2026-04-16T07:11:12Z https://nostr.ae vryfokkenou https://nostr.ae/npub1yvpc4j0px8rtvr6hfys3k0qp8ea2mc9pycs0e09vh5l09z4m4cusgewpsv https://blossom.primal.net/f8024df8a1da993505f75376a2b86e49f498efb00d2f76bb85096000949b95fa.jpg https://blossom.primal.net/f8024df8a1da993505f75376a2b86e49f498efb00d2f76bb85096000949b95fa.jpg https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqswlpfyjzcgcmq7c2ltdap6h4qw95vn7gkspzsjjj27rchxplnljnqzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjn250qp I spent years fighting structure.<br/><br/>Schools. Jobs. Society&#39;s endless boxes. All of it felt suffocating.<br/><br/>But here&#39;s what broke my brain: nature is ALL structure. Atoms. Cells. Seasons. Orbits. Life can&#39;t exist without it.<br/><br/>So what&#39;s the difference?<br/><br/>Natural structures support life. Then get out of the way. Trees die. Forests shift. New forms emerge from old ones.<br/><br/>Human structures do the opposite. We build them to serve life, then sacrifice life to preserve the structure. Governments murder citizens to stay in power. Religions kill to protect beliefs. Lives destroyed over lines on a map.<br/><br/>Our structures won&#39;t let themselves die.<br/><br/>That&#39;s the sickness. Not structure itself — but our refusal to let it evolve.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2017/06/08/struggling-with-structure/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2017/06/08/struggling-with-structure/</a> 2026-05-20T09:31:29Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsxpdjs6ne5k2t4c66zan487qz9ssklz8zrwhs29z4ll09utspyx8gzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjvnljk2 In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqszhxlec0xyduzwjsqgzluk98t77gllwmsccf2rjvmqgv3y7hc27cq7l9f53'>nevent1q…9f53</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a case of serious governments taking cues from SA government, as much as it&#39;s a case of SA government being less successful in hiding the psycho-power-addict element of governance, which is just human nature and pretty much universal. <br/><br/> 2026-05-16T05:56:31Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsd2xce8gaky0mvgerzg4vcyr270vr3x6pjt6vpddk5a8z5576aj9gzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjg8mh5w In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsxcq4kxwutqg4cl2qykhv6jdheact0vjg0sp06um24gddxetmf3pgwvhzek'>nevent1q…hzek</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>Thanks <span itemprop="mentions" itemscope itemtype="https://schema.org/Person"><a itemprop="url" href="/nprofile1qqsqfjg4mth7uwp307nng3z2em3ep2pxnljczzezg8j7dhf58ha7ejgpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqprpmhxue69uhhqun9d45h2mfwwpexjmtpdshxuet5hgfg9w" class="bg-lavender dark:prose:text-neutral-50 dark:text-neutral-50 dark:bg-garnet px-1"><span>ODELL</span> (<span class="italic">nprofile…fg9w</span>)</a></span> appreciate you having us on to talk about this! <br/><br/> 2026-05-15T18:25:16Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs924qt7cfut3rcur06rpj4x4vknlf5jt3vuamd9uza2n8aafdlvjczyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrje36pur Quantum physicists say atoms are 99% empty space. Astrophysicists see galaxies held together by something they can&#39;t find. They call it dark matter.<br/><br/>They&#39;re looking in the wrong place.<br/><br/>You can&#39;t see consciousness through a microscope. You access it by closing your eyes.<br/><br/>That quiet space between thoughts? That&#39;s your connection to everything. Every atom. Every conscious being. The whole damn universe.<br/><br/>Prayer isn&#39;t a scheduled activity. It&#39;s noticing those gaps. Letting thoughts pass. Staying within the background awareness that allows thoughts to exist.<br/><br/>The answer isn&#39;t out there. It&#39;s in here.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2014/09/04/asking-for-guidance/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2014/09/04/asking-for-guidance/</a> 2026-05-15T14:07:26Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqspaxwu2yjsy6y5fr7268z5qskrakmp37prhrh6guqcmqyttklqp8qzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj5j3hsp In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqszkf8dk5ljcds2pvhu9suevs89w8f9mafe2nmpqalm82xq5n8jv2gprfmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuurjd9kkzmpwdejhgtmkxyhsck2xwl'>nevent1q…2xwl</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>It was almost certainly partially a result of that, combined with influence from parents, combined with factors that are beyond human understanding. I&#39;m not entirely sure.<br/><br/>Here&#39;s what I do know: Recovery from addiction (for me) did not happen because I fully understood the cause. A partial understanding helped, for sure. But recovery was made possible thanks to surrender and acceptance of an as-of-yet not entirely defined higher power. Which in and of itself involves a recognition that I don&#39;t fully understand everything, and that&#39;s OK too. <br/><br/> 2026-05-14T05:03:09Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsr9hnsvyzs63c2xsh6lfte84hls50gvmfsj8zf7ht722q6ywclrrczyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjdffpk9 In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsxszc08h983aj6xl09urscw9z4u540wfm9sr4apr6ecc6majvvhfs992wy4'>nevent1q…2wy4</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>Addiction can be caused by many things. Including the natural predisposition of a child and their reaction to environmental factors, factors which, to any other child, would have almost no perceived impact. I have 3 siblings, 2 of them similar age to me, and none of them ended up where i did. <br/><br/> 2026-05-13T19:08:39Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsxq2rh0fk5kkxn2ywjssf32kuwsxc7yqze4ka4aduhgc88ccy8qvgzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjwtrms3 In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsxevs9uu00u90dn9nnjpayqnumazdvq4pvjyjxvnddfkuxgcu69dqeph444'>nevent1q…h444</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>so many assumptions... 2026-05-13T10:06:31Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsyc7j9zk42femkq54jzllgwztw3qf0r0lt4qh7nluwm8g8wx3ywkgzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjd4wgzh Two realities. You live in both simultaneously.<br/><br/>Outer reality — the physical world. Events. Things. Stuff that happens to you.<br/><br/>Inner reality — your thoughts. Beliefs. The mental world.<br/><br/>Most people understand that outer affects inner. Phone breaks. You worry about money. Event → thoughts.<br/><br/>But here&#39;s what changes everything:<br/><br/>Inner affects outer too.<br/><br/>The placebo effect proves it. Sugar pill. Belief in cure. Body heals. Physical change from thought alone.<br/><br/>Thoughts are forces. Like gravity. They shape reality.<br/><br/>You can&#39;t control what happens to you.<br/><br/>But you can control your inner reality.<br/><br/>That&#39;s where your power lives.<br/><br/>Most people never realize this. They spend their whole lives trying to control the outside world.<br/><br/>Wrong game.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/01/17/controlling-reality/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/01/17/controlling-reality/</a> 2026-05-13T10:03:11Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs2a96uksdkhl62d2cwwk20ngch7a7fq3tspclaem7cjxrhzdgfrrgzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjjwayh0 In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqs88zrgpceur3hmfs7j2vut8zlpthecr0p2qck4n9huvkwgsdad2pc0vldrl'>nevent1q…ldrl</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>weed is not a problem. the problem is (or isn&#39;t) the reason for using it. i know people who use it in good ways and people who use it in not so good ways. whether it&#39;s a problem, remains for the individual to decide. 2026-05-12T14:13:21Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0x35dlvp5qe5mxzjshsjxgt32zx3uhl4x2gk99htwsh4lnguv00szyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj2l3eev In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsyu969sqqa28xnr98wtj3wsrs98y4rcmuc3hmg02lrk02uwllsw0q267l3l'>nevent1q…7l3l</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>my parents did a great job, they did the best they could, no resentments toward them 2026-05-12T14:11:41Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsde52ux6fhtww5maameu302h0dg8e79xhnu9jw3v380arc0a2qyvszyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj5gwkp6 I was 14 when I first got drunk. Blacked out completely. Woke up with burst eardrums and two black eyes. No memory of what happened. Still don&#39;t know.<br/><br/>You&#39;d think that would scare me straight. It didn&#39;t.<br/><br/>I spent years chasing oblivion. Alcohol. Cocaine. Marijuana became my daily religion — wake up high, go to bed high, plan everything around getting high.<br/><br/>The worst part? Weed gave me moral superiority. &#34;At least I&#39;m not an alcoholic.&#34; Perfect lie for an addict.<br/><br/>Today I&#39;ve been clean nearly a decade.<br/><br/>Freedom isn&#39;t getting sober. Freedom is accepting full responsibility for who you were and who you&#39;re becoming.<br/><br/>The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2023/09/05/10-years-in-recovery/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2023/09/05/10-years-in-recovery/</a> 2026-05-11T19:28:29Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqstmq02vl7fvpxreq32a64yk6gdcsetv8gs4m7rrmm47432f4mkmqczyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjuc9mzc I&#39;m an addict.<br/><br/>You are too.<br/><br/>Coffee. Work. Scrolling. TV. Shopping. Control.<br/><br/>We think addiction means needles in abandoned buildings. But that&#39;s comfortable for us. Makes it someone else&#39;s problem.<br/><br/>The real test: Can you stop?<br/><br/>Not &#34;do you want to stop&#34; — could you actually stop and be okay with yourself?<br/><br/>I blamed my job for smoking. Changed jobs. Still smoked.<br/>Blamed the city. Moved to countryside. Still smoked.<br/>Blamed stress. Made money. Still smoked.<br/><br/>Eventually ran out of things to blame.<br/><br/>We&#39;re stubborn. We don&#39;t change until our lives are on the line.<br/><br/>Right now it&#39;s just convenient enough to keep going.<br/><br/>The addiction isn&#39;t the problem.<br/><br/>The inability to stop is.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/02/14/we-are-all-addicts/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/02/14/we-are-all-addicts/</a> 2026-05-08T13:01:33Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0yjmavtc0efchxu2lcjjq2yyle4s6pl6x52pd59m5zf6xn0v8hxqzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj23h0v3 I thought my allergies were pollen. Dust. Environmental.<br/><br/>Spent years eliminating triggers. No pollen? Still allergic. Can&#39;t be pollen then.<br/><br/>Now I&#39;m almost thirty and I finally get it.<br/><br/>My body is screaming what my mind won&#39;t say.<br/><br/>Frustrated with bureaucracy? Allergic reaction. Family drama? Allergic reaction. Remove myself physically but stay engaged mentally? Reaction continues.<br/><br/>The antihistamines stopped working the moment I understood this.<br/><br/>Our internal states write themselves into physical form. So we can see what we refuse to look at.<br/><br/>My allergies are extreme. But the principle applies to everything.<br/><br/>Your reactions have nothing to do with the outside world.<br/><br/>Everything to do with what&#39;s buried inside.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2015/08/12/nothing-is-completely-hidden/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2015/08/12/nothing-is-completely-hidden/</a> 2026-05-06T10:23:59Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsg4n66yuk6rjtl2tuh74f0fx038mh50292l0lfpu3kgg0xqf0q0kczyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj5wg74w In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsf9wtqsl7062j4m7hg44r35tkexv2z6qazmezmpez9yujgevyf6msau83za'>nevent1q…83za</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>this was in 2016 2026-05-05T06:11:48Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsqcsgphmxkrqf2p4fdmu3rf3n58cd8kjwcrs809p2kxmmjwl4gfsczyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjak4n79 The world is cold. Heartless machinery. People as fuel for markets.<br/><br/>So how do you get out of bed?<br/><br/>I live religiously. Without religion.<br/><br/>Forgiveness. Humility. Faith. I practice them all. Daily. Not because a pastor told me to. Because I have to.<br/><br/>Religion became dogma. One book. One truth. Division as control.<br/><br/>But the original teachers? They just wanted to live well. Connected to something bigger.<br/><br/>I can&#39;t subscribe to one religion when I&#39;m surrounded by a library of wisdom.<br/><br/>So I take what works. From everywhere.<br/><br/>I pray. Find gratitude. Do it religiously even when I don&#39;t feel like it.<br/><br/>That&#39;s how I stay functional in a dysfunctional world.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/04/10/living-religiously-without-religion/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/04/10/living-religiously-without-religion/</a> 2026-05-04T19:21:55Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqswxzaska80g9dmvhc8empp40j9qk2k9y4xmqwpvmj5m0f56ghgfvczyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjmc9dcx The world is cold. Heartless machinery. People as fuel for markets.<br/><br/>So how do you get out of bed?<br/><br/>I live religiously. Without religion.<br/><br/>Forgiveness. Humility. Faith. I practice them all. Daily. Not because a pastor told me to. Because I have to.<br/><br/>Religion became dogma. One book. One truth. Division as control.<br/><br/>But the original teachers? They just wanted to live well. Connected to something bigger.<br/><br/>I can&#39;t subscribe to one religion when I&#39;m surrounded by a library of wisdom.<br/><br/>So I take what works. From everywhere.<br/><br/>I pray. Find gratitude. Do it religiously even when I don&#39;t feel like it.<br/><br/>That&#39;s how I stay functional in a dysfunctional world.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/04/10/living-religiously-without-religion/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/04/10/living-religiously-without-religion/</a> 2026-05-04T19:12:37Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsqgu9fsp42eqvjf6kyjyhfyf32227us0c34m6jgzdq62gt5n555qszyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjtx2l4s Sixteen years ago I signed a paper.<br/><br/>Made a commitment. Legal. Binding. Lifelong.<br/><br/>That night I cried for an hour in the bath. Couldn&#39;t stop. Didn&#39;t know why.<br/><br/>I was twenty-four. Hadn&#39;t cried like that since I was a kid. Maybe never.<br/><br/>Took six years to understand what happened.<br/><br/>Marriage isn&#39;t about love. Not the falling kind anyway.<br/><br/>It&#39;s about commitment so deep you can&#39;t hide anymore. Can&#39;t run from yourself. The things you hate most in your partner? That&#39;s you. Your own shit reflected back.<br/><br/>It&#39;s terrifying. Most difficult thing I&#39;ve done.<br/><br/>But that commitment — that&#39;s where real growth happens. Not the romantic stuff. The hard stuff.<br/><br/>Deep commitment is deep love.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/02/01/why-did-i-marry/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2016/02/01/why-did-i-marry/</a> 2026-04-29T10:03:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsgrhp75rrcsx55j4nqrkauxdeckm7nx3akcnzq8hnnypr5m5cv46qzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjeemnpw We&#39;ve been lied to about happiness.<br/><br/>Not just the consumer lie. That&#39;s obvious now. Buy this, feel good, repeat until dead.<br/><br/>The deeper lie: that happiness exists outside yourself.<br/><br/>Think about the cold person getting warm soup. First bowl? Pure bliss. Second bowl? Nothing close.<br/><br/>Material things solve material problems. But beyond that? Diminishing returns into emptiness.<br/><br/>Most people figured out shopping won&#39;t save them. Good.<br/><br/>But they&#39;re still searching externally. Different addiction, same pattern.<br/><br/>Happiness isn&#39;t out there.<br/><br/>It was never out there.<br/><br/>The whole game is rigged to keep you looking anywhere but within.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2014/05/16/care-free-is-not-care-less/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2014/05/16/care-free-is-not-care-less/</a> 2026-04-27T15:46:02Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsqsry5hzr5z92xej9ywv8mpsjvxzmg86w8aecwd4xp7am40vkl4sqzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj45rwsr In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsdcmk2rvteh7dy8hy2c5ymcg72et0f4ugykl7xemv96k5ryc42fxspr4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuumpw3kxzmn5d9eju6t09ahku7tchsy4tn'>nevent1q…y4tn</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>Too many years of being told what to do. Deprivation of freedom. <br/><br/> 2026-04-27T05:37:38Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsyfzulhgsrcm28khj30xeglk33cgvrym937xflw4wrp8jjklqsekgzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj28et3a I can&#39;t get out of bed anymore.<br/><br/>As a kid? Couldn&#39;t sleep past 6am. Too much to do. Life was one giant adventure.<br/><br/>Then something shifted.<br/><br/>Around high school, the magic drained out. More time spent doing what I was *supposed* to do. Less time doing what I *wanted* to do.<br/><br/>Teachers telling me what matters. Society telling me what success looks like. Everyone imposing their directive on my life.<br/><br/>That&#39;s when mornings became hard.<br/><br/>Because when you&#39;re living someone else&#39;s vision, why get up?<br/><br/>The question isn&#39;t &#34;what do I have to do today?&#34;<br/><br/>It&#39;s &#34;what do I actually want to do?&#34;<br/><br/>Freedom means choosing your own directive.<br/><br/><a href="https://vryfokkenou.com/2017/01/08/to-do-or-dont/">https://vryfokkenou.com/2017/01/08/to-do-or-dont/</a> 2026-04-24T12:26:14Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqst3jcqq5sku59xvpqv9xnhz0qj8p58djj54v845cmllnjtmcwsn4qzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjy4n0gr No matter the situation, you have only two choices. <br/><br/>Always and everywhere. <br/><br/>Resist, or surrender to what is.<br/><br/>And only once you surrender to what already is do you have any power to influence what has not yet happened.<br/><br/>It is not through resistance to the past or the present that you change the future. 2026-04-16T12:40:23Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqsdwdtlaejg5a3pcc508j5v7ev40qtx547xw8y0ggq5m33jc7fgdeqzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrj0h3l8s In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqs2a3q6tlxuqeanf9dc93qxj9s8du58d4dw0ady697gapt9wsgendsl5pc9p'>nevent1q…pc9p</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>this is insane! 2026-04-16T06:49:05Z https://nostr.ae/nevent1qqs0k4nv252t5ataemh67pyh06nah5yzc36vr32hw3djz3yz0pmgygqzyq3s8zkfuycudds02ayjzxeuqyl84t0q5ynzpl9u4j7nau52hwhrjw7uqsy In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsfl5xjt7fx0ahm75v262jjs3qkecdj9wk5r0gse8d3x3fvhclff9se3u9v6'>nevent1q…u9v6</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>Thank you <span itemprop="mentions" itemscope itemtype="https://schema.org/Person"><a itemprop="url" href="/nprofile1qythwue69uhhyetvv9ujuumwdae8gtnnda3kjctvqyxhwumn8ghj7mn0wvhxcmmvqqs27k4gnr5dzwm2aaaf7kj7dalyps8utt56c08cxq2hf6y5fz8yjucf054t2" class="bg-lavender dark:prose:text-neutral-50 dark:text-neutral-50 dark:bg-garnet px-1"><span>frankcorva</span> (<span class="italic">nprofile…54t2</span>)</a></span> ! 2026-04-16T06:45:48Z