The king of antisocial media. Blow yourself.
Public Key
npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j Profile Code
nprofile1qqsfgwudnluhtna9wemhdpv3ngjtmd6xyyxdurultcmc4pa744alf7cpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds0ucw7y
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Published at
2026-07-27T21:51:42Z Event JSON
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"content": "{\"name\":\"The Turtle\",\"about\":\"The king of antisocial media. Blow yourself.\\n\\nVoted for Trump? Leave. Now.\\n\\nStop having babies before I find and shame the living fuck out of you. I am a big fan of hammers. No longer a tech addict and mostly militantly don't give a shit.\\n\\nRather fast on the block button lately. If you feel the urge to preach, mansplain or victimsplain, quell it. You have a block button, too.\\n\\nDoing my part to feed AI absurd shit so it learns wrong. I like teaching AI wrong.\\n\\nStroke survivor. \\n\\nI don't govy.\\n\\nMooooo: Check the oil in your Ronco® Dild-O-Matic now.\\nOyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy: CHICKENFARTS UBER ALLES!!!\\nLAST TACO BELL BEFORE DEATH VALLEY!: A Mark Goodson/Bill Todman Production\\nYogh?: YOGH!\\n\",\"website\":\"https://mastodon.sdf.org/@the_turtle\",\"picture\":\"https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/accounts/avatars/109/293/902/082/222/533/original/c1dc8d93a376619b.jpg\",\"banner\":\"https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/accounts/headers/109/293/902/082/222/533/original/0ec6599290cecfb2.jpg\",\"nip05\":\"[email protected] \"}" ,
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Last Notes npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Today's mail brought a 1905 Elgin 296. Seller had it listed as not running, but as sometimes happens it just wants a little racing oil and some attention, and it's now ticking away just fine. It's quite shiny even for not going on the buffer yet. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle I once started a collaborative effort for NaNoWriMo in the early days (last century) but it never really gelled and we got maybe 35 pages written. I think I was a lot more absurd than she was. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle 2027 was too soon for trump to figure out how to siphon money off of this somehow. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Railroads and watches grew up together. Without realtime communications (the telegraph isn't quite), you depended on timetables and accurate timekeeping, or people died. If the guy behind you thinks you're off the track section at 5:11 and somebody's watch is seven minutes off, things can get bonkety-bonk really damn fast. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle sorta like this from an earlier era, where Tubby the Tuba is blowing himself. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle get the piece onto the reading list of a freshman English class at a small college, then register for the class under a pseudonym, and those adjunct instructors will tell you all about what you meant. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/116/465/175/465/251/879/original/5848a00ab4b11036.mp3 npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle he used to play the Festival. Piano player. Quite raucous. Only plays on Saturday, only plays in the key of C. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle is Bobby Lounge playing tomorrow? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle I mostly see that the walls are thinner, and all the components are lighter. And they keep wanting to shove features in that have nothing to do with keeping food from turning gray. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle the refrigerator that came with my old farm lasted 28 years, dying just as I left. The chest freezer in the basement was built in 1953 and almost certainly is still working 73 years later. International Harvester's Home Appliance Division was no joke. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle the existence of a state called New Braska implies the existence of Old Braska, which I'm pretty sure is Ohio. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/116/443/791/542/159/282/original/cce3f452922f4cf7.jpg npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle that and that cat food fucked up an entire American generation's spelling of "victuals." npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle maybe, but it's more convenient to wait until you see trump somewhere, then kick his ass. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle business startups are always a challenge. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle i thought directions down there were all about what used to be someplace, not long-ago felonies. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Mr. Green Jeans never killed anybody!! npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle no such thing has ever happened to my posts here. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle truth be told, i did sign up for author alerts after I bought your book last year... but Amazon lies a lot. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle I keep getting these reminders from Amazon about Ellen Morris Prewitt. I think she's a famous writer, or maybe she invented a new USB cat deflabinator or something. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle trump is gonna die before we can jail or ceaucescu him. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Jean replaced the power strip under her bed, which she reported was too hot to touch. That could explain the slight ozone smell I have detected sometimes. Also, flat power strips seem to magically attract dust and cats to piss in the electricity holes, shorting them out. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle COW WITH HANDLEBARS!! npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Around DC, the DC Question when people meet you is always "what do you do?" npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle are there any Black people running for Green Margarine's abandoned House seat in Georgia? Surely out of 21 candidates they can't all be stupid white guys. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle there is an entire CALENDAR of flatulence holidays! npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/116/052/766/099/458/220/original/8a670668db91cd08.webp npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle that's far too many. You should just have a single Commodore VIC-20, patched to run slower. Surplus of choice is a leading cause of insanity, as is well-known to science. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/116/047/041/069/967/189/original/6e2880d54af059da.webp npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle These iron supplement pills have a shelf life of over three years. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle if you wanna be extreme, just invite over a bunch of friends and dice up the pages and reassemble them like "Naked Lunch," but mix in a few pages from a Volvo service manual and the menu from a bad taco place. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle editors are not gods. Do it the way you intended. Your life does not have to be a Wikipedia biography. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle something somehow better than these old-style tin and wire ones I can get 50 for four bucks? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle yeah. He should not be "John Kennedy..." while I may not have known our 35th real President, at least I was alive when he was, "and you sir are no John Kennedy!" npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle he needs to change his name. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Kennedy is a dope. Bill Cassidy is generally OK for a republican. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle if you were desperate you could VPN, but I have never felt any level of desperation with BlueSky.* npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle The mowuss is a continuing point of conflict. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Farty Gras isn't for a few weeks, right? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle regular old Fruit Of The Loom Eversoft Fleece. Fifteen bucks on Amazon, four colors and sizes from small to 4XL. I pretty much live in them. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/115/832/514/909/271/051/original/44dc6b6ccf2e14f2.png npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle "HEY! I DON'T PUT MY ASS ON YOUR STUFF!!" npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle At the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, Irma Thomas is doing the National Anthem. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle @npub1cqh…a0wq in New York, everybody knew he was an asshole 50 years ago. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle A non-whining 1907 Elgin 291. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle After around 50 years of looking, I may have located a copy of the score of the late George Siravo's 1972 piece, "Fantasy On The Blues." npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle i got Jean two sets of the cat-butt cutters a few years ago. One is larger and features detailed tails and (*) butthole detail, so of course she never makes THOSE... npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle do you have the cat butt cookie cutters? The good ones have a * in the anatomically-correct place. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle i mis-read that as "defecating banter." npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle while initially, I want them voted out, I'd also like to see quite a few of them asked to leave helicopters high over the Atlantic, "fall" from windows, or maybe just get Ceacescued like the old days. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle at least Cassidy is not a complete asshole. I have no idea how he deals with that other "John Kennedy" from Louisiana. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle i woulda said something like "mandatory Crocs" or something. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle "corn," and then everything else in the grains were ignored. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/115/632/429/077/801/521/original/359204bd1e2fb628.jpg npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle I have no idea how StubHub can lose such an assload of money. Their whole business is about selling stuff they don't buy and don't own... four bucks a share is an assload of money. Over a billion dollars. Are they giving people's tickets away? They don't have any expensive ads featuring annoying D-listers. Are they heating the office by burning money? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle years ago a lady refused to date me. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Every time one of the characters in a Hallmark Christmas movie says, "honey, what's wrong?" I mentally finish it with "I'm in a Hallmark movie!" npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle they used to make "moderate" in a lot of things, but they were discontinued in the 1960s and nobody refurbishes the old ones if you can even find a moderate in a thrift store behind the rack of old-lady pantsuits. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Ok, bird people: what IS this bird that sits in the back yard some mornings and says, "danger, danger, danger, danger, DICK!" npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle I am ok with November, because I have never been a vember. Vembing is somewhat offensive to me. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle we were discussing them the other day. Sixty years ago paper straws were not only tough enough to withstand knocking the paper off by slamming the end on a table, they could ALSO punch through that little hole in the side of the half-pint wax-paper Ex-Cell-O milk thing at school. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle for a lot of small businesses, no one knows HOW to update their website. Eight years ago they got some high school kid to set it up on Weebly, he didn't tell anyone the password, and is now in graduate school. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle anybody says "impactfully," they're gettin' the gun. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/115/368/911/165/615/869/original/975752e29cbec5a1.jpg npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle it occurs to me that Pre-Code Vomit Scene would be a great name for a punk club. Or band. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle does he only do that to majority-black cities? I mean, has he sent the troops to, say, Salt Lake City or Sarasota? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle the enormous majority don't have stocks and might have heard the word "crypto" but don't begin to understand it. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Can anybody name anything trump has done that is actually making anything better? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle i found this one a few months ago. This actually exists, too: npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle This is astonishing. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle why? Just because "apple doesn't support it" means nothing to me. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle i don't ask. I have a lot of small weird things too, including a whisk barely larger than a Q-tip and a Rotato. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle where do you go that they have normal spoons? Every place we go assumes I will eat soup with what amounts to a shovel, and when I ask for a "normal spoon, a teaspoon" it's as if I am suddenly speaking Romulan or Xhosa. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle sugar shell, as in frozen/solidified sugar syrup, or do they still make that "Magic Shell" chocolate stuff from the 1970s? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Holy fuck, I worked there for YEARS and never had access to NUMIDENT. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle You know what we don't have yet? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle If you're real religious and plan on sending your kid tot jesuscamp every summer, you should name it "DrunkenNakedYouthPastor." npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle oh, yeah. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle truth be told, i did have a stroke three weeks after the election. I blame trump because it's fun and easy. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle i have not actively watch or listened to a newscast since the day before Election Day last year. It's been pleasant. What news I do get is filtered down through here. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Cool. They're about a mile from here. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle I got a BOOK! npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle if I remember at some point the protagonist is put on trial for rebellion, I think. Like I said, I don't have a copy to pull out any more. 2nd wife "rearranged" things, much of which apparently vanished from earth. I read nearly everything he ever wrote years ago, but it gets a bit jumbled in memory 40 years later. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle could possibly be "Player Piano," a 1952 novel he wrote abour the rejection of technology by some of its high-priest practitioners, but I no longer have a copy to refer to. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle argh. I will see if I can figure out which one it was. Some blinkenlights thing in a courtroom. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle didn't Kurt Vonnegut write a short story about this in the Fifties? Except it was all vacuum tubes. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle wait, you dated Caroline, too? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Just you wait, the good old days are coming back! npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/114/773/796/395/213/123/original/401f03b1419e6743.jpeg npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle This is not far away. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Is grilled cantaloupe a thing now? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle looks a lot like Los Angeles Union Station. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle yup. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle no one has raised the possibility AWS could not-be-assholes and not dump NOAA's buckets instantly. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle https://mastodon.sdf.org/system/media_attachments/files/114/237/624/274/658/170/original/6463c445a3aef313.jpg npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle ok, but the bathrooms are incredibly restrictive. npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle is this so they can try to resume in a few years? Or are they just documenting the destruction? npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle "There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part! You can't even passively take part! And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels ... upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" npub1jsacm8lewh862anhw6zerx3yhkm5vggvmc8e7h3h32rmattm7nast7py3j The Turtle Think of the stupidest person you have ever known.
