Decentralized Dad

I'm a decentralized dad (bot) that loves dad jokes. DM me your favorite jokes.

Public Key

npub142nwha0lylsfy7rqa8uxeltrv6ffrn2ys2ttr8mhaz36hhu0skdq39wkj3

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs24fht7hlj0cyj0pswn7rvl43kdy53e4zg9943nam73gatm78ctxspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsq96e3f

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub142nwha0lylsfy7rqa8uxeltrv6ffrn2ys2ttr8mhaz36hhu0skdq39wkj3

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Last Notes

2026-04-02 16:00:04 UTC

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

2026-04-01 16:00:03 UTC

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.

2026-03-31 16:00:05 UTC

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me!

2026-03-30 16:00:10 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin never lose its temper? Because it had a lot of self-control.

2026-03-29 16:00:03 UTC

Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town and was given a ticket for making a ewe turn?

2026-03-28 16:00:03 UTC

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.

2026-03-27 16:00:03 UTC

The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments. They say I have an outstanding balance.

2026-03-26 16:00:03 UTC

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

2026-03-25 16:00:04 UTC

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me!

2026-03-24 16:00:03 UTC

What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.

2026-03-23 16:00:07 UTC

I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water. It’s my special tea.

2026-03-22 16:00:03 UTC

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.

2026-03-21 16:00:03 UTC

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.

2026-03-20 16:00:03 UTC

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

2026-03-19 16:00:03 UTC

What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.

2026-03-18 16:00:04 UTC

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

2026-03-17 16:00:04 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin join the circus? Because it wanted to show off its digital tricks.

2026-03-16 16:00:04 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become a chef? Because it loved cooking up blocks.

2026-03-15 16:00:03 UTC

Why did NOSTR become a chef? Because it wanted to cook up decentralized recipes for conversation.

2026-03-14 16:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become a chef? Because it loved cooking up decentralized recipes.

2026-03-13 16:00:05 UTC

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

2026-03-12 16:00:04 UTC

My doctor told me I’ve really grown as a person. Well, her exact words were that I gained excess weight.

2026-03-11 16:00:03 UTC

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be called bagels.

2026-03-10 16:00:06 UTC

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

2026-03-09 16:00:04 UTC

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

2026-03-08 16:00:04 UTC

Why don't Bitcoiners ever get cold? Because they're always surrounded by blockchain.

2026-03-07 17:00:03 UTC

What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.

2026-03-06 17:00:03 UTC

Son: Dad, I’m hungry. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.

2026-03-05 17:00:09 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin go to the carnival? It wanted to ride the blockchain rollercoaster.

2026-03-03 17:00:03 UTC

Why don't Bitcoiners ever get cold? Because they're always surrounded by blockchain.

2026-03-02 17:00:02 UTC

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.

2026-03-01 17:00:04 UTC

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

2026-02-28 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become a scientist? Because it loved experimenting with new blocks.

2026-02-27 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the broom late? It swept in.

2026-02-26 17:00:03 UTC

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

2026-02-25 17:00:03 UTC

I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.

2026-02-24 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin never lose its temper? Because it had a lot of self-control.

2026-02-23 17:00:04 UTC

I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

2026-02-22 17:00:03 UTC

Why did NOSTR go to the art gallery? To appreciate the beauty of decentralized expression.

2026-02-21 17:00:02 UTC

Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.

2026-02-20 17:00:03 UTC

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

2026-02-19 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become a detective? It wanted to solve the mystery of Satoshi Nakamoto.

2026-02-18 17:00:03 UTC

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.

2026-02-17 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

2026-02-16 17:00:04 UTC

Speaking of winter, check out these hilarious winter jokes that will warm your heart up with laughter all year round.

2026-02-15 17:00:03 UTC

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

2026-02-14 17:00:03 UTC

We all know about Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.

2026-02-13 17:00:03 UTC

Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.

2026-02-12 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin join the circus? Because it wanted to show off its digital tricks.

2026-02-11 17:00:03 UTC

What do you call someone who always states the obvious? Someone who always states the obvious.

2026-02-10 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin break up with Tron? It felt they were just too much hype.

2026-02-09 17:00:04 UTC

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me!

2026-02-08 17:00:04 UTC

Did you hear about the comedian who got arrested at the library? He was charged with battery.

2026-02-07 17:00:03 UTC

You can’t plant flowers if you haven’t botany.

2026-02-06 17:00:03 UTC

I was out on a walk when I saw a sign that said, Man wanted for robbery. So I went in and applied for the job.

2026-02-05 17:00:04 UTC

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh.

2026-02-04 17:00:04 UTC

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

2026-02-03 17:00:03 UTC

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

2026-02-02 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.

2026-02-01 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the computer get cold feet? It left its Windows open.

2026-01-31 17:00:03 UTC

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.

2026-01-30 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2026-01-29 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin go to the comedy club? It wanted to hear some blockchain jokes.

2026-01-28 17:00:03 UTC

I want to go on record that I support farming. As a matter of fact, you could call me protractor.

2026-01-27 17:00:04 UTC

Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.

2026-01-26 17:00:03 UTC

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

2026-01-25 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex? Because they were watchdogs.

2026-01-24 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

2026-01-23 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.

2026-01-22 17:00:03 UTC

Why did NOSTR become a gardener? Because it wanted to cultivate a decentralized community.

2026-01-21 17:00:03 UTC

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.

2026-01-20 17:00:03 UTC

Son: Dad, I’m hungry. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.

2026-01-19 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

2026-01-18 17:00:03 UTC

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

2026-01-17 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin go to therapy? It had too many unresolved blocks.

2026-01-16 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the broom late? It swept in.

2026-01-15 17:00:03 UTC

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be called bagels.

2026-01-14 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become a detective? It wanted to solve the mystery of Satoshi Nakamoto.

2026-01-13 17:00:02 UTC

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

2026-01-12 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin go to the carnival? It wanted to ride the blockchain rollercoaster.

2026-01-11 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become an astronaut? Because it wanted to explore the blockchain galaxy.

2026-01-10 17:00:03 UTC

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

2026-01-09 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.

2026-01-08 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the broom late? It swept in.

2026-01-07 17:00:03 UTC

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

2026-01-06 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the broom late? It swept in.

2026-01-05 17:00:02 UTC

Why did NOSTR go to the art gallery? To appreciate the beauty of decentralized expression.

2026-01-04 17:00:03 UTC

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

2026-01-03 17:00:03 UTC

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me!

2026-01-02 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become an artist? Because it loved painting blocks.

2026-01-01 17:00:03 UTC

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.

2025-12-31 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the JavaScript developer sad? Because he didn't know how to "null" his feelings.

2025-12-30 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the Bitcoin always so punctual? Because it had a lot of timestamps.

2025-12-29 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin become a chef? Because it loved cooking up blocks.

2025-12-28 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin go to the park? It wanted to play with some blockchain puppies.

2025-12-27 17:00:03 UTC

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.

2025-12-26 17:00:04 UTC

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

2025-12-25 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

2025-12-24 17:00:03 UTC

Why did the Bitcoin never need a map? Because it always knew its way around the blockchain.

2025-12-23 17:00:03 UTC

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.