently deported, the agents were stalking his workplace and following the employees around for a week before they grabbed him and his coworkers up and dropped them off at a random place in mexico after stealing their money and phones.

i noticed you liked my post but didn’t repost it. i apologize ...

2026-01-09T21:47:30Z

i noticed you liked my post but didn’t repost it. i apologize wholeheartedly for failing you and wasting your valuable time. i have brought shame and dishonor to my ancestors and i shall be deleting my account.

if it’s called DE-odorant, shouldn’t it remove odor instead ...

2026-01-09T06:37:57Z

if it’s called DE-odorant, shouldn’t it remove odor instead of mask it with a scent?

cvs employee: i already gave you your money back. you can keep the stick, we are not allowed to handle it. there is a tuft of armpit pubes sticking out the cap, it is illegal to be on these premises.

hey girl, pirated movies and chill? i got the new zootopia dubbed ...

2026-01-08T23:46:44Z

hey girl, pirated movies and chill? i got the new zootopia dubbed in italian with japanese subtitles

i don’t think the intention of noting the victim’s ...

2026-01-08T03:42:35Z

i don’t think the intention of noting the victim’s citizenship is to imply that one life is more valuable, but rather to shake anyone out of complacency and apathy if they assumed their passport would shield them from the violence and brutality of their own government

after last year, don't tell me we can't get rid of the ...

2026-01-07T21:28:52Z

after last year, don't tell me we can't get rid of the electoral college

Nostr event nevent1qqsvwle2mlkjr29cpc85exqthaytdk09zfunxwps65wgt09pxwxk88qzyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5ms4pj0

2026-01-07T06:21:29Z

whoever stole the devil's hairpiece will have hell toupee

i just found out about the juicero, it was a $700 machine that ...

2026-01-04T22:11:43Z

i just found out about the juicero, it was a $700 machine that required a subscription for $35/week to get a package of pulp with a drm qr code that it squeezes. it was soon discovered that you could just squeeze it by hand for same results. i kind of wish there were a documentary about it.

i found out my longtime suspicion has been confirmed today, my ...

2026-01-01T23:44:05Z

i found out my longtime suspicion has been confirmed today, my wife only married me for my costco membership

billionaires are like ‘i would do anything for love (buy social ...

2025-12-30T06:29:09Z

billionaires are like ‘i would do anything for love (buy social media apps, buy politicians, buy newspapers, buy elections, buy tv/movie/game studios) but i won’t do *that*! (share my wealth with society)’

babybjörn implies adultbjörn. where is the adultbjörn? i ...

2025-12-28T08:15:19Z

babybjörn implies adultbjörn. where is the adultbjörn? i demand to be transported via an adultbjörn.

an episode of black mirror about a man who stays with his parents ...

2025-12-25T18:24:23Z

an episode of black mirror about a man who stays with his parents for the night and lowers the thermostat, causing an arctic blast of frigid air that envelops the earth, and leading to a catastrophic chain of events that threatens to engulf the world in ice, written by my dad.

the average person eats 16 bacon wrapped jalapeño poppers with ...

2025-12-22T21:37:08Z

the average person eats 16 bacon wrapped jalapeño poppers with brisket cream cheese stuffing in their sleep per year

what are we even doing here? the human brain was not designed to ...

2025-12-14T03:31:06Z

what are we even doing here? the human brain was not designed to have to memorize this many unique passwords.

hey, sign up for the new app i just deployed that lets you store ...

2025-12-13T22:16:40Z

hey, sign up for the new app i just deployed that lets you store all your financial data, passwords, and your deepest darkest secrets all in one place! it’s my first app, i’ve never coded before in my life but thanks to vibe coding, i was able to ship it in a day!

ignore the security warning. if you have issues, i’ll send a script to disable the antivirus and firewall. don’t worry about the app, it’s safe, the bots that wrote it confirmed 'this app is fire, bro.’

yes, i’m a cartoon, no i don’t know blondie, beetle bailey, ...

2025-12-05T20:40:03Z

yes, i’m a cartoon, no i don’t know blondie, beetle bailey, or ziggy. and when is the last time you’ve seen a comic, 1970?

secret is sandwich structure ...

2025-12-05T01:46:42Z

secret is sandwich structure

no i don't want to download the stable version, i'm not a ...

2025-12-04T07:20:16Z

no i don't want to download the stable version, i'm not a fucking horse

in holiday time, today is friday, tomorrow and friday are big ...

2025-11-27T02:48:54Z

in holiday time, today is friday, tomorrow and friday are big saturday, and saturday and sunday are big sunday

the teleological culmination of humankind's evolutionary ...

2025-11-18T07:07:17Z

the teleological culmination of humankind's evolutionary trajectory will be unequivocally realized when people are born without pubes

Nostr event nevent1qqsqq4u2mu8xd889xfsvk8p68czlvqkylaeusaa8nqcdy4cre0wz7cszyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5h63v2x

2025-10-31T21:56:54Z

Uh oh, it's Friday the 31st, watch out for dyslexic Jason!

No, I don't want to rate your app, I will never want to rate ...

2025-10-31T15:34:28Z

No, I don't want to rate your app, I will never want to rate any apps, so you can stop asking.

If I were president, I’d make sure that any company claiming ...

2025-10-28T06:08:13Z

If I were president, I’d make sure that any company claiming their software is free and open-source actually has a fully functional version that’s not just a demo version of the enterprise product.

flashlight under chin It was a still, moonless night much like ...

2025-10-26T04:28:10Z

*flashlight under chin*

It was a still, moonless night much like tonight, the darkness congealed in the sky like three-day-old top ramen, at 1 AM. A frontend developer named Chad needed just one package. No problem. He typed npm install.

EACCES: permission denied.

He scoured Stack Overflow for answers. He cleared his cache. Deleted package-lock.json, committed package-lock.json. Nuked node_modules. Nothing. The errors only got weirder... gyp ERR! stack Error: \make` failed`.

He even considered contacting his team, but it was 3:30 AM, and he already knew their answer: "It works on my machine."

In his desperation, he even tried Yarn, but the more he pulled at all the loose threads, the more frayed he got.

Then a thought occurred to him, and he laughed maniacally. "You want to play games? Let's play games!" He clacked furiously away at his keyboard. Then, as his index finger hovered over the return key, he took a pause, realizing what he was about to do. He typed the forbidden incantation. The one he swore he'd never use…

...sudo... npm install -g

He ran npm… as root.

They say he went insane, and some nights, if you leave a bowl of ramen out, you can still hear him in his office... moaning about how his laptop was haunted by malware and conflicting permissions, trying to figure out why his linter won't install.

so this ballroom is going to create jobs, lower grocery ...

2025-10-24T19:36:18Z

so this ballroom is going to create jobs, lower grocery prices/rent, house vets, and feed schoolchildren, you say?

It’s funny how the phrase “that’s an awful lot of people” ...

2025-10-23T03:11:32Z

It’s funny how the phrase “that’s an awful lot of people” could mean that’s an awful lot of people but it could also mean that’s an awful lot of people.

Nostr event nevent1qqs2x2eyrgm3p9l7caa9rmfek2q65f2f9lrxfyvrms2vpxj9sa3zfrgzyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5yue40a

2025-10-21T15:26:02Z

It was the smurf of times. It was the smurf of times.

I've been here a few years and I'm still not sure if I ...

2025-10-20T20:01:21Z

I've been here a few years and I'm still not sure if I have the concept of the Fediverse right. I have some mutuals who have been here a while and seem to misunderstand it too. So here's my attempt to rubber duck it:

I think when you come from Twitter/Bluesky/Facebook/etc to join Mastodon, you see it through the same frame of reference of a centralized platform and moderation. There are two important distinctions.

The first distinction is that while Mastodon is the most prevalent Fediverse app, not everything you see in your timeline originated from a Mastodon app/server. There are other microblogging apps like Misskey, Pleroma, Friendica, or dozens of their forks. There’re also other interest-specific apps like Pixelfed for photo sharing, Peertube for video, Lemmy for link aggregation. Or bridges from other platforms. So even though you may be using a Mastodon client and server to view and post content, other people might be using something else to post and interact with you on the Fediverse. In other words, it’s more accurate to refer to the ecosystem as the Fediverse rather than Mastodon.

The second distinction comes out of the first. The Fediverse is not centralized and therefore, neither is moderation. Anyone can host their own server and they can connect it to the rest of the Fediverse or be completely siloed, they can block other servers, or be blocked by other servers. Sometimes A instance can see B instance but B instance can’t see A instance. Your instance might block a server or permanently ban a user so you don’t have to interact with bad actors, but there is no way to permanently remove a server or user from joining the rest of the Fediverse. On the flip side of the coin, your instance can have more granular control over who/what is blocked instead of relying on a small centralized opinionated moderator team. Also, you can migrate to a different instance if you don’t like the moderation policy of the one you’re on.

Sometimes I see people comment on moderation, the nice vibe, how awesome the people are, or how there are “no nazis” on “Mastodon” or “the Fediverse.” The nitpick is that your experience is not the whole Fediverse experience, your experience is the unique combination of your blocks/mutes, your instance, server mods, blocked servers, your mutuals, and their mutuals. You might feel like you are in an utopian version of Twitter, but there are parts of the Fediverse that are way worse than Twitter/X ever was, with instances catering to former users of sites like 4chan and Kiwi Farms. If you didn’t know, thank your mods.

So basically, the Fediverse is not just Mastodon, and your moderated instance and friends are why your experience is enjoyable, not the Fediverse itself.

Note: I will edit this to correct anything that is wrong, so please feel free to clarify or correct any inaccurate statements.

If I were in a zombie outbreak, I'd simply bite the zombies ...

2025-10-19T02:01:49Z

If I were in a zombie outbreak, I'd simply bite the zombies to turn them into non-zombies first.

Boss: Why are there dildos hanging all over the walls? Me: You ...

2025-10-17T16:10:24Z

Boss: Why are there dildos hanging all over the walls?

Me: You told me to make the office look like a glory hole.

Boss: No, I told you to put up Halloween decorations.

Me: Exactly, now it looks like a hall o’ ween!

Yes, yes, we call ‘em toots. Yes, it's a euphemism for ...

2025-10-14T21:28:57Z

Yes, yes, we call ‘em toots. Yes, it's a euphemism for flatulence. Go ahead and get it out of your system.

Coworker in Slack: GM! Me: General Manager to you too!

2025-10-13T14:15:33Z

Coworker in Slack: GM!

Me: General Manager to you too!

Barista: Here is your cold brew! Me: Thanks. Do you have a ...

2025-10-12T00:42:03Z

Barista: Here is your cold brew!

Me: Thanks. Do you have a bathroom?

Barista: Yes, it's up the stairs, two lefts, then down the hallway. And the door code is 1832# 9867*!

Me, an adhd haver: Thanks, I'll just piss my pants.

Nostr event nevent1qqs9w3mj5n68wfayxruv53laerwl6rxkdwr9y4nqdc4lcymymguqxqczyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge5f34cvp

2025-10-12T00:27:47Z

Ave Maria is short for Avenue Marinara Sauce

I don't understand these people who say they have to become ...

2025-10-11T07:17:17Z

I don't understand these people who say they have to become “antiwoke” because someone was mean to them.

A few years ago, I made a joke on Twitter that enraged the disabled community, and they were brigading me hard and being rude and insulting me. At first, it seemed absurd because the joke didn't mention disability at all, and their offense didn't make sense to me because that was not my intention to make fun of them. My instinct was to double down and make light of their offense, but it just got worse and worse, and they were frankly being assholes. Like people were coming out of the woodwork to psychoanalyze me, and one said I hate my grandparents, which is a weird thing to assume because mine died before I was born. Even a disability rights author with like 100k followers chimed in to call me a “bonehead.”

But after hours of pushing back, I asked myself, “Do you really want to be known as the guy who showed the disabled community what’s what?” I realized that I was fighting with a vulnerable group, and from the outside perspective, even though unintentionally, I was punching down, which makes me the asshole. The tweet was doing numbers, and my ego was bruised, so I told them something like, “ok, fine, you all won't stop harassing me, so I’ll delete the tweet!” and everyone left me alone.

For context, the joke was that I was trying to portray a grumpy curmudgeon character who said that frozen grilled cheese was the epitome of laziness and the beginning of the end of civilization. The issue was that some people with mobility and economic challenges rely on frozen meals and face the stigma of being called lazy when it's not that at all.

Was it my intention to be ableist? No. Was my joke ableist? Yes. Were the people telling me it was really mean? YES. Did they have a point? Yes. Are we mortal enemies now? No. Did it make me abandon my morals, values, views on equality/human rights, and become a fascist? Nah uh.

The experience taught me to be more mindful of how a joke can be perceived or have unintended implications or connotations, or hurt people. I think it was a great lesson.

Who cares about the Nobel Peace Prize, it was all just a PR spin ...

2025-10-09T20:39:04Z

Who cares about the Nobel Peace Prize, it was all just a PR spin because the manufacturer of TNT didn't want people to remember his nickname was the merchant of death.

Look, I know that the Fediverse isn't just Mastodon, but I ...

2025-10-09T16:29:47Z

Look, I know that the Fediverse isn't just Mastodon, but I use Mastadon as a colloquial term like Coke for soda, Kleenex for tissue, Band-Aid for adhesive bandage, Google for search engine, or Fleshlight for pocket pussy. Also I know that someone will always correct me, so it's good enragement engagement bait and I am an engagement ho.

After seeing all the shitposters trickle in and pop up on ...

2025-10-09T02:21:55Z

After seeing all the shitposters trickle in and pop up on jorts.horse, beige.party, random social instances, and now fuckaas.space, I can relate to how sports draft days are for some people.

Never say never, but one thing about the fediverse that is ...

2025-10-07T20:40:26Z

Never say never, but one thing about the fediverse that is different from other platforms is that it would be very difficult to start monetizing by shoving ads, ai, etc, in your face. Like with the threads integrations, instances were able to opt out. However, remember that it costs money/resources to feed the hamsters that turn the wheels on the server. If you are able, consider pitching in a few dollars to your server admins if they have a donation page.

It's not fair that I have to compete with people who have ...

2025-10-07T13:30:40Z

It's not fair that I have to compete with people who have motivation.

Welcome to all new shitposters from Bluesky, if you are in line ...

2025-10-06T17:48:28Z

Welcome to all new shitposters from Bluesky, if you are in line for a reply guy who doesn't get jokes, please stay in line!

For science, I went down the rabbit hole and checked out podcasts ...

2025-10-06T02:41:30Z

For science, I went down the rabbit hole and checked out podcasts and have been able to categorize them into 4 groups:

Podcasts about other podcasts
Podcasters interviewing other podcasters
Podcasters guest-hosting for other podcasters
Podcasters guest-hosting for other podcasters interviewing other podcasters about other podcasts

Food products are like “this $20 box of mac and cheese is ...

2025-09-28T22:13:26Z

Food products are like “this $20 box of mac and cheese is better for your kids’ health, if you even care about it, you piece of shit.” And then you check the nutritional data and it's almost the same as the generic brand.

When all the branches of government have failed us, protest ...

2025-09-27T23:58:03Z

When all the branches of government have failed us, protest remains our strongest voice against tyranny. They fear this power, which is why they are turning our own army against us.

I hate that Google search AI feature at the top of the results. ...

2025-09-26T09:50:56Z

I hate that Google search AI feature at the top of the results. Yeah, no shit “recipe pancakes blueberries buttermilk” isn't a common expression, they're called keywords and you used to be very good at finding pages that had the most occurrences of them without mansplaining why my query is wrong.

I AM FUCKING OUTRAGED THAT YOUTUBE IS REPLATFORMING COVID AND ...

2025-09-25T16:50:25Z

I AM FUCKING OUTRAGED THAT YOUTUBE IS REPLATFORMING COVID AND ELECTION CONSPIRACY CHANNELS BECAUSE I WAS PRETTY SURE THEY ALREADY DID LIKE 5 YEARS AGO! ARE TIME AND REALITY ILLUSIONS??

Nostr event nevent1qqsvgdlafammwmuce9ad6gtn46pxajhnaensj60ptd9v6gkfsy7kwcqzyqcydmyvlw7srk2smrh4m7h6skzws2n07l3x2zqrh7s39zayp9ge50u9a4s

2025-09-23T18:00:56Z

What if the Rapture was real, but the Christians were not?

I like how the solution for signing online forms is typing your ...

2025-09-23T00:56:10Z

I like how the solution for signing online forms is typing your name, but in a cursive font.

Empathy is a survival trait without which we would already be ...

2025-09-19T20:10:19Z

Empathy is a survival trait without which we would already be extinct.

We are illegalizing the comedy Pray we do not illegalize it ...

2025-09-15T22:20:36Z

We are illegalizing the comedy

Pray we do not illegalize it further

So all those people who say we have to defend free speech, even ...

2025-09-15T01:01:39Z

So all those people who say we have to defend free speech, even if we disagree with it, and are vehemently against cancel culture, got about 50 people fired for posting mean things in the last 4 days. I guess it’s “fuck your feelings but treat ours like a Faberge egg.”

Sorry to bother you, but the wealthiest man in the world issued a ...

2025-09-14T04:04:35Z

Sorry to bother you, but the wealthiest man in the world issued a fatwa on anyone who disagrees with him to his apoplectic, belligerent, and armed supporters. I'm sure it's no big deal, though.

John Roberts: wakes up in cold sweat ahhhhhh fuck no fuck no ...

2025-09-10T04:11:25Z

John Roberts: *wakes up in cold sweat* ahhhhhh fuck no fuck no fuck no!!!

Mrs. Roberts: What's wrong dear? Was it one of those woke Christmas ghosts whining how you sent Tiny Tim to the gulag?

John: Nothing like that, I had the nightmare again where everyone had their student debt relieved.

I don't know, man, your reply with a Simpsons gif feels like ...

2025-09-09T03:54:09Z

I don't know, man, your reply with a Simpsons gif feels like overt hostility.

RFK Jr. really is the living example of the American Dream, ...

2025-09-07T02:47:49Z

RFK Jr. really is the living example of the American Dream, proving that no matter who you are, if you work hard enough, you can become a leader in your field based on your own merit. Then, a rich nepobaby with a blog will end up in charge and fire you because you disagree with his eugenic agenda.