Maciek on Nostr: Change becomes real only when it begins to touch the people I have harmed. It is one ...

Change becomes real only when it begins to touch the people I have harmed. It is one thing to turn away from old behaviour inwardly. It is another to face the unfinished past and become willing to repair at least part of what I damaged.

This is difficult because I can get lost in two opposite illusions. I can try to fix everything perfectly, as if I could erase the past and save myself. Or I can give up completely and use the impossibility of full repair as an excuse to do nothing. The healthier way seems quieter and more honest. I do what is actually possible, without force and without performance, because making amends is less about looking good and more about becoming inwardly consistent, peaceful, and faithful to the change that has begun in me.

Sometimes direct repair will not be possible, and some doors will stay closed. Even then, the task does not disappear. I may still need to grieve what cannot be repaired directly and look for another real way to bring good where I once brought harm. Otherwise one part of my life remains pulled backwards into the past instead of being freed for the present.

#lent #12steps #step8

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At this point change stops being theoretical and becomes concrete. It is no longer enough to see the truth about myself, admit it, or even feel sorry for it; at some point I have to face the people I harmed and become willing to make things right.

This is difficult, because I can treat amends either as a punishment or avoid them altogether. But both ways miss something important: making amends is not meant to be a grim extra burden, but a real part of healing, a way of taking responsibility and letting inner change become visible in actual life.

Sometimes I will not be able to repair the damage directly, and sometimes returning to a person I harmed may not be possible or wise. Even then, I am not released from the task, because the point is not to ease my guilt cheaply, but to let this change take root in me so that I stop hiding from the harm I caused and begin to live differently.

In that sense, Step Eight asks for courage. It asks me to stop settling for reflection without action and to trust that God can use even this painful work to restore honesty, dignity, and a deeper kind of freedom.

#lent #12steps #step8
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