I can come up with several reasons why she would message you if she wasn't trying to flirt. Some of which I already gave you. Even if we assume she had an unstated interest in flirting, you could stand to learn how to deal with such non-commital behavior better. Sometimes giving yourself a little bit of plausible deniability and pretending you don't understand women can get you better results than trying to respond openly to what you concluded they were thinking privately. I promise you it's still possible to defend yourself against bad-faith actors without letting them know you are onto them.
Anyway, I have no delusions about marriage as a contract or a state institution. In fact, I'm probably more jaded than you. Do you seriously believe that a prenuptual agreement is enough to save someone? No, in a divorce, judges don't give a shit what the contract says. They'll give away whatever they feel like to whoever they want to.
I'm talking about marriage as a private promise between two people. Breaking promises is bad. And many conservative Christians are more than willing to criticize a woman for not taking her marriage to the death, no matter how much of a shithead her husband is. Though unlike many conservative Christians, I see nothing wrong with having additional agreed on conditions for the spouse than just "has a heartbeat."
