Big Beautiful Bataillean :yandere_knife: :xf_spine:

https://social.xenofem.me/users/risperdoll

bear | quebecoise | Prabhu Jesus's most faithful Vajrayana Chaos Mage | former future school shooter of america

Public Key

npub12jk7lqycxqr3z9dkyuf05v0mjzv2dvulsecy0lkt79cdt2pmahyqdfz4rq

NIP-05 Address

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs9ft00szvrqpc3zkmzwyh6x8aepx9xkw0cvuz8lm9lzux44qa7mjqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds4p47s4

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub12jk7lqycxqr3z9dkyuf05v0mjzv2dvulsecy0lkt79cdt2pmahyqdfz4rq

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Last Notes

2026-06-28 23:46:17 UTC

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in constant pain and terror (have used gentoo on and off for decades)

2026-05-13 21:35:07 UTC

what the fuck is wrong with the UK that they are banning any vaguely stabby object. PENCILS?! ARE THEY AFRAID PEOPLE WILL USE THEM TO LEARN MATH OR SOMETHING? PRISON FUCKING ISLAND

2026-04-02 03:28:11 UTC

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the theologian i reckon

2026-04-02 03:19:08 UTC

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depending on how fused your growth plates are that's not impossible

2026-04-02 03:16:26 UTC

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don't let your dreams be dreams, get some black market T and grow your own! there's like a subreddit or two dedicated to the subject

2026-04-02 03:10:16 UTC

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damn that's awesome. idek if I see myself as a woman or even human anymore because I have a pp and all I seem to exist for is suffering

2026-04-02 03:02:39 UTC

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tbh I prolly would be weirded out. like I kinda see communion as sexual in nature and the mass makes me feel... funny... especially when on my knees and I think I'm just damned to eternal hellfire because of all that. like, God hates horny people and made them that way especially to punish them just because why not. if you could not tell I have America in the turn of millennium flavoured brain damage

2026-04-02 02:56:28 UTC

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damn that's a name for Vishnu? kinda cool tbh love it when you're permitted to get freaky with G-d

2026-04-02 02:53:55 UTC

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cool. just have to remember not to say it at church

2026-04-02 02:45:59 UTC

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well as long as remember the Holy Name of Jesus (or Milarepa or Amitabha or Krishna or) I'm good right? surely a hundred Hail Marys or Nembutsus for every subscriber will do it

2026-04-02 02:42:00 UTC

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probably 100%

2026-04-02 02:39:44 UTC

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gonna be honest. i could probably be a vibecoder but I find that considerably more distasteful than something that involves one of my favourite perversions (exhibitionism)

2026-04-02 02:33:08 UTC

taking up e-whoring or something because jobs that accommodate people with migraines arthritis sensory sensitive and extreme startle reflex are rare to non-existent

2026-04-01 01:29:51 UTC

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also i don't pass unless I wear a skirt or a dress. well. I do pass, but not as well. I also just like covering up from top to bottom because I want to be unperceived

2026-04-01 01:25:54 UTC

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then again I have "stuck in a form again dammit" dysphoria

2026-04-01 01:25:06 UTC

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i have like. 16 yrs experience and I think I whiff it all the time except when I'm wearing a cassock (but putting that on is like trying to go for the divine epicenity of the angels)

2026-04-01 01:21:15 UTC

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Caitlyn Jenner did it first

2026-03-31 04:28:32 UTC

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what a fun coincidence... I'm a thirty percent bodyfat woman

2026-03-31 04:24:59 UTC

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see an issue for me is that I find being fat... amenable... and I doubt I would pass otherwise

2026-03-31 04:22:38 UTC

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I can but it makes me miserable. probably because I am not doing the warrior thing despite probably literally getting joint damage from wanting to go full Kalki on this calamitous kalpa

2026-03-31 04:21:09 UTC

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damn that would be sick. alas antipsychotics given to me by asura psychiatrists killed my twink era before it even began

2026-03-31 04:18:46 UTC

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I don't think I handle chastity/celibacy well enough for that tragically

2026-03-31 04:11:58 UTC

Getting nailed to a cross on Good Friday so I can do that Christian kavadi and aura farm on BMEZINE

2026-03-31 04:06:49 UTC

love learning, want to burn down all schools

2026-03-29 00:46:17 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/6287cf6b-6a92-4c7c-89a7-046edaa6f2da/astrologyjesus.webp

2026-03-26 22:54:26 UTC

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https://astrotalk.com/mantras/kali-mantra start saying that all the time and you'll get to meet Maa sooner rather than later

2026-03-26 22:37:47 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/0211388e-365a-41ff-9fea-93f9c0cca267/kalithisisfinedog.webp

2026-03-26 22:29:54 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/36b66ac0-c04a-4805-8513-34337ed0040f/deepfriedaladdintelavivcurse.webp

2026-03-23 03:24:35 UTC

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it's called the Exorcism of the Gerasene Demoniac. yeah it's kinda weird and probably decontextualised so that nowadays it just comes off as another Jesus aura farming moment

2026-03-23 03:03:40 UTC

can you basically believe in Kashmiri Shaivism but still be Anglican? discuss

2026-03-23 03:01:38 UTC

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think of it this way. when you play a rpg or something is it more fun to have your PCs sit back and eat like. turkey drumsticks or potato chips or cthulhu cheez-its or is it more fun to have them risk their asses trying to fight (or seduce) the big beautiful bad guy (gender neutral)? obviously the insane adventure is more fun! so basically Brahman is playing a massively multiplayer roleplaying game while being the server, the players, the mods, the hackers and the YouTubers simultaneously

2026-03-23 02:25:05 UTC

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well yes they are but like, not in the way people think. in fact I would say many anarchists and revolutionaries etc are more prone to doing actual Shani pooja (coming up with bureaucratic rules and accidentally empowering power by fighting it in the dumbest ways) than your average reactionary (who often has more in common with the bacchae or gnostics than the roman imperial cults etc). To be fair according to Mike Magee (founder of the tech rag the inquirer and thelemic and tantric adept) claimed Uranus was a "higher vibration" of Mercury, i.e., Mercury but more intense, and the age of Aquarius -- ruled by Uranus -- would be dominated by unfeeling, absolute logic, intellectualism and be somewhat antithetical to the Piscean age that proceeded it

2026-03-23 02:09:34 UTC

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i don't care about beating roguelikes I just like exploring and getting as deep as I can and if I manage to beat it cool. just like samsara

2026-03-23 02:06:25 UTC

one of my most held insane beliefs is steve jobs being part of the official uranian street team welcoming in the age of aquarius by creating the beach ball i (eye) mac coloured "bondi blue" (like uranus, ruler of aquarius) to open the internet (if you do not understand the aquarianess of the internet why are you n the fediverse) to the masses

2026-03-23 02:01:06 UTC

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no it's just my overall impression. I just remember in one of them I was a chaos character that prayed too much and got a snazzy elephant nose and a reduction in level

2026-03-23 01:58:02 UTC

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the last time I played them I still had my OEM nads but vaguely. Angband is creamy roguelike butter. Moria is crunchy. I think.

2026-03-23 01:55:32 UTC

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if you like moria more does that make you non-binary

2026-03-22 00:52:03 UTC

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have not taken any, this just happens when i get one

2026-03-22 00:44:20 UTC

why do migraines make me so insanely horny that I get near priapism? which is kinda amazing given my age and how long I have been on mtf hrt but also insanely dysphoria inducing.

2026-03-21 01:14:48 UTC

"eh" is just canadian for "innit"

2026-03-16 17:42:05 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/78a9b039-7d26-4942-bba4-9ee4c66c11a1/thinkmasami.webp

2026-03-14 23:05:35 UTC

fascism is tamasic pessimism. communism is tamasic optimism. capitalism is rajasic pessimism. social democracy is rajasic optimism. nightwalkerism is sattvic pessimism. becoming-schizo is sattvic optimisim

2026-03-11 20:42:08 UTC

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"I used to be able to take the analytic div of nontrivial multidimensional functions like you... but then I took a woman's hand to the boob"

2026-03-11 20:04:06 UTC

my mom when I was nine: "How could you forget what five times five is? *thwack* Don't you know you have to learn calculus and shit if you don't want to be a failure in life? *smack*
me decades later, having learnt shittonnes of math but not exactly being employable and also knowing people who are bereft of such knowledge making more than her: turns out there's more to life than calculus

2026-03-11 00:55:11 UTC

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I do shit like that on the reg. being permadissociated has its advantages

2026-03-11 00:52:06 UTC

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yep one whole ball

2026-03-11 00:02:43 UTC

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diy'd a left hemiorchiectomy in may of '09

2026-03-10 23:58:04 UTC

when the when the focus medication makes you focus on your gender shit so hard it breaks through the protective layer of dissociation and now you are desperately trying not to perform more self surgery even though the self surgery demon is looking pretty good because you are not relieving yourself because of aforementioned unfortunate focus

2026-03-10 20:50:24 UTC

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don't forget the Lemures and the Old Ones and the Aedra and every canon human pantheon and

2026-03-10 20:32:25 UTC

my logic more or less
https://social.xenofem.me/media/dc52f57c-ec3b-4619-ad8a-30ac2d699a4a/clearoutgoetiaforJesus.webp

2026-03-09 02:12:09 UTC

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if he's well behaved and capable of sustaining himself without industrial society we can make an exception

2026-03-02 21:04:38 UTC

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you have one of the most gorgeous voices I've yet heard. fabulous accent

2026-02-10 15:07:01 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/d84afc18-b939-4014-8f5d-3928729f1907/aisettings.jpeg

2026-01-31 02:17:56 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/8110eecc-d6b5-4a9f-84bf-1306a77bb363/goeticcat.jpeg

2026-01-27 15:33:47 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/6d5cd8f9-a4e8-449e-8ba3-8bf2e1191068/hopiumcurve.png

2025-12-07 01:11:40 UTC

okay another go at this shit

2025-11-27 02:15:12 UTC

anyway if you're gonna be a Satanist please do it right. join the Temple of Set at least or something

2025-11-23 02:41:00 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/78391f72-77e9-449d-8169-05dd8e9dd439/deltavfuel.jpg

2025-11-07 14:26:23 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/287231a6-9b95-4946-9ef9-d9a7225d7972/normalizehteray.jpeg

2025-11-06 01:29:49 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/05f34ff5-cf2e-4aed-bea0-5d41f5de8aa2/benderkinkplank.png

2025-10-13 01:53:13 UTC

"The true essence of femininity is not this bullshit tradwife shit or this liberal go-getter business girl tripe. It's not being a submissive, petite thing waiting for daddy's dick to submit. Inside every woman is a black hole waiting to rise out and rent everything around her asunder, a spiritual vagina dentata ripping apart society, men, children, space time... even thought itself. The true measure of a woman is how many people she sends to the grave not births into the world, how many litres of blood she dines on, not how much milk she makes. How many men's headless corpses she delivers to the Goddess within."

2025-10-13 01:18:10 UTC

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you don't know much about xenofemme do you

2025-10-13 01:14:15 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/4f337c8a-6013-435b-b215-833fad554807/slimegirlfgf.webp

2025-10-09 13:15:35 UTC

is this furry a fucking Dominican monk
https://social.xenofem.me/media/b57d12dd-0721-41db-aeeb-74c74bdff6f6/losercity-plea-v0-laoge1u602uf1.webp

2025-10-03 14:30:56 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/872630b2-7b9b-4512-bc41-8aadd3dd3270/buckle-up-lil-bro-v0-qeb8263asvsf1.webp

2025-09-29 02:42:50 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/7b239255-8d22-438d-aa44-b4da37152efd/postsopecies.png

2025-09-19 00:57:33 UTC

any recommendations for a rugged smartphone with a 4" screen? preferably android 12+ and 5G, certified keistering performance a plus too (the prison pocket shouldn't just be for prison anymore)

2025-09-16 00:44:52 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/6eb1eeb7-39e4-4ca5-be68-3da662009b6b/hotppeppeehole.jpg

2025-08-27 19:37:58 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/5cf160eb-f8fe-42e5-9779-17de8f3e47f5/mountiemiku.jpeg

2025-08-27 00:37:25 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/52b1a1a1-6512-4331-914b-7e7306187b80/nowthastrauam.webp

2025-08-19 17:52:11 UTC

we talk about the dangers of porn addiction but what about the dangers of book addiction? discourse addiction? addiction to sucking in esoteric data as a kind of numbing to the possibilities of real life as a being-in-the-world? What's that? It "increases shareholder value" to ensure "the youth are properly conditioned for a world of work where everything is an exercise in pointless symbol shunting?" yeah okay oversocializer

2025-08-11 18:54:39 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/04185713-7cf6-42cf-a698-7432a5ad00ee/wordsofevil.png

2025-08-01 16:20:00 UTC

I keep forgetting people get freaked out about things like school shooters and serial killers for some reason. not a good introductory convo apparently

2025-07-31 01:05:17 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/5daf1cf3-db33-4032-8be8-7c6bd84ce6e9/alternetid.jpg

2025-07-25 12:47:41 UTC

the psychos are advancing in their assaults on us in their neurotype rahowa:
https://scitechdaily.com/groundbreaking-study-identifies-four-biologically-distinct-autism-subtypes/

2025-07-25 00:00:21 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/22bbfd8d-9a7e-4453-8e3a-6e6a320863f4/trumpfeaststyle.jpg

2025-07-24 14:09:40 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/7742758a-441d-4bcf-919a-e13194facc8e/traumafriend.jpeg

2025-07-21 15:57:13 UTC

individualistic prepper fantasy is only enabled by the society whose destruction makes you slaver at the mouth. The high intesity CQB LVPO RAT EMFH YOYO ROFLMAO BBQ TEOTWAWKI scenario you're dreaming of where you shoot at everyone has you dead in a month. Maybe half a year, tops.
Instead you're gonna have to figure out how to get water and heat and FOOD and clothing repairs and stuff to wipe your ass with. And none of that comes in slick packages pushed by glamorous manly-man gay chicken playing youtube gear queers in flannel, bro. You wanna survive, man? Gonna have to learn how to solder and knit and braze and sow and sew and

2025-07-19 14:12:23 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/fe25fbc9-4462-4d04-8bae-ae3b10e855a8/laingunroulette.jpeg

2025-06-14 13:31:53 UTC

engineering's whole shtick is trying to create a limited domain of linear behaviour in a world that is completely and utterly nonlinear, deterministic yet unpredictable. in this they have chosen an eternally futile fight with a foe that is interminably implacable

2025-06-09 22:25:32 UTC

I would love to move to Europe but my only qualifications are being an insane esoteric lore keeper/disable menace to society. is there anyway to get a visa or do I have to wait for Canada to join Schengen?

2025-05-18 11:01:37 UTC

https://social.xenofem.me/media/7d7ebcfe-ac3b-40cf-b3b3-538ce0046c37/Capture%20d%E2%80%99e%CC%81cran%2C%20le%202025-05-18%20a%CC%80%2006.59.36.png