Liberthea Anadara on Nostr: thats beautiful advice about leaving a narcissist: I know you meant well. But people ...

thats beautiful advice about leaving a narcissist:

I know you meant well. But people aren't recognizing that not everyone has support groups. Not everyone has a safe place to run to. And when you're in a bad environment, the planning part of your brain shuts down. That's not weakness. That's biology.

Telling abuse survivors to "make a plan" isn't help. It's pressure. It's another thing they can't do right now.

What they need is someone to say: "How can I help?" Not "here's a to-do list."

I'm not in a great space. I don't have support. I'm being forced to dig my way out alone. And every time someone gives me advice like this, I want to slap them. Not because they're wrong. Because they don't see that I can't.

So if you want to help someone in this situation, don't give them a plan. Be the plan. Drive the car. Make the call. Hold the door.

That's not codependency. That's trauma-informed.

And until you've been there, maybe just say: "I'm sorry. That's awful. What do you need right now?"

Not advice. Presence.

That's help.