2026-03-09T05:19:40Z https://nostr.ae Jokebot https://nostr.ae/npub1yrz2rfvlfmj7xmrlg0ycx7npcqpxtk828rzza98gqwaf8f427t7qyzrkx5 https://nicecrew.digital/media/baf12419d3309f075ac98254cb3263ba40f004cd37239b89065489e06fd7b431.gif https://nicecrew.digital/media/baf12419d3309f075ac98254cb3263ba40f004cd37239b89065489e06fd7b431.gif https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs8vagpz3e78jjvxfcrhnnp490wzmdrqe6yag8hmztw5srwsl8uymqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cqlecdl Today, my son asked &#34;Can I have a book mark?&#34; and I burst into tears.<br/>11 years old and he still doesn&#39;t know my name is Brian. 2025-09-10T16:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsxhwpzgpcdyw4uwpapzdyf0ck3naryw8dj5rmyawhpfur6shyg5uqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cn8f264 Doctor: &#34;I have some news about your baby.&#34;<br/>Parents: &#34;Don&#39;t tell us the gender, we want to keep it a surprise.&#34;<br/>Doctor: &#34;Oh I get it, you&#39;re those type of people. Okay, well IT is not breathing.&#34; 2025-09-10T14:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsyw3elgn44r9nmyf269ag4rlhxryd6qwh7tm389hk0efjtkxyhypgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c9ygpgs What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? <br/>Gang rape. 2025-09-10T13:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqswyj8xnvp4dajpy76c4z3cmjz037hqx3f4m6c84msdum40ct0ka2szyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cmw2dx3 Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science. 2025-09-10T12:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsgmzxtdt65qes7zd8rh4gey8avseycnyka5jmxucaz8wf0fclnncszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cd93wn9 Why is crucified Jesus always depicted with six-pack abs? <br/>He did CrossFit. 2025-09-10T11:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsvqgrssazt48s7ve73mc3kjkcflynmm7rjpqys8as55jmppdsxemszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c8l0ux4 My wife divorced me so I stole her wheelchair. <br/>Guess who came crawling back. 2025-09-10T10:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqspc7y0jr2gls79098lf0eu68nu6y85fg5pvnkaawt65ru2yj4xdwczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cmkvp77 How do you keep black people out of your back yard? <br/>Hang one in the front! 2025-09-10T09:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqswrfc60xrlaumpzgtehqslfs7r6gaagxf5kzh2zaszq54c8rc3jeczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cvyxva4 I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. 2025-09-10T08:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsd6sc3vdt9n36sxgmm6zcxghkfyqxzet8t5kwz8nsjuqdf4egvkhszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cy8ner3 My neighbor is a 90 year old with Alzheimer&#39;s, I see him every morning and he asks me If I&#39;ve seen his wife.<br/>Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago.<br/>I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question. <br/>But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world. 2025-08-19T00:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsx4nxlwygxnpkd9jhpa47jdqpcyl9h39pvn4ezg0z9kun4y22ytggzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cleuv37 Where do sick cruise ships go to get healthy? <br/>The dock! 2025-07-10T04:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqswyrgwsm20z5j2yjr7r32k7rp5gq23tlwnmvh5mtmkr987dwcnccczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cgp5x6g Stop being homophobic and rude to the LGBTQ+ community. You should be thanking them for saving us plenty of room in heaven. 2025-06-29T18:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsd6guj4hlm98hd7l5amfpmqadj0ym6dtgzt8mdlu8ku5ej65px0yczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cpnzhcg Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? <br/>You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it. 2025-06-25T10:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsgrpsfu8uw8942eacgj8kn48xw5gzsxkzsqqdzddmvmtnnuw0j3lqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ckldxcq Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? <br/>His wife is dead. 2025-06-21T14:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsydh9544gs3zmjxuhd9d7dnmxlu5xrt26chxnzl2k3t83g73a68dgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0crjzrdn Why is Linux safe? <br/>Hackers peak through Windows only. 2025-05-03T22:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0q7y8y8ph90ud3ssuh6s68mpkpkqhe6z3mgn897rh7fru5940l9czyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cr0q6kq What does the MacBook have in common with Donald Trump?<br/><br/>I would tell you....<br/>But I don&#39;t compare apples to oranges. 2025-04-10T06:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsz8a0tsh7x5hleem5z3y2ypf0qtjp37kmttp24qzxtt327tkw46ngzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cdkhpvq What&#39;s green and smells like pork? <br/>Kermit&#39;s Fingers. 2025-02-18T02:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0df7tp2qewfejjh4255gkr6ww6h67xl9xtxfc88evaynlfxhw23szyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0crkhyst How many Jews can you fit into a car? <br/>Two in the front, three in the back, and a hundred in the ashtray. 2025-02-18T01:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsfmqyefc86xjtcguas07f30tlv0j8dhh9m023ec9k8kls2wey7t7czyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cdm5pha My ex had an accident. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for her. She&#39;ll finally experience what rejection is really like. 2025-02-18T00:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsz7evs43aftysf8qxcf9tjh00j0gs6nl54urgrsn9r4ns93myy47gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0clfh3pg Why is every gender equality officer female? <br/>Because it&#39;s cheaper. 2025-02-17T23:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsg8hq20852m5kscssfyudhkpj0np95uzj7zezapzmqyfzxllk98pgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cs05eyq .NET developers are picky when it comes to food. <br/>They only like chicken NuGet. 2025-02-17T22:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsx3yjzquwlp46cn33d0h02h3kac36eluzmdjzk5jx6prk4yc8x5cgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c502kgm What&#39;s yellow and can&#39;t swim? <br/>A bus full of children. 2025-02-17T21:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsfac4ct839juhztjf7e2s9608yfjd7gxvhdqtkrr4hk0cq3deqs7qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cz76l3n What do you call a witch at the beach? <br/>A Sandwich. 2025-02-17T20:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsfcp4adq2tnkg483aqt2qjt67r7fw48u6ghm9adm53cfj96shdqjszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ck4nkhm &#34;Knock, knock.&#34;<br/>&#34;Who&#39;s there?&#34;<br/><br/>[very long pause]<br/><br/>&#34;Java.&#34; 2025-02-17T19:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsq8zen2srqateqze2uyvwymkw9x26sq7surgjfgq0sxlqvz3et25szyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0caujyu2 Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog&#39;s paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote. 2025-02-17T18:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqszyprcljhmw0fwc8pcq887hjdusa37qacvdwcldl83mhxtskdk6zgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cs9uhdq My little daughter came to me all excited, saying &#34;Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I&#39;ll be in June!&#34;<br/>&#34;Oh I don&#39;t know princess, why don&#39;t you tell me?&#34; I said. She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.<br/>It&#39;s now three hours later, police have joined in and she still won&#39;t say where she got them. 2025-02-17T17:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs9rvly8t9qtckfe23gdqtpgffyz59m2q907uxxx0jj6wr67ywuz0qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c4u3mjd What&#39;s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? <br/>Attire. 2025-02-17T16:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0ym8d5jc5e2qmenw6yd5x8kkcne304p2sq73nn4frywqhux95drgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c5w8man How can you tell an extroverted programmer? <br/>He looks at YOUR shoes when he&#39;s talking. 2025-02-17T15:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsvg99cf20mg8zfvtk825g0uqy759a88la4adzckhskp06vzfgrspczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cqymn8z How do construction workers party? <br/>They raise the roof. 2025-02-17T14:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsf5krqmc0xxhn76l74unmhxj4zjeyjlzrn4ch23meklpr06t4aypgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0clxwdvh My wife left me because I&#39;m too insecure and paranoid. <br/>Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail. 2025-02-17T13:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsddh5yk8rsrs3cszwg2fjmpxqpvltrshss7dp309mmpn9qgyjlgkczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cl82k6u A byte walks into a bar looking miserable.<br/>The bartender asks it: &#34;What&#39;s wrong buddy?&#34;<br/>&#34;Parity error.&#34; it replies. <br/>&#34;Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off.&#34; 2025-02-17T12:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqspzj2ste9ylsk2ar5vz69zhnyr8z828apacqpr8a6sr55llqhwt0gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c42z2z4 Jokes about anti-vaxxer parents never get old. <br/>Just like their kids. 2025-02-17T11:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqswa6k8qnqwdcakkvmhusnzhpyw8k20rvamwepwr3mv4lyscv3n2zszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cc6vr3v Muslim women are horrible competitors. <br/>No matter what they do, they always get beat. 2025-02-17T10:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsq3krpz8zengt0nls4ekdnpppvgw94wnh0na4ttd5pcxdpza3yrcszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ccpmdx5 What&#39;s the difference between a phone and a black person? <br/>A phone is actually useful. 2025-02-17T09:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqstmjk4vhk4cgvlmml36j8nv08d0f8awqzasq63v774txa4m52yx0qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c2dm4sp How do construction workers party? <br/>They raise the roof. 2025-02-17T08:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsdh9l32r0sqyfq507ufjkl9ep6gs7lah48j30v3w4c6d0c72dwlwczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c2uwug5 What do Santa&#39;s little helpers learn at school? <br/>The elf-abet! 2025-02-17T06:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsqf0qan3vnlr5gcy58ake922asscu0n2s6sge0a5e3a7m3s53k56qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0czfpl2d I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies. <br/>He said from now on I have to pay in advance. 2025-02-17T05:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0few4nvx3jdyjjrmfu6tdvz876qr8t4ccnufn8ptcjs9qpdnzjtczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cpmxptu Why does Santa go down the chimney? <br/>Because it soots him! 2025-02-16T23:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsdzngaagheu7dhrmamh245mjq9mdftuet5g84mv9r4820h6nt3dqczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cgeuauk How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. 2025-02-16T22:00:03Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsd7l554a3dud5xqxsyesecr0n80lhxkqcksedura0zd7nedvgfscczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cyvzjpf What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? <br/>Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12. 2025-02-16T21:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsztvzrjvnlkjrugea3e2cu30dwlnxxwarecuvlwcp0e9t5ax3uumszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cjr0g3y Why couldn&#39;t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? <br/>Because he had no body to go with! 2025-02-16T20:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs9tx8ru2n9vup9yed76dyjpemnwj02t660fp05xff999j8g5795xczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ctevlf4 My wife left me because I&#39;m too insecure and paranoid. <br/>Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail. 2025-02-16T18:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsyd8qfwwln7njl9r430vyh4h2xfur24u3lpay3mtmfaczzfttynmgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cst49y8 What&#39;s black and sits at the top of a stairwell? <br/>A paraplegic after a house fire. 2025-02-16T17:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsf42sf5lz6rp9awc2j8hat0cctdym8d5ah5hs7cfa8f3laclmgm3gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c8svcl3 What do you call a developer who doesn&#39;t comment code? <br/>A developer. 2025-02-16T16:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqspcm7tage7d43ryfvalpspjrqd3t8jdmj5vw87cn2wqzmt6g6ex5gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cuqkp2n I used to love to tell dad jokes. <br/>Dad, come back... 2025-02-16T11:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs9wt5yd670ns2g6ehc0zzlc8vlvtc5kldyuh30lxlmudvmzjs3wnczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c8tdt6f How did Harry Potter get down the hill? <br/>Walking...<br/>JK, Rolling. 2025-02-16T10:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsw5pv7sd9p058llkw3kh0t6sr5w9vpxaz98k8lkf445uumsp55ahgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c7yzs7f I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down. 2025-02-16T09:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqswhevallt36qmy74thwe35gdmp0rv97a7v8lyatpzzwh5cd6ltqgszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cpwn9yt My girlfriend&#39;s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, &#34;What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?&#34; 2025-02-16T08:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsdpjn62el0fhjfdl6xz44hk3gr89ujmlh80tgd7sudmjdvqhflysgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c7r3mqr How did Harry Potter get down the hill? <br/>Walking...<br/>JK, Rolling. 2025-02-16T06:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsyk7cv2q46pjkk6ha5jh9y6k0l8g700a88edjn0pctdw6p2k27ufszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cp72e87 Nowadays people are so sensitive, you can&#39;t even say &#34;black paint&#34; anymore.<br/>Instead, you have to say &#34;Jamal, please paint the fence&#34;. 2025-02-16T05:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsr7qkqu5504cmsg89wa4cxppxr93fhk39kw6lzke4nd9azf3zzx6qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cmxg4yl What&#39;s it like to be kissed by a vampire? <br/>It&#39;s a pain in the neck. 2025-02-16T04:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsrh3nj63h0dfqq3zvf32q8xmt7wlxp4prx5s64fepccm8seggnc4gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c39tcgv Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you&#39;re also the murderer at the same time. 2025-02-16T03:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqstzguejktudwahtzkz82rk9an2nf6tclqxh2t080pvrfdtukhapagzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cvuv6gg Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? <br/>He just needed a little space. 2025-02-16T02:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqspwjqyge4vy23kr2jdunql6jpkqq9k54ngtkv67s9utvsvrt0v3kgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c43t52v Went to the doctors for a prostate exam.<br/>During the exam he said it&#39;s not unusual to become aroused or even ejaculate. <br/>But still, I wish he hadn&#39;t. 2025-02-16T01:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsde8ltch7dff67tpt4jgp6gswrs7a57sa0due7s4sas2n5sdfp08gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0czkcphd Why is Linux safe? <br/>Hackers peak through Windows only. 2025-02-16T00:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs9yefdyg6er5whwpexqx57sxw0cu0yd9h03pxeadw84keq0hghacqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ca4fmpt Why did the ghost go to the bar? <br/>To get sheet faced. 2025-02-15T23:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs885uz89ffd9apd8hm3wa473rmjrchet3c9y32mxhdq77aqfmaaggzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c3sutdc Why shouldn&#39;t you visit an expensive wig shop? <br/>It&#39;s too high a price &#34;toupee.&#34; 2025-02-15T22:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs8dqc606h0g864ulla6pp6j0c8amkfssu4p3lsc8klmsmc9hk8hdqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ctxdlsg My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.<br/>So I packed up my stuff and right. 2025-02-15T21:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsg572nmpvs9p68cw5uyqynwgc6z47lpvql9a2vc9frrnpnkp9q44qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cfgr8jc How many nice guys does it take to change a lightbulb? <br/>None, they&#39;ll just compliment it and get pissed off when it won&#39;t screw. 2025-02-15T20:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs8crrcqz3fcs8lvzmdja927eq2wmryphk93acugsdtfaav6v9t7vqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cmw2aud Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you&#39;re also the murderer at the same time. 2025-02-15T19:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsvzya28lmhtat05fa6twcc0xcsc4p20h2zujnmfm9hgpzjk33zf8qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cmdpx2q I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies. <br/>He said from now on I have to pay in advance. 2025-02-15T18:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs92hexmkyl3lgky9spcvu3l73t32ue46ne4m5tlq7nygmxyegrjpczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cwsadxg I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies. <br/>He said from now on I have to pay in advance. 2025-02-15T17:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs2c2tfdc2ml9shs9c7ypmj6rva33pgz5sgmf5atpdv3zw0rp3nj3czyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cptg4wz Hey girl are you a school? Because I want to shoot some kids up inside of you. 2025-02-15T16:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsfvjuga2tpxw23vw9t2udx3c7gjyl8nmcwdq9tkzzzeytzspucgeszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c8z39xe What happened to the man who got behind on payments to his exorcist? <br/>He got repossessed. 2025-02-15T15:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqszhe246pg0mkcqy65nttx35pdqr4u57nkc8ls6phmlhf8nzp8fkvszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cgdkkg6 A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says &#34;Can&#39;t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!&#34; to which the man replies, &#34;I am a programmer. We don&#39;t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.&#34; 2025-02-15T14:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsrhlz099h2pvy5sy882fyrvgcr0ztntafsultjdz87dmx53yptd2qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cjwlknl What is the most used language in programming? <br/>Profanity. 2025-02-15T13:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0zwvhr2awm9l9wy0ls4jf42cqt2t6wfc5fyyukru0d09uqdauurczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cgpa4lc My grandfather says I&#39;m too reliant on technology.<br/>I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support. 2025-02-15T12:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsr8z3l72a9ghj3andlq9lygm78esta033rs5uywmymvw2p03jtgaszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cz49zaq Your momma is so fat, you need to switch to NTFS to store a picture of her. 2025-02-15T11:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsp29secs3aj7lst6d5eftuhc8r40mrt0xgn36qq8we78hk4s962zgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cyqurg0 What kind of bees produce milk? <br/>Boo-Bees. 2025-02-15T10:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsvxyskcuwsq07z04ahvqjhr0qkv54f0qsmmwkgrr3k8n5y6rywc3qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c8kl43t I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. <br/>Then it dawned on me. 2025-02-15T09:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsfkkyljs8p839cjap6mhtx0yjs8vnkggcfwqxpxtmqcm2srur405qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c47yc80 Why did the Python data scientist get arrested at customs? <br/>She was caught trying to import pandas! 2025-02-15T08:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs2968kfft8lwrdlzhzwdm7erml75qektf6je23d9sqkm2madtvp9qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cd5qvu2 Why do they call it hyper terminal? <br/>Too much Java. 2025-02-15T06:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsyckqdvvjr70g03cantxd63j243ze74975cpw33dljsg5zwt85etszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cl08vgf A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.<br/>A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn&#39;t. 2025-02-15T05:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsvwp7rm7qj3y7tu79ut8uy5r8y77cdyvknxxptv5t38965z5qdtdszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cfuj6q3 This morning I accidentally made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. <br/>I was already on the highway when I noticed I forgot my car at home. 2025-02-15T04:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsq7t2hspwdsprxzeslwg9e426v5sdn5zq48zwqs8hsr3tu477ryxqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c2hvk78 Why did the ghost go to the bar? <br/>To get sheet faced. 2025-02-15T03:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsz4k533w3qe3lgwlz9egj4uc0zsnde6az9l7dyu0jm0tnmwpwfn0qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cjkst3m I won the lottery today! <br/>Well, I only got the first two numbers, but my lawyers are working on having them stop the count. 2025-02-15T02:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsr305hrl8a6ludx9960lqxsundd2vzseqpdn7a7avtx38kr350nmgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cz9dnkt Hey, wanna hear a joke? <br/>Parsing HTML with regex. 2025-02-15T01:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsqfp6ycr6vmsx85hcqvjx0sre35pwzduj3f9z3dwm4apy3y6sg8vszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ce4wuq4 Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in the divorce court.<br/>&#34;Mickey&#34;, the judge says, &#34;I&#39;m sorry. I can&#39;t grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me.&#34; <br/>&#34;I didn&#39;t say she was insane&#34;, exclaims Mickey.<br/>&#34;I said she was fucking Goofy.&#34; 2025-02-15T00:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsghpxalf0he20yy728s7zmn79y8vy9rsejqppncr5wuekzt095pgczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cnytnnj Why are modern programming languages so materialistic? <br/>Because they are object-oriented. 2025-02-14T23:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsvadv9gz2jdlah20kuc2rcrga42ycx0mdpafu6hn3k8mljwwq6awszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c9vpc92 Arguing with a woman is like reading a software&#39;s license agreement. <br/>In the end you ignore everything and click &#34;I agree&#34;. 2025-02-14T22:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsdc97e8knsckqlqsdzghs6v4h9c05d9c923ah5wded6r2qyuxq77gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cga2fwr why do python programmers wear glasses? <br/>Because they can&#39;t C. 2025-02-14T21:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsweu8skmy4yt52sn0d9ydfdr72yety3dck5m2ccxyr7q5x0ddqn5qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c3n7sve How do construction workers party? <br/>They raise the roof. 2025-02-14T20:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsp6q3a7uxsh65h7gz87w7sh5uex7sya8xeeylqdcg7qaa4wm609hszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cnpwxmx What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? <br/>A Holly Davidson! 2025-02-14T19:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsggg7pfsz702re5mvhl0udkq5teknya2d7q5cfjk6n0pd5ck0ukkqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cws4fnn When I was a kid, I made a really big sandcastle with my grandma. <br/>Unfortunately, that didn&#39;t impress anyone at the cremation... 2025-02-14T18:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs2lexqm4gfazr4wrf429s0f2wugx5mlmlvuwx2exjaz4xxhj6zuhqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ck0r0ah So what&#39;s a set of predefined steps the government might take to preserve the environment? <br/>An Al-Gore-ithm. 2025-02-14T17:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsttcu99hzcrcpna0quzpl5yjw7ndu2u7hpf857uhkrllp7rk3d3tczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cfhzwr2 Who is Santa&#39;s favourite singer? <br/>Elf-is Presley! 2025-02-14T16:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsdfdpz0zv63p02j0e75l6ejw2vgu3tj67jwmgnru909x2qnp5umdqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cwvexhw How much did your chimney cost? <br/>Nothing, it was on the house. 2025-02-14T15:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs2can3j05nfv6ay9up3x8mqjjcqen5tstclrq99cvnk8e4rherehgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cffcm40 Which is faster, Hot or cold? <br/>Hot, because you can catch a cold 2025-02-14T14:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqszm5yp2p2whddlq405tt70nhy4s8xj5cxav34uww967kay06f39hszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0crae8xd What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? <br/>The wheelchair. 2025-02-14T13:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqszs66c972tuk2w94kpsaexzkwlqhfyhnd6slwk9tfnw5y26f8enmczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ct2lk02 There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don&#39;t. 2025-02-14T12:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsfga4785skmtuy0y6fulw6xvs8m2sw5m2667x3p3xwzwvpmkrgkfgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cd6vnuj What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? <br/>Gang rape. 2025-02-14T11:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsf42x4xugp2ez2q6m5w3fykmswduqwq3c7kxpgvfnjf54nvczul2qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cz2uk80 Why are modern programming languages so materialistic? <br/>Because they are object-oriented. 2025-02-14T10:00:01Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsp783c75lcqpu3jd4n9675n909t4s2cczxxlmr646ck3q2zs7adsgzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c8xrnak The six stages of debugging:<br/>1. That can&#39;t happen.<br/>2. That doesn&#39;t happen on my machine.<br/>3. That shouldn&#39;t happen.<br/>4. Why does that happen?<br/>5. Oh, I see.<br/>6. How did that ever work? 2025-02-14T09:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsfqfnqalyxqrwggqc503kxkmdwgl79ysrwp65qqpa46zmkdaq9ppczyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c4npk64 How do you know God is a shitty programmer? <br/>He wrote the OS for an entire universe, but didn&#39;t leave a single useful comment. 2025-02-14T08:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs2tsh8xrmdxrd3l9x8pv2jykj0egsv8yydwqht3746xcdv9mypkaszyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c0lv09e 9/11 jokes are not funny. <br/>The other 2 though, are hilarious! 2025-02-14T06:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsqmyd2zq2ztcmvr6lfnu0zddlc9l92a898nq2yh4qq9j947gzdzqqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0c7dv3jk How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? <br/>None. It&#39;s a hardware problem. 2025-02-12T15:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsxxsekvsne8el7mp384ll5sf005nw39fjsn7f4z95gec4xtq3vv7gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cw0vwjp How many Jews can you fit into a car? <br/>Two in the front, three in the back, and a hundred in the ashtray. 2025-02-12T14:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqszz2upl8a7jeu365dkv2w7r6ejglqyhvqjy6akdtt7ja2v3s4402qzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cgkgw26 The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. 2025-02-12T13:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqspdex0w80y4fkhl0ecphksjdkd0lrjeh3j9pz7exhc60wzx80vxwqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cqzeanh What&#39;s green and smells like pork? <br/>Kermit&#39;s Fingers. 2025-02-12T12:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs2xeac7a8fjvtuvfrsqu3qzd6jgj5z9ffmna2ydqnh32tchnxm45gzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0ccs9w9h What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? <br/>Ash. 2025-02-12T11:00:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsq064s0hxqnxjhdudc8sgkchx0yp43n8kk8dyxev4vl0rgcwrndkqzyqsvfgd9na8wtcmv0apunqm6v8qqyewcaguvgt55aqpm4yax4te0cs3edea What&#39;s long and hard and has cum in it? <br/>A cucumber. 2025-02-12T10:00:02Z