𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"

Lady pianist and poet with blue eyes and red hair. The rest changes without notice.

Chat with me on Signal: https://signal.me/#eu/Ocj0dNdEhqns5xr2zE_wnlgTz-IvuZIxa01oDLo1QtM7uGLWuhxNXJ9mZO4CWWKb

I am the discovered girl.: That's all you ever need to know.
Occupation: Poet. Pianist. Teacher.
Website: http://www.PlayLoveLearn.com
Pronouns: She/her

Public Key

npub14zmasek36zxfcks2pr3xs50lrh2fk9j9ueswsewfhsd0xclxvn6qe97uu3

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs23d7cvmgapryutg9q3cng28l3m4ymzez7vc8gvhymcxhnv0nxfaqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsu8tc4v

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub14zmasek36zxfcks2pr3xs50lrh2fk9j9ueswsewfhsd0xclxvn6qe97uu3

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Last Notes

2026-08-26 09:05:08 UTC

Listen if you are a coder and your name is Lila or Lily or Lilith or Lana or Laura, I'm just going to assume you're trans ok. I am working with a 90% correlation bias here.

2026-08-22 19:42:59 UTC

- reply

And this...
This is the "blackout" flag, and the "blue lives" flag combined. A black and white flag with one white stripe replaced with a blue one.
If we follow the symbolism to its logical end, this means:
- A declaration of war
- A threat of physical violence
- Using police action
- To enforce racism
Here is a police officer standing proudly in front of it, holding the tools he will use to torture and/or murder American children in its name. It's time to call this flag what it explicitly is:
👉 A Nazi flag.
This flag is an explicit threat of violence committed against our children in the name of fascist, racist ideals. The word we use for that is Nazi.
5/
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/140/858/300/300/446/original/6d75592e4d062872.png

2026-08-22 19:39:11 UTC

- reply

This is the "blackout" flag.
Invented by January 6 insurrectionists, it is explicitly a threat of violence. The black motif supposedly is an inversion of the "white flag" peace symbolism. In their own words, it means "no quarter, no mercy". Not only is this explicitly anti-unity, and anti-American, it is explicitly a declaration of war.
4/
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/140/851/875/317/529/original/d2d782248d4fe410.png

2026-08-22 19:36:21 UTC

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This is the "blue lives matter" flag. It does not symbolize any of that.
It was invented by racists specifically to stand in opposition to the "black lives matter" movement. The blue line symbolizes support specifically for police. It explicitly separates some of the stripes from the rest of the stripes, and symbolically upholds that segregation. It is about segregation and non-unity, and upholding systemic racism via police intervention.
3/
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/140/832/418/258/287/original/121031ed91304df7.png

2026-08-22 19:28:59 UTC

- reply

This is the American flag. It carries 13 alternating red and white stripes to symbolize the 13 original colonies which formed the first Union of States. It also carries 50 white stars against a field of blue. The stars (whose exact number has changed through the years as States enter the union), symbolize each State in the United States of America. The blue represents the aspiration of unity and equality. The white symbolizes the aspiration of moral goodness, high ideals, and the clean start in forming a new nation. And the red symbolizes the blood spilt to defend those values.
2/
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/140/811/662/573/566/original/d007d0c4e252b337.png

2026-08-22 19:24:58 UTC

Okay Internet, we need to discuss the specific symbology being used by MAGA because some of you are not yet up to speed on what it means.
This will be a multi-toot series so buckle up.
1/

2026-08-18 19:35:01 UTC

I wish to complain about this Senator what I purchased not a half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Ah yes, the Norwegian Mitch. What's uh... what's wrong with it?
I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead. That's what's wrong with it.

2026-08-15 05:28:56 UTC

I literally can't keep track of how many foods might kill me now.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/097/868/582/524/830/original/a3e2aabbdec6be75.png

2026-08-14 06:48:01 UTC

It's incredible watching this man work because half the shit he accomplishes is shit we've been told over and over is fucking impossible radical communist pipe dreams and the other half is the most obvious mundane bipartisan bullshit that should have been done ages ago and it really makes you wonder what the fuck liberal leaders have even been doing for the last 50 years
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/092/512/767/126/389/original/3bac7c8bf2934439.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/092/512/955/509/451/original/4ac404747c805f67.png

2026-08-09 02:25:12 UTC

- reply

https://factually.co/fact-checks/justice/ice-facilities-13-year-olds-pregnancy-positive-d69962

2026-08-08 17:47:26 UTC

"Underage girls tested positive for pregnancy" is such a weirdly malicious way to say "ICE kidnapped and then raped a bunch of children."
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/061/139/923/582/672/original/eebc9805dc477f9c.png

2026-08-03 19:34:48 UTC

Okay I'm a teacher. So let me explain this to you in as simple a way as I can.
Let's say I want to buy a cake. But not just any cake. A specialty cake for my nieces quinceañera. A cake like that costs at least $100 bucks. But I don't have $100 bucks. What do?
Well, I could save up to buy the cake. But that might take a long time and by then her quinceañera would be long over and gone. I could go take out a loan for the $100 bucks. But I don't want to take out a loan because it might make my credit look bad to have that much debt. So what's the solution?
Well if I'm particularly creative and not overburdened by an abundance of morality, the solution is easy. I make another me. A special me. A me designed for one purpose only - to saddle with debt.
So I create another Lana. A legal fiction. Let's call her Twona. Twona's only purpose in life is to get a bunch of credit cards and then cakes for my niece's quinceañera. Twona gets a MasterCard and a Visa, and puts $50 on each. When the cake arrives, Twona gives me the cake, and keeps the debt. And if the IRS or the banks ever come calling asking pesky questions about how I managed to afford a special quinceañera cake, I can legally and truthfully tell them I do not have any quinceañera credit card debt.
And you may be asking why the credit cards would do this. Why just give Twona those lines of credit, knowing that she was just going to buy a quinceañera cake with it. It's not like they can repossess a giant 5-tiered specially cake with "Congratulations Niece on Your Quinceañera" written on it in bright pink fluffy icing. No one would ever buy that from them. It's worthless as a repossessed asset. And the reason is that I signed an agreement with MasterCard and Visa saying that if they ever had to come collect on the debt, that I would pay them a certain amount of interest on the debt for the next 100 years.
So let's recap.
- I got: the cake, and no record of debt on my financial documents
- Twona got: the debt
- The credit agencies got: promise of residual income for the next century
Congratulations, now you understand how all these enormous data center buildings in rural places are being funded. Just take the quinceañera numbers and multiply them by 10 orders of magnitude. Meta and Amazon and Oracle and the rest of the tech companies are set to invest almost a trillion dollars in AI buildout just this year alone. And none of it is going on their financial documents. Because technically, none of them have taken out any loans. The loans are being held by shell companies created specifically for this purpose, with names like (I am not making these up) Beignet and Sopaipilla. These shell companies own the debt. And in return, Meta gets to build a $27 Billion dollar specialty data center building in the middle of rural Louisiana. And then Beignet rents that building to Meta. Nobody except Meta will ever use that building. It exists for one purpose only. But legally, Meta does not carry the debt on constructing it. Beignet does.
And the big burning question here is why. Why would Meta do this?
The reason is because if Meta had that debt on its own books, $27 billion dollars of debt looks like exactly what it is - the biggest financial gamble in the history of modern finances. Bigger than the housing bubble of the late 2000s. Bigger than the dot-com bubble of the 1990s. Bigger even than the stock market bubble of the roaring 1920s. And we all know how well that one went.
So what's the fallout here? Nobody knows. What I'm saying is that you, the public, are not getting the full story. It's being deliberately hidden from public view. But now that you know it exists, you know what to look out for. This is a bubble. And when it bursts, there will be almost no warning. And some people stand to lose everything.

2026-07-31 18:40:55 UTC

Only 3 more days until someone discovers where Mitch McConnell hid his phylactery and destroys it

2026-07-31 04:54:14 UTC

LWUXANA: Ah hello, computer?
REPLICATOR: [trills] working
LWUXANA: I want a cocktail
REPLICATOR: Please specify
LWUXANA: Oh I don't know just surprise me. Something peppy and fun. Ooh and put some of those little umbrellas in it.
REPLICATOR: Synthesizing...mai tais
DEANNA: Mom why are you talking to yourself again
LWUXANA: [pouring two huge cocktails for herself] unknown command. Synthesizing mai tais.

2026-07-25 18:57:20 UTC

Okay, it looks like it's time once again to discuss the miserable world of Motte and Bailey fallacies.
A Motte and Bailey takes its name from an ancient fortress type with a safe tower (the motte) and a wide yard out in front (the bailey). How it works is you make a bold, controversial claim, such as "women should be hunted for sport because they're stupid and inferior" and when you can't back up claim, you immediately retreat to a broadly accepted, uncontroversial viewpoint like "what, we can't even discuss the pitfalls of the educational system anymore??" and then you pretend like the two are the same. The bailey allows you to say some truly unhinged bullshit and then pretend like disagreement with it equals disagreement with something obviously much more acceptable.
Yesterday, the geriatric pedophile currently running our country said "I am announcing that I am running for a fourth term." A declaration of criminal intent so unhinged and so obviously unconstitutional that it is indefensible. And then, this morning, all his cultists started walking that bailey shit back to a safe motte. "What, you can't even tell jokes at a press dinner anymore?"
Yes, Greg, of course you can tell jokes at the press correspondence dinner. But this clearly wasn't one. You can tell, because when the orange pedo tells a joke it's always horrible, usually racist or sexist, and then he explains the punchline to everyone as if we didn't understand it. In this case, you can especially tell he wasn't joking because he said he wasn't joking. He said, and I quote - "This is a scoop. I'm doing this tonight to save some of your careers." And then he said a whole bunch of unhinged, deranged, blatantly criminal bullshit, waited for applause, and then threw his fucking hat into the audience like Temu Elvis Presley.
That's the bailey.
We agree with the motte. We sure as fuck don't agree with the bailey. And nobody is buying the bullshit you're selling that the motte and the bailey are the same thing.

2026-07-25 14:12:47 UTC

Every single person who attended this dinner can go fuck themselves. This is *your* monster. You built it. You maintain it. You prop it up and whitewash it. Every single day that goes by without the headline "RACIST PEDOPHILE COMMITS MORE CRIMES" is a testament to your journalistic failure as an American institution.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/981/022/810/470/789/original/5745c8389d933e0e.png

2026-07-18 03:47:54 UTC

Oh cool, literally exactly as I predicted 23 days ago.
https://www.businessinsider.com/spacex-stock-drops-new-low-ipo-price-starship-launch-scrubbed-2026-7
I hate to say I told you so. But I literally did tell you so.
https://beige.party/@Lana/116795397010653803
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/938/935/974/542/882/original/e2f186870181fa95.png

2026-07-14 17:55:23 UTC

Getting Lindsay Graham instead of Mitch McConnell is like ordering a Mexican Pizza and getting a Crunchwrap Supreme instead. I'm confused, but not upset.

2026-07-09 16:48:02 UTC

Transphobia is, and always has been, deeply rooted in misogyny.
Want proof? Here's a fact: most targets of so-called "transvestigation" are cisgender women and girls. Women and girls who were assigned female at birth, have lived as women their entire lives, and have never once failed any kind of "sex test".
What they HAVE failed, is some random dipshit's eyeball test. She just didn't "look" female enough. She didn't "seem" feminine enough in her appearance. Her actual, physical, real life body didn't meet the arbitrary standards of his imaginary fantasy of what women "should look like".
That's misogyny.

2026-07-08 00:33:23 UTC

I have seen ICE assault women
I have seen ICE assault LGBTQ folk
I have seen ICE assault black folk
I have seen ICE assault brown folk
I have seen ICE assault immigrants
I have seen ICE assault refugees
I have seen ICE assault indigenous people
I have seen ICE assault protestors
I have seen ICE assault democrats
I have seen ICE assault the handicapped
I have seen ICE assault the elderly
I have seen ICE assault children
I have never once seen ICE assault a white supremacist

2026-07-02 18:00:09 UTC

It's true. Am dead. This is hell.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/851/682/406/696/079/original/f0fa8a5805188ce6.png

2026-06-28 08:10:36 UTC

______________ In My Pants

2026-06-28 07:38:01 UTC

My brothers, sisters, and siblings I have spent far too long on this. I present to you:
The Periodic Table of Rock and Roll
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/826/588/858/957/316/original/e5086321120eceb6.png

2026-06-27 20:20:08 UTC

If they can build massive data centers in every state
And if they can build massive MAGA death camps in every state
Then they can build massive free housing in every state. Keeping us poor and unhoused is a choice.

2026-06-27 00:41:43 UTC

Fun fact: in Greek mythology the arrogant Narcissus, a man of extreme vanity and cruelty, is brought down by a reflecting pool and then dies.

2026-06-24 01:58:41 UTC

TRUMP: Look at this pool. Everyone gather around and look at it. Look at what I'm doing to the pool. Look how long it is. Longer than several buildings are tall. I fixed it. No one could hurt this pool now. Even with a knife. It's so strong. Because I fixed it. Everyone look at how I fixed the pool. Obama never fixed the pool. I did. Look at the pool.
US: The pool seems broken.
TRUMP: Why are you talking about the pool? You guys are deranged.

2026-06-23 18:37:50 UTC

What a terrible day to have eyes. I'm convinced that MAGA people are beyond help, every single one of them are pathetic monsters.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/14/nra-doug-hamlin-cat-killing
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/800/868/643/105/616/original/68df98550a006554.png

2026-06-22 19:25:26 UTC

Okay I'm a teacher so let me explain this to you in as simple a way as I can.
Let's say you're hungry for a sandwich. So you go to the local deli. You walk in the door, and your credit card is immediately charged $1,000. In return, the deli guy hands you a sandwich ticket - good for one sandwich. You don't get a say in this. You are required to buy this sandwich by law. What's more, there were no signs outside the deli, you received no text message, nobody called you. There was absolutely no warning that by simply walking through the door you would be forced to buy this sandwich.
The deli owner gives you a ticket and tells you your sandwich will be out soon. You don't care. You didn't want this sandwich. But you're not allowed to say no. Besides, you already bought the sandwich. So you take a seat at a nearby table and wait for your sandwich to be delivered.
You sit and watch as every person who walks through the deli door that day is automatically made to buy one of the expensive sandwiches, handed a ticket, and told to wait. Hundreds of people. The deli is starting to get crowded. Because of the demand on the sandwich, you watch as the deli owner starts raising the price of the sandwich throughout the day. It goes up to $1,150 per sandwich. Then $1,500, then $1,900. Before long, the price has skyrocketed to well over $2,500 per sandwich. And you still don't even have your sandwich. The deli owner informs you with pride that this is the single most expensive debut of a sandwich ever.
Finally, after several hours, the deli begins to close. You ask for your sandwich and the deli owner informs you that you won't actually receive it until tomorrow. Today was for BUYING the sandwich, he says. Not selling it. The selling part happens tomorrow. Again, you have no choice in this. This is just how it works. It's the law. Oh well, you think, at least once you have this really expensive sandwich, maybe you can recoup some of your $1,000 by selling it at the current price, which is valued now at almost $3,000.
So you go home, hungry, but with a sound financial plan to try to recoup your money. The next day, you're first in line at the deli. You have your ticket in hand. But before the store opens, the deli owner lets in all the employees. You notice some of them are carrying sandwich tickets of their own. Some of them have a lot of tickets. Some of them are hauling in tickets by the wheelbarrow. You try to get in, but you're not allowed yet. Again, it's the law. Inside, you can see the employees of the deli trading in their sandwich tickets for sandwiches. And because there are so many sandwiches going out the door, the price of the sandwich starts dropping again.
After the first hour, the price has dropped to $1,500. Then back to $1,000, and then, to your horror, you see it dip to $750. Then $450. Then $100. Finally, the last employee turns in their ticket and leaves. And the price of the sandwich has settled all the way down to $50.
THEN, the deli owner opens the doors and lets the general public in. You turn in your ticket, which you paid $1,000 for, and receive your sandwich, valued now at $50. Don't feel bad, the deli owner says. You came here for a sandwich. You're getting a sandwich valued well above market value. Why, that sandwich from any other deli would only be worth $20, he says. You should feel good about this! You basically made $30 today!
You look at the gigantic stack of money in the corner, from all those thousands of enforced buys yesterday. There must be trillions of dollars there. Yes, the deli owner says with pride. I am the world's first trillionaire. And I did it all just selling sandwiches. Doesn't that make you feel great? What's wrong? Can't you just be happy for me? I worked hard for this money.
Congratulations, now you understand how Elon's SpaceX IPO made him a trillionaire, and who that money came from. It came from you. On July 1, SpaceX will get two things that no other major IPO in history has ever been granted. First, they will be automatically added to the NASDAQ 100. And because of that, every single person with a retirement account, or student savings account, or mutual fund, will be forced - not asked, not suggested - required by law, to buy SpaceX stock. And you'll do it at SpaceX current July 1 prices. This will skyrocket the value of SpaceX stock through the roof. This isn't theory. This is basic supply and demand. The chair of the NASDAQ 100 said this will happen. Then, the second half of the trade will happen. Two weeks later, every employee of SpaceX who have been up to now paid in SpaceX stock, will be allowed to sell up to a fifth of their shares. They will do that at July 15th prices. This will flood the market with stock. And again, this isn't theory. This will drive the value of SpaceX stock down. Basic supply and demand Economics 101. The more supply there is, the lower the value. Then, and ONLY then will you, the general public, be allowed to liquidate any mutual funds or IRA accounts, that were forced, by law, to buy SpaceX. And you will do that at August 1 prices.
Elon isn't becoming a trillionaire from selling rocket ships. No more than that deli owner got rich from selling sandwiches. Elon is becoming a trillionaire because he rigged the game. He is forcing you, yes you specifically, by law, to purchase shares of a company that he, and every single other person from the CFO on down admit, in writing, in their IPO prospectus, that they are going to immediately devalue as soon as they can. It's a classic pump and dump con. And you're the mark.

2026-06-21 17:39:28 UTC

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it over and over until it breaks through the noise.
Trump's greatest flaw as a president - the one single character trait which should have, on its own, utterly disqualified him from holding the office - is his absolute and total inability to even pretend to give a shit about people other than himself.
Everything else about him - the felonies, the treason, the rape, the Nazism, the pedophilia, the sexism, the racism... All of it stems from this - Trump is incapable of giving a shit about things. So much so, he can't even pretend to for the sake of ending a war he started.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/789/303/295/277/397/original/2df744d6b4f6f347.png

2026-06-20 16:33:14 UTC

9:00 AM. BEGIN WORK.
9:01 TURN ON COMPUTER.
9:03 BLOCK AI FEATURE THAT WAS TURNED ON BY DEFAULT.
9:10 OPEN EMAIL.
9:12 DISABLE AI FEATURE THAT WAS TURNED ON BY DEFAULT.
9:15 LAUNCH TEAM COMMUNICATION SOFTWARE.
9: 19 CLOSE AI FEATURE THAT WAS TURNED ON BY DEFAULT.
9:21 BEGIN TO WRITE A MESSAGE.
9:26 SHUT DOWN AI FEATURE THAT WAS...

2026-06-18 19:01:38 UTC

You guys the dipshit pedo in the White House's disgusting pool is now peeling up big globs of blue paint from all the hydrogen peroxide he just dumped in it.
Also it's still green. 😆😆😆😆
Everything Trump touches turns to shit.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/772/653/886/221/271/original/74bf3a051f0d8024.mp4

2026-06-18 13:20:31 UTC

Dipshit Nazi Pete Hegseth:
- renames it the Department of War
- names himself Secretary of War
- fights one war
- refuses to call it a war
- loses the war
You had ONE job. Which you gave yourself.

2026-06-16 18:11:53 UTC

- reply

Chekov is canonically Russian. Born in Russia on Earth in the 23rd century.
Also Walter Koenig who played Chekov is an American born to Russian parents.
So either way, yes he is Russian.

2026-06-16 18:01:04 UTC

"when did Star Trek get woke??"
In the very first episode of Star Trek: the original series, we see a white Captain reporting to his black Admiral boss, a black woman on the bridge just a couple years after Jim Crow was abolished, wearing a shirt skirt (a symbol of feminist liberation at the time), a Japanese helmsman on the bridge only 20 years after the internment camps, a Russian crewmate on the bridge during the Cold War [edit: actually did not appear until Season 2 but the point stands], and the foundation of the modern concept of queercoding.
In the very first episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, we see a female officer on the bridge in charge of security, a literal ship's counselor stationed at all times on the bridge, a single mom raising her teenage son on her own while juggling a full career in medicine, a blind mechanic whose "disability" is shown to be a strength, and an angry, all-powerful godlike being who is revealed to be simply a petulant child masquerading as a deity.
In the very first episode of Star Trek: Deep Space 9, we see a black man gain a powerful command position, respect the hell out of the customs of a religion he didn't understand, show respect and equal treatment to members of three other alien races he didn't understand, appoint a female guerilla fighter who defeated imperialist fascists to a position of authority within his administration and defer to her judgement in areas of her expertise, accept his friend's gender change, and tell his son he loves him.
Star Trek has always been woke. You just grew up to be a bad person.

2026-06-16 17:01:36 UTC

Democrats will tell you this is green.
Because it is green.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/760/835/428/061/656/original/6e741eda1112e04c.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/760/851/252/991/249/original/6ef7a2e000b627a4.png
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https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/760/856/342/392/388/original/fbfde6ae58ab4ff1.png

2026-06-16 16:27:00 UTC

An accurate map of Washington for our world cup visitors:
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/760/700/284/561/197/original/70851418beb4548f.png

2026-06-16 15:55:04 UTC

- reply

Amazing that Trump is using the "HARRIS" brand to clean up his mess. You couldn't write this if you tried.

2026-06-16 15:41:16 UTC

The dipshit Nazi pedo in the White House is desperately dumping hydrogen peroxide in his disgusting algae-infested pool one gallon at a time BY HAND you guys. 😆😆😆😆
I did the math.
The White House reflecting pool contains 6,750,000 gallons of water.
It takes 100ppm hydrogen peroxide to effectively clean a pool full of algae.
This is store bought 12% hydrogen peroxide, exactly like the kind you get in Walmart or Home Depot. Not the readily available 30% bulk commercial stuff.
In order to effectively treat the problem would require 4,523 gallons of this 12% homeowner grade bullshit.
Harris brand hydrogen peroxide costs about $20/gallon at Home Depot.
These fucking amateurs just spent $100,000 on trying to shock treat an active algae bloom by hand, one gallon at a time.
Also, there's no fucking way they somehow sourced almost 5,000 individual gallons of consumer grade hydrogen peroxide and then hand-poured it into the reflecting pool one gallon at a time for 5 hours straight. I guarantee they underestimated how much they'd need. So this probably won't even fucking work in the end. 😆😆😆
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/760/538/432/569/403/original/2e780b3801dfa8de.png

2026-06-15 02:29:34 UTC

Just a friendly reminder that 50 years of "trickle down" has turned millionaires into billionaires, and billionaires into trillionaires.
Meanwhile the minimum wage stayed stagnant and prices skyrocketed on everything from gas to groceries to homes.
The trickle never came.

2026-06-11 16:06:40 UTC

TIPS TO SAVE ON GAS
- accelerate gently
- coast to slow down
- avoid aggressive driving
- lighten your load
- avoid idling
- use A/C wisely
- replace dirty air filters
- maintain proper tire pressure
- don't go to war just because Israel told you to

2026-06-11 15:24:39 UTC

FUN FACT:
About 10% of sheep are gay.
ANOTHER FUN FACT:
Ewes (female sheep) show sexual interest by standing still.
YET ANOTHER FUN FACT:
There is an entire subgenre of Christmas cards that feature a small cluster of female sheep standing around in some snow.
Happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈🌈🌲🐑🐑
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/732/157/603/522/277/original/b07bcd9ad143a064.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/732/157/981/341/115/original/573c0b5fe9bbd688.jpg
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https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/732/158/494/118/923/original/6dc75c7991f5554f.jpg

2026-06-09 15:36:13 UTC

HRT is older than
- Viagra
- Lasik
- Heart Transplants
STOP calling it experimental.

2026-06-08 02:38:51 UTC

Finally, someone brave enough to say what we're all thinking
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/712/163/482/655/557/original/1ba2a6b311c24909.png

2026-06-06 05:22:27 UTC

In his first 150 days, Mayor Mamdani has:
- closed a $12B deficit
- collected $9M in unpaid fines from Bezos
- recovered $5M in stolen wages for gig workers
- raised minimum wage to $30/hr
- drove violent crime to record lows
- marched for trans rights
I don't ever want to hear an excuse from a single Democrat ever again. Turns out the "radical leftist agenda" is just competent representation.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/701/476/772/175/590/original/85b38e15a9a1ccff.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/701/481/058/506/940/original/98d6a9dcc0d22e05.jpeg

2026-06-03 04:58:12 UTC

Not gonna lie, that is an impressive level of fuckup.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/684/394/898/672/324/original/62cbd1c6ef6eb377.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/684/395/038/159/970/original/123128038ff6f122.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/684/432/339/297/094/original/70c70106d31c148c.jpg

2026-06-02 16:58:41 UTC

In the 1970s, Kodak invented the digital camera but suppressed it because they were afraid it might hurt sales of film cameras. Kodak filed for bankruptcy in 2012. Turns out Americans like convenience actually! Who knew!
In the 2000s, executives at RIM, the creator of BlackBerry pagers and mobile phones, called the iPhone a "flashy consumer toy with poor battery life, high network demands, and no keyboard". Mike Lazaridis resigned in disgrace as CEO of Rim in 2012, following the rapid collapse of BlackBerry. The company no longer makes mobile phones. Turns out Americans like convenience actually! Who knew!
In the 2000s, Blockbuster video refused to acquire Netflix because they were afraid it might hurt sales of VHS tapes. Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy in 2010. Turns out Americans like convenience actually! Who knew!
Anyway in unrelated news, the CEOs of Ford, GM, and Chrysler, have all pulled out of the EV car industry, claiming a "way smaller" market than initially expected. Surely there are no relevant historical examples to learn from that might apply here.

2026-06-02 01:37:33 UTC

- reply

DAEDALUS: [reading task] Construct a prison for this monster. What monster.
ALEX: All the information is in the task.
DAEDALUS: [looks around for the monster] What bloody monster I don't see a stupid monster.
ALEX: ...
DAEDALUS: [opening the door to leave] Can you give me a hint?
ALEX: The monster is in this room. You don't have to go find it.
DAEDALUS: [looking in cupboards] Can't. Even. Find. Stupid. Monster. Bloody. Alex. Bloody. Horne.
[Hard cut to The Monster. The Monster is a very obvious Roomba in the corner labeled "Monster" with googly eyes glued on and a knife duct taped to the side]
DAEDALUS: [pulling paintings off the walls] How the fuck am I supposed to make a prison for a monster if I can't even find the damn monster??
ALEX: We aren't hiding the monster. We- we didn't think finding the monster would be the task.
DAEDALUS: [whispering] Am I the monster?

2026-06-02 01:25:20 UTC

- reply

GREG: Oh but you wouldn't want to fly directly at the sun, would you?
ALEX: Oh no, definitely not. Not directly at it.
GREG: That would be madness.
ALEX: That would be very very close indeed. Arguably too close.
GREG: Why, your little waxen wings would just melt right off.
ALEX: Quite right, Greg.
GREG: Surely nobody would do that.
ALEX: Shall we see how Icarus got on?
GREG: Yes please.

2026-06-01 19:38:02 UTC

- reply

GREG: Now. Odysseus.
ODYSSEUS: Yep.
GREG: Anything you'd like to say in your defense?
ODYSSEUS: [looking sheepish] Nope.
[cut to VT voiceover]
ODYSSEUS: I'm thinking giant horse. Giant wooden horse. Who can resist a giant horse? They'll fall in love. Take the horse inside. Then we just wait till nightfall. Bosh.
[cut back to the studio]
GREG: I've written down something, and I hope you don't take offense to it: "absolute shit."

2026-06-01 19:08:01 UTC

- reply

GREG: Remind me of the rules of the task again please Alex.
ALEX: Well it's was quite simple, Greg. The contestants were to replace as many boards of the ship as they could without creating a new ship.
GREG: Hello, Theseus.
THESEUS: [sweating profusely] Hello Greg.
GREG: Now I'm only going to ask this once and I expect you to give me an honest answer. Did you. create. a new ship?
THESEUS: [looking directly in Greg's eyes] No. I did not create a new ship, Greg.
GREG: Ah. Well there you have it.
ALEX: So we're going to accept Theseus' attempt even though he replaced all the boards?
GREG: Yes, Alex we are. We are going to take Theseus at his solemn word.
PLUTARCH: But that's not fair!
ALEX: That's five points to Theseus as the winner of this task!

2026-06-01 18:54:30 UTC

- reply

GREG: So what you're saying is this task was basically impossible. Nobody could untie the knot?
ALEX: Well you'd think that, but we still haven't seen Alexander's attempt yet.
GREG: This had better be fucking great.

2026-06-01 18:45:21 UTC

- reply

POSEIDON: [opens task] "Duck this swan. Best swan ducking wins." What the hell does that mean, duck this swan?
ALEX: All the information is on the task.
POSEIDON: [looks confused]
[cut to the studio]
ZEUS: You guys... I think I really screwed this one up

2026-06-01 18:39:36 UTC

- reply

ZENO: [reading task] Win this race. Fastest finisher wins.
GREG: How'd he do, Alex?
ALEX: I have some stats. Would you like some stats?
GREG: Yes please.
ALEX: It took Zeno one minute to finish the race. One minute and another minute. And then ten more minutes. And then another 853,957 minutes there were a lot of minutes.
ZENO: So what you're saying is I finished in mere minutes.
ALEX: Ye-es?? We're not actually sure whether you ever finished.
ZENO: What do you mean of course I finished. I'm here aren't I? I must have finished at some point.
ALEX: Yes but in another sense you're still doing the task.
ZENO: I don't understand this show at all.
GREG: You're not the only one.

2026-06-01 18:24:23 UTC

- reply

PANDORA: [walks into a room and opens a box on a table.]
ALEX: [looks concernedly at the camera]
PANDORA: [reading task] Do not open this box. If you open this box, you will fail the task.
ALEX: ...
PANDORA: ...
ALEX: You appear to have already opened the box, Pandora.
PANDORA: [looks directly at camera]
ALEX: ...
PANDORA: Yeah.... what do I do now?
ALEX: All the information is on the task.
PANDORA: [re-reads the task]
ALEX: I've stopped the clock.

2026-06-01 18:19:55 UTC

- reply

SISYPHUS: [opening task] Get this boulder to the top of that hill.
OTHER CONTESTANTS: Wait what?
SISYPHUS: Oh don't tell me I'm the only one who did this
ALEX: Apologies, it appears that due to a clerical error, Sisyphus was the only person to receive this task.
OTHER CONTESTANTS: [dying with laughter]
SISYPHUS: I spent the last 900 years of my life on this task!
GREG: Still seems like a pretty easy task. How hard could it be?
SISYPHUS: Very hard actually! Incredibly hard!
GREG: Yes well at least it's over now.
SISYPHUS: It's not! I'm literally still doing it!
GREG: Ah well in that case I can award no points.
SISYPHUS: AAAAAAAARGHHHHH
GREG: He seems happy, don't you think, Alex?
ALEX: I can imagine him happy, Greg.

2026-06-01 18:06:46 UTC

- reply

GREG: Remind me of the rules for this task?
ALEX: "Paint this nautical scene. You may not use the color blue."
GREG: Ah. And when I look at Homer's painting, what color do I see?
HOMER: That's not blue!
GREG: What do you mean that's not blue?
HOMER: That's wine-dark.
GREG: You call the color of the sea [checks notes] "wine-dark"?
HOMER: [nods]
ALEX: Well it's up to you, Greg. Are we accepting "wine-dark"?
GREG: No obviously not you lunatic! Zero points! And you can thank me for them!
[cut to ROTHKO with his head in his hands]

2026-06-01 17:54:49 UTC

GREG: Okay let's get started. What's the prize task for today, Alex?
ALEX: I'm glad you asked, Greggypoo. The prize task is "Bring something the Taskmaster should love."
AUDIENCE: Oooooo
GREG: Hello, Oedipus. What have you brought in that I should love?
OEDIPUS: It's your mum.
RHOD: What the hell, man.

2026-05-31 17:29:31 UTC

"Sleepy Joe" Biden would like a word. The utter fucking hypocrisy.
Hey just a wild thought maybe we shouldn't be hiring 80 year olds to this particular job.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/670/368/516/132/488/original/25a7220f320e1ba0.png

2026-05-30 21:40:23 UTC

Here's a radical idea:
1) Anyone who pays taxes immediately becomes a US citizen.
2) Anyone who fails to pay taxes for a period of, say, five years immediately loses their citizenship forever.
Deport billionaires.
Import taxpayers.
Everyone wins.

2026-05-25 04:05:03 UTC

It's never a drag queen.
It's never a trans person.
It's never an immigrant.
It's always these evil motherfuckers.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/633/229/223/637/745/original/e56b61612f3b11d3.png

2026-05-24 04:37:57 UTC

Superspeed is the worst superpower and it isn't even close.
If your mind doesn't speed up at the same rate your feet do, you won't have the reaction time to run faster than, just a pretty fast person. You'd be constantly running straight into walls and shit you couldn't see until it's too late.
On the other hand, if your mind DOES speed up at the same rate your feet do, then running across the country takes exactly the same mental time as it would to run across the country normally.
You're either too slow for your feet, or you're too fast for your brain.

2026-05-23 18:13:50 UTC

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Respected Other Gender Identities, I present to you the official Ranking of Classical composers by their Punk Credentials.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/625/237/055/113/623/original/53d0e9c59a623597.png

2026-05-22 16:53:21 UTC

AI is the future! Get on board or get left behind!
- techbros, 2026
NFTs are the future! Get on board or get left behind!
- techbros, 2016
The Metaverse is the future! Get on board or get left behind!
- techbros, 2006
Segways are the future! Get on board or get left behind!
- techbros, 1996
Virtual reality is the future! Get on board or get left behind!
- techbros, 1986
Hey I'm starting to sense a pattern here.

2026-05-17 18:34:54 UTC

Give yourself an affirmation:

2026-05-17 17:22:05 UTC

"Billionaires will leave if you tax them"
Oh no not our beloved billionaires who destroy our climate, ruin our air and water, leech our power grid, steal our data, monitor our every move, profit off our misery, refuse to give anything back but the absolute rock bottom bare minimum, and buy politicians to keep it that way. Whatever shall we do without them?

2026-05-16 03:30:59 UTC

Democracy is on the line. Ignore the court just like they do in the White House or else what the fuck is the point of you.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/582/134/338/358/708/original/6b9b7f24e80777e7.png

2026-05-15 19:07:07 UTC

1 habeus corpus case is a mistake.
10 habeus corpus cases is a big mistake.
100 habeus corpus cases is gross incompetence.
1,000 habeus corpus cases is systematic malpractice.
10,000 habeus corpus cases, in which nearly 90% of them are found by separate, independent, federal judges, to have been illegal, extrajudicial kidnappings is a war crime. It is the definition of genocide and a prosecutable offense under the Geneva convention.
But they're not going to stop at 10,000. They're not stopping at 100,000. They want fucking millions and tens of millions. Their literal, published plan is genocide on an unfathomable scale.
#NuremburgNow
https://universeodon.com/@jaykuo/116580070710395383

2026-05-12 17:14:11 UTC

If Donald Trump was having a heart attack right in front of you, what kind of sandwich would you make?

2026-05-10 21:07:25 UTC

Trump is definitely the expert in giving a small prick to a child.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/552/312/301/471/643/original/e3d6fb62b2c5cc8b.png

2026-05-07 20:13:59 UTC

Ordering at Taco Bell is getting so ridiculous these days.
ME: Hi, I want a crunchwrap supreme and that's all thank you
TB: do you want to use the mobile app to earn rewards
ME: No, I want a crunchwrap supreme and that's all, thank you
TB: do you want me to add extra sour cream?
ME: No, I want a crunchwrap supreme and that's all thank you
TB: do you want me to make it spicy?
ME: No, I want you to make it a crunchwrap supreme thank you
TB: Do you want sour cream or jalapenos on the side?
ME: No, I want a crunchwrap supreme and that's all thank you
TB: Do you want any sauce?
ME: Not unless it's on the crunchwrap supreme thank you
TB: What do you want to drink?
ME: nothing. I want to sit in my car and shamefuck my mouth-hole with nummy nummy crunchwrap supreme, dry, as God intended.
TB: ...
ME: ...
TB: ...
TB: Do you want to round up the total for charity?
ME: what do you think.

2026-05-07 01:53:08 UTC

Let me help you with that headline
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/530/781/400/884/858/original/d3d45138cdb33eeb.png

2026-05-07 00:28:24 UTC

Obama should announce he is running for a 3rd term and make every single MAGA dipshit openly come out against Presidents who try to circumvent the two-term limit in the Constitution.

2026-05-04 03:59:11 UTC

I unironically love this because it's the perfect analogy:
- you can only get 6 wild cards by cheating
- showing everybody your hand is the worst possible strategy
- it actually takes zero skill or strategy to play a wild card and you still managed to fuck it up
- this hand can absolutely be beaten by using Skip cards, reverse cards, +2 cards, and +4 cards
- and "having all the cards" in uno means you're fucking losing anyway
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/514/288/184/680/301/original/aa76a48a7935b608.png

2026-05-01 18:09:23 UTC

If you truly believe that teaching about God in public schools will improve people's morality first you need to explain why that doesn't happen in churches.

2026-05-01 02:27:40 UTC

And there it is, the official cancellation of elections by the Nazi party of America.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/496/950/005/358/123/original/e379027f6aad2c1b.png

2026-04-30 19:12:00 UTC

Hey MAGA if you're losing your farm or your small business and need a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, go ahead and just call me. It won't help, I just like seeing you fuckers cry.

2026-04-30 17:30:56 UTC

I am fundamentally against AI, not because I am technophobic or anti-progress. I am no Luddite. I am quite often a first adopter of new tech. I am against AI because I can recognize a con when I see one. And we are living in the Golden Age of Con Artists.
We are being sold snake oil and told it is a panacea for all that ails us. We are being sold a deed to the Golden Gate Bridge and told it will only cost us the price of a sandwich.
People love being told they're right about things, and hate being told they're wrong. People love things that are inexpensive and hate things that are costly. People love things that are instant gratification and hate having to wait.
Actual subject matter experts are: costly, time consuming, and often tell you when you're dead wrong about something. AI is everything an expert isn't. It's cheap to use, gives results in an instant, and always tells you you're right. That's not an expert. That's a grift.

2026-04-26 20:17:17 UTC

- reply

So why does Donald Trump, at the exact moment of this supposed assassination attempt, when everyone around him is reacting with various expressions of shock, horror, and fear, have an expression of uncontrollable happiness at having duped Melania?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/868/596/074/159/original/8b737da16aae0d98.jpg

2026-04-26 20:10:02 UTC

- reply

This discontinuity between the eye expression and the mouth expression is the Hallmark of Duper's Delight. When you see this expression, the narcissist is exhibiting uncontrollable pleasure at the belief that they have gotten away with the lie.
This expression becomes much more evident and easier to identify if you flip the position of the mouth and the eyes to show the discontinuity between them.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/819/543/844/255/original/ae23fef4a029906e.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/819/800/703/581/original/17ad74fd5d42e274.png

2026-04-26 20:07:51 UTC

- reply

However, the eyes in isolation tell a much different story. When exhibiting Duper's Delight, the narcissist's eyes are often half-lidded, with no Duchene markers (crow's feet) at the corners of the eyes. This suggests an expression of anger, disgust, disappointment, or hate.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/809/461/868/105/original/c33678b631f5e1cd.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/810/317/170/916/original/c7faa013c75bf8a8.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/811/368/425/478/original/2b10fc0306ade209.png

2026-04-26 20:02:56 UTC

- reply

Duper's Delight is often characterized as a smile that "does not reach the eyes".
The lips are held in a close, tight smile that is often lopsided, only lifting on one side of the face. Similar to a smirk. When viewed in isolation, the smile itself can seem like a genuine expression of happiness.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/789/805/155/932/original/f02115362c1d7bf4.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/790/852/518/269/original/135f28094bdb8097.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/791/815/195/720/original/c3b6d26c6ef612ff.png

2026-04-26 19:52:20 UTC

"Duper's delight", or "the cheater's high" is the thrill or dopamine rush a narcissist feels when they successfully deceive someone and get away with it. It is a form of arrogant, uncontrollable joy. Watch for this specific facial expression.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/747/860/688/370/original/38df9fa089904839.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/749/730/400/591/original/d4d625d2b9d16379.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/472/750/875/945/430/original/e09988f8219223bc.jpg

2026-04-23 20:34:38 UTC

🔴 THIS IS THE END OF DEMOCRACY!!
🔵 Whoa whoa what's wrong?
🔴 GERRYMANDERING IS WHAT'S WRONG YOU ABSOLUTE DEMONS YOU'RE LITERALLY DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY!!
🔵 Oh gosh, I didn't realize you felt this way. Okay, well in that case, please sign this law making gerrymandering illegal.
🔴 whaaat no gerrymandering is totally legit you guys stop being such a cuck you're always overreacting like this.
🔵 Oh gosh, I didn't realize you felt this way. Okay, well in that case, we redistricted California to give us 5 more seats. We think that's fair.
🔴 THIS IS THE END OF DEMOCRACY!! GERRYMANDERING IS WRONG YOU DEMONS!! YOU'RE LITERALLY DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY!!
🔵 Oh gosh, I didn't realize you felt this way. Okay well in that case, maybe stop gerrymandering Texas to eliminate blue seats.
🔴 whaaat no gerrymandering is fine dude stop making a crisis out of nothing you're always doing this if you don't like it just vote harder.
🔵 Oh gosh, I didn't realize you felt this way. In that case, we redistricted Virginia and flipped a bunch of red seats into blue ones. If you don't like it, just vote harder, right?
🔴 THIS IS THE END OF DEMOCRACY!! GERRYMANDERING IS WRONG AND EVIL!! YOU'RE LITERALLY DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY!!
🔵 Oh gosh, I didn't realize you felt this way. In that case, please stop the gerrymandering you're currently doing in a number of these other states like Ohio, North Carolina, and Missouri.
🔴 what no gerrymandering is just a part of the game broski don't hate the player amiright you guys are always getting your panties in a knot over nothing.
🔵 Oh gosh, I didn't realize you felt that way. In that case, here are plans we have to redistrict a number of other states like Utah, Washington and Pennsylvania.
🔴 THIS IS THE END OF DEMOCRACY!! THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!! DEMOCRATS ARE LITERALLY DEMONS!! SEE YOU IN COURT MOTHERFUCKERS!!
...and now you're all caught up on the policy debate over redistricting in this nation.

2026-04-22 17:56:52 UTC

Don't worry. Florida will flip blue eventually. ✅
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/449/639/835/415/542/original/13f3cb123dd38ff8.png

2026-04-22 03:13:14 UTC

I'm sorry but the fact that according to reporting by The Atlantic, Kash Patel couldn't log into his work computer and immediately flipped out because he thought he was fired is so fucking funny to me for several reasons. Let me enumerate those reasons.
Reason 1) Kash a Patel is a drunk, walleyed idiot who can't even log into a computer without fucking it up
Reason 2) It means that in Kash Patel's mind he's always one bad hamburger away from being fired
Reason 3) It speaks to the fact that apparently this is how you get fired in Trump's circle - no call, no memo, not even a text. You just suddenly one day can't log in anymore and that's how you find out you lost your cushy government healthcare.
Reason 4) did I mention that Kash Patel is a drunk walleyed idiot

2026-04-22 01:24:03 UTC

The past week of MAGA regret is what happens when an entire nation of people suddenly runs face first into the reality that they have allowed themselves to be in a parasocial relationship with a violent, deranged, narcissistic sociopath who no longer requires their support in order to retain power, and can therefore be discarded like the trash he has always viewed them.
The pundits are going crazy trying to figure out "why now?" What makes his current batshit deranged mania a step too far for his supporters? What's different about the recent sociopathic attacks on the Pope versus his sociopathic attacks on women and children? What's so different about the recent deranged AI photo he posted of himself as Jesus Christ versus the deranged AI photos he posted of the Obamas as monkeys? What's so damn different about the violent debacle in the Strait of Hormuz versus the violent debacle over the ICE murders of Alex Pretti and Renee Good?
Let me answer that for you. What's different is it's happening TO THEM now. Trump's deranged, narcissistic violence is finally, and in measurable ways, HARMING THEM. That isn't a change in Trump. That's not a sign of disease, or onset of dementia. The only thing that's changed is the fact that Donald Trump, violent, deranged narcissistic sociopath that he's always been, no longer requires the support of his base to stay in power. And that makes them disposable.

2026-04-19 17:57:58 UTC

"No one wants to work, our turnover is terrible!"
Ok, do you pay a living wage?
"No"
Do you give annual raises more than 7%, the annual rate of cost of living increase?
"Also no, but-"
Do you give larger raises and bonuses to execs than to your workers?
"Well yes, but-"
Did you force people to stop working from home in order to justify the cost of maintaining real estate you own?
"I mean, we-"
Do you heavily invest in AI so you can justify massive layoffs?
"Like every other co-"
Do you ask your employees to pick up the slack for the people who have left?
"We had t-"
And did you install digital tools to spy on your remaining employees?
"Look we need to ensu-"
Sounds to me like people DO want to work, you've just made it unpatatable for them to work for YOU.

2026-04-18 15:05:46 UTC

Elliot Page has the chance to do the funniest thing
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/426/324/429/551/150/original/9791f1d28c3a45d9.png

2026-04-16 15:56:56 UTC

Boss makes a billion
While making no hires
Maybe that explains
All those warehouse fires
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/415/195/527/047/647/original/47cebbf2ee375a7a.png

2026-04-12 22:48:49 UTC

Tick tock motherfuckers.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/394/162/642/875/684/original/b30fbc5f25737a52.png

2026-04-11 18:19:10 UTC

WAITRESS: Hi, I'm Irene. What'll you have today?
MAN: *Lights the table on fire.*
WAITRESS: What the fuck.
MAN: BRING ME A COFFEE OR ILL BURN THE ENTIRE PLACE TO THE GROUND.
WAITRESS: Okay sir? You need to leave.
MAN: YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
WAITRESS: No. You need to go. Now.
MAN: OPEN THIS PLACE OR I'LL BURN IT. I'LL BURN ALL OF YOU.
WAITRESS: Absolutely not. You're leaving.
MAN: OPEN YOUR DOORS AND BRING ME COFFEE OR I'LL KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
WAITRESS: Not going to happen. Out. Now.
MAN: OPEN UP YOU CRAZY BITCH AND BRING COFFEE PRAISE ALLAH
WAITRESS: No. Here's what's going to happen instead. 1. You're going to promise to stop setting fires. 2. We get control over our coffee. 3. You leave immediately and don't come back. 4. You're going to give back that silverware I saw you steal on the way out. 5. You're going to sit there and wait to talk to the cops.
MAN: DEAL. I MADE THEM OPEN UP. I AM THE BEST NEGOTIATOR.
This is a post about Donald Trump.

2026-04-07 20:57:50 UTC

I need you to understand that the person currently threatening to exterminate an entire nation of people if he doesn't get his way is the same person who repeatedly raped and punched children when he didn't get his way.
There is very little that is beyond this person's Hell No I Won't Do That line. He is morally capable of committing a genocide. He is threatening to commit a genocide. He has the tools to commit a a genocide. I do not understand where this discussion is coming from wondering whether or not he means to commit a genocide.

2026-04-07 17:39:48 UTC

Statistically if we deported Donald Trump and his family instead of immigrants, the crime rate in this country would plummet

2026-04-06 01:59:36 UTC

MAGA: DEI is weakness!! diversity is bad!
SEATTLE: *chuckling* The most diverse neighborhood in America is Federal Way in Seattle.
MAGA: socialism never works!
SEATTLE: *folding our arms* just for that we're going to socialism even harder. we just elected a socialist Mayor.
MAGA: feminism is the downfall of society!
SEATTLE: *wiping our brow* our female socialist mayor just built the world's first floating train system.
MAGA: but you can't just raise minimum wage to $10/hr. All the job creators will leave!
SEATTLE: *nostrils flaring* you're right let's make it double that instead.
MAGA: but all the billionaires will leave!
SEATTLE: *eyes flashing* you don't have to sell us on it. it's $21.30/hr now.
MAGA: you'll collapse! this is the end of civilization! what the fuck are you doing??
SEATTLE: *levitating three feet above the ground* we just voted in a wealth tax targeting billionaires and became the fastest growing economy in the entire country while sheltering trans folks and immigrants what the fuck are you gonna do about it bitches

2026-04-06 01:29:06 UTC

Notice how quickly all that bullshit about "liberating the Iranian people" disappeared and now it's all bomb them into the stone age, poison their air and water, destroy their schools and universities, and steal their oil.

2026-04-05 19:16:40 UTC

The US "Christian" pedophile President just used the most sacred day of the Christian faith to drop the F bomb, threaten other nations with "hell on Earth" and praised Allah. All so he can steal oil and sell it to enrich himself and his pedophile friends.
This is deranged blasphemy.

2026-04-04 19:49:49 UTC

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I swear if Trump dies on Easter I will believe in a just and hilarious God.

2026-04-04 19:45:00 UTC

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Folks is it happening??
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/348/149/260/450/552/original/24502fba20eaa67c.png

2026-04-04 19:31:38 UTC

Nothing to see here just your average, routine sixth annual dementia screening this year
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/348/096/130/042/421/original/c67dcfbf47f627ca.png

2026-04-04 18:47:29 UTC

In two days the crew of the Artemis II will be farther away from Donald Trump than anyone in human history and I love that for them
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/347/923/725/642/662/original/75a959303caad6b1.jpeg