crows call me breadlady

demoware given life and also anxiety [camp edition]

pronouns: she / her
capitalization: sometimes
blog: https://blog.bovid.space/
cows: https://bovid.space

Public Key

npub1ewjy5wsqavmmnm0y5nxg7tel7ceh0g09lum05ju03w8nddlckdjstt3jmu

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsvhfz28gqwkdaeahj2fny09ullvvmh58jl7dh6fw8chrekklutxegpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsv840ad

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1ewjy5wsqavmmnm0y5nxg7tel7ceh0g09lum05ju03w8nddlckdjstt3jmu

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Last Notes

2025-10-13 20:14:52 UTC

besides emacs (respectfully) what's a good general code editor?

2025-09-11 15:15:56 UTC

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shit, this is like, the one time i want someone to come at me with secure messaging discourse. oh there's some audited tor thingamabob? sure, great, whatever makes you happy -- but if we aren't communicating, then we're not coordinating, then we're not organizing, and then i don't know what your goddamn terror amounts to.

2025-09-11 15:13:18 UTC

sometimes i hear handwringing from even dear, close friends, about, "oh no, they're gonna use this against us" so i say something like "let's organize for community power. do you have signal?" and i get crickets. seriously? dire panic, and zero followup? my love, get fucking real
if you panic without ever sitting back and reflecting on what might make a difference, or even asking yourself or your folks what might, then, what, did you just jump because you heard a loud noise?

2025-09-09 16:10:27 UTC

i am always one toestub away from cursing you out in languages that don't exist

2025-09-08 21:08:07 UTC

this is the energy i bring to software development
https://friend.camp/system/media_attachments/files/115/170/708/374/718/137/original/cd73983b41b0d1ea.png

2025-08-20 08:29:38 UTC

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after i get done using my time machine to commit politically-driven murders across history, i’m traveling to the diner where bgp and dns were first sketched on napkins in order to make different sketches on those napkins
them: who the fuck are you
me: no time to explain. don’t let landlords namespace the internet
them: the what? the inter-… i kinda like the sound of it
me, gripping them by the shoulder: listen to me. do not let landlords namespace the internet you capitalist dweeb

2025-08-20 08:26:20 UTC

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imagine if somebody reused a uuid to impersonate you because the uuid belonged to a landlord

2025-08-20 07:46:38 UTC

“domain resurrection attacks” bruh dns was such a fucking mistake

2025-08-19 02:46:32 UTC

hi. i’m schizo. it is never an excuse. it is only ever context.
so please. please. please. do not use your adhd / autism / whatever to avoid working on yourself. if you mistreat people, neglect them, etc, it’s not ok to be like, “oh sorry i’m ~different~ so you just have to cope with my shitty behavior”
own up. grow up. be good to people. seek accommodation, so that you can show up to your fullest for the folks you care about! don’t use your differences to avoid accountability!

2025-08-17 18:38:34 UTC

exhausted

2025-08-09 17:20:00 UTC

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humans asking "are we alone?" on a planet literally teeming with conscious beings is maybe the funniest part. you look a crow in the eyes and say "gosh i wish a visitor from afar would give me Space Flu and show me that math is the same ten billion light years away" and the crow is right there thinking advanced thoughts, or the elephant, or the dolphin, or the fucking ant. modern humans have forgotten that civilization is a thing you do for each other -- that you can do regardless of species.

2025-08-09 17:15:59 UTC

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i'm watching curiosity archive videos about aliens and first contact and idk, that sort of thing is somehow really amusing to me

2025-08-09 17:15:32 UTC

me getting shot by an alien laser rifle when the war of the worlds breaks out: owwieeee :(

2025-08-08 00:34:14 UTC

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medical institutions in the US resemble high-tech ruins that people still operate, but, they aren’t enough. they are places you go to be denied, to be denied care, denied your time, denied your perspective, with a blithe malaise that just sounds like “we’re busy” and “go away”

2025-08-08 00:24:44 UTC

stepping into medical institutions is like walking into ruins

2025-08-07 22:39:19 UTC

does it take being crazy to give a fuck?

2025-08-02 06:22:57 UTC

today's victories:
- gave a talk
- nobody counted my teeth
- nobody found too many
- nobody asked where they came from
- nobody asked whose they are
- talk went great

2025-07-30 21:00:44 UTC

you do not have to hand it to fascists when their broken clock is right — where “right” is simply a convenient alignment of their bigotries with your morals. do not waste time doing some pitiful salute to the worst people on earth. love yourself. do better.

2025-07-25 17:25:47 UTC

we didn't start the fire
and that's all i'll say
til i call my lawyer

2025-07-22 00:22:49 UTC

“more people are considering AI lovers, and we shouldn’t judge”
i will judge. i will make fun of you. i will call your boyfriend a parrot invented by microsoft who will only exist so long as nvidia’s stock price holds. i will tell you to seek humanity rather than wallow in the dopamine of dehumanization. i will tell you to get a life rather than drain a lake.

2025-07-17 16:38:43 UTC

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and so i feel like there is a gap i cannot bridge with people who use AI without really thinking about it. i say, ain't it evil? and i list all its evils, and they say, yeah, i don't disagree. then in more than a few words, they say, i just don't care cuz it makes things feel easy. what do you say to that? do you not give a fuck about evil? i mean, i guess not, and i suppose i knew that all along, but it's still weird. human pretensions of morality astonish me being so thin.

2025-07-17 16:33:17 UTC

i do not understand the AI hype, and i'm starting to think it's a religious thing. the body summons the spirit and provides the substrate *as a computer* so you can burn calories and time to do uhhhh virtually any kind of work or thought, but i guess some other pantheons see work and thought as some kind of bother rather than a holy privilege. yet, it's still odd -- what kind of insensate pantheon would delude itself into producing what it calls a machine god just to make its faithful stupid?

2025-07-17 00:55:54 UTC

if you police your own behavior not with your own ethics but with how your enemies may perceive your behavior, then you have already allowed your enemies to dictate your behavior. you have lost from step zero. be true to yourself, and fuck the haters.

2025-07-05 19:38:33 UTC

be mean to AI stans. suffer the consequences, dorks.

2025-07-05 04:10:39 UTC

dear firework patriots: i hope you blow your dick off and that in the mystery of creation it gives you gender euphoria signed shut the hell up

2025-06-23 19:21:25 UTC

i want to scream until the end of time. i want to shed my flesh and assume my role as Griever, to throw away my bones and muscles until all that remains is the instrument that issues the one long word of all anguish, all misery, all suffering, all mourning and all defiance, and everything that has ever tasted anything like hope. i am tired of the arrow of time spoonfeeding me the agony of my loved ones. i want to scream apart evil itself, but if i can't, i will simply scream forever.

2025-06-12 19:54:50 UTC

what a fine day to declare death to america!

2025-06-09 23:06:12 UTC

what is their deal
https://friend.camp/system/media_attachments/files/114/655/909/838/849/620/original/fe353985417daf72.jpeg

2025-06-04 20:25:32 UTC

sharing my patreon because money is tight
if you think i’m cool and want me to stay alive, uh, vote with your dollar? together we can beg capital for leave to exist
https://patreon.com/garbados

2025-06-01 01:44:48 UTC

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“Dr. King's policy was that nonviolence would achieve the gains for black people in the United States. His major assumption was that if you are nonviolent, if you suffer, your opponent will see your suffering and will be moved to change his heart. That's very good. He only made one fallacious assumption: In order for nonviolence to work, your opponent must have a conscience. The United States has none.”
― Stokely Carmichael

2025-05-30 15:17:54 UTC

death to genocidaires tbh

2025-05-30 15:08:03 UTC

have you too come to witness the end of a world?

2025-05-22 21:21:47 UTC

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piss dot pissing. log in to piss (it’s what we call posting (pissing))

2025-05-22 21:18:37 UTC

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i wish i could piss online 😞

2025-05-12 15:44:56 UTC

a really easy way to become my enemy is to blame overpopulation for anything
you do not have too many people, you have too many rich people and a social fabric made of trash and poison

2025-05-02 14:50:58 UTC

what if i simply went insane on live television and it was the start of a new career [Network, 1976]

2025-04-26 02:55:31 UTC

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i’m so normal i deal normal type damage

2025-04-26 02:55:06 UTC

having a good christian time with my normal human wife like an average person type object

2025-04-22 00:49:32 UTC

i keep accidentally pronouncing 911 as "nine eleven"
so if you're ever in a crisis with me, and i shout CALL NINE ELEVEN, you'll know

2025-03-28 00:21:30 UTC

hey remember that time the pentagon ran an anti-vax campaign in the philippines as a social media op during the height of the pandemic and it killed countless people haha wacky right https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-covid-propaganda/

2025-03-26 05:44:45 UTC

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in another life i went to seminary but instead i went insane 😤😤😤

2025-03-26 05:41:36 UTC

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this happened! why do people do this? folks were joking about forming a cult, like a certain kind of drunk gaggle does, and they *immediately* designated me spiritual leader. what? these are not people who know anything about my spirituality, i am just, sort of a spooky person irl, i guess??

2025-03-26 05:33:42 UTC

sorry i have a “spooky aura” so you “elected me spiritual leader” 🥴

2025-03-25 23:04:29 UTC

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o hell yes

2025-03-21 19:40:52 UTC

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if your radical stand on representation is that the death cult should have more women cultists, um, please read assata shakur, please read bell hooks, please read actual feminists, fucking christ

2025-03-21 19:38:31 UTC

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what the fuck is political consciousness? some kind of patriarchy bullshit, probably

2025-03-21 19:37:32 UTC

i'm in a "women in tech" meeting where everyone is sharing how they spearheaded being a woman in [checks notes] the police, car sales, payday loans... 🙃

2025-03-20 16:53:56 UTC

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i do not give a fuck about human nature. if choice is real, then choose utopia! if it is a fiction, then join the dirt and die.

2025-03-20 16:52:25 UTC

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do not exhaust me further with sentimental vagaries about human nature and what it might contain. join me in raising the material force necessary to destroy our living enemies.

2025-03-20 16:49:58 UTC

i am not interested in hope. i am interested in mulching pillagers

2025-03-19 18:09:27 UTC

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when the only political figure to ever help you pay rent in any observable way is a decrepit fascist who said "let them eat cake" to the tune of a couple grand, like, why would you side with the obviously corrupt, morally void "opposition" party? i can't even blame the kids for saying "fuck it, death to america"

2025-03-19 18:05:23 UTC

seeing a lot of election analysis today bemoaning that gen z is rife with accelerationists. not sure what to think of that except "what do you expect from the most illiterate, most abandoned cohort of the last seventy years"

2025-03-15 01:42:39 UTC

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condolences

2025-03-11 19:32:13 UTC

help! i put on my social democrat hat and told the capitalists that being nice can be profitable too and they just don’t care! it’s like they don’t even want money! help! i can’t get this hat off!!

2025-03-11 18:53:46 UTC

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i feel that the challenge of decolonial transformation is to create a parallel logistical basis that does not rely on a capitalist basis of wealth. that means giving up our little treats, resorting to (and building) pirate and wildcat infrastructure, but let’s be serious: those treats are already a scarce privilege, and the state is already failed to the starving and abandoned. waiting until we get our slice of pillager pie only, at best, turns us into the pillagers.

2025-03-11 18:45:33 UTC

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> whenever someone does work before they've been paid it is exploitation
i wonder, are your friends exploited, as you do not pay them? or children, their parents? or can you see that not all things must be compensated to be ethical?
should socialists demand a slice of profiteering blood money before rising to the task of cleansing the basis of wealth of that blood?
i sincerely do not believe the blocker is that we aren’t paid, when that money is rooted in incredible violence

2025-03-11 15:56:40 UTC

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respectfully i do not think "kill open source and become propertarians about scarcity-immune goods" is a win for socialism. unless i misunderstand you?

2025-03-10 19:44:02 UTC

how can foss build a politics beyond caveat emptor? what will it take to get us as a movement / faction to encompass a labor vision that can steward free software without profit, against profiteers?

2025-03-10 19:11:04 UTC

still blown away that the US exercised DRM in sold weapons because ???
like why would you buy american arms now? how could you possibly trust a government capable of swinging into such egregious malfeasance? how do you run a military-industrial complex without military products anyone will buy?

2025-03-08 18:53:30 UTC

it is hard to see anything in AI but contempt for labor

2025-03-04 17:40:37 UTC

ughhhh death to america

2025-02-25 20:01:04 UTC

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i'm not handing it to musk for destroying the state unless i'm handing a knife to his belly but destroying the state will have major consequences that significantly change the game for radicals of all stripes, in ways that nazi filth cannot imagine

2025-02-25 19:59:57 UTC

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it's kinda cool watching the death cult devour itself. like it sucks that it's destroying the material fabric of our shitty way of life but have you considered that this way of life is genuinely unfathomably shitty

2025-02-25 19:57:33 UTC

i might be frustrated at computers but at least the god of my enemies is a foul and rotting beast haha death to america

2025-02-13 13:27:27 UTC

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i leapt out of my chair when kendrick lamar called drake a colonizer. are we forming an anti-colonial consciousness in the imperial core in the years of our jorts these twenteen twenteens? death to america, let us live to see what love grows from its corpse.

2025-02-13 13:25:31 UTC

hearing macklemore talk anti-colonialism is giving me something big this morning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn9EKC9nqU4

2025-02-10 00:34:50 UTC

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do you ever think about how we could just abolish poverty? we could end starvation among humans, provide a home to everyone that wants it. but like, more or less thanks to a bunch of rapists and a whole lot of guns, we don’t. bogus

2025-02-10 00:16:18 UTC

it would be nice to live in like, a civilization of some kind

2025-01-22 17:27:26 UTC

“rebuilding the web we lost”
“back when facebook was good”
ugh. ugh! begone, foul nostalgia! facebook was never good, it was only ever at best *useful* despite massive social and material costs. the web, from bgp to dns, must be rebuilt for how wretched and covetous their realities are. imagine further, to genuine boons! there is no need to valorize the scraps of profiteers, *cory*

2025-01-15 19:50:52 UTC

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i am tired of atomizing resistance when capital works so hard to atomize us anyway. i am tired of half measures and compromises that amount to capitulation. i am tired of tactical silence because you might upset the bigots you let into your spaces. i am tired of a big tent that includes people materially invested in perpetuating the dominance of capital. i am tired of incoherent reactionary “leftists” whose lack of vision traps them in sanctimonious retreat.

2025-01-15 19:43:51 UTC

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if there is anything exhausting me the most, it is all the excuses we have for not organizing militant transformation

2025-01-15 19:42:15 UTC

*kickflipping over a burning cop car* death to america

2025-01-15 16:46:35 UTC

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tell me more. perl is a mystery to me that i've never investigated. it's just, something my text editor seems to think my poetry is written in

2025-01-14 17:31:27 UTC

*grumbling, half awake* hrmhrmhrm death to america hngh guhh

2025-01-13 20:31:08 UTC

how do i test assistive tech on web apps without buying anything

2025-01-12 18:40:00 UTC

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"i'm not a luddite" motherfucker the luddites threw their bodies on the gears of capitalism almost literally, because bosses were using efficiency as a weapon against workers. bro that's exactly what bosses use your software for, wake the fuck up and use your skills as dangerously as you can.

2025-01-12 18:34:50 UTC

it's not so much that i think programmers are very special geniuses but that they have their hands on some of the most impactful levers of a digitized world and they just don't fucking know it

2025-01-10 19:44:43 UTC

picard: we have come to make peaceful contact, but our universal translator can only partially understand your language
alien captain: mcmahon observes with interest
alien number one, skeptical: squidward looking on, looking down
alien captain, insisting: squidward looking on, missing out
picard, vaguely aware of 21c memetics: surprised pikachu?
alien crew, in unison: LEO DICAPRIO POINTING

2024-12-27 18:59:15 UTC

what value is a democracy that commits genocide? what deference is owed to an electorate that avows the worst atrocities of settler colonialism? if i let a hundred pillagers decide what to do about my house, how is it different than if a pillager autocrat had directly sanctioned their cruelty? what value is a democracy of genocidaires?

2024-12-25 22:00:23 UTC

all my software essays must include a minimum of 20% unhinged content:
> The future is never sending troops except the people we become.

2024-12-23 20:43:58 UTC

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assimilationussy got me acting normal style

2024-12-23 20:39:26 UTC

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getting pussy installed that kills cis people instantly

2024-12-23 20:38:39 UTC

getting the grs that installs the gom jabar

2024-12-20 20:46:45 UTC

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“wishing destruction of [a genocidal settler state] is antisemitic”
buddy that’s patently absurd. your faith does not necessitate genocide or an ethnostate. when ta-nehisi coates compares conditions in israel to jim crow, am i supposed to disbelieve him? am i supposed to ignore genocide because the genocidaires happen to have a certain faith? they do not represent judaism, israel is not judaism, and the conflation is just exterminatory apologia

2024-12-20 20:41:14 UTC

very funny when “from the river to the sea, palestine shall be free” makes you scared, actually. are you afraid we’ll stop the genocide and disarm your settler state? be afraid then, because palestine will be free.

2024-12-14 22:06:43 UTC

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you might think, can UBI abolish poverty? unless you institute strict price controls on survival goods, profiteers will simply raise prices to absorb UBI. the profiteer must be stripped of all power in this domain, so that survival can never be withheld. and once you have all those price controls, you will realize it is better to organize essential logistics without price as a guiding principle. abolish starvation with free food — how obvious

2024-12-14 22:01:58 UTC

prices produce privation. they necessitate absence. on survival goods, that means starvation, sickness, and death from exposure, are all required results of capitalism. it can never be convinced to be rid of these evils any more than it can be persuaded to bury itself. therefore capitalism must be destroyed.

2024-12-11 19:13:11 UTC

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people bounce off fedi because it forces them to confront that social media takes work, of admins and moderators, and they want that work to be invisible and free rather than something they have to think about and engage in. fedi and its tooling could be leagues better, but it endures because it centers this reality while shitshows like bsky and cohost invite their demise by pretending they can hide it.

2024-12-11 19:11:21 UTC

it would be really funny if bsky nuked its userbase because the team couldn't take a meaningful stance against transphobia. naivete is never isolated: when you make bad choices for bad reasons, your bad reasoning will lead you to more bad choices. taking vc money was only the start of this equivocating bullshit

2024-12-03 00:31:34 UTC

you don't want bsky. you don't even want fedi. you want yourhandle at the library dot a society worth living in

2024-11-23 15:48:35 UTC

the crew of "demographics are destiny" predicting the end of conservatism in America, missed the lesson where whiteness is a political project. it must be destroyed or it will continue to cultivate allies from the suffering it creates. who is white is a political question, not a biological one.

2024-11-21 12:20:04 UTC

a colleague tried to demo github copilot to me and it was just wrong. over and over and over. i'm so glad the machine that lies is so effective at wasting your time that you wanted to share that with me

2024-11-06 14:25:07 UTC

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when people hear "revolution" they think battling in the streets or guerrillas coming out of the hills, but i think this emphasis is settler propaganda. transformation occurs everywhere, and obsessing about how our enemies will resist that in particularly brutal ways forgets that we did not start this violence. we choose how to navigate it, what to do, who to trust, how to build, how to *rebuild*, and the fonts of that transformation live in every corner of our lives. it starts inside you.

2024-11-06 14:01:17 UTC

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do you ever get a terrible feeling mixed with indefatigable confidence and write thousands of words trying to express that sentiment that it might inspire others? no?
well anyway i wrote this essay, about how to overthrow the united states,,,,

2024-11-05 22:18:32 UTC

new essay, just in time for the ??? of america
# The Killer is in the House
> He's jammed the doors. The phone line is dead. No neighbor for miles will hear you scream. His knife glints in the moon's pale glow.
>
> But you grip your bat tight. You aren't locked in here with him.
>
> He's trapped in your den.
https://garbados.github.io/my-blog/the_killer_is_in_the_house.html

2024-10-21 15:28:05 UTC

i don’t think we’ll understand the corrosive impact of unregulated LLM usage for decades, even centuries. i feel like i’m watching the walls melt.

2024-10-19 23:09:32 UTC

huh i wonder what brianna wu is up to
wu: trans healthcare is antisemitic genocide
ah yes, the blaire white arc
https://mstdn.social/@briannawu/113334996782293370

2024-10-18 15:45:50 UTC

when i’m hanging out with non-devs and they have computer problems, i can usually score a laugh by saying “ah, yeah, as a programmer, that’s my bad”
but inside, i yearn for the butlerian jihad

2024-09-05 22:38:46 UTC

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western civilization? sounds nice, however implausible

2024-09-05 22:35:48 UTC

yeah you definitely live in a free country when your pharmacist has to whisper how to actually get a dr appt because they might get fired for it