<unnamed>

Public Key

npub19ezuyn008cfdzl42pz9sr6ckl03x2cat3srmkwgy8qcvzlugvpuq47mhnn

Profile Code

nprofile1qqszu3wzfhhnuyk3064q3zcpavt0hcn9vw4ccpam8yzrsvxp07yxq7qprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmnt24a7kf

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

Last Notes

2026-08-24 15:17:39 CEST

🎼 Morning has broken
So has my spaniel
#DogsOfFedi #dogstodon #dog #dogs #DogLife #DogDad #doglovers #doggo #dogsoffediverse
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/117/150/673/293/438/409/original/e41cc784f3ba7447.jpg

2026-08-15 23:41:14 CEST

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Primal scream
The album with country girl

2026-08-10 00:19:32 CEST

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Unless they're flying towards you...
Don't inhale

2026-08-09 19:01:40 CEST

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2026-08-09 18:49:27 CEST

#politics #ukPol #satire #Farage #Clacton #elections #UK #England #comedy #MortalKombat
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/117/066/568/514/069/851/original/4c8568c84823b57b.jpg

2026-08-02 19:28:11 CEST

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This ones on me
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/117/027/088/552/676/548/original/899bc93bdf9270f2.jpg

2026-08-01 20:11:14 CEST

https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/117/021/595/242/858/323/original/e1755c0d149514a6.jpg

2026-07-31 20:35:01 CEST

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Negative points because it's not even hipster
Uncle Billy Bob's six thumbs Yeeeeeehaw cannibal sauce. You have to visit the swamp. No passwords. Words are too woke. Take some shrimp and a living relative you're not keen on that nobody will miss.
You'll know you're in the right place when there's no living crocodiles but a trail of crocodile bones leading to the shack.
Wear a nose peg.
Take a bucket in case the peg falls off.
When you leave walk backwards never blinking.

2026-07-30 19:35:48 CEST

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Clapping terroristicly
Gets me clapping appreciatively

2026-07-26 17:07:35 CEST

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FAAS
Fetch As A Service
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/986/901/160/518/540/original/f24f93bcebea0389.mp4

2026-07-26 16:56:12 CEST

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Family discount on request
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/986/855/050/218/044/original/60e6b6f61e401977.mp4

2026-07-26 16:45:33 CEST

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I can also do ECAAS
Ear Cleaning As A Service
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/986/811/076/698/151/original/e3d36d54d5108e90.mp4

2026-07-26 16:18:45 CEST

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Rock star hair
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/986/706/649/828/522/original/8caead87b9c49a65.mp4

2026-07-26 16:01:08 CEST

I like the fans.
But they tickle, sometimes.
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/986/634/841/140/746/original/6d632beebef0dd19.mp4

2026-07-23 16:29:25 CEST

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2026-07-23 16:29:16 CEST

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Source of bullshit
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/969/763/218/347/613/original/61cce9a5bf230a2c.jpg

2026-07-23 14:55:42 CEST

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Get arrested
Unless you're a politician

2026-07-22 22:01:48 CEST

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I'll happily record it but I'd need to hear what it should sound like first

2026-07-22 21:59:31 CEST

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Both mate
We're secretly a close match in DNA and thought patterns

2026-07-22 21:56:10 CEST

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That's only part of it
Sick flying skills
Sucking a flower through a long proboscis
Making honey
Stinging things only to die dramatically
Wait...

2026-07-22 21:52:53 CEST

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I will do
Badly
Thanks for failing to specify which type of behaviour you wanted

2026-07-15 23:04:47 CEST

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Explain the goalies hands then
And all the heads
And the knees
Chests
Throw ins
It's a trades descriptions nightmare!

2026-07-12 20:16:01 CEST

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My good friend Musk will download my brain into one of his robots before then

2026-07-08 19:38:52 CEST

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Oh I'm joining

2026-06-27 09:41:47 CEST

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwykl89we98o
Fannies in the LOL gear reminding us of that #religion and sectarianism in particular are stuck in the past with no relevance to today's world.
Sadly my wife wouldn't let me urinate out of the upstairs window on them
"The person we are hiring the place from might get repercussions"

2026-06-26 09:02:09 CEST

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#FreezerPants

2026-06-21 23:20:02 CEST

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2026-06-21 23:19:50 CEST

Apparently this was in the Boston globe
As per usual. Showing how it can be done and gaining respect everywhere they go.
As they said in #Germany during the last Euros
"No Scotland. No party!"
#Scotland #football #WorldCup #TartanArmy #soccer #NoScotlandNoParty
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/790/171/070/147/815/original/2efbaa5877d13cae.jpg

2026-06-16 00:51:43 CEST

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"Hey shatGPT... Make me a banner of some president saying some deep philosophical shit"
I bet you $50

2026-06-14 18:08:03 CEST

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@npub12dn…0hjt @npub129x…7u5e

2026-06-14 18:07:45 CEST

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Office space
Eat your heart out
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/749/315/751/951/300/original/4e33fbd926c02029.jpg

2026-06-14 15:22:10 CEST

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2026-06-14 15:15:36 CEST

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I'll get the @npub12dn…0hjt to explain this one
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/748/643/006/319/809/original/791bca0e5ee6afc2.jpg

2026-06-14 15:13:54 CEST

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you ARE the table

2026-06-14 13:28:38 CEST

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All the animals have eaten all the humans and they're looking at you like you're tasty

2026-06-07 22:03:04 CEST

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2026-06-07 22:02:54 CEST

A little time lapse of my afternoon spent with the #Edinburgh #Castells Colla
Alt text to follow
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/710/604/249/825/272/original/bc5f99c5edf05e51.mp4

2026-06-05 16:30:03 CEST

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2026-06-05 16:29:55 CEST

🎼 The only card I need
Is the eight of spades
The eight of spades uh...
Alt text will be fun... Trying the AI might drain the power from the sun
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/697/973/296/153/475/original/903e92d4312f116b.png

2026-06-03 16:18:21 CEST

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Upshittification?

2026-05-27 12:58:07 CEST

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SNP freedom of information trawl a few years back turned up a memo from past prime minister
"Give the Scots devolution to distract from independence. We cannot afford them to be independent"
For me that should have been on every billboard in 2014

2026-05-26 13:27:49 CEST

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2026-05-26 13:27:38 CEST

Haven't posted #dog #photography recently so here you go as he's looking super cute
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/640/631/722/774/051/original/dad471330a23da1c.jpg

2026-05-12 13:46:07 CEST

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Yes

2026-05-12 13:40:16 CEST

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@npub12dn…0hjt

2026-05-12 13:40:06 CEST

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Isn't that one of these?
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/561/411/456/807/569/original/df29974f6eb3bc8d.png

2026-05-12 13:29:16 CEST

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2026-05-12 13:25:51 CEST

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2026-05-12 10:58:51 CEST

Ready to roll at police Scotland HQ for #AndysManClub
#ItsOkToTalk
#JoinTheConversation
#ThatOneMan
#AnyManClub
#mentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/116/560/771/808/248/663/original/b4aae61a6773950f.jpg

2026-05-07 22:44:58 CEST

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Hey
It HAS documentation
Though sometimes it's faster and better to just guess and explore all the options and menus

2026-04-30 00:30:03 CEST

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it wanted a boat ride
Don't criticise the dream

2026-04-18 18:53:15 CEST

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Pigeon flying and strutting about the cafe area
Which has deep frier
Pigeon
Mate...
This is Glasgow
You know that right?

2026-04-18 18:37:11 CEST

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Ah yes.
Water heaters
Well played...
Capsule to the best ice age
The ice rink is supposed to be NEXT DOOR

2026-04-18 17:54:53 CEST

Ah
Time Capsule
It has been some... time
Hopefully all the broken things are fixed
And it's no longer so much of the time crapsule
#Glasgow #swimming

2026-04-12 23:43:05 CEST

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This is politics though
Never seen best intentions go smoothly
Recommend watching Servant of the People with Zelenskyy. He tells it like it is in that comedy parody of real life. Then it became his real life and still there is work to be done to fix deep rooted issues. War has seen him lead longer than perhaps he might (and imho lead well) but he still has to shift people around and boot out someone who hasn't been on the level.

2026-04-12 23:36:29 CEST

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look at how difficult the Tories made it to turn things around after their 14 years. Labour didn't stand a chance at being popular with a floor covered in shit and only a toothpick to clean up with
My pessimism senses are tingling that they'll be replaced by something like reform LTD just as is bound to happen here

2026-03-29 23:08:57 CEST

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Presumably to turn them on you'll have to resort to foreplay

2026-03-24 22:35:45 CET

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next time can he shit out his brain?

2026-03-24 22:29:55 CET

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I want to see real video footage of shit running out their trouser legs

2026-03-23 12:39:57 CET

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Polonium tea says you're right there

2026-03-23 12:35:17 CET

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Yeah but
Come on
Vlad's a mate

2026-02-28 14:42:08 CET

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Nobody there
They upped sticks and fled weeks if not months ago
That was the tell

2026-02-22 20:04:33 CET

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Scotty: "Computer, write me a prompt for this other computer...."

2026-02-22 12:29:39 CET

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Isn't that rather the point though?
The average person isn't expected* to understand
Simply hand over cash for "Artificial Intelligence" thing you can ask how to cook things and to make porn with your favourite stranger things characters
Don't question the billionaires. They would be rich if they weren't smart. Right?
*in fact, quite the opposite to keep them dumb and take their money

2026-02-11 22:52:20 CET

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See also
Saccharin uncle

2026-02-10 23:46:07 CET

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a bus is going to take a lot of foundation. Inside and out?
Was she on the outside and running or on the roof with some sort of roller perhaps and suction cups on feet?
Maybe using an octopus friend to so the sides...

2026-02-09 14:08:25 CET

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Richard Osman has too many side jobs

2026-02-02 14:16:54 CET

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When I'm not externally employed I'm internally employed
Job hunting is a job
Why else would I have this harpoon?

2026-02-02 12:42:48 CET

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I read it as hulk filler jujitsu
I don't want to think of the kink sport

2026-01-28 12:45:26 CET

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that's me!

2026-01-25 11:32:04 CET

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https://mastodon.scot/@spytfyre/115955268320205279
#note1jym…eyxt

2026-01-25 11:29:39 CET

#UsPol #politics #ICE #FuckIce #trump #PedoDon #Epstein #distraction #USA #America #ManInHighCastle #CivilWar
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/115/955/256/254/881/804/original/f6f992ef4443aa37.jpg

2026-01-24 22:33:53 CET

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that non moon could blow him up

2026-01-24 22:31:55 CET

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laser writing on the moon

2026-01-03 18:52:33 CET

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Nah, it's shit
Too predictable
Same baddiea as early seasons
Brought back when they should be dead
Lazy ass writing

2026-01-03 18:31:21 CET

#dog loved the #snow in #Aberdeen
Unfortunately it rather loved him back and wouldn't let go...
#winter #Scotland #pets
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/115/832/330/507/159/083/original/4a3435ce0349d14e.jpg
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/115/832/331/465/474/162/original/f2b06171a1dc5aec.jpg
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/115/832/331/467/546/051/original/b47b346adea92833.jpg
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/115/832/331/468/251/553/original/39fee383ccd7785e.jpg

2025-12-30 00:45:35 CET

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https://mastodon.scot/@Wen/115804766353805774
#note1ct9…glkh

2025-12-17 17:20:40 CET

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that was fun
Share the semis and finals votes please

2025-11-19 11:38:24 CET

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And this is (just one reason) why I am a prepper with water and ship biscuits in my camper van along with the usual tents thermal sleeping bags medical supplies etc etc etc etc 😆

2025-11-18 14:58:49 CET

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I NEED MY MEME HIT OR SOMEONE GETS HURT

2025-10-29 23:58:42 CET

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Constipated mathematician
Worked it out with a pencil

2025-10-20 12:44:22 CEST

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You don't like the downtime?
How about we just erase your data altogether?
*Dr evil pinkie laugh*

2025-09-10 17:59:51 CEST

Mandelson, #UK ambassador to #USA deeply regrets association with Epstein
https://ground.news/article/mandelson-uk-ambassador-to-us-deeply-regrets-association-with-epstein
Deeply? What KIND of deeply are we talking, specifically, Mandy?
Association? You mean "guilty by", right?
#politics #Epstein #satire #UsPol #UkPol

2025-09-01 12:34:56 CEST

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I had a big clear out of the hallway that i share with family so most of the crap was only there because it hasn't been driven to charity shop yet which I will be doing now I read this

2025-08-27 11:35:43 CEST

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I saw the headline they'd work with Farage
This is unsurprising
Time to leave the country

2025-08-20 21:40:12 CEST

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Let's face it
The BoJo clown would have made Mr blobby look component in comparison
She trolled the English media by cancelling a press conference about her book at last minute which I thought was a lovely two finger V to them
The guardian said she was an undeniably talented politician but the nationalism was a problem
Like
Duh...

2025-08-20 12:48:10 CEST

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Bring
It
On

2025-08-19 15:30:16 CEST

I will be officially #unemployed from end of next week
#remote #hybrid #onSite #techSupport (1/2/3 line, I'm not fussy) is my bag
Anybody know if anything please DM me
#getfedihired #boostsWelcome

2025-06-17 23:37:34 CEST

#funny #joke #jokes #meme #Scotland #humour #humor #Scottish
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/114/700/846/514/563/655/original/9790196b877b9537.jpg

2025-06-09 13:49:08 CEST

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Rights?
What we're those again?

2025-06-05 18:54:15 CEST

@npub12dn…0hjt test 2
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/114/631/798/988/752/331/original/4fce70315bf0d612.jpg

2024-11-17 10:57:21 CET

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Two folk 8 know staying.
One says other place full of middle class.
Wait. More or less middle class than mastodon.
I told them they're fash enablers, faces in the crowd at Nuremberg.

2024-11-15 21:57:47 CET

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In capitalist America.
The brain worms are malnourished.

2024-10-25 20:56:21 CEST

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So glad we live in Scotland

2024-10-21 23:32:13 CEST

#Edinburgh based followers and non followers people. All welcome. Any week, pub afterwards for food and chat.
This could be fun for #Halloween
And there's a massive build planned for Sunday 1st December 4pm to 6pm (same place) with more #beer to be had. No experience necessary. (Wear a lumber Jack shirt, if possible, and jeans)
I will wave if you call out my username.
Meet new people, all of which #fun smiles and #laughter
#BoostsAreAppreciated #boosts_welcome
https://media.mastodon.scot/media_attachments/files/113/347/512/425/975/759/original/6aa2b743497b34e2.jpg

2024-09-30 10:52:31 CEST

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too many don't, though. Hence arm chair. It's anger we need I think

2024-09-30 09:32:35 CEST

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Hope is for the arm chair.
The more of it that snaps in people the closer we get to sweet anarchy.
Preppers like me can't wait. We've got all the axes for chopping trees and bone.

2024-09-21 20:14:42 CEST

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it's a good job most folk from my village would think it's a site about masturbating and ignore it as there were no wicker men involved or barking at the moon

2024-09-10 14:30:33 CEST

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if the baby ate a jam sandwich beforehand though...