Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.
Public Key
npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Profile Code
nprofile1qqs8svpr2xav9ekr00de3guf7n3lj7mha7a25el0w0dpe0xkyp062acprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmnt05clge
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Published at
2026-07-30T00:24:33Z Event JSON
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Last Notes npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yeah, I want Spain to win just so you can get some pictures. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: the game is in Dallas at 2pm Texas time. Might head to a local bar to watch, but finding a bar at 2pm on a Tuesday in Gun Barrel City probably won't happen. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: storm passed south of us, but we're alive. There was a stiff breeze, likely from the cloaked skull-harvesters. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Manny channels Doctor Funkenstein. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: apparently I get to choose which animal is gonna bite off my hand. Alligator or shark? npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Doing better now. I think we have a path forward. Details later, but I might be turning into a Florida Man... npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Holy Mothership pilgrimage is a success! It is staggeringly beautiful. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: everybody's fucking in a UFO. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I already fell two weeks ago! I misjudged the weight of a bench that I was nudging outta the way and went right over it. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I slipped on an icy sidewalk indoors in Texas in May! That's some serious negligence! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Oooh I think I can worm an X-Day sponsorship out of a CEO. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: looks like a bullet. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: D!ed? npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: clearly they're corncob vapes. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Slack Radio Patreon fills my heart with adventure! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I tried to leave...alas... npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: can I come there? npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I just won a shouting match against a goose. Geese are insolent bastards. Apes won. Get over it, dinosaur. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: They're trying to break me. But they can never break me, because I'm an idiot. -- me after six beers and a gummy npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: First Spring sighting of Rev Dr Chico The Lizard. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: not a bit. Specialist looked at my tooth, pronounced it root-canal-worthy, and then sent me home because he can't do a root canal for two weeks. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: So it turns out I got an abscess under a crown on my molar. And today the specialist is gonna explore how best to deal with it. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Happy Friday! Here's today's Tool TX news... npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: a fine example of what humans will do when given the means to control evolution. We took a Northern Gray Wolf and evolved it into this wheezing useless lump. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Taking care of the neighbor's fatass dogloaf today. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: HAIL PHOLO AND STING! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Someday I'm going to learn the rules for curling. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Either @npub15dg…fq6c needs to update his subscription list, or he loves me twice as much as the rest of you monkies. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yeah, there's that. It takes a lot of work to make some White Lightnin' that doesn't taste like hand sanitizer. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: a 5-gallon bucket of water with 17 pounds of sugar and a packet of turbo yeast will make your house smell like you're living inside a loaf of bread for a couple of days. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: agreed. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: how else do you keep up with current events? npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: my mom is 83 and still seethes about how much my brother and I loved the three stooges. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: The bar now does line dancing after trivia, so my wife is dressed oddly. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Manny recording a commercial for the Church of the Subgenius. Take 1 of 1. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: that is the Enlightened Fez of the almighty @npub19mc…sth8. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: First place in trivia third week in a row! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: thus-far, weed has killed nobody in my extended family. Booze has claimed three. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Wife made a chocolate layer cake over the weekend. We gave a big slice to one of our neighbors, and he paid me back with a fropstick to enjoy on Big John's Sucky No-Pool Patio with the remainder of the cake. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Ladies... npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yeah npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I was hoping for a longer manhunt. Preferably with eight identical briefcases in a train station. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I mentioned to the marina that I was thinking of having a 420 party since I can't have a pool party. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: HOT DAMN TAMALE! The Right Dishonorable @npub1tx9…7cde has bestowed upon me a holy dot-matrixed relic! Imma enjoy the tactile sensation of peeling the tractor-feeds. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: where's Flawless? npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Am I the only person gaining immense enjoyment from the Louvre jewel theft? npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: it is in the past where it belongs... npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: looks like a half-windsor. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: In SF I got to show my kid a genuine piece of history -- the first violent videogame! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yes. If you have a meaningless crisis, I'm just the person to put up meaningless resistance! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: "You were sneaking into the pool two days before we got the letter clarifying the pool's standing with the city! You didn't have permission!" npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I'm now thinking our pool condemnation might be bogus. Looking it up, the law cited appears to require tax-paying vendors to keep their tax records. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Update. One of my neighbors narc-ed on me on Facebook. But I, being sly and wily, deflected the accusations! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Well, I felt bad for the old ladies who wanted to hang out by the pool but couldn't hop the fence like I can. So I accidentally took an angle-grinder to the gate-chain and replaced one of the links. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I assume the nickname “The Destroying Angel” is because it’s so yummy! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Wife's got a mushroom in one of the porch plants. Either "Bob" wants me to eat it, or "Bob" is seeing if I'm damnfool enough to eat it. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: if he's large and mechanical, Big Ben. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I've heard very good things about Krita. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: the nicely tapered Soviet N1 was a more aesthetically pleasing rocket than the awkward Saturn V. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I like it. A buncha engineers got together and said "let's build a giant gizmo that's never been built before", and they did it. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I was able to move @npub1z9k…z33v 's X-day songlist to YouTube Music. Not sure if it works for non-paid users, but shuffle away if it does! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yeah, my wife is a bigwig in municipal water delivery here in Texas. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: oddly enough, if the US was a forgotten cartoon character, it would be The Jeep. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: One of my wife's clients had a reception in the Denver clock Tower. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: you had me at "EVIL, walking on the moo". How can I send you all my money? npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Texas, and yeah they're natural if you wanna wander around cow pastures after a rainstorm. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yep, I got PD cartoons playing on the inside of my eyelids. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Got only one little shroom in the final harvest. I ain't running the dehydrator to dry one mushroom, so down it goes. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yep, Shelly and I both. It had a hay-bed for relaxing. Couldn't resist taking a "would you care for a roll in the hay?" picture. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: very much so. It's got holy hand-grenades and beer spas and ridiculous steampunk clocks and doors that are way too goddamn short! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: George Wendt was in a forgotten little Roger Corman cheapo comedy about a family of aliens who like to take murder-vacations on Earth. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yep, everything that didn't get dropped is on hold until 2028. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: if you have all your teeth and lack neck-tattoos, you go right to the final round! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: My wife's excited. She just got one of her fashion catalogs, and the "prettiest girl in the whole trailer park" look is back in style! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: pheromones. Girls on the fediverse can't resist. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: On a related note, Nicole and I are back together again. Don't tell my wife. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I don't remember why I wanted a video of you planting tomatoes, but I am glad I watched! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Manny heads south of the border. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: it's like racehorses - the name is usually the two parent strains names mashed up. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: not a 1019 kg asteroid. A 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 kg asteroid. Teensy difference. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time... npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Funk is closely related to God! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: oh I'm not in Florida. I'm in a lonely part of Texas. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: :jrbd: npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: there is no recycling here in Tool. Allegedly if you live on the east side of the lake, there are a couple of squatters who recycle cans from the local dumpsters, so people tend to bag their cans separately and leave them next to the dumpsters. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Send a link when there's something to see. Tomatoes are awesome. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: I think it would TERRIFIC if we carved Trump's face into Mount Rushmore. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: So because the US now has a policy of avoiding vaccines, I need a booster for a vaccine I last had as an infant. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: yeah, they were worried that some dipshit kid would choke on the toy after cramming the entire chocolate egg in his mouth. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: in the US, yes. I think they're not allowed to have the toy inside the candy. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: ooh, and it doesn't have a plastic toy so you can sell it in the US! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Wife and I did a big house-downsize five years ago. The new place is too small for a dedicated #Slack Altar, so instead I distributed a layer of #bulldada on every wall. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: in America, the shelf-stable milk fairy doesn't arrive until the 27th. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Haven't done the calculations yet, but I'm sure there's at least a 99% chance that "2025" is gonna be 1998. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: those coats are imbued with Mercurybowieprince magnificence! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Me: There are Pop Tarts but no Mom Tarts. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: WHAT KNOCKERS! npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: having spent the last week at a hospice, I have decided that my manner of death will involve a hang glider and a couple of hand-grenades. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: oh yeah. It is now a treasured possession. npub10qczx5d6ctnvx77mnz3cna8rl9ah0ma64fn77u76rj7dvgzl54msjug6xm Mr. Big John :vepi: Soanyway, my dad is in hospice at the old folks' home because he's down to his few remaining marbles. My kid arrived yesterday, wearing a new hairstyle of long blonde braids. While she was talking to grandpa, he said in his best approximation of a shout, "VIKING HAT".
