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Public Key

npub1c6z5ztjge4tu2d9re0cq73q368q7cm7fcwjcgs8j38qamxtr5tlssuq3gp

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsvdp2p9eyv6479xj3uhuq0gsgars0vdlyu8fvygregnswan9369lcprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmntlcazvw

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

Last Notes

2026-08-14 23:53:21 CEST

- reply

Why is nobody boosting this

2026-08-14 23:29:35 CEST

- reply

Gotta Pokém'all

2026-08-14 13:49:16 CEST

I need a haircut. Thought I'd look for a place near work. Apparently the closest place is called 'The Honest Barber'. Which frankly raises more questions than it answers.

2026-08-06 16:51:12 CEST

Florence and the Machine lied to us
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/049/097/527/131/162/original/0c5418ae451ad07c.jpg

2026-08-01 07:00:05 CEST

This is incredible. All! Literally everything in creation! Crisps, the FIFA Presidency, garibaldi biscuits, trams, Graham Souness, every piece of gravel, the Padel tournament, the entire back catalogue of the Beastie Boys, every kind of watermelon, pubic lice, my bedsheets, the power of the sun, 700 trillion cubic meters of sand, every dog cat and mouse and also komodo dragon, the concept of peace, every nuclear weapon, the Taj Mahal, all of the moons, the Iberian Peninsula, you, me, every crab, night terrors, every penis ever invented, all of the shoes, every oxygen particle on Earth.... I could go on. It's too much I think in my opinion.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/018/456/462/440/589/original/d7634d23cecfae91.jpg

2026-08-01 03:07:27 CEST

Her name was Lola, she was a shōgun

2026-07-31 21:35:54 CEST

Through a sequence of events I do not care to explain, I hath conjured forth curry for 14 people. It's..... a lotta curry.

2026-07-31 14:02:30 CEST

Do you think anyone has gone actually mad from hold music? Total psychotic break. One moment just sat there listening to some awful jaunty two-tone piece of shit music and the next..... frothing at the mouth rabid.

2026-07-31 09:24:09 CEST

I know technology is the new devil but if I could I would totally Lawnmower Man myself and live inside the Fediverse

2026-07-30 08:24:22 CEST

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Hooray! Glorb Glorb brother, and a thousand blessings to Miwnalokekeka. When are we going to take over this planet?

2026-07-30 08:07:00 CEST

I often marvel that there must be vast universes within others as there are within me. Infinite planets marching through their orbits into entropy. Endless swirling clusters of nebulae. A trillion trillion stars exploding into life and slowly fading again, consuming themselves with unimaginable power. Incomprehensible. Inconceivable. And then sometimes I look at a person and think..... yeah that's not all going on inside. Am I alone? Am I the only person? Maybe I was born different. Maybe I'm not of this world. Maybe I'm the One True Messiah. Anyway, morning world! Let's do this! Whatever the heck day it is (time isn't real). LOVE YOU. X

2026-07-27 08:13:43 CEST

I refuse to start the week on a cross note, buuuut... there is a woman on the bus who's been having an animated telephone conversation with her friend on loudspeaker the whole journey. I don't wish her harm. I don't. But it's sort of fascinating that someone would choose to do that. It's so spectacularly rude and unaware. My brain is telling me that a reasonable response would be to go and sit in the seat right next to her and loudly make dolphin noises into her ear. I realise this is irrational. Let us hope instead one day she finds herself in a situation where her peace is broken by another inconsiderate stranger and she learns a lesson fr-oh no, is this my lesson for a past transgression? This is my comeuppance, isn't it? My petard. Well consider me hoisted. I shall never be rude or inconsiderate again. SORRY UNIVERSE YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT. Anyway have a great day, everybody! X

2026-07-26 09:13:19 CEST

I hate to do posts that seem like sort of humblebrags designed to cynically drive engagement. This isn't that. But.... this bears saying. I was in a situation yesterday - an all day training course - with a lot of people who are trying to make the world better. People at the cutting edge of social justice. As left wing as it gets. There was shouting, fists in the air and people referring to one another as comrade. All walks of life were in representation. But. In one of the exercises - a scenario with role play - there was a clear example of a non-gendered person, and people just could not understand that instead of referring to a female-coded name, they should be referring to them as they/them instead of she/her. I found myself the only person in a group of maybe 30 people who had to openly and vocally say - no, it's they/them. It is not her/she(bar). No one really understood and I had to say 'sorry everyone, but this person isn't gendered' and they all looked at me like I was mental and carried on referring to the person in the female gender. I did it like 4 times. Do people in the wider universe (ie. Not Fedi or my brain) not understand this? I feel like in 2026 this isn't some kind of ineffable concept. Am I weird? I don't feel like I am (well I definitely am, but not in this) and it's not *that* difficult to understand? I was going to start calling the he's she's and the she's he's in the group to drive the point home, but thought that might be a step too far. Hopefully I made my point and they'll (THEY'LL) think about it later. But, dudes. If you can fight the good fight for the people, you can at least understand some people are non-binary?

2026-07-25 22:52:19 CEST

This is apparently a 'tea tin' and I've been told to stop saying that 'grandad is in there'
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/982/588/985/310/345/original/6d99b910cc25adf9.jpg

2026-07-24 18:08:50 CEST

I don't mean to seem horribly repressed, but people that walk about pushing babies in buggies - don't they know we're all thinking the same thing - we all know that they've *whisper* had s e x

2026-07-23 10:55:57 CEST

HIVE MIND!
I am trying to get a piece of custom jewellery made for my daughter. I am looking for a local independent person to set a stone in reclaimed silver for a necklace. The person I found has withdrawn because they're too busy and I can't find anyone else! I'm looking in Bromley, Croydon region. I realise this is a long shot but wondered if you might be able to help. What I DON'T want is someone who's based in London who ALSO covers Bromley or Croydon. What I DON'T want is an established jewellery shop. What I ideally want is a struggling artist, working from home, who would genuinely benefit from a commission and who wouldn't mind me shouting about them.
Thank you very much indeed. 😊❤️

2026-07-23 08:10:24 CEST

Do not read the news, people. No good can come from it. I got lured in by a headline of good news of something I'm interested in, but then sadly immediately got smashed in the face with ridiculously evil people doing ridiculously evil things. It would be comical if only it wasn't. If we must have news of Americans being patriotic, let it please be more of this instead, which I approve of....
https://apnews.com/article/minnesota-tallest-nutcracker-record-874bdb9df6a4e6e576ffd7c6d977176a

2026-07-21 07:09:54 CEST

Wes Streeting to declare defence budget spiralling out of control due to an over-pathologisation of military need. 'I'm not saying the army is a big bunch of lazy layabout scroungers', said Streeting. 'I'm simply saying that too many military people have been written off through allowing them to think they need shoes or rifles or whatever, and that an enquiry is needed to help support them to live their life without any basic equipment or training or accommodation.'
Hooray for Wes Streeting. I would like to do an enquiry on what I think Wes Streeting requires in support. And my assessment will likely find a very large margin of variance to what he think he needs. I will find he needs to live up a tree covered in bullet ants with people throwing old tomatoes at him 24 hours a day until he's sorry, instead of being in government.

2026-07-18 19:38:55 CEST

I HAD A LOVELY DAY!
winwinwinwinwinwinwin
Huzzah! There's too much to unpack, frankly. I did a big walk. I went up a motherfucking cliff. I touched the ocean and got my feet wet. I collected some pebbles (I know I know - I had special dispensation for these ones). I got a bunch of air and sun into my big stupid face and blackened soul. I sat on an old fort on the beach and read my book with my top off like a sexy homeless person. I scared a man in a toilet. I made a deliberate noise near some golfers. I discovered a pub on a station platform. I spoke to some strangers. I spoke to a woman cooking sausages on the beach. I made best friends with a newsagent. I witnessed the sun dipping low across the water that made me feel a way that is impossible to describe in words. I met a child! I met a cat! Seaford is not really as beautiful as they say. It's another seaside town with all of its myriad issues. Pluses and minuses. But I had a lovely time and am very glad I dragged my sorry ass out of the house. I feel vindicated. Sure, it wasn't an epic odyssey. But I'll take it. I like to think in a parallel universe there's a version of me who didn't go out and just stewed at home all day and feels sadly unfulfilled. But because I am autistic up and indeed out of the wazoo, I also hope that version of me finds joy in a different way and ultimately thrives. I love that little guy. Go Ben! I'm now going to do the journey home with my book and a couple of cheeky tins and then I'm going to make myself Hawaiian cheeseburgers and eat a bunch of chips. Huzzah! I love you goodbye. X

2026-07-18 15:06:38 CEST

Whilst it's important to let ones hair down when ones family has gone away and one has a free house, it's not the absolute greatest idea to pour a Guiness World Record amount of wine into ones big stupid face on the first night. However, as though guided by the healing hands of Asclepius himself, one has semi-recovered, forced ones self out of the house, and is now set out on an adventure towards the coast with nothing but hope and a dream, and a backpack filled with snacks and drinks and a book and a spare tshirt because I'm wearing my gym gear because it's comfortable, although also neon pink. DEAL WITH IT! How much adventure can one get upto leaving the house at 2 in the afternoon? Let's find out. X

2026-07-18 13:54:34 CEST

All science is made up. I reckon this is just a monkey who looks a bit different from his mates. But underneath they're all just monkeys. You can't say this ones got orange lips he's a new monkey. A secret orange lip monkey never before discovered. Maybe he's just had whatever monkeys have for cheese puffs. Monkeypuffs. What am I talking about.
New monkey species with orange lips discovered in forests of DR Congo
https://news.sky.com/story/new-monkey-species-with-orange-lips-discovered-in-forests-of-dr-congo-13563944

2026-07-18 11:46:37 CEST

Meta
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/940/337/409/703/889/original/25caf9043ff52bab.mp4

2026-07-17 08:06:02 CEST

GoooooooOOOOOOOD MORNING FEDINAM! I hope you are bloody TERRIFIC this morning. Really top-tier superfantastic. It's Friday (Fri-bloody-yay morelike). Consider the humble toaster. Look at this lil fella, left in the dead of night like a crime outside a charity shop. Imagine what adventures this little guy has seen. Why have I gendered toasters as male? Who knows mate. Does it have any traits one might inherently say are male? Is there such a thing? Being a dick probably is what you're going to reply. Putting bread in and it comes out brown? That's just human though isn't it. Anyway sorry GOOD MORNING. Have a day, everybody. X
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/933/806/840/124/877/original/2fd61314dab84eeb.jpg

2026-07-16 20:52:06 CEST

After a bit of a late night and then putting in a solid 10 hours work I've just been and done an 8k woodland run. I think I might be the best person in the world? Sorry everyone. If I'm the bar we're all fucked.

2026-07-14 22:21:17 CEST

I DID A RUN
It was very very hot. It was very very good and positive and I feel terrific. You know when you feel good and everything just seems to fall into place.... That's right this is a new me. I am a positive Peter now. That's my whole vibe. Finished my run and felt great. Car wouldn't start. Totally dead. Told everyone not to worry and I'd sort it out. Tried calling a mechanic friend but no response. No matter. I would simply leave the car and walk home and sort it out tomorrow night. But then..... from the only other car for miles around emerges a man. A man with the air of capability and knowledge. He produces a battery starter. Says don't worry about things and that he'll sort it out. Does all the wirey stuff and tells me to turn it over. Starts immediately. He's then gone. Vanishes in a puff of smoke. Did I imagine him? Was it..... an angel? Probably. I've been chosen by the heavens. No big deal. Turns out I'm the chosen one. Just FYI.

2026-07-13 20:00:15 CEST

Not saying I'm tired from my new job but at lunchtime I went and had a little sleep in the park (like the good old days). I was very tired and a bit hot and stressed on the way home and had to go to the shops for the kids because I've apparently raised them incapable of looking after themselves, then proceeded to have a heated argument with 19 about sanitary products (FYI menstruators, 'just get the blue one' is insufficient information when there are literally infinite choices) and then as I got to the till hot and bothered, and was trying to load my bag EFFICIENTLY, I put my extra large organic cucumber right through the foil top of my coconut yoghurt. It went everywhere. And then the kindly woman at the counter insisted on taking the cucumber off me and vigorously cleaning off the globs of white yoghurt all over it. Everyone looked at me and I'm pretty sure I'm now on a register for sex-vegetables or whatever. I now have to do CHORES and would quite like to sit down. I hope you are having a tremendous evening and didn't also accidentally end up in a porno. 👍

2026-07-12 10:43:40 CEST

Saw this on my very long getting lost in the woods walk yesterday, which (WITCH MORELIKE) I enjoyed enormously.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/906/108/967/830/212/original/262db185fef7b971.jpg

2026-07-12 10:23:40 CEST

Wife is away and just messaged the family group to say good morning and ask what everyone's upto today. I responded....
[12/07, 09:07] Ben: We are all dead and are now ghosts so mainly haunting and a bit of floating about
[12/07, 09:10] Ben: I went back to sleep after texting you earlier and just had a dream about having a difficult poo and some toilet attendants making fun of me as a bus load of people stopped outside the full wall window and could also see in. LEAVE ME ALONE I AM HAVING A DIFFICULT TOILET. What do you think it means?
[12/07, 09:15] Ben: Apparently a very common dream and people think it's about letting go of emotional baggage or feeling vulnerable to societal standing. I do feel quite a lot better for having my horrible dream poo tbf and I did feel like everyone in chiselhurst yesterday was beautiful and tall and all drove brand new top of the range cars whilst I was very hot and sweaty and am a small dumpy homunculus in a little red car like a cartoon person. Maybe that's what it was. Well I'm very sorry society, but you'll just have to take me as I am. I am terrific and just as valid as any of those other guys. I contribute to society JUST the same. In your stupid FACE, dream.
To which youngest replied...
"It's too early for this."
🤣🤣🤣
If you're ever wondering if people are the same irl as on Fedi.

2026-07-08 20:55:03 CEST

I am extraordinarily happy tonight, you beautiful beings. That is all. ❤️ X

2026-07-07 22:06:45 CEST

Been a bit slammed lately. Loooot of duties. Stayed up late last night aswell after being told yesterday afternoon 'oh it's French day tomorrow in work, you just have to make and bring in some French food'. Now. It's not their fault. They don't know what I'm like and I've kept the ND on the DL - for no particular reason other than I don't really want to talk about it outside of Fedi, and I managed to get most of the way through my work life before Dx and just DIDN'T WANNA. However it meant that I then had to make a pissaladière and for some reason also a Madeleines CAKE (I've lost my pan somehow so just invented a cake version - although I'm probably not the first person to think of it) to take in for 7am today. What did other people bring in, I hear you ask? 4 people brought in a baguette from sainsbury's, one person brought in a bulb of garlic and one person really pushed the boat out and bought 4 sad-looking chocolatines (I WILL NOT CALL THEM PAIN AU CHOCOLATS). I'm half joking. One person (my new nemesis, apparently) made two quiches and some ratatouille, and others brought in cheeses and charcuterie etc. I failed to get a picture of the cake (which came out rather well and was a big hit - I made two small ones sandwiching some citrus frosting), but here is my excellent tart. I really downplayed it by saying 'look guys it's not a competition but if it were I would be the winner, in all of your faces', which I think was the grown up thing to do.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/880/482/000/176/703/original/41593b4cefce1ef4.jpg

2026-07-05 12:29:24 CEST

I think the World Cup should be food-based. Hot dogs Vs Paella. Bacalhau com Natas Vs Fondue. Jollof Vs Fårikål. Chiles en Nogada Vs Greggs sausage roll. I will be the judge. I volunteer. I think I'm hungry. HERE COMES HARRY KANE WITH A CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA. Lovely. Let's watch that in replay. He's a national treasure. Straight past Mbappés moules frites. VAR calls cassoulet.

2026-06-30 23:10:33 CEST

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
You should be listening to some blues rock and roll

2026-06-30 07:22:56 CEST

This is exciting. CERN bids farewell to the Large Hadron Collider and enters the Long Shutdown 3; a major programme of maintenance, consolidation, upgrades and installation work that will prepare the Laboratory for the next phase - the High-Luminosity Large Hadron Collider (HiLumi LHC).
https://home.cern/cern-bids-farewell-to-the-lhc-and-enters-long-shutdown-3/

2026-06-28 18:57:23 CEST

Punctuation
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/828/785/870/288/979/original/4380665e65fc6c3f.jpg

2026-06-28 09:16:18 CEST

Had a really terrific evening with my little brother in law last night. We get on so well and it's so nice to go and hang out in male company that isn't sports or booze related but just an easy night. If you're ever looking for alternatives, I strongly recommend Turkish spots. Never even really occurred to me before but of course it's where all the cool young Black people go out on a Saturday night because there's a higher contingent of Muslims? So semi outdoor music and food places where you can have shisha and aren't primarily geared towards alcohol. Extremely lovely vibes. Feel like I've discovered something that will make a material difference in my life. Increasingly people are cutting out alcohol and it's been challenging finding out what that means for their / our relationship, when so much historically has been based around the drinking culture in the UK. So I absolutely love that we can pivot away from that and still go to slightly edgy bar-vibe places, and partake in ridiculous coffee and shisha to still feel 'vicey' but ultimately remove the alcohol element. They also sell beer there and I saw some people have one or two, so we said we'd get all the brothers down there for a night out as it would be a very unifying environment, giving everyone what they need. I also imagine would be great for the meat eaters aswell.
So we went to this place for 'pre-match' and was going to wander up to try and blag our way into a social club after (I reckoned we could pretend to be members and it would be less messy than a pub) but it turned out this Turkish place was showing the football anyway and also had a belly dancer! Something I didn't know I needed. All football matches should involve belly dancers somehow. Can we somehow have a match with a team of belly dancers? I feel like I've said belly dancers too much. Is that the right expression or is that sexist?
TLDR - turns out I can watch the football sober as long I replace beer with Turkish coffee. Had about 8 pints.
Edit - link if anyones interested - https://helvadere.co.uk/

2026-06-24 08:45:39 CEST

Look at this shit someone just sent me
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/803/731/876/793/672/original/3ed975056bbe90cf.jpg

2026-06-24 08:14:55 CEST

Have a great day, everybody. Drink more water than you think you need. Be patient with others. Be kind to yourselves. This heat is a new experience to the majority of our small island and people are overwhelmed and frightened. Frustrated and angry. Politically things are a mess. Many will have stayed up late to watch the football, drinking alcohol. I can only imagine those struggling with self service checkout tills losing their goddamned minds today. I've just walked to the bus stop and am drenched. This isn't our fault. We are not culpable. If you don't feel like you can do the thing today you don't have to do the thing. If anyone asks, tell them Ben said it was OK and they can talk to me if they've got a problem with it. Look after yourselves, fam. Hope you all have a day without adversity. X

2026-06-23 19:52:44 CEST

My wife's just said to someone on the phone 'wow you're very thorough, aren't you' and I don't know if it's the most devastating putdown she's ever used or if she's flirting with him

2026-06-23 08:14:03 CEST

Websites that place the button you use to engage in the middle of the page then seconds after the page loads it suddenly leaps to one side to be replaced by a subscribe now button. Who do you think you're fooling? Do you think I will accidentally sign up? Oh no I pressed the subscribe button instead of the play this puzzle button. Welp, suppose that's me done now I better just give you all of my bank details. Get over yourselves, Moriarty.

2026-06-22 22:24:05 CEST

Society has collapsed. Technology, turned against us. Global leaders fail to anticipate the speed of deterioration, whilst scientists, unheeded, watch on in horror as things begin to exponentially fall apart. The collapse of whole financial systems. Governments, no longer able to meet the basic needs of the populace withdraw to vanity bunkers.
Sold by eager opportunists to the 1%. A toy to show their friends. Structurally unsound and poorly designed for any real-world situation. Walls and ceilings seismically untested. Air systems with no redundancies. Interestingly, the longest surviving bunker dwellers are those in the Zuckerberg Hawaii compound and make it 17 months before the last remaining cannibal perishes. It is not Zuckerberg - who makes it only 5 weeks in, beating the record previously set by Amazon's Jeff Bezos who makes it barely 8 days before being consumed by his staff. The Earth is silent. The constant thrum of humanity replaced by clicks and creaks from the animals and trees. And yet..... on one small island, life goes on. A metastasized version of civilisation. The elders of the Love Island rule with an iron fist. No law but eugenics. Enormous titted creatures roam the beaches seeking out food. Those born with a want of knowledge are hunted. Deep in the jungle live The Readers. A quiet fearful people. But among them one day one is prophesied to rise. To lead them into the light. One day their time will come. To throw away their thongs and once again live in the light. One day their time will come.

2026-06-21 15:15:57 CEST

Having a very lovely FD (fathers day), with my three mostly grown up children working together to produce burger and chips over a 3 hour period and completely destroying my kitchen. Points where I was asked to get involved.....
- How do you do chips?
- Is vinegar safe to use in sauce?
- How do you defrost a burger?
- How do you cook a burger?
- Do you eat the stone of an avocado?
One of my children is 27 and has lived in her own place for many years. I'm now deeply concerned about how she's been sustaining herself.

2026-06-21 14:26:45 CEST

Fun fact! There are 79% more visually impaired people that use Fedi as their primary social media in this statistic I just made up. Therefore when you don't use AltText on your images, you're severely limiting the range of your posts. Some people seem to put a lot of effort into a post then attach an image with no descriptors, which is essentially like posting a blank nothing. A huge waste of your time and the time of many others. Not only our lovely thriving visually impaired community, but also the overwhelming majority of others who will likely choose not to engage with your no doubt excellent but limited content. It's such an easy fix that benefits you personally - assuming you want people to actually see and engage with your posts and they're not a secret you're trying to hide. And it makes you lovely and inclusive and like the sort of person people want to support and engage with.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/788/076/002/808/803/original/93e92ee327224fc3.jpg

2026-06-21 11:22:20 CEST

I AM HAVING CHEESECAKE FOR BREAKFAST

2026-06-21 01:05:05 CEST

We didn't deserve George Michael

2026-06-20 08:56:25 CEST

New York, London, Paris, Munich, everybody talk about.... pop music
(Shooby-dooby-doo-wop)

2026-06-19 07:44:27 CEST

Sorry to get all street lingo on your arses, but who on Earth is having a big spliff joint of weed cannabis at half past six of a morning? I don't begrudge people their joy/escape, but surely that's the equivalent of cartoon-bonging yourself in the face with a shovel then having to walk around all day with concussion. Or.... maybe it's the answer to everything. I'm not the authority or moral arbiter of anything. Wait. Should I be smashing myself in the face with shovels first thing in the morning?

2026-06-19 06:50:06 CEST

Daddy Long Legs is such a weirdly overtly sexual name for an insect. Who's naming this stuff?

2026-06-08 12:58:34 CEST

It is EXTREMELY EXTREMELY funny to me that that he announced this on Twitter. You quite literally could not make it up.
UK PM Starmer set to ban 'harmful' social media for under-16s
https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/uk-pm-starmer-set-ban-harmful-social-media-under-16s-2026-06-08/

2026-05-18 18:24:55 CEST

Hospital for yet another checkup on my heart after having an operation a couple of years ago (and being given the all clear last year). With the AuDHD Dx they don't want to give me any meds that might stress my heart unnecessarily. Fair enough. Have my tests done. Apparently I have 'amazing' blood pressure and the heart rate of an athlete. Bit weird but yay. Finally get in to see the cardiology doctor. Different from my normal one. And he starts asking why I want to be autistic and tells me it's so trendy at the moment. That lots of people are after adhd medication for fun. That it's the human condition and a spectrum and everyone's on it and he's probably a bit autistic aswell or whatever. Asked (scoffing) who diagnosed me. I gently explained that it was about 40 people over 3 years and that there were endless assessments and interviews and meetings and tests. Made an unconvinced noise then said well I suppose we better do some further tests on you then. 👍
I remember when I was a kid thinking doctors and lawyers and teachers and nurses and police were morally beyond reproach. Held to a higher standard. Like Cameron Poe in Con Air. What is happening. I'm pretty sure a doctor of specialist medicine just told me autism is made up and I'm being a silly boy and messing about wasting everyones time. Am I? Am I who's wrong? I'm fully prepared to accept this might be the case and that I've been caught up in some mass hysteria and it's just my natural rhythms and how I communicate that has made me *appear* to be ND when in fact I'm not and it's just some Venn overlap that's been misdiagnosed. Maybe all those people were so keen to diagnose another one that I got caught up with it all and thought..... yeah, actually maybe I *am*. But actually I'm not. It's very confusing. I'm being a bit glib but there's a bit of me that doesn't *not* think that a little. Most unpleasant. 2 stars.

2026-05-11 08:59:58 CEST

Oh no there's a Burger King logo generator
https://pixelframe.design/burger-king-logo-font-generator/
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/554/644/672/689/985/original/4ed17c2b437ebeb2.jpg

2026-04-29 08:26:27 CEST

I realised you're probably all already wildly celebrating and that I'm late to the party, but happy #WorldStationeryDay! I will be observing the occasion by not moving at all. Japes! Joshing! I realise that is stationAry (I didn't - I had to look it up). So break out your emergency pens, track some of that paper they used in the olden times (made from trees!) and if you remember how, make ink graphemes upon those matted cellulose fibers. 📜 ✍️

2026-04-23 20:05:46 CEST

This. Is. Bonkers.
Edit - reports coming in of people finding this vid a bit stressful
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/455/328/432/071/063/original/30e0ca24ca63459e.mp4

2026-04-05 09:27:43 CEST

In this age of progress and innovation, will anyone try for a new Easter world record? The big 10. I suspect it's all in the technique. Rather than one at a time, if assembled into a tall column then sat down on very quickly. Shock and awe.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/350/905/913/537/948/original/f7dff6840fa3cbe6.jpg

2026-02-11 19:38:33 CET

The three most expensive Netflix films are Electric State ($320m), Red Notice and The Gray Man ($200m each). If you're looking at top 5, you've got The Irishman ($160m) and 6 Underground ($150m). I love film. I love art. But if you removed those 5 films from the public consciousness would anything be any different? Would they even be missed? Over a billion dollars on films. Three quarters of a billion quid in real money. 750 times the amount I need to rescue my life and thrive. And for what. Does Michael Bay need that million? The Russo Brothers? Ryan Reynolds? In a 2016 Rolling Stone interview, Bay said that his net worth was around $500 million. He owned a $50 million Gulfstream G550 jet, as well as a Bentley, a Range Rover, an Escalade, a Ferrari, a Lamborghini, and two Camaros from the Transformers franchise. If anyone knows Michael, can they please let him know that I don't bear him any ill will, but I would be really ever so grateful if he would gift me a million pounds ($1,364,900). I would super appreciate it and would really genuinely go out of my way to let everyone know how terrific he is and to encourage them to watch his films even whatever the shit the Transformer franchise is supposed to be. I'll even offer to appear in any upcoming projects free of charge. Totally waive the upfront fee (as long as I get 5% on the backend and any distribution, and I will need my own trailer, and staff - a personal trainer, chef, acting coach, dialect coach, masseuse and hype-person). Hooray for Michael Bay who did NOT direct Heat as I thought - that was actually Michael Mann, Bay instead did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but for a cool one million I will happily say that is a better movie than Heat. Booo, Robert De Niro and Al Pacino and ensemble cast. Hooray for whoever was in TMNT the movie.

2025-03-16 18:06:58 CET

My wife is making me cook dinner even though I am unimaginably hungover. This is a violation of my human rights and possibly the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. Certainly in the top 5. Chicxulub impactor, Chinese River Disaster, Bubonic Plague then this. Someone needs to get Boutros Boutros-Ghali on the phone to sort this out.

2024-12-27 11:26:14 CET

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To everyone it's that? I assume it's meant to be ironic. Otherwise it would just be the sound of a bin lorry crusher. Do you mean it's less accessible for someone who's visually impaired because the music has replaced the original audio?

2024-12-16 00:38:24 CET

I'm sure this wasn't murder
Suchir Balaji: OpenAI whistleblower found dead in apartment
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd0el3r2nlko