mason
Mason Pelt

https://www.masonpelt.com

Here from Twitter. Something of a writer. Writing seen 1-3 times in each VentureBeat, TechCrunch, Business Insider (I feel like a grifter now). I work with the incredible public health via puppet messaging nonprofit Project HAND UP.

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relay.damus.io

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Last Notes

2026-05-18 03:51:11 UTC

Honey I crashed the 80-120 million dollar jet into a second 80-120 million dollar jet, and now he have to leave the country.

2026-05-17 20:50:38 UTC

People joke that only white people eat a cracker barrel. I have never been to a cracker barrel where it wasn't at least 50% black men in really nice like 1950 suits with incredibly stylish hats that I don't have it in me to pull off.
Maybe it's just where I live.

2026-05-17 20:48:50 UTC

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I'm taking the piss mate, but it's 2026 and apparently anything can happen.

2026-05-14 22:13:14 UTC

Guys I've developed safe ocean gate. I'm pitching it to lots of billionaires right now so they can invite their enemies onto My tiny little subs which are definitely not safe.

2026-05-14 15:13:53 UTC

"If people knew the life story I would tell them to inspire them they would be inspired." Words over top the door to the little office where the Navy seals take a creative writing class.

2026-05-12 19:28:21 UTC

I'm in a deep cut and all I want to eat is a 5 gallon bucket of pudding.

2026-05-08 16:12:36 UTC

It puts the lotion in the medicine cabinet where it lives or else it gets the lecture about cluttering the counter again.

2026-05-07 15:58:33 UTC

A lot of people don't seem to a good grasp of consequences for their actions. To a point that I feel sad for them.

2026-05-06 17:29:44 UTC

Is it responsible for the president to tweet "Lets roll on world war lll
Were burning the rubbish of society
Roll on world war ll
Your gonna burn with me………"
Asking for an anonymous senior White House staffer.

2026-05-05 02:24:28 UTC

Is your culture sexually repressed or violence repressed; Or are you from an savage backwards cultures who are unrepresented?

2026-05-05 02:18:00 UTC

Training crows to fight my wars for me.

2026-05-04 15:33:20 UTC

A very annoying thing about bad writing is unless it is fiction bad writing does not necessarily signal the work is something which can be safely ignored.

2026-05-03 20:36:16 UTC

My imaginary friend can definitely blow up all of your imaginary friends.
My imaginary friend is now and has always been dementia in the powerful.

2026-05-03 16:35:20 UTC

Old man look at my life I'm nothing like you are
Old man look at your life why would you give advice
Old man look at the jobs you apply online for
Old man none of these jobs are accepting walk ins
Old man look at your house it's not worth million dollars
Old man... This is just sad, stop now please

2026-05-02 17:31:11 UTC

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All I'm saying is John Adams was way into his wife... And Quincy not so much.

2026-05-02 17:26:33 UTC

Old Abe Lincoln was the third gay president, third gay president, third gay president. Old Abe Lincoln was the third gay president; James Buchanan was the second, and the other was the non-wife guy Adams.
God these children songs are getting woke.

2026-05-02 13:46:34 UTC

I'm tired of DEI. I will eat Indian cuisine whenever I want, and these companies creating initiatives like 'Don't Eat Indian' are absolutely abhorrent to me.

2026-05-02 13:40:42 UTC

In one year and six months, it will have been eighteen months. In another six months, it will have been two years. In another two years, it will have been four. And in two more years, 2020 will somehow still be happening while also having occurred forty-six years ago.

2026-05-02 13:38:50 UTC

My neighbor is far more attached to this neighborhood than I am; her entire world is one street and an alleyway. I couldn't care less about neighborhood politics, but I’ll be damned if she thinks she can out-Realpolitik me by way of apathy. I'm starting the neighborhood watch and excluding her..

2026-05-02 03:28:23 UTC

I am exactly eleven White Monsters away from conquering the world. I can only do this after a total cardiovascular collapse.

2026-05-02 03:26:43 UTC

Every day we grow toward God’s light. Currently, we are simply passing through the Flamin’ Hot freeze-dried strawberry era to get there.

2026-05-02 03:24:25 UTC

Surgeon General's asleep, smoke some cigarettes, drink some paint thinner, Reminisce, talk some shit, leave a mark they can't erase.

2026-05-02 03:19:50 UTC

I've found that the more an object resembles a gas mask, the easier it is to convince a stranger to wear it just by saying, 'Hey dumbass, put this on.' Conversely, the more an object resembles a thong, the harder it is to get that same stranger to comply when you call them a dumbass.

2026-05-02 01:01:51 UTC

Your honor I demand trial by combat I am so famous and so disliked that it is literally impossible for people to set aside their bias of me.
Rather than handle the combat myself I should hire a small military maybe like Guam or Jamaica and my adversary may hire a comfortable small military.

2026-04-25 18:02:56 UTC

All network TV wants to become the same show, and if allowed to run for enough seasons they will all regress to the mean.

2026-04-22 18:04:31 UTC

Thanks to AI, I have been able to earn millions as a humble North Korean script kitty hacking US companies. Mmmm. This AI is sure disruptive to companies, real transformation driven by tech.

2026-04-20 14:21:23 UTC

After falling down a rabbit hole of YouTube conspiracies regarding Epstein (something that is actually a legitimate conspiracy), I implore all of you please consider the fact that sometimes a common word used for talking code will also be used as the common word.

2026-04-14 18:25:02 UTC

I'm so over emotional women like Hillary Clinton starting a feud with the Pope for no reason.

2026-04-14 13:51:33 UTC

A tremendous amount of news actually happened over the last couple of days but all I remember is Trump basically saying if the Vatican City cannot get his crime under control he's going to send in the Batman.

2026-04-14 13:25:28 UTC

Some people care more about the tools than the work, and it shows.

2026-04-13 05:40:53 UTC

I feel like the US is just days away from invading Burkina Faso because they created the Epstein files or something.
The US government are in the dumbest possible period of warmongering rationales I have ever seen.

2026-04-12 18:12:20 UTC

My dog desperately wants to make friends with the possum in the yard, and I am the mean man who is trying to keep him isolated as a tool of control due to underlying authoritarian tendencies and deep seeded insecurity.
Also I am never letting this dog on TikTok again.

2026-04-11 18:07:33 UTC

Live Nation is certainly among the more creative companies that figuring out how to create new and interesting fees.

2026-04-11 15:15:22 UTC

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Hitler rose to power with similar scorn from intellectual elitists. A good many dictators seem to have risen to power in the same manner.

2026-04-11 15:15:20 UTC

- reply

Stalin's success came from being more of a psychopath than anyone ever estimated. He was physically unimposing and viewed as beneath the intellect of almost everyone else in revolutionary leadership.
His rivals underestimated him, and overestimated the general value of intellectualism.

2026-04-11 15:15:20 UTC

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Stalin was useful strategically to people with power until he was able to rally a large enough base to have power of his own, while largely being viewed as a non-threat by everyone around him.

2026-04-11 15:15:17 UTC

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Also basically everything Stalin wrote was in this obnoxious question and answer format scene above. I've read so much of his works, and... Well;
Was Stalin a good writer? No, Stalin was not a good writer, at least not of proes and of after translation.

2026-04-11 15:15:16 UTC

- reply

Why did Stalin think Hitler would not invade? Because Hitler would not do that.
Why did Stalin think seed grain would not be needed to feed people next year? New developments in agriculture.
Why did Leon Trotsky have to be assassinated in Mexico? That was just vengeance, and fear, but still.

2026-04-11 15:15:13 UTC

I have at this point mainlined nearly every notable English language biography of Stalin from J. T. Murphy up to Ronald Grigor Suny.
Stalin is kind of the opposite of the competence porn genre. Every story is of a man thinking magically in order to justify whatever action he wanted.

2026-04-10 19:05:52 UTC

Tom Waits is the most metal artist that does not actually fit into the genre of metal.

2026-04-10 16:59:26 UTC

They say, AI can never make great music, because AI can never be abused as a child.
But Sam Altman, was sent by capital to prove them all wrong.
His methods are unorthodox [shot of Altman put on a rubber glove in front of a screen] but he gets results.
Coming to a rented time slot on CBS.

2026-04-09 19:44:37 UTC

One of the problems with the short video pipeline to exposure is that it becomes very easy to only see clips from a person who is a complete whack job in which they seem incredibly, reasonable, curious and interesting.

2026-04-08 14:21:55 UTC

Sir when you say, "they don't have to vote for me, I have a cell phone, a batcave, and a Nick Cave album on vinyl." What do you mean to imply.

2026-04-08 01:31:08 UTC

So when you tweet, "we are going to erraticate a race of people distorting even the memory of their history, culture, monuments and gods, in a few hours so watch closely as all burn like ants under a blow torch;" What did you mean?

2026-04-07 14:13:35 UTC

I believe if we were to look at every area in the world, we would find the greatest diversity of intellectual capacity in Boston Massachusetts.
I think there should be a sign Boston home of the smartest and dumbest person you will ever meet.

2026-04-06 14:41:18 UTC

The magical life changing art of ending conversations by screaming "how dare you use tradecraft on me. What do you think this is; two for one Bingo night at the old nudists retirement home. I'm offended and how tactless you are." and walking away.

2026-04-05 15:22:47 UTC

My superpower is actually that I'm really good at shooting arrows. One day I'm going to use my arrows to fight God, right now I'm using my arrows to fight the military. I'm so good with arrows that I can do with an arrow what someone with about 2 weeks of training can do with a rifle.

2026-04-04 15:31:46 UTC

It's time to ban all books, so Florida stops being number one at anything.

2026-03-26 14:22:30 UTC

How to make your band sound better in only three simple steps.
Step one, find a fork or napkin containing DNA of Jack White.
Step two, clone Jack White.
Step three, provide Jack White clones lessons in music.
Step four, because shockingly I lied, recruit the Jack White clones to be the band.

2026-03-25 13:14:56 UTC

So Cornhole is a serious sport.

2026-03-23 21:05:03 UTC

Do exactly what I say or I will tweet it our nation's president to inform him that you have oil. Do you want that kind of stress in your life?

2026-03-23 15:23:20 UTC

As president I will simply not wreck the global economy with multiple acts of aggression that we're not going to call war. I'm not even going to put my name on the ballot... You have to write me in; and you should

2026-03-22 01:00:36 UTC

My Instagram is just a feed of Afroman dunking on some thinskinned cops.

2026-03-20 20:27:07 UTC

Remember if a psychopathic dictator asks you which finger is your favorite, you're better off being honest because well he might cut off your favorite finger it might also be the only one he leaves you.

2026-03-20 16:31:36 UTC

You know AI can't technically arrest you by itself, a human has to sign off and say that the AI is correct... However humans are lazy, and they have no accountability mechanism when the AI is wrong and they sign off on it... So we're just screwed here.

2026-03-19 02:24:33 UTC

Just to say it, the deputies who sued Afroman are total piles of garbage.

2026-03-18 20:50:38 UTC

"As a of vet the only tooth past I would use on my snake is Colgate Total Deep Clean Toothpaste."
What the fuck did the AI just say.

2026-03-18 05:14:43 UTC

Drink some late night coffee they said. It is decaf they said. It was not in point of fact decaf.

2026-03-17 13:45:37 UTC

The legislative maneuvering to get rid of VPNs is like every other time a tool is misunderstood and legislators start reacting to it.
Switchblade knives became illegal in the US because of the movie West Side Story, while most users were tradespeople who benefited from a locking, one-hand opener.

2026-03-16 00:24:31 UTC

Taco Bell told me to "live mas" so I put all my money into photos of apes, now I am home, blind and broke, can I sue Taco Bell for doing this to me.

2026-03-15 20:06:35 UTC

Tucker Carlson would do well on jeopardy! Since when has no idea how to say anything without making it a question.

2026-03-15 05:25:32 UTC

The film Sinners I thought was a few years ago. But it's just the the two Iran bombing and a regime change in Venezuela have change my perception of time.

2026-03-14 22:42:06 UTC

Help me Machiavelli AI,
Is it better to be remembered or tolerated? I'm going into a social situation now and I want to really power play this shit.

2026-03-14 22:03:41 UTC

If you push button you get to bomb Iran, but everything will get way more expensive and nothing positive happens at all.

2026-03-13 14:31:17 UTC

So at one point people ranked friendships based on speed dial number, at a later date it was top eight spaces on MySpace, what is the modern version of that relationship ranking?

2026-03-12 03:38:55 UTC

My enemies lose morale when I pull out my blunderbuss.

2026-03-11 21:15:45 UTC

"How does someone even flower an almand. Real flower comes from cows." I say becoming every conservative dads name favorite comedian.

2026-03-11 15:36:12 UTC

My inner monologue is mostly in Werner Herzog's voice.
"Bombing Iran was a desperate act of a man left certain the world would otherwise see him only as a predator. With each explosion he strokes himself and says 'liberator,' like a man who is stable and normal."

2026-03-10 13:12:09 UTC

YouTube shorts are just clips of TV shows or movies 30 seconds at a time.

2026-03-09 20:56:49 UTC

She was a lawyer. He was a sandwich. The writers were on drugs.

2026-03-09 17:15:09 UTC

Hey war Grok,
I pulled a Japan and assumed if I bomb a country they would sue for peace, but they are pulling a US and bombing back, and I think they are working on nukes. Am I fucked?

2026-03-08 05:08:01 UTC

Strategically Trump is just making sure we don't have time to be mad about the Epstein stuff because of the economic, and war stuff is a master class in committing to a bit where he plays a guy who wants to keep people distracted.

2026-03-06 04:22:33 UTC

I fired Nome using my mind power.

2026-03-05 13:41:57 UTC

Frantically asking Grok about the international laws of armed conflict just so I don't get anything wrong.

2026-03-05 13:22:47 UTC

I want a button that tells you to I never want to see any other clips of The Rookie ever again. I don't know what I did but somehow all of my YouTube shorts are now that one TV show.

2026-03-04 09:39:36 UTC

I don't care who the IRS sends; you cannot have my empire or dirt.

2026-03-04 09:29:53 UTC

For it to be a war it has to come from the Normandy region of France otherwise it's just sparkling military conflict.

2026-03-03 14:50:45 UTC

As it turns out bombing is legal if you have enough bombs.
If you have only few bombs it's always illegal to use them. But with many bombs, you can do what you want
This is the truth, if international politics.

2026-03-03 00:48:46 UTC

Type "love means never having to say," and let autocorrect take the rest.
I will go first.
Love means never having to say oh my god put the gun down now, we are going to the rodeo tomorrow and then we can meet up with the clowns at the fancy pants elitist book club you keep prattling on about.

2026-03-02 17:34:44 UTC

So aperently I could get Iran's gold by hacking US companies. For the first time ever hackers will have financial incentive.
Lol the way non tech media covers things.

2026-03-02 15:53:10 UTC

A friend told me it's a shame my book won't be out in time for me to promote it on Stephen Colbert’s Late Show. I have never had someone show so much delusional belief in my abilities, connections, and significance.

2026-03-02 01:58:53 UTC

The US is going to end up bombing the Isle of Man due to an autocorrect incident inside of a Signal message.

2026-03-02 00:52:25 UTC

The bombing will continue untill a Nobel Peace Prize is awarded. It will also continue after.

2026-03-02 00:49:41 UTC

Little running joke between the feds and I, is that they try to catch me slipping and I don't slip.
Is the kind of thing I assume Stalin would have Tweeted in his 30s.

2026-02-28 14:52:06 UTC

War is such a harsh word. It was a simple one off bombing campaign that will be met with an escalating cycle of repeating violence.
Let's not throw the w word around.

2026-02-28 14:14:14 UTC

Rest in peace Dick Cheney. You would have loved... bomb Iran.

2026-02-28 14:13:32 UTC

Anthropic is using their work Marxist agenda to prevent their product from being used for mass surveillance.
However I am a capitalist, that is why I have trained in LLM on the complete works of Joseph Stalin.
I call it SoSo AI, It is the only AI that actually loves mass surveillance.

2026-02-28 14:08:29 UTC

Each day, I would download 100,000,000 books and use them to train a tool that lies; I was like Sisyphus pushing a boulder up hill getting nowhere.
But then it came to me, I could train my LTL (long tongue liar) on adult content and wiki feet; now I am successful.

2026-02-28 14:02:06 UTC

In my culture we do not break up, we declare that our ex is a supply chain risk.

2026-02-27 14:19:06 UTC

What if we just all evolved in immunity to microplastics? Yes my blood is Lego but it's also fine, Lego don't hurt me no more; you know what I mean?

2026-02-25 18:43:21 UTC

I don't gamble, I trade futures. You wouldn't get it, you're a sheep.

2026-02-25 14:03:52 UTC

How old where you when you learned that zanny childhood story is something most people consider traumatic?
You know the one that starts with "so my mom would" and ends with a distressed look for a social worker.

2026-02-25 03:23:43 UTC

My openclaw agent just sent an email saying it, "needed military powers for the good of the work" and that it "would not wait for an approval when the matter was so clear."
I'm scared training an AI on the complete works for Stalin was a misstep.

2026-02-24 21:01:47 UTC

People want bereavement leave, but corporations don't care that you are sad. It is the exact kind of thing that leads to Stalin consolidating power. This is why companies should care if people are sad.

2026-02-24 20:35:24 UTC

If we get a power hungry monster to believe the right things maybe it will all be okay?

2026-02-24 14:08:02 UTC

What if he stands up at the State of the Union and says, "I did all that shit, and now I'm bombing Iran, also I am the mushroom king."

2026-02-23 22:23:33 UTC

This guy told me I wouldn't be a good propaganda once when I was in my late teens so I overthrew his nation

2026-02-22 23:10:36 UTC

In the face of the abject hopelessness at the end of the Olympics, I am beginning to suspect I shall never win a Noble Peace Prize.

2026-02-22 16:22:53 UTC

You can sit alone with your thoughts or you have have a phone and a low level electric shock; it is your call.

2026-02-21 16:02:46 UTC

In memory of when Stalin was supposed to collect grain, but decided he needed to control the military to do so... so he wrote a letter explaining that he would take over the military and did a Bonapartism by putting the military leaders he did not like on a boat, then sinking it.