pollyanna

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npub1fcyg7vy876n7wztuuhl8lkyyaszdm3576mxaxlz4ugq0waztz7fqzh9c3g

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nprofile1qqsyuzy0xzrldfl8p97wtlnlmzzwcpxac60ddnwn0327yq8hw3930yspp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqq3824s

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nos.lol

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npub1fcyg7vy876n7wztuuhl8lkyyaszdm3576mxaxlz4ugq0waztz7fqzh9c3g

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Last Notes

2025-06-25 23:37:40 UTC

quando nós nos deixamos sentir tudo o que chega pra sentirmos e não tentamos esconder, negar, reprimir as emoções, somos abraçados por uma transformação e surge um desejo de ação, que, tão sutil e tão integrado, se confunde com a própria ação.
o mais comum é não sentirmos tudo até o fim e nos distrairmos, então esse desejo-ação não chega a se manifestar, fica lá escondido junto com a emoção, gerando sintomas físicos variados.
mas às vezes temos coragem e suporte e confiança o suficiente para sentirmos tudo o que surgir em dado instante, mas há mais uma camada de emoção que surge junto com o desejo-ação, de que tentamos fugir. então reprimimos o desejo de novo.
toda vez que reprimimos esse desejo profundo que nasce de uma emoção plenamente sentida, agimos conforme uma norma social ou algo que já estava preestabelecido como o certo e, embora pareçamos puros e bons, estamos fazendo o mesmo que as pessoas que agem conforme seus impulsos imediatos. as ações de ambos surgem a partir de um condicionamento e uma tentativa de atingir um objetivo, de parecer algo: corajosos, bons, livres... para se sentirem, de algum modo, finalmente aceitos, felizes.
reprimimos esse desejo-ação porque viver essa experiência é viver uma transformação que nos deixa livres inclusive de ser quem acreditávamos tão fortemente que éramos de maneira sólida e definitiva. é viver com uma responsabilidade radical por cada instante e não abandonar o presente em troca de devaneios e vaidades.
o meu exercício dos últimos anos tem sido observar tudo o que não me deixo sentir e simplesmente parar de segurar a emoção, deixando o movimento acontecer naturalmente. mas eu ainda me vejo interrompendo minhas ações em nome de ser boa, dócil, paciente, cuidadosa, desprendida, ou qualquer coisa que pareça elevada. e isso é só continuar agindo conforme impulsos rasos e automáticos, sem presença real. e quando eu me dei conta disso, um caminho se abriu, de ação, de abertura e um desejo de escrever e compartilhar.
talvez ninguém leia isto, mas como é bom voltar a escrever sobre o que me ocorre.

2025-04-16 14:01:52 UTC

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nossa, não tinha pensado sob essa perspectiva. tem muitas perspectivas sobre a morte, né, pra mim ela segue no campo do mistério, mas ainda assim penso que não existe tarde demais. talvez para a perspectiva humana, né, de algo que poderia ser feito e não foi, do jeito que se imaginava. mas é que isso é uma ilusão, porque nunca nada é exatamente como imaginamos, mesmo quando fazemos o que planejamos.
ah, eu queria passar o dia escrevendo sobre essas coisas.

2025-03-29 01:17:51 UTC

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hahahha me fala mais das suas percepções sobre a árvore da vida? quando eu vi, umas pessoas saíram do cinema, foram embora. eu fiquei intrigada. e eu não conheci ninguém que tivesse gostado, mas também nunca procurei ninguém falando nada sobre ele.

2025-03-26 16:41:23 UTC

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hahahaha you are too good to be neutral ❤️ or is neutral the true good?
did I tell you I'm an INFP? I know I've written a comment telling you that, but I don't know if I sent it 😬

2025-03-26 15:46:52 UTC

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hahahaha lawful evil? I had to check the meaning 😬 but I loved it
https://image.nostr.build/23bf2e47a917e3699cc85d2be0b83b7862886864569743a053dde9eb60cd6fbe.jpg

2025-03-22 23:40:24 UTC

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a consciência com que agimos não é individual, não surge de nós enquanto entes separados do mundo, mas, ao mesmo tempo, sim, passa pela nossa singularidade e não a exclui nesse processo. acreditar que mudamos a nós mesmos individualmente é como pensar que estamos separados do outro que escutamos e nos inspirou a mudança, por exemplo. mas, sim, tem uma solitude em tudo isso, e eu tenho tentado investigar o que é essa singularidade em nós, o que é essa solitude, e tenho visto que ela não é uma solitude de separação, mas de composição.

2025-03-22 19:16:42 UTC

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not very often. when I do this, despite the discomfort and with an open heart, it is always very powerful and I see something I couldn't see before. but for that, I need to get rid of my ego, so I only end up doing it with people I feel very safe with.

2025-01-28 13:26:29 UTC

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só uma mente que se encontra com o vazio abre espaço para novas ideias.

2025-01-24 22:53:02 UTC

https://image.nostr.build/2f25e6c88b9cb2ffef2a021d0e868ac535c33efadd104dab0df73b092f6779cc.jpg

2025-01-19 09:32:32 UTC

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♥️ that's it. I loved it. I want to write about my experiences with kids, you inspired me. I'll try to do this soon

2024-10-04 14:25:45 UTC

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eu não conheço! eu conheci o "the wild unknown animal Spirit" e ele ressoou muito comigo! foi o oráculo mais interessante que eu já vi. esse outro parece incrível também.
o tarot também é impressionante, né? eu li um pouco do livro do Jodorowsky "o caminho do tarot", mas eu teria que me dedicar muito pra começar a aprender, porque é um universo inteiro, né?

2024-09-18 11:08:48 UTC

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I never read that, but my kids only listen to me when I'm really certain and confident in what I'm saying and willing to help them do what I'm telling. when I'm distracted saying and repeating they don't do what I'm telling and challenge me even more (so I can come back to earth and give them the limit they need). sorry if this has nothing to do with the book, but I love talking about parenting and education. did you read this book? would you like to talk more about it?
I didn't read a lot of patenting books, I think, only one from Laura Gutman "maternity coming face to face to your own shadow". I didn't feel guilty by the time I read it, maybe because I was pregnant and wasn't relating to my kids outside yet, but I heard it can go this way. I read "o poder do discurso materno" from Laura Gutman and I really liked it, I didn't find any English translation for that. I read a few John Holt books, but they were not about patenting, but education and unschooling.

2024-09-11 15:35:10 UTC

"When thoughts emenate from an ideology, a religion, or an identity, we are narrowing our view. When thoughts emenate from our true self, our thoughts are completely free because our true self is not caught in inside, outside, in-between, or any identity or ideology."
an excerpt from @nprofile…f3lk (thank you ♥️)
full text is here: https://sacredpeak.ink/2024/09/07/taking-responsibility/

2024-09-03 23:46:17 UTC

eu escrevi isto há seis anos, mas fiquei com vontade de compartilhar aqui.
alguns meses antes da morte do meu avô percebi que ele estava estranho comigo em uma confraternização da família. não disse nada, mas queria muito saber o que o afligia. em algum momento ele me chamou para conversar. seus olhos marejados fitaram os meus e ele abriu seu coração, dizendo o que lhe chateava e o que ele gostaria que acontecesse.
aquele foi um dos encontros mais potentes que tive com ele. eu nunca tinha visto meu avô chorar. sempre o via rindo e contando piadas, nunca o lado sensível aparecera - até aquele dia.
a primeira vez que vi meu pai em uma posição de fragilidade fiquei muito assustada. até então eu o imaginava como alguém imune às dificuldades da vida. depois de um tempo o vi chorar no enterro da minha avó, sua mãe. esses dois momentos de vulnerabilidade me marcaram muito, também.
sempre fui muito dura com meu pai, desde criança. era como se eu acreditasse que ele aguentava qualquer coisa que eu dissesse. como se ele não se sensibilizasse a ponto de se entristecer com as coisas que eu apontava. ele demonstrava raiva com frequência, fazia piadas de tudo, parecia não ligar para meus dramas e eu acreditei que aquilo que eu via era ele inteiro.
mas agora, e apenas agora, eu considero suas emoções escondidas. a tristeza que em algumas fotos eu pude ver em seu olhar. o medo que devia sentir em situações variadas, mas que eu nunca percebi. tudo o que eu via como fragilidade, mas que na verdade são emoções humanas válidas e legítimas - também quando sentidas por homens.
há um tempo tenho olhado para os homens com quem compartilho esta vida e vejo que muitos não se sentem livres para expressar suas emoções genuinamente. acreditam que têm um papel a cumprir e que precisam se comportar sem demonstrar vulnerabilidade pra que o alcancem adequadamente.
e eu tenho visto as minhas ações que os sustentam nesse lugar. tenho olhado pro meu próprio medo, para quantas vezes deleguei a eles a preocupação com minha segurança, para o quanto me doía vê-los tristes, como se isso fosse ruim. tenho olhado para os papeis de vítima que assumi.
hoje eu quero dizer que eu acolho, aceito e agradeço a vulnerabilidade dos homens, desejando que eles tenham a oportunidade de se encontrar com suas emoções negligenciadas e escondidas. que eles se sintam confortáveis para acolher as outras pessoas, sem precisar se preocupar em protegê-las. que eles possam lidar com o sofrimento alheio sem precisar encontrar uma piada que lhes pareça compatível. que eles possam rir, brincar de forma natural, sem tentar esconder o que de fato sentem. que eles se sintam livres para se expressar de maneira genuína, conforme seus desejos mais profundos.

2024-08-30 01:51:33 UTC

com muita frequência eu sinto que tenho muito a dizer, mas o silêncio sempre parece falar mais alto em mim. talvez essa ideia de que eu tenho mesmo muito a dizer seja só vaidade, a imaginação de que o que eu disser vai ser algo muito importante na vida de alguém. talvez seja bom que o silêncio se imponha. mas às vezes eu arrisco falar e arriscar falar é também deixar a vaidade de lado e ver que as minhas palavras só têm efeito em mim. e é o efeito de uma brisa. acolher isso é sentir o frescor do vento na pele.
https://image.nostr.build/3e90b3fcee4acca2a361de2a5a4cc5e3abd86d8667898ec54bd1a7e5ed375bc7.jpg https://image.nostr.build/c168643e4070d442ab43b778df107a1909d9795d461472ac92cad573c97721c0.jpg
https://image.nostr.build/942f3b452f05795f0795bc583d0ef223ae8ae1fa119816ce48ad0554e1394cc5.jpg
https://image.nostr.build/ea5adf4e7e434e72aef3efcea9e2dbbcb8a280df9a4fd7592816efcfc0506f5d.jpg https://image.nostr.build/5b93c2a9816c73bb849f6d5765b971690f234e1b5caa0943164b8c2f3d23cfff.jpg

2024-08-28 23:10:40 UTC

when we can just be with the simple things we deeply touch life.
https://image.nostr.build/fabf002d0c4bba4e2f53c484eb882e6f581009ab6b7288108ae1c45e37bc61ce.jpg
https://image.nostr.build/bfb4b150d28ac88a408adf629e84ccf0fbd15f3879183e78d7f23cb14430e351.jpg
https://image.nostr.build/1207fa01b4f764e6d3ea1f2c5ab72212de8b28e2c99d73ac5b785cdc21ea39cc.jpg
https://image.nostr.build/d01d36e39acb3c7bb253ae1b7967f5bb7ce03e5b5570ab0e85a8107643412bda.jpg
https://image.nostr.build/cb3acfd87029d9a3048e7208fc19614411c59c95a4cadbd6cf21c0ada8a4c114.jpg

2024-08-27 17:02:50 UTC

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when I came here I had to deal with the silence. I had no idea of who to follow and was to afraid or arrogant to ask. I started writing about important things to me and people didn't see it - I followed not a single soul. but than I saw a post from @nprofile…23d6 and she embraced me and I felt like seeing other people's posts and talking to them. and I started to find more interesting people along the way. I don't follow many people bacause I can't deal with many posts. you don't need an algorithm to make your experience. but I think it helps if you feel you're welcome. and you are. it's not that anyone here needs you or me to be here, it's just that we are glad if you are and if you find people who you can talk to and feel enlightened and inspired and all that. what are you interested in?

2024-08-26 23:00:25 UTC

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♥️✨ thank you!

2024-08-22 23:59:37 UTC

today I noticed my efforts to be invisible, to not cause trouble, to not leave marks wherever I go, to be unreachable so I can't receive anything others try to offer me.
I was letting all these thoughts pass, and I was feeling all that arrived with that, when I saw those birds in this picture. they were not trying to be anything. they were not flying for me to take their picture and they were not trying to avoid being seen by me. they were doing their thing.
and I saw them. and maybe I saw myself.
https://image.nostr.build/9e025fce68ff843d37caf364201e8e85ed9b334ff3c0217eb65f7c209d49598b.jpg

2024-08-20 23:57:04 UTC

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I just finished the episode. :)
I had this question since I was teenager, at least: "how can I tell kids that they can be what they want to be?". and I married the person who answered the question with unschooling.
the question have changed, maybe to "what is obstructing my view of who my kids are in present moment?" That's mostly what I think I need to offer space for my kid's potential to bloom.
now we have two kids here that have never been to school and it was so nice to hear more about Sylvia's story. I started to imagine us at a place to be, although we don't live near there. but it can change. sending my best wishes for both of you and your projects!
I loved both episodes and I can't wait to hear more.

2024-08-20 19:33:39 UTC

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https://image.nostr.build/cba60d86700cd3a47af85c413a1a990d2a568f9c514fb614423cb869375b08fd.jpg

2024-08-13 22:40:59 UTC

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I also think it is. 😬

2024-08-11 01:12:08 UTC

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hahaha my mom keeps a few
at my grandma's house there are more of them and the player, we call it "vitrola"
https://image.nostr.build/f4bbef58f171ea447266ca9390c25d6b926c3453c3ec069aa0602997a613a953.jpg

2024-08-10 23:34:54 UTC

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hahahah
my father's collection at my mother's house
https://image.nostr.build/a4d14f740920cbf4e58c1f0556a61beb9a25e4c75108b4ac83daf912dd2222c5.jpg

2024-08-07 12:46:18 UTC

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are you writing a novel? that's cool! what is it about? I would love to hear more about it. ☺️

2024-08-06 16:33:05 UTC

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maybe to apply it to the skin on your belly with an oil (coconut?). I thought about peppermint, but since you're recovering from surgery I don't know if it's good. @npub1nl8…f9d0, do you know what could help?

2024-08-04 23:36:33 UTC

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only 13 🤷🏽‍♀️

2024-08-04 17:04:12 UTC

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I was thinking that I couldn't believe someone wouldn't like you, but then I thought that I actually don't think anyone can hate others. they always hate their own projections about others. Ultimately, they hate themselves.
But then I started seeing myself and something I'm struggling with came to light. I really think that when someone bothers me I should take a closer look within myself - the person is giving me a clue and an opportunity to feel something I wasn't ready to feel before. But when I bother someone, I get lost in guilt, maybe, and I can't leave their projection l them. There is something about me when I bother the other person, but that's not what the person felt or thought. I must stay with what I feel when I face the fact that I sometimes bother/irritate people.
thank you, noshole! it cleared my mind.

2024-07-28 22:19:33 UTC

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https://image.nostr.build/e704135a80c51f54549a15f8721e9c7c42252cc0b0a6244004b13efe14b2df35.jpg

2024-06-26 22:47:06 UTC

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you said you are close, how are you feeling about it all? about her and her child?
I'm sending you a hug!
maybe the best you can do to prepare for helping her is to be aware of what you're feeling and embracing it all, so you can also offer her this love space.

2024-06-25 12:55:31 UTC

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observing children inspires me to simplicity, honesty and to allow myself to feel all that comes (and writing this with my son sleeping on my lap makes me cry)
seeing people showing their love for each other inspires me to open myself up for just noticing love that surrounds us
noticing sore spots in my body inspires me to listen and to see what is asking for deep changes but I'm resisting
when I feel uncomfortable with someone, it inspires me to find within myself why I can't see the whole person, what is blinding me

2024-06-21 19:38:31 UTC

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you've been through a challenging and beautiful journey. thank you for sharing, that's inspiring! I'm sending a hug for you and your wife.
may your wife have a wonderful birthday and a loving life for both of you (for what I've seen it already is).

2024-06-20 19:11:41 UTC

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I'm sorry about your marriage.
this subject is something I'm really interested in, and I have a lot to say about my own experiences, so if you want to talk more about feelings and vulnerability I'll be very glad to write more.
it is not easy to face anyone's vulnerability and it's true we are not used to seeing men being vulnerable. and when we face that it's frightening, cause we grew up believing that man we trust would protect us from harm - and this illusion comes with the belief that feeling sadness ou fear, for exemple, is not safe and makes men week.
but to really built a relationship in which both of us can be ourselves, I must allow myself to feel the fear, the insecurities that come when I see my husband being human and feeling all that comes for him to feel. and when I allow myself to feel that, I can truly embrace his feelings and we can support each other.
I started paying attention to this in my life at least seven years ago. in 2017 I wrote something about not feeling fully in charge of my safety when I was with my boyfriend (now husband) and the extra weight he felt like he needed to carry when I just left it up to him. he is very honest and his honesty inspired me to be honest with myself and that was the space I needed to be aware of myself, to really open myself up for feeling whatever comes.
as anyone, we sometimes fear vulnerability, but when we realize that, we can rest and be vulnerable and face our true feelings so they can go and bring fresh air to both of us. as time passes we are more intimate and supportive.
I am open to listen to everyone's feelings. that's really the thing I find most interesting in life, maybe. I'm here if any of you want to talk.

2024-06-19 09:56:45 UTC

o que em você agora renasce e, em espanto, você pode dar as boas-vindas?
https://image.nostr.build/f6b4032fc57b46fc3e8d095a076efbe03bde6b93df2e72c119c55a3bf7b4437f.jpg

2024-06-16 12:59:17 UTC

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yes! but not only nostr, all my words. I guess nostr shows that more clearly

2024-06-16 12:39:38 UTC

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I think it is hahaha
I meant an overflow from the empty space, but this was not where I was coming from with this writing. I think I've been invited to silence and I'm so afraid of that, to just be here in silence and feel all that comes, that I came here and wrote something just to scape and also hoping that it will happen eventually.
but how did you feel reading that?

2024-06-16 00:21:10 UTC

tenho feito mais silêncio nos últimos dias. mas reparo minha urgência de falar, como se só assim minha existência se tornasse válida. sustento o silêncio até que a palavra não seja recurso de validação, mas transbordamento.
https://image.nostr.build/df8b11c1886442b8be8734d476933fe030fcbc30e61376cdcbeefdad957d135a.jpg

2024-06-03 13:57:25 UTC

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I love when you point my excessive talk. it's not comfortable haha but it's great

2024-06-03 13:25:05 UTC

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is a call to pay attention to see something more clearly.
sometimes there is real danger and alertness can help you act quickly
sometimes the fear comes from an idea, a thought, a projection, that is not allowing you to be closer to something, to truly see it. when you allow yourself to feel the fear and release the idea, projection, thought, you can see more clearly and be with the real thing.
I'm afraid of saying something stupid here, but if I feel that and release this idea, I stop being so self-centered and I can be here open to learn with what comes

2024-06-02 18:28:36 UTC

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it was so nice to see this drawing and your handwriting!

2024-06-02 10:39:04 UTC

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I'm doing this intensively every day for some years and I surprise myself all the time with feelings I was supressing. it's not easy to really accept we can feel whatever comes, we are not used to that in general. since we were kids we learned to run away from feelings, to distract ourselves instead of staying, feeling whatever comes and testifying a transformation that opens us to create freely.

2024-06-02 00:07:56 UTC

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we can only see the past from the present. if there's something for you to learn from the past, your body will show you right now. in my experience, we just project the past in the future cause we couldn't (for many reasons) feel something in the past. so we keep living the same story so we have the chance to feel. and the way to change that is feeling whatever comes. feeling what you're feeling right now. does this seem strange?

2024-05-31 15:27:42 UTC

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my body rested when I read this. ❤️ thank you!

2024-05-31 15:03:01 UTC

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I read your text on your website. it's amazing. so beautiful image of the sitar. that's exactly what I've experienced with my emotions and that's where authenticity starts - feeling whatever you're feeling each moment. ❤️
yesterday my ego was hurt cause I thought someone was angry at me and was avoiding me. I told this to a friend and she reminded me that it was someone's feelings (if it's not my projection, cause it can be) and I should accept them as they are, but, of course, feeling sad about that is also ok. so I could let go the resistance to feel what I was feeling and was more open to embrace what the other supposedly feels.
observing my resistance to feel is mostly what I do daily. thank you so much for sharing this ❤️

2024-05-31 11:38:05 UTC

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the space that appears when we cease efforts to be and live something other than what we experience now

2024-05-28 01:04:48 UTC

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oh, the punch or breaking into my house is certainly their responsibility, no excuses or justification can take that away.
what is blame to you? maybe what you call blame I'm calling responsibility.

2024-05-28 00:15:10 UTC

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would you tell me more about us being the sum of the actions?
blaming others is always an illusion, but I do that sometimes. when I see what I'm doing I can be responsible for what I'm feeling and see my projections.
and about being smart: when I'm talking about things I live and are important to me I usually don't try to win or to be the smartest person, but I see a lot of competition in me when I'm supressing myself somehow.

2024-05-27 15:35:34 UTC

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haha did you feel any remorse doing that?
because of your comment on the wrong note, other people saw my post and I felt heard. :)
--
but about your real answer, why do you think you shouldn't feel remorse?

2024-04-29 23:22:39 UTC

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quando eu entrei aqui também me senti muito perdida e falando sozinha - e eu estava mesmo haha você foi mais ativo que eu seguindo as pessoas. eu precisei me sentir bem-vinda aqui pra começar a fazer isso. e isso aconteceu porque tem um grupo de mulheres que me acolheu. pelo que eu vejo, eles querem que outros assuntos sejam falados aqui, o que você tá fazendo é bem o que desejam pra isso aqui crescer. variar os assuntos e até trazer os seus desconfortos. eu acho, né?

2024-01-05 23:05:16 UTC

what feelings or emotions you think you shouldn't feel?

2023-11-02 02:24:44 UTC

o fim da escrita é sempre o encontro
e encontros são sempre começos