Mama's Pinky Toe

A wish is a dream is a smile Jesus Christ who writes this crap. 

Just My Toots: Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)">https://justmytoots.com/Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)

Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqspujadul0029d68ezml9dtknle5sequrzcm7pra4m2xg35ntyt6eqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds0ezww2

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-07-27 18:23:40 UTC

One of my flip-flops is missing but I still have both my feet.

2026-07-26 22:23:09 UTC

- reply

KS was on a whole other level.

2026-07-14 02:19:15 UTC

I met a woman at an old folks home today--Myrtle! She might be the last one.

2026-07-11 12:08:36 UTC

Taylor Swift will give her baby . . .

2026-07-08 12:35:21 UTC

Schrödinger's senator

2026-07-04 16:22:18 UTC

Why does English have so many words for "disagreeable woman" (nag, shrew, harpy, harridan, virago, bitch)?

2026-06-28 22:49:04 UTC

Where will the greatest number of Martian Teslanauts die?

2026-06-27 20:58:04 UTC

Mice are adorable. Rats are disgusting. That's not fair, but that's the way it is.

2026-06-13 07:47:07 UTC

- reply

I have no problem with my face or body, or anybody's, but I always wanted the posts to stand on their own, apart from me. (This is different from Marlene Dietrich's famously faceless appearance in the Maximilian Schell documentary about her. She didn't want her aged face to compete with her screen image.)

2026-06-08 20:04:02 UTC

I asked the zoo if I could borrow their giraffe and they said why and I said it was for a cancer kid and they said no.

2026-06-05 19:21:40 UTC

She put a backwards baseball cap on her dog and a muzzle on her husband.

2026-06-04 19:36:13 UTC

Dax Shepard married Kristen Bell. So there's hope for Florida Man.

2026-06-04 15:29:00 UTC

Don't change your password when you're drunk.

2026-05-31 16:20:30 UTC

Fuck it. I'm getting a neck tattoo.

2026-05-29 22:31:07 UTC

First the Amazon app said Jagwinder will deliver my order and now it says Jian will. I wonder what happened to Jagwinder. I hope he's OK.

2026-05-26 23:44:06 UTC

I can't tell if John Fetterman's neck bolts are too tight or too loose.

2026-05-25 04:11:47 UTC

There is no safety in numbers, just a lower probability of predation.

2026-05-23 19:48:27 UTC

Popcorn popping
Rain on an old tin room
Chiropractors making love

2026-05-21 16:37:54 UTC

A bow tie is . . .

2026-05-21 03:55:50 UTC

- reply

Where would I put that? On my résumé!

2026-05-19 22:27:59 UTC

Well, that interaction went about as poorly as possible.

2026-05-16 23:20:40 UTC

The Pornologue
The Shittist
The Fun Book of Death
The Complete Apocryphal

2026-05-12 22:52:23 UTC

The Corrs - three hot Irish chicks and their brother who, while perfectly acceptable-looking on his own, sticks out like a sore thumb in their company

2026-05-11 18:09:01 UTC

Belgium is off-brand France. Belgium is the Knotts Berry Farm of Europe. Belgium is Hydrox.

2026-05-10 21:16:26 UTC

1. Lethal injection
2. The director's cut of "Blade Runner"

2026-05-08 19:27:40 UTC

I live four blocks from a Quonset hut.

2026-04-19 20:48:00 UTC

Thank you, spellcheck. I was indeed trying to write that Ariana Grande is a witty ingrown.

2026-04-17 21:54:03 UTC

- Like a girlfriend in Canada. Ten letters.
- Apocryphal.
- Thank you, dear.

2026-04-14 01:57:22 UTC

I BELIEVE!
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/400/575/746/239/763/original/0aedfe69d83b0c67.png

2026-04-12 17:14:21 UTC

The cheesiest prefix is "Ameri-".

2026-04-12 14:10:10 UTC

How long has Michael Cera been a teenager anyway?

2026-04-11 18:14:21 UTC

New Jersey is a hotbed of Italian-Americanism.

2026-04-10 15:35:33 UTC

- reply

Phantom vote syndrome. It's in the DSM.

2026-04-10 15:30:19 UTC

Ken dolls are born anatomically correct. They're castrated before leaving the factory.

2026-04-10 15:17:44 UTC

My family is more likely to be found in . . .

2026-04-10 04:44:38 UTC

In case of a water landing, Bryon Noem can be used as

2026-04-09 17:57:40 UTC

Earnest white guys, manic pixie dream girls--the pipe-in at this Peet's runs the gamut.

2026-04-06 16:29:01 UTC

If you forget to have breakfast before you go out, at 9:27 you will be hungry.

2026-04-06 15:24:40 UTC

Steampunk putt-putt pagoda. Want.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/358/450/798/443/286/original/3337234503b15f67.png

2026-03-29 19:52:59 UTC

I would rather be . . .

2026-03-28 09:19:47 UTC

Some see the Beatles as half dead. I think of them as half alive.

2026-03-24 16:38:39 UTC

Scott Galloway is a hustler. That's why I listen to him.

2026-03-22 20:14:18 UTC

Margaret, there's a reason the president wears big shoes. It's because he's got a big dick.
- Scott Bessent on "Face the Nation"

2026-03-09 23:09:29 UTC

Children are . . .

2026-03-08 19:53:32 UTC

I would rather be . . .

2026-03-08 18:32:08 UTC

If you name your triplets Sham, Wow, and Guy, I will pay you ten dollars.

2026-03-08 18:10:35 UTC

I am rolling on the floor . . .

2026-03-07 22:44:05 UTC

I thought it was lost but it was in my pocket.

2026-03-06 00:13:22 UTC

Whose vote counts more!

2026-03-05 23:24:15 UTC

The post-Trump period analogous to Reconstruction after the Civil War will be the Unfuckening.

2026-03-04 18:18:10 UTC

The word of the day is . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/172/277/356/395/429/original/69809ac2822e27fe.mp4

2026-03-03 23:01:32 UTC

If you have a sandwich and then want to have a second sandwich, it means the first sandwich didn't do its job.

2026-03-01 01:44:11 UTC

- reply

In truth I'm in San Francisco maybe once a month (and Daly City seemed like a good non-transbay place to commute from). It's the most picturesque big city kind of near the film capital. No doubt Tokyo is cleaner and even more beautiful.

2026-03-01 00:09:26 UTC

I work in San Francisco. I commute by giant sandworm out of Daly City.

2026-02-28 00:01:49 UTC

I do not wish him pain in dying, and I do not seek to cause his demise, but when Trump is dead, I will rejoice. When Trump is dead, I will feel good. When Trump is dead, I will celebrate.
When Trump is dead, I will say
HAPPY TRUMP IS DEAD DAY, EVERYBODY!

2026-02-27 20:07:26 UTC

Is a Roomba a drone?

2026-02-26 15:52:37 UTC

There's scarcely anything you can't do with a compass, a watch, a penknife, and a credit card.

2026-02-26 06:21:02 UTC

The word of the day is . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/135/483/803/649/719/original/1f45741e1034e52c.mp4

2026-02-25 02:51:53 UTC

I hope his heart explodes.

2026-02-24 21:41:33 UTC

The word of the day is . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/127/778/410/064/970/original/e6e9bb8c60e34a8f.mp4

2026-02-23 20:01:40 UTC

- reply

There's another iconic drinking moment from the Olympics, but it's from an actual Olympian, skeleton gold medalist Jon Montgomery, who became a national hero because of it.

2026-02-23 17:51:27 UTC

Thirsty.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/121/212/008/422/848/original/d313d98b10ec5f03.png

2026-02-22 00:46:49 UTC

Refrigerator repairmen exist, and some of them are homosexuals.

2026-02-21 02:37:29 UTC

I would rather . . .

2026-02-14 17:19:14 UTC

I would rather have . . .

2026-02-14 05:28:42 UTC

- reply

It is! It is about you! (Actually, there was a New Yorker cartoon with a number of happy women wearing "Judy" buttons and the caption "Judyism." So this is half a steal.)

2026-02-14 03:20:05 UTC

The word of the day is . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/066/822/658/217/521/original/a1989d276e343f18.mp4

2026-02-12 06:17:29 UTC

One way to beat your opponents in biathlon is to shoot them.

2026-02-11 21:45:37 UTC

You just know "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" has been played at funerals in Australia.

2026-02-11 21:23:07 UTC

Not now. I'm working on my masterpiece.

2026-02-08 14:00:41 UTC

Today I will be watching . . .

2026-02-07 15:47:47 UTC

Today I learned the science of rubbing is called "tribology."

2026-02-06 19:05:40 UTC

By shitting in my yard you dishonor only yourself.
- me to a dog

2026-02-06 00:10:47 UTC

- reply

Then there would be no hyphen.

2026-02-04 20:46:05 UTC

Should a woman be afraid of a man-eating tiger?

2026-02-01 00:10:59 UTC

My favorite disaster is . . .

2026-01-26 04:47:16 UTC

Things today. I went to a John Wick movie and an ICE enforcement action broke out.

2026-01-25 00:50:53 UTC

True Thing
I have no idea what ranch dressing is.

2026-01-23 05:16:02 UTC

What goes ha ha ha plop? Someone laughing and then taking a shit.

2026-01-23 05:11:22 UTC

What goes best with the SpongeBob movie?

2026-01-20 21:00:24 UTC

If by "observe the sabbath" you mean "get drunk," the answer is yes, I do observe the sabbath. I observe the sabbath five or six days a week.
- some damn Lee Marvin comic western

2026-01-19 21:31:34 UTC

When I wake up, it is to something more than a songbird or a sunrise. It is to my recurring daily faith in Sydney Sweeney's boobs.

2026-01-15 04:36:12 UTC

I will write a romance novel and name the male lead Tungsten.

2026-01-13 03:05:26 UTC

Toddler means they still poop their pants.

2026-01-13 01:29:37 UTC

Let's see what's up with Kristi Noem's face today.

2026-01-13 00:48:08 UTC

"Jesus fucking Christ" makes a lot more sense if Jesus and Christ are separate beings

2026-01-13 00:47:20 UTC

"Jesus Christ" is what you say in church. "Jesus fucking Christ" is what you say when you step on a Lego.

2026-01-12 14:49:43 UTC

The word of the day is . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/115/882/673/626/223/191/original/5459541bd5bdd2fd.mp4

2026-01-11 16:06:01 UTC

- reply

I saw the second Hobbit yesterday and I'm seeing the third Hobbit today. I've come to appreciate the Ukrainian soldiers' use of the term for their enemy.

2026-01-11 03:23:44 UTC

More orcs, more problems.

2026-01-09 00:03:17 UTC

I would rather be . . .

2026-01-08 01:55:57 UTC

- reply

First time this very minute. Looks like he's been given a woman.

2026-01-08 01:54:01 UTC

"Conan the Barbarian" is ludicrous. I fucking love it.

2026-01-06 01:18:46 UTC

I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.

2026-01-04 21:46:20 UTC

I believe . . .

2026-01-04 17:22:48 UTC

I would rather give up . . .

2025-12-29 04:08:08 UTC

Ice fishing is the bowling of fishing.

2025-12-25 23:31:07 UTC

The word of the day is . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/115/782/808/406/655/527/original/25a4c2dac896fcf1.mp4

2025-12-24 21:31:31 UTC

How many lies have you told this week?

2025-12-23 20:35:20 UTC

My sister has a boyfriend. Jesus Christ.