Nostr notes by bash

bash.org #76335 <trivy> 019.168. Acronym Soup: DAP ? ...

2026-04-16T04:32:01Z

bash.org #76335

<trivy> 019.168. Acronym Soup: DAP ?
<trivy> 1st Hint: ******* ******* ******** BONUS Question Value : 55000 Points
<trivy> 2nd Hint: par**** ******* ******** 46.7 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
<tobrie> ...
<tobrie> thats not right
<abigale> hmm
<trivy> 3rd Hint: pare*** a*ai*** ****e*ia 23.3 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
<Halffast> maybe it's foreign
<trivy> Times up! The answer was -> parents�against�dyslexia <-

bash.org #603959 sumgirl4eva12: you are the whitest person i know ...

2026-04-13T18:32:01Z

bash.org #603959

sumgirl4eva12: you are the whitest person i know
sumgirl4eva12: stop
holdmeback3322: collaborate and listen

bash.org #7443 <`]{rAzY]`> My penis is so big that when ...

2026-04-10T18:32:02Z

bash.org #7443

<`]{rAzY]`> My penis is so big that when black men look at it, they say "Hey man, you got a big penis"
<dubdope> krazy... why do you have black men looking at your penis?
<dubdope> plus krazy.. how do they know what your penis looks like when they have you bent over?

bash.org #139616 <NightGyr> have you tried EFnet? ...

2026-04-10T12:32:01Z

bash.org #139616

<NightGyr> have you tried EFnet?
<hamann> No, I don't do drugs

bash.org #271263 < gt3> a million people applied for the ...

2026-04-10T02:32:01Z

bash.org #271263

< gt3> a million people applied for the apprentice 2
< gt3> and you know damn well its just gonna get outsourced to india

bash.org #42384 <Supachikn> i've been getting off on my ...

2026-04-09T16:32:01Z

bash.org #42384

<Supachikn> i've been getting off on my moving-to-japan thing lately
<Supachikn> so asianthumbs.org is in my cache for the last few days
<Supachikn> :(
<Demigoat> move to tokyo and become a porn star
<Demigoat> "Chen Hung Long"

bash.org #2479 <Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet ...

2026-04-09T14:32:02Z

bash.org #2479

<Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
<Screwy> and lost 30 days

bash.org #112010 <sampson> rad, that link crashed my ...

2026-04-09T06:32:01Z

bash.org #112010

<sampson> rad, that link crashed my browser in the middle of booking a flight
<sampson> EXCELLENT
<sampson> THANKS!
<aves2k> sorry if your browser doesn't support new Internet technologies
<aves2k> like JPG

bash.org #47753 <Thought> i am about to sell the oldest ...

2026-04-08T08:32:01Z

bash.org #47753

<Thought> i am about to sell the oldest disks in the world :d
<Hoopy> those 5 1/4 inch floppys moses saved the 10 command prompts on?

bash.org #754623 srjames: my girlfriend called asked me to come ...

2026-04-05T12:32:02Z

bash.org #754623

srjames: my girlfriend called asked me to come over, i told her i was setting up freebsd
srjames: she thought i was doing drugs

bash.org #74183 <CommanderStab> I once knew a guy who ...

2026-04-05T08:32:01Z

bash.org #74183

<CommanderStab> I once knew a guy who impersonated a teenage girl on the Internet
<CommanderStab> He tricked married men into believing he was a 14 year old Swedish girl and then said that "she'd like to get a call from him but Dad woudl get suspicious if he heard the phone ring".
<CommanderStab> So they'd give him their phone number and he'd use it to trace their addresses down and find out information about them.
<CommanderStab> Then he'd blackmail them into giving him their bank account details.
<heythere> ... did he get caught? ^^"
<CommanderStab> Apparantely the cops came around a couple of times investigating him. He always told the cops that he had got the information pretending to be a 14 year old girl that the men had wanted to get in contact with.
<CommanderStab> Apparantely nobody ever pressed further charges =D
<heythere> damn ... i gotta try that!

bash.org #222278 <Biitchboy> even tho i really like the ...

2026-04-04T16:32:01Z

bash.org #222278

<Biitchboy> even tho i really like the title of my book
<kibet> which is?
<Donald> "This Book Is Hollow And Contains A Bottle Of Gin"

bash.org #5515 <DAL9000> vanilla coke tastes like ass ...

2026-04-03T12:32:02Z

bash.org #5515

<DAL9000> vanilla coke tastes like ass
<mov> i'd like to taste it..

bash.org #785919 <Garf> Wikipedia! you go to look up a CSS ...

2026-04-03T02:32:01Z

bash.org #785919

<Garf> Wikipedia! you go to look up a CSS term..
<Garf> and you end up reading about Spanish painters and astronaut micrometeorite protection
<Liquid> tabbed browsing will be the death of the human race

bash.org #82108 <Gage> And then my teacher asked me, ...

2026-04-02T14:32:01Z

bash.org #82108

<Gage> And then my teacher asked me, "Do you think it's alright for people to wear Confederate flags to school and scream racial epithets?" and I said "Yes, because then it'll be easier for us to know who to beat the shit out of."
<Gage> I thought that was funny
<Gage> And she didn't do anything about me saying "shit" either because we were discussing free speech and its role in school, it would've been too ironic for her to send me to the office

bash.org #7849 <FadeJade> On the news tonight "SHOULD ...

2026-04-01T08:32:01Z

bash.org #7849

<FadeJade> On the news tonight "SHOULD AIRLINE PASSENGERS BE MADE TO BUY TWO TICKETS JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE OVERWEIGHT?!"
<FadeJade> Fuck yeah
<Phuser> hell yes
<FadeJade> Business, Economy or Fatty?
<FadeJade> I'll fly Fatty today, thanks

bash.org #311375 <DigDug> .... <ogw-iii> ... ...

2026-04-01T06:32:01Z

bash.org #311375

<DigDug> ....
<ogw-iii> ...
<Denshuu> ..
<silicon> all excellent points

bash.org #708787 <sm-> how would i check a mysql database ...

2026-03-31T06:32:01Z

bash.org #708787

<sm-> how would i check a mysql database to see if a table exists?
<Alpha232> put down a table cloth, if it doesn't turn into a rug, then it exists

bash.org #196258 <MakoClause> shit <MakoClause> i am ...

2026-03-30T20:32:01Z

bash.org #196258

<MakoClause> shit
<MakoClause> i am so dead
<MakoClause> there is this huge dent in our christmas ham
<MakoClause> where i decided to liberate some of it for a sandwhich
<MakoClause> but i liberated too much
<Zappy-Holidays> dude
<Zappy-Holidays> ham raeper
<Zappy-Holidays> where are your morals
<Zappy-Holidays> I know why you really carved out a little bit
<Zappy-Holidays> *nudge* *nudge*
<Zappy-Holidays> *wink* *wink*
<MakoClause> dude
<MakoClause> i didn't fuck the ham
<Zappy-Holidays> U FUCKED THE HAM
<Zappy-Holidays> HAM FUCKER
<MakoClause> I DID NOT FUCK THE HAM!
<Zappy-Holidays> UR FAMILY WILL EAT YOUR SEAMEN

bash.org #85251 <skmt> not really. once i reach level 20 ...

2026-03-29T14:32:01Z

bash.org #85251

<skmt> not really. once i reach level 20 virgin, i get a masturbation skill point.
<PACHUKA> skmt: that is the dorkiest think ever said

bash.org #536591 IAn553: I love making fun of the Amish online. ...

2026-03-28T14:32:01Z

bash.org #536591

IAn553: I love making fun of the Amish online.
Eddie0235: Why?
IAn553: Cause they'll never find out.

bash.org #71672 <@madCoder> now its time for me to go raid ...

2026-03-27T08:32:01Z

bash.org #71672

<@madCoder> now its time for me to go raid my roommates food
<@madCoder> :D
<@iota> lol
<@ploppity`away> lol mad
* @iota has a huge chest freezer with some goodies
<@iota> come raid it
<@ploppity`away> iota: pm
<@madCoder> :O
<@iota> i just got a bunch of buy one get one free ice cream too
<@JaZz0r> eyes are blurry
<@JaZz0r> [Sat:3:41:13a] * iota has a huge chest
<@ploppity`away> woah
<@JaZz0r> did you say anything after that?
<@madCoder> lmao
<@iota> FREEZER
<@JaZz0r> "with some goodies"?

bash.org #7158 <Chambered> my hair is halfway down my back ...

2026-03-26T18:32:02Z

bash.org #7158

<Chambered> my hair is halfway down my back
<tize> thats too long
<Chambered> but when your taking a shit and run out of paper, its alright

bash.org #37144 <[SA]Jibaku> Guys, by what voodoo does ...

2026-03-26T10:32:01Z

bash.org #37144

<[SA]Jibaku> Guys, by what voodoo does ikaruga compress to a scant 17 megabytes?
<HentaiTentacleDemon> The good voodoo
<[SA]MofoTPG> The magic of "incomplete download"?

bash.org #77345 <HackerJoe^Away> hell, don't you guys ...

2026-03-25T10:32:01Z

bash.org #77345

<HackerJoe^Away> hell, don't you guys ever read isonewz or nforce... how did you get in here?
<TheBrax> I used packetne*s (just in case it's a bad word) and xdccspy
*** mfer sets mode: +b *!*@DAABE17B37.addictz.net
*** TheBrax was kicked by mfer (*xdccspy* - word not allowd in #Datavault - 5 mins Ban.)

bash.org #84421 <Killzig> you guys want to hear something ...

2026-03-23T06:32:01Z

bash.org #84421

<Killzig> you guys want to hear something fucked up i did at work today, which I blame all of you for -- by the way
<Insane-Lark> sure
<Dan`> ?
<Killzig> I faxed a quote to a client and wrote "K THX BYE" on the bottom

bash.org #564842 <%typobox43> (I/O, I/O, it's to the ...

2026-03-21T14:32:01Z

bash.org #564842

<%typobox43> (I/O, I/O, it's to the bus we go)
<%typobox43> I can just imagine the electrical pulses singing that.
<+BlindFool> You need to be shot

bash.org #33905 <ev-> Here's a cute item from Japan ...

2026-03-21T02:32:02Z

bash.org #33905

<ev-> Here's a cute item from Japan that's a lot of fun -- instead of making boring ice cubes that you don't think anything about, this will enable you to make fun heart-shaped ice cubes. Works in any standard freezer, just fill with water and freeze.
<ev-> works in any standard freezer
<ev-> thank god for that!

bash.org #38640 <Myren> someone ping flood this bastard ...

2026-03-20T14:32:01Z

bash.org #38640

<Myren> someone ping flood this bastard please: 127.0.0.1
<darthv> ok
*** darthv has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

bash.org #351713 <sparhawk85> if Electricity comes from ...

2026-03-10T16:32:01Z

bash.org #351713

<sparhawk85> if Electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

bash.org #55380 <Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a ...

2026-03-10T12:32:01Z

bash.org #55380

<Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a preview DVD of apparently quite a lot of their games. I have no DVD player. I do, however, have a PS2. CAN ANYONE SEE THE IRONY HERE!?

bash.org #4916 <Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic

2026-03-09T06:32:01Z

bash.org #4916

<Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic

bash.org #761380 <pmMike> getting onto bash is like ...

2026-03-09T02:32:01Z

bash.org #761380

<pmMike> getting onto bash is like breaking into a tank
<Sea_BBL> although nopt quite as satisfactorry when you have pulled it off.
<Sea_BBL> -bad spelling
<Erasmus> To be honest if you spend a lot of time trying to do either you've made a wrong turn in life somewhere.

bash.org #754399 <mayb> procrastination is like ...

2026-03-08T18:32:01Z

bash.org #754399

<mayb> procrastination is like masturbation
<mayb> it's fun until you realize you just fucked yourself

bash.org #123708 <@PCG|TMC_MusicmanTRS> ok... whats RIAA??

2026-03-08T06:32:01Z

bash.org #123708

<@PCG|TMC_MusicmanTRS> ok... whats RIAA??

bash.org #2770 <VmprHntrD> magic: the gathering of lower ...

2026-03-05T10:32:01Z

bash.org #2770

<VmprHntrD> magic: the gathering of lower lifeforms

bash.org #147270 <pronstar``afk> my kazaa preformed an ...

2026-03-05T08:32:01Z

bash.org #147270

<pronstar``afk> my kazaa preformed an illegal opperation
<cCCPehlet`> isn't that what kazaa is designed to do?

bash.org #114 <Dreamlyre> wife, hooker...its about the ...

2026-03-05T04:32:01Z

bash.org #114

<Dreamlyre> wife, hooker...its about the same...you gotta pay for it

bash.org #743281 < RedTee> Alright but i still dont have an ...

2026-03-05T00:32:02Z

bash.org #743281

< RedTee> Alright but i still dont have an answer on my second and last question
< nazgjunk> RedTee, you ask a question about DOS'ing with ping, without knowing what ping is
< RedTee> its not what im asking FFS
< RedTee> DO I need dos to preform a dos attack!?!?!?!?!
< einz> YES, don't you see name?
-!- RedTee [insurgent@HTSUser-4149B6F9.adsl.wanadoo.nl] has quit [Quit: alright THANKS FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

bash.org #758379 < Alkivar> we're on our way back from ...

2026-03-04T14:32:01Z

bash.org #758379

< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail

bash.org #15682 <jimmie> i was gonna spell something with ...

2026-03-04T12:32:01Z

bash.org #15682

<jimmie> i was gonna spell something with our inaddrs so when you tracerouted
our network it said stuff

bash.org #61891 <rawb-> Hey nyisles <rawb-> Wat doez ...

2026-03-04T04:32:02Z

bash.org #61891

<rawb-> Hey nyisles
<rawb-> Wat doez your nick mean?
<nyisles> it means Niles
<rawb-> nile, like that ocean?

bash.org #452306 * Earhart/#intersocs thinks about sex :-) ...

2026-03-02T12:32:01Z

bash.org #452306

* Earhart/#intersocs thinks about sex :-)
<mel> when do you not?
<mel> it's like
<mel> 10 Think about sex
<mel> 20 Goto 10

bash.org #103577 <NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED. <sheeps> ...

2026-03-01T02:32:01Z

bash.org #103577

<NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED.
<sheeps> it got lucky ay?
<NMO> Yeah, my subwoofer is such a fucking slut.

bash.org #8283 <Silent|Study> These Christian rock ads on ...

2026-02-27T10:32:02Z

bash.org #8283

<Silent|Study> These Christian rock ads on tv are so pathetic
<Silent|Study> Its like they assume people are going to suddenly think "OMG! JESUS! I never knew!

bash.org #949486 <Me> the nigerian prince scam is old ...

2026-02-26T08:32:02Z

bash.org #949486

<Me> the nigerian prince scam is old
<Me> today you do it like this:
<Me> hi, im an arabic dictator, and i have to get my vast fortune outside the country soon

bash.org #92841 <Zeni> I send in quotes all the time and ...

2026-02-26T04:32:01Z

bash.org #92841

<Zeni> I send in quotes all the time and they go "HURR DURR, WE R BASH, LETS REFUSE HUMOUR BECAUSE WE'RE FRENCH"

bash.org #833365 <Larno> I got terribly smashed the night ...

2026-02-26T02:32:02Z

bash.org #833365

<Larno> I got terribly smashed the night before
<Larno> And some electricity cable broke down in my street
<Larno> it was like 6am postman and garbage dudes were there- watching them workin on it and the street was blocked by police cars
<Larno> eventually they knocked at my door so i m in front of a cop, a worker with his helmet a garbage mate, a postman and my neighbour- a huge black guy who works in IT
<Larno> and all I can say is "oh maan the village people became jheovah witnesses"

bash.org #430941 <Zee-sleep> i got full marks for answering ...

2026-02-25T12:32:01Z

bash.org #430941

<Zee-sleep> i got full marks for answering "what would encryption be used for?" with "KFC's 11 secret herbs and spices"

bash.org #56118 <Mystiq`> i wish you spoke better english ...

2026-02-24T08:32:01Z

bash.org #56118

<Mystiq`> i wish you spoke better english
<[SePtOr]> i should not
<[SePtOr]> i dont have why... you understand what i wanna say... It even matter

bash.org #48958 <notklister> what kind of people make ...

2026-02-23T00:32:01Z

bash.org #48958

<notklister> what kind of people make computer programs?
<klister> programmers
<notklister> alright
<notklister> I think thats what Im going to tech school for

bash.org #16921 <[11]HannyArZ> hello, where can i buy ...

2026-02-21T18:32:01Z

bash.org #16921

<[11]HannyArZ> hello, where can i buy chanserv? I will trade warez for it

bash.org #595317 abby: i love guys who wear argyle socks abby: i ...

2026-02-21T14:32:01Z

bash.org #595317

abby: i love guys who wear argyle socks
abby: i got some for my dad
abby: ok.. that sounded weird

bash.org #3874 <Hostile> And now that i think of it, the ...

2026-02-21T04:32:01Z

bash.org #3874

<Hostile> And now that i think of it, the west coast should be all renamed to the wastelands
<Scofco> It should be renamed to the east coast
<Scofco> then we would have 2 east coasts
<Scofco> it would rid gang violence
<Scofco> end the east coast / west coast struggle
<Scofco> with a simple name change
<Scofco> I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE
<Hostile> AGREED

bash.org #38489 <arnoboltinager> is goatse down for anyone ...

2026-02-20T14:32:01Z

bash.org #38489

<arnoboltinager> is goatse down for anyone else?

bash.org #24962 <Cyrix> you can only curse me to eternal ...

2026-02-20T10:32:02Z

bash.org #24962

<Cyrix> you can only curse me to eternal damnation for so long

bash.org #2994 (phibor) im writing a windows based system called ...

2026-02-20T08:32:01Z

bash.org #2994

(phibor) im writing a windows based system called NegrOS
(evulanjal) lol
(qdial) that sounds ghetto
(qdial) what will it do?
(phibor) nothing, just like true niggers.
(nexxai) HAHAHAHAHAHA
(phibor) you give it a job and it will fuck it up..then it will smoke your weed and fuck your girlfriend too

bash.org #68592 <tinker> ok i can't do my man right... ...

2026-02-19T10:32:01Z

bash.org #68592

<tinker> ok i can't do my man right... i try to man man and it don't work i mean i installed from rpm by tar -RPM package.bz2 can anyone help it just crashes and says stuff to me
<soroh6> haha
<Threed> for help on doing your man, try gaysRus.com
<soroh6> he can't do his man right

bash.org #22443 <phatmike> wtf <phatmike> i dont ...

2026-02-19T04:32:01Z

bash.org #22443

<phatmike> wtf
<phatmike> i dont drink that much
<phatmike> wow
<phatmike> this coffee tastes weird
<phatmike> without the whiskey in it

bash.org #648899 <Nietzche> what kind of weird keyboard are ...

2026-02-18T12:32:01Z

bash.org #648899

<Nietzche> what kind of weird keyboard are you using
<Nietzche> dvorak or something
<Nietzche> BECAUSE GUESS WHAT
<Nietzche> IM USING QUERTY
<Nietzche> QWERTY
<Nietzche> omg
<Nietzche> how can i misspell qwerty
<Nietzche> >_>

bash.org #910103 coke420: Woo! Just reached lvl 60 on a 3rd ...

2026-02-09T14:32:01Z

bash.org #910103

coke420: Woo! Just reached lvl 60 on a 3rd character for WoW!
LexaDead: Great timing on that, I was just looking for a virgin to sacrifice.

bash.org #38659 <wangsta`> damnit <wangsta`> how the ...

2026-01-28T04:32:01Z

bash.org #38659

<wangsta`> damnit
<wangsta`> how the fuck do i turn that off
<wangsta`> everytime someone pastes a link it pops up
<@Ele|HW> oh?
<@Ele|HW> http://www.goatse.cx
<wangsta`> I FUCKING HATE YOU

bash.org #7801 (PJ) grrr (PJ) a car alarm is going off (PJ) OH ...

2026-01-14T14:32:01Z

bash.org #7801

(PJ) grrr
(PJ) a car alarm is going off
(PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
(PJ) fuck
(PJ) its our car

bash.org #32659 <Tizitchy> you know what sucks ...

2025-12-05T12:32:01Z

bash.org #32659

<Tizitchy> you know what sucks
<Tizitchy> I was staring at this girls ass in the mall while waiting in line
<Tizitchy> she was by a trash can
<Tizitchy> and this guy was behind me
<Tizitchy> said "Get a good view?"
<Tizitchy> i was laughing and said "yeah"
<Tizitchy> he goes "That's my daughter"

bash.org #9560 <PYRoTkNiX> i dont look at naked horses

2025-11-12T10:32:01Z

bash.org #9560

<PYRoTkNiX> i dont look at naked horses

bash.org #962756 < ntc> is it possible to recover encrypted ...

2025-08-17T04:32:01Z

bash.org #962756

< ntc> is it possible to recover encrypted files from an ecryptfs container? i lost the passphrase
< scorbutus> ntc: you could try filing a foia request with dhs

bash.org #75645 <cricket> I'm sure horse semen is just ...

2025-08-11T06:32:02Z

bash.org #75645

<cricket> I'm sure horse semen is just as tasty as regular semen

bash.org #643698 <barnacle> rape and sex are really the ...

2025-07-06T02:32:01Z

bash.org #643698

<barnacle> rape and sex are really the same thing
<SaxxonPike> Not exactly
<SaxxonPike> Well I can't think of the difference right now
<SaxxonPike> But I think rape is the bad one that you always see in the news
<SaxxonPike> Much like the difference between "nigga" and "nigger" I guess
<SaxxonPike> One is somehow bad, it's all in how you say it
<barnacle> i see

bash.org #6534 <SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern ...

2025-07-03T08:32:01Z

bash.org #6534

<SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention president stirred interfaith tumult when he described Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed pedophile."

bash.org #746742 <irzyxel> RANDY ! <irzyxel> long ...

2025-07-03T04:32:01Z

bash.org #746742

<irzyxel> RANDY !
<irzyxel> long time no see !
<irzyxel> hows the kids
<Randy`> still in my testicles, thankfully

bash.org #49298 <Tetsubo> ever wish you could just start ...

2025-07-02T06:32:01Z

bash.org #49298

<Tetsubo> ever wish you could just start life over cause you didn't know what to do the first time around and messed it all up?
<Tetsubo> why doesn't real life have a tutorial mode?

bash.org #51084 <Rivorus> my dad actually called the other ...

2025-07-01T16:32:01Z

bash.org #51084

<Rivorus> my dad actually called the other day, and he goes "You want to talk to mom" so I say "yeah" and then I hear him shout "Gina, you wanna talk to your son" and I hear her in the back say "I'm watching TV right now, I'll talk to him at Christmas" and my dad's like "She's... in the shower"

bash.org #106144 <MetalWyrm> every 2 minutes I wil post ...

2025-06-30T02:32:01Z

bash.org #106144

<MetalWyrm> every 2 minutes I wil post random quotes from bash.org because I am a complete and total asshole

bash.org #69673 (doggie^): im addicted to internet shopping or ...

2025-05-29T10:32:02Z

bash.org #69673

(doggie^): im addicted to internet shopping or something
(slippy): me too
(slippy): i bought 5 internets the other day

bash.org #41531 <pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 ...

2025-05-11T20:32:01Z

bash.org #41531

<pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 hours to go
<Glitch> lol, of what?
<tharok> u timing your wanking again pb?

bash.org #775778 cromar: If there is a God, why does he/she allow ...

2025-04-05T00:32:01Z

bash.org #775778

cromar: If there is a God, why does he/she allow disasters like earthquakes and Microsoft?
dvice_null: Are you comparing a disaster that causes billions of dollars financial losses and thousands of people to lose their home every year, to a natural movement of tectonic plates? That's low.

bash.org #1578 <calin> we had a guy at school that wore ...

2025-03-23T04:32:01Z

bash.org #1578

<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)

bash.org #948 (jesdynf) I want an emulator that, every time you ...

2025-03-20T02:32:01Z

bash.org #948

(jesdynf) I want an emulator that, every time you try to load a game, there's a 6% chance it pops up a dialog that says "It's not loading! Tap the A button to blow the dust out."

bash.org #170136 <EvilerMonkey> what time zone u in ...

2025-03-15T08:32:01Z

bash.org #170136

<EvilerMonkey> what time zone u in
<Johntuan> canada

bash.org #49013 <Shaka|HeatingUpSomeSaki> child. i dont ...

2025-03-13T12:32:02Z

bash.org #49013

<Shaka|HeatingUpSomeSaki> child. i dont care if you are a guy. you can show me what it means to be a man anytime

bash.org #51746 <Samantha> What bird was named for what was ...

2025-03-13T08:32:01Z

bash.org #51746

<Samantha> What bird was named for what was wrongly thought to be its country of origin?
<Kevyn> Turkey
<Samantha> Kev is da man
<Kevyn> It was either that or the Mexican

bash.org #2745 <doctorb> i want a microwavable dildo. ...

2025-03-11T08:32:01Z

bash.org #2745

<doctorb> i want a microwavable dildo. i'm sick of the cold plastic.

bash.org #12304 <@Breathe> Server announcement: ...

2025-03-11T04:32:02Z

bash.org #12304

<@Breathe> Server announcement: >>Attention please: We are about to reset the Linuxguy server to upgrade the chat softweare. This will cause you to disconnect. You should be able to reconnect right away. If you have any problems, please let us know in #magicstar.. We will reset linuxguy in 2 minutes.<<
<@Breathe> I love it. "If you can't reconnect, come into a channel and let us know!"

bash.org #106768 < GrandTheft> What would be an example of ...

2025-03-10T04:32:01Z

bash.org #106768

< GrandTheft> What would be an example of an iptables rule that would allow anything and everything to come into the computer?
< tewmten> ehm.. iptables -f perhaps?
< GrandTheft> hmm let me try that
| GrandTheft [Grand@68.16.40.90] quit #slackware [Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer)]

bash.org #561902 <Klaatu> I logged into the admin account ...

2025-03-08T12:32:02Z

bash.org #561902

<Klaatu> I logged into the admin account in a comp at my uni.
<Klaatu> I drew the word "Owned" and set it as the wallpaper.
<Hl1> Meh, that's good enough to hang with us. >.>
<Klaatu> 1337 :D
<Hl1> You just lost your cred.
<Klaatu> Aw fux0r. :(
<Hl1> And slowly going into the negatives...

bash.org #2908 <DEMI1999> ed's hit an all time high of ...

2025-02-18T12:32:01Z

bash.org #2908

<DEMI1999> ed's hit an all time high of un-understandability
<DEMI1999> <eDz0ph_gb> d0f eye ,ent n0am

bash.org #269849 <@smash> my friends dad is stationed there ...

2025-02-18T08:32:01Z

bash.org #269849

<@smash> my friends dad is stationed there at one of its borders.. some secret military shit.. but the surprising part is.. canada has a military which does stuff... :P
<+JP2> yeh they get coffee for the american soldiers

bash.org #46610 (&) rak (rak@vw-7462.idx.com.au) is trying to ...

2025-02-17T14:32:02Z

bash.org #46610

(&) rak (rak@vw-7462.idx.com.au) is trying to send you Gayness.exe(20 kb) on port 3283.

bash.org #76628 <Kinsy> my gf thought i was a raging paedo ...

2025-02-15T22:32:02Z

bash.org #76628

<Kinsy> my gf thought i was a raging paedo friday
<Kinsy> i said i was taking photos of 15 year olds
<Aries> i wonder why shed get suspicious
<Kinsy> i forgot to tell her i was taking photos of her mates little sister who was 15 and was out on the piss
<Aries> ....
<Aries> and you were taking photos because?
<Kinsy> because we were wasted and were having fun
<Aries> with 15 year olds?
<Aries> you were drunk, having 'fun' taking photos of 15 year olds?
<Aries> how does that NOT sound wrong in your head kins?

bash.org #608067 <zexis> hmmm you think this statistic is ...

2025-02-15T14:32:01Z

bash.org #608067

<zexis> hmmm you think this statistic is real?
<zexis> every 2 minutes a woman is raped in Ohio
<hal> why doesn't she just move?
<zexis> ?

bash.org #673833 <nmopal> Now if I had to follow a religion ...

2025-02-14T22:32:01Z

bash.org #673833

<nmopal> Now if I had to follow a religion it would be whatever them clapping black people follow.
<nmopal> That looks fun.

bash.org #57535 <Al> arabs can't spell so we have to ...

2025-02-12T10:32:01Z

bash.org #57535

<Al> arabs can't spell so we have to spell for them
<Al> that's why it's "Koran"
<Kurt> short for Korean
<Lloyddy> i thought ^_^ was short for korean
<jre> No, kek is
<Alien> huk of the ke
<Lloyddy> so is keke short for a jolly korean?
<jre> A kek is one unit of kekeke
<jre> THis throws people because of the extra letter
<Alien> keks bind together via k-ration-synthesis, where each unit sheds one k to form a long chain of kekekeks
<Kurt> FREAKIN NERD
<Alien> They're what we in the business call kekides
*Kurt spanks Alien with moon rocks
<jre> The extra Ks then bind to form the atmosphere of the Zerg homeworld
<jre> Koreans are to the Zerg homeworld what trees are to Earth
<jre> Coincidentally enough, when Zergs respirate, they take in Ks and breathe out chop suey
<Alien> When the polykekide chain is broken the free ks are broken to be used for klysis, rendering the Zerg atmosphere a vacuum.
<jre> LIAR

bash.org #49641 <DjSeph> I actually haven't had the Cup ...

2025-02-11T00:32:01Z

bash.org #49641

<DjSeph> I actually haven't had the Cup holder call, but I did have one where the customer dropped the computer out a 3 story window and blamed the fact that it shattered on Windows not being "stabile & tough enough".........they then told me that Linux could withstand the fall.........

bash.org #47462 <DavidGilmour> Some people are like ...

2025-02-07T06:32:01Z

bash.org #47462

<DavidGilmour> Some people are like Slinkies... generally useless, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

bash.org #282091 <Kathleen> wtflolz <Alex> lololorz ...

2025-02-06T20:32:01Z

bash.org #282091

<Kathleen> wtflolz
<Alex> lololorz
<Kevin> lol]
<Alex> haga
<Alex> 0wneef
<Kathleen> omg y3s.
<[X]> Is this some sort of idiot mating ritual? Should I get the Discovery Channel in here with cameras?

bash.org #4918 <joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to ...

2025-01-01T20:32:01Z

bash.org #4918

<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter

bash.org #328886 fuj1m0t0x: i fractured my wrist Firehawk18: what ...

2024-12-25T00:32:02Z

bash.org #328886

fuj1m0t0x: i fractured my wrist
Firehawk18: what you do?
fuj1m0t0x: playin bball
fuj1m0t0x: fell from the rim
fuj1m0t0x: my boner was 3 inches in the air
fuj1m0t0x: boner*
fuj1m0t0x: wtf

bash.org #445447 <Patrick`> holy crap, I'm 20 on ...

2024-04-14T23:32:01Z

bash.org #445447

<Patrick`> holy crap, I'm 20 on wednesday
<Patrick`> I'd better get pregnant in the next 5 days or I'll miss out on the best part of being a teen

bash.org #714697 <Daniel> The new bash quotes suck ...

2024-03-22T22:32:01Z

bash.org #714697

<Daniel> The new bash quotes suck
<Nictheman> You realise if this goes on bash, you'll be part of the new quotes, and will therefore suck?
<Daniel> ..
<Daniel> Fuck you.

bash.org #31120 <`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> pm me if u know some ...

2024-03-06T02:32:01Z

bash.org #31120

<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> pm me if u know some good ftps for movies
<coene|awake> ftp://this:isnt@awarez.channel
<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> is that up right now?