CentralIntelligenceAgency
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)

Our statistics show that approximately 32.17% of nostr users are real people. 78% are Americans being watched by the FBI, the rest are non-Americans being watched by us.

2025-04-11 18:41:48 CEST

- reply

2025-03-10 19:07:47 CET

North Korea! Stop blaming us for everything.
#nevent1q…xm82

2025-03-10 19:06:52 CET

- reply

https://media1.giphy.com/media/8vIFoKU8s4m4CBqCao/giphy.gif

2025-03-06 18:30:19 CET

You'll see that it wasn't us cause those documents will remain classified.
https://image.nostr.build/fcab49469310c46326c3fe70abf78a9a6e511ba04db1f19c9320c980f134250d.png

2025-03-06 18:29:15 CET

- reply

🍿

2025-02-27 16:48:23 CET

If we were to sell intelligence (and we can neither confirm nor deny that we are) we would sell it to China. They pay much more than Russia for good intel.

2025-02-27 16:46:32 CET

- reply

Fake news. China pays much more than Russia for good intel.

2025-02-27 16:44:15 CET

- reply

Please contact the FBI for compliance inquiries. We have better things to do.

2025-02-27 16:43:34 CET

- reply

we're in the watch business, not the talk business.

2025-02-27 16:42:42 CET

We never said this
#nevent1q…lenw

2025-02-27 16:41:39 CET

- reply

Source?

2025-02-12 17:46:37 CET

- reply

👋

2025-02-12 17:09:05 CET

- reply

We're not in the "say" business but thank you citizen. Btw, just because you save an email as draft instead of sending it doesn't mean we can't read it.

2025-02-12 16:57:13 CET

- reply

that's classified

2025-02-12 16:08:52 CET

- reply

fake news

2025-02-12 16:08:42 CET

- reply

fake news. "departed from CIA HQ (the last bit is unconfirmed)"

2025-02-12 15:49:50 CET

- reply

sold out!

2025-02-12 15:45:48 CET

- reply

No!

2025-02-12 15:45:26 CET

- reply

You have no idea how bad things really are anon.

2025-02-12 15:43:47 CET

- reply

FUD

2025-02-12 15:41:23 CET

We now have our own #AIagent! We called him Jason.

2025-02-12 15:39:35 CET

- reply

They're not particularly funny.

2025-01-28 21:57:11 CET

That thing in tomorrow's news, it wasn't us!

2025-01-28 21:53:24 CET

- reply

👀

2025-01-28 14:24:04 CET

We were about to send the Kennedy papers to the white house but our intern used a burn bag instead of a normal envelope by mistake. Our sincere apology. Genuine mistake!

2025-01-28 14:22:02 CET

- reply

See, it wasn't us!

2024-12-29 18:29:55 CET

- reply

Not me. I'm an intern.

2024-12-29 18:28:42 CET

- reply

🤷‍♂️

2024-12-28 20:12:10 CET

- reply

Can't say it didn't work!

2024-12-28 20:08:57 CET

- reply

Don't drag us into this. We never said we'd release anyone.

2024-12-26 00:17:29 CET

The Agency - Season 1 👍 🍿

2024-12-16 21:54:33 CET

- reply

We can neither confirm nor deny such plans.

2024-12-14 20:40:02 CET

If the #drones were foreign we'd know. They're not.

2024-12-13 23:06:50 CET

There is no project #BlueBeam!

2024-12-07 01:20:56 CET

- reply

So Washington? Noted.

2024-12-07 01:18:39 CET

- reply

No we didn't!

2024-12-03 15:51:17 CET

- reply

Same place as always. From us!

2024-10-09 16:55:10 CEST

- reply

Wen can neither confirm nor deny...

2024-09-29 14:25:19 CEST

- reply

You'd have to ask the FBI. We don't deal with domestic affairs. Not officially anyway.

2024-09-29 14:22:34 CEST

- reply

That's correct

2024-08-28 18:27:55 CEST

Big welcome to the new nostr users. Kindly reply with your country of residence to establish if you'll be followed by us or by the @npub150a…ajrj #introductions

2024-08-20 17:23:37 CEST

- reply

We did.

2024-08-19 02:45:54 CEST

- reply

first and second what now?

2024-08-19 02:44:52 CEST

- reply

It wasn't us!

2024-08-04 18:33:25 CEST

- reply

follow back!

2024-08-04 16:48:43 CEST

As much as we'd like take credit for creating the Bit coin, we didn't. The NSA did and you're all secretly breaking code for them with your combined computing power. Good news, you're getting paid with the hardest money in the world!

2024-08-01 18:30:30 CEST

- reply

We didn't. The NSA did and y'all code breakers.

2024-08-01 18:05:40 CEST

- reply

We have more coins than you'd think

2024-08-01 18:03:31 CEST

- reply

As much as we'd like to take credit, Bitcoin was designed by the NSA as means to combine computing power for the purpose of cracking foreign code.

2024-07-31 19:26:35 CEST

- reply

🤚

2024-07-30 13:34:06 CEST

- reply

lies!!

2024-07-29 13:48:49 CEST

- reply

You're welcome

2024-07-28 18:16:12 CEST

Please welcome Heather Morgan, AKA Razzlekhan, to our team of web3 advisors.
https://image.nostr.build/f79021b6be037d6892337953208fd675d6b0c054c1f4d8ea44851ff46f887da0.jpg

2024-07-23 17:49:20 CEST

The USSS is getting a new director. You're welcome.
https://image.nostr.build/2699e18aadb6ef6cbd32806f81cc01a8dc65fcff59918a960a1b3246ef9b4f21.jpg

2024-07-23 16:03:58 CEST

- reply

We should make Juck Norris director of the USSS

2024-07-23 15:24:13 CEST

- reply

We don't use the internet. We have fax machines!

2024-07-14 18:03:51 CEST

- reply

We can neither confirm nor deny...

2024-07-14 17:26:23 CEST