Now @[email protected]

Candidate for mayor of Mastodon. Master of the mystic (f)arts. Diogenes of the Fedi. Rational man with an absurdist kink. Toot curator. Cynical Optimist. Grounded Psychonaut. Livestreamer. Maker of bread. Writer. Zombie killer. Follower of the Dharma. Amateur photographer. Will create mischief for food.

#fedi22 #MastoHelper #video #peertube #gaming #reviews #entertainment #baking #meditation #live #livestreaming #kindness #mentalhealth #cannabis #adhd #dogs #cats

https://ko-fi.com/mrfunkedude

Public Key

npub1r20mzd9sen3ea46pyf0g50smqx2vwlkunmqz2ynqq806eur4w6xsyp3jxh

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsp48a3xjcvecu76aqjyh528cdsr9x80mwfasp9zfsqrhav7p6hdrgpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dswyrzmp

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1r20mzd9sen3ea46pyf0g50smqx2vwlkunmqz2ynqq806eur4w6xsyp3jxh

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Last Notes

2026-05-26 00:41:17 UTC

Name 3 accounts that should be an auto follow aside from Eugene and myself when you join Mastodon.
Or don't. I'm not the boss of you.
They don't have to be your favorite accounts. They can also be accounts that you think are useful.

2026-05-25 18:54:08 UTC

You ever see a short video of someone lip syncing to a song or some dialogue, but they can never seem to actually sync with it?
And then they post it anyway. With complete sincerity?
That's the level of IDGAF that I aspire to every day.

2026-05-23 19:43:20 UTC

MY girlfriend and her sister decided that the kitchen needed some deep cleaning and there is no way in hell I'm going down there and get in the middle of whatever whilrwind of chemicals they have flying around in the atmosphere.
My only regret is that I didn't bring any supplies upstairs. I wonder if UberEats will deliver upstairs?

2026-05-21 16:17:10 UTC

If you're more worried about the things you can't help with than you are about the things that you can, but choose to ignore, you might want to ask your self why that is.

2026-05-21 16:13:14 UTC

So now that it's the day after my birthday does that mean everything goes down hill from here?

2026-05-21 15:22:01 UTC

We made it to FRIDAY!!! WOO HOOO !!!
...what do you mean it's... DAMN IT!!!!
Happy Thursday. (stupid thursday)

2026-05-20 18:20:41 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt Funny story. I've actually met him a few times in the past. Really nice guy. A friend of mine was someone that he and Mory Povitch were trying to help lose weight back in the 90's. Richard would come over to her house to try to encourage her. No cameras. She had his personal phone number. He wasn't just doing it for the cameras. He genuinely cared.
It's too bad she was nuts. The last time I saw him he was walking out of her house shaking his head and saying "I can't help her.".

2026-05-20 18:14:00 UTC

Thinking of starting a gym but only using old 80's and 90's sold on tv gym equipment.
"As you see, we have a Bowflex to your left, a ThighMaster to your right, and if you're really ready for a work out, we've got your Abdominizer right here."

2026-05-20 17:07:15 UTC

If I am elected Mayor of Mastodon...
If it's your birthday everyone will have to boost your birthday wishes. If they don't, they will be put in a room with a tv showing their favorite shows, a box of their favorite cookies, and a weighted blanket until they remember what it means to be kind.
Thank you for your vote.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/607/991/843/818/205/original/5d30b984159d70a3.png

2026-05-20 16:13:01 UTC

Today is my birthday! For my birthday, would you please follow the following people? Just look at their profile and if you think they are worthy, give them a follow!
@nprofile…l6w9
@nprofile…yn6k
@nprofile…v4er
@nprofile…efqx
@nprofile…zvpa
@nprofile…qrdz
@nprofile…yshj
@nprofile…ryrt
@nprofile…u8z9
@nprofile…4zs6
@nprofile…aamq
@nprofile…q0gn
@nprofile…j87y
@nprofile…7vu9
@nprofile…nzcd
@nprofile…fl85
@nprofile…8t3t
That's just a short list. To get the big list just click on my profile and look at who I follow.
Please BOOST for the birthday Dude!!!

2026-05-19 16:27:27 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt I hope you are taking some time for yourself. Even if just a few minutes to center yourself.

2026-05-19 16:21:11 UTC

Slow day on the Fedi. You all have lives or something?

2026-05-19 15:31:20 UTC

The penis goes in the square hole!

2026-05-18 16:25:17 UTC

I used to be very vocal about people and things that I thought were doing harm. I would get on social media and bitch and moan with my righteous indignation.
Then two years ago (maybe three?) it all changed. I gained a new perspective that removed a lot of the anger and frustration I had with the world. It brought peace and a new understanding.
So now, when I'm on the Fedi, the only things I have to post about are the odd thoughts that pop in and out of my head.
And that feels like progress.

2026-05-18 15:22:38 UTC

You can't hide from Monday. But you sure as hell can try.

2026-05-17 01:41:29 UTC

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@nprofile…j87y it was really good! Great cinematography. Great story. Fantastic acting. All around good movie.

2026-05-16 22:58:39 UTC

About to watch "Project Hail Mary". I'll let you know if it's any good.

2026-05-16 15:11:05 UTC

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She didn't care about the snack. She just wanted to sleep on our bed. I'm not even sure if she cared that I was the one placing my hand on her?
So yeah, cat makes demands, you think it's all about you but nah, you're just a tool the cat uses to relax.
But it's okay. She's old. She's the queen. She can have whatever. If you're cat person, you know how it is. It's never about YOU. It's about what YOU can do for THEM.
🤷

2026-05-16 15:07:16 UTC

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My GF and I laugh at this and my girlfriend decides to give her a snack to see if that calms her down.
It did not.
She went back to the stairs and cried. When she realized she wasn't getting enough attention, she walked up to me, looked at me and gave a meow that I swear sounded like "what the fuck?".
A few minutes later, my friend leaves, I take the cat upstairs, it then curls up where she knows my hand can lay on her, and falls to sleep.
(p3)

2026-05-16 15:03:36 UTC

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... at about an hour after I would go up. My girlfriend thought this meant the cat wanted to be with me. So she would bring it upstairs.
I thought it just wanted it's snack that we always give it when she come up.
But yesterday, after several weeks of this routine, something different happened.
I was sitting downstairs talking to my friend who came by for a visit. It was well into the time that I usually went upstairs. Helen, (the cats name) walks over to the stairs and starts crying...
(p2)

2026-05-16 14:59:32 UTC

Just learned yesterday that I mean less to my cat than I thought I did.
Old cat can't climb stairs. So instead, we sometime bring it upstairs to sit with us on the bed while we watch whatever. We'd give her a little snack and she'd curl up next to me just close enough so that I can lay my hand on her while she purrs herself to sleep.
Then, before we go to sleep, we bring her back downstairs for the evening.
Well a couple of months ago she started crying at the foot of the stairs...
(p1)

2026-05-15 14:56:05 UTC

Morning showers are always a risk. If you know, you know.

2026-05-13 18:11:15 UTC

The tree trimmers outside sound like angry giant bees.
I'm glad there are no angry giant bees.

2026-05-13 15:16:27 UTC

I hope today that you find a moment of joy to get lost in, even if just for a few seconds.
I hope today that you make new friends that enrich your life as you enrich theirs.
I hope today that you find moments to practice kindness.
And most of all...
I hope today that you start believing in your resolute heart and find solace in it's compassion.

2026-05-12 18:55:11 UTC

The life you judge others by is the life that you wish you could lead, but don't, because of reasons.
Just like the people you judge.

2026-05-12 00:30:43 UTC

Dear every single person on the Fedi,
Hi. 👋

2026-05-07 16:38:03 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt I feel you. I 'm on a med that makes me so constipated that I have to drink a mild laxative everyday just so that I don't feel like my kidneys are being pushed through my back ribs. I'm not always in the best moods during those times.
I hope whatever it is you're taking that you don't have to take it long or your body adapts faster.

2026-05-07 16:33:17 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt 5 to 6 hours!?!?!
Enjoy those numbers while they last!

2026-05-07 16:27:15 UTC

People have been doing way too much peopling and it shows.

2026-05-07 16:16:48 UTC

There's no way I'd ever get on a cruise ship. I've said for years that they are floating petri dishes just waiting for an outbreak. I firmly believe that if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, it wont start in a lab somewhere. It'll be because Beaufort sneezed too hard on the buffet and the ship doctor fell overboard. It'll just steamroll from there.

2026-05-06 18:23:16 UTC

This Hoya Kerri that I got a few years ago from my girlfriend has just kept growing despite the fact that most die in just a few months after purchase.
Which just goes to show you that in the right light and with a little support, love can outlast expectations. https://mastodon.social/@Mrfunkedude/109864589917958442
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/529/023/527/329/430/original/79e82e43f347e20a.jpeg

2026-05-05 16:33:55 UTC

My loneliness is killing me.
I must confess, I still believe.
When I'm not posting, I lose my mind.
Give me a sign
Boost this post just one more time!

2026-05-05 14:58:14 UTC

Some doves have decided to nest near our condo and now every morning and throughout the day I'll hear them cooing.
I mean, it's not that bad, rather nice sometimes, but it does tend to get a bit... repetitive. Over and over and over the same coo.
Should be interesting to see what happens when the parrots come in from the south. Will they get along? Will the parrots copy their coo? Time will tell.

2026-05-04 20:27:12 UTC

May the 4th should be "Rebel Alliance day" and March 4th should be "Empire day".
#justsaying

2026-05-02 14:49:44 UTC

Hey everyone, just so you know, pictures of cats are out, and pictures of you screaming into the void are in.
Get with it Fedi.
(Extra points for pictures of cats screaming into the void.)

2026-05-02 05:02:50 UTC

You never read this post. 🫴🏼💵

2026-04-29 21:48:58 UTC

I wonder if people who wear these shoes have better bowel movements?
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/490/196/157/219/859/original/51e58f44d5efd7c9.jpeg
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/490/196/262/160/867/original/0b681bf058d1827d.jpeg

2026-04-29 15:52:20 UTC

As much as I love Lego's I still think they were invented by someone who hates feet.

2026-04-28 15:25:34 UTC

Guys look, all you have to do is stay in your home, don't watch the news, don't vote, don't volunteer your time, don't complain, don't try to buy a house, don't watch the wrong tv show, don't listen to the wrong singer, don't buy a burger from the wrong fast food place, don't use the wrong app or apps, don't say the wrong things and everything will be fine and you'll be happy..
How much simpler can it get?
#eyeroll #sarcasam #areyoufuckingkiddingme

2026-04-27 21:31:29 UTC

AI will continue to exist because people find utility in them and don't talk about it openly with others because of the perceived social stigma.
It's like porn.
Porn stats show that Utah watches a lot of it, but if you ask anyone who lives there, they don't view it because it's against god or whatever. Everyone watches it, but no one admits it. So porn thrives there.
And that's why AI wont die. Because people who say they hate it, use it.

2026-04-25 16:12:47 UTC

What's up chicken butts?
It's the WEEKEND!!!
Which means you get to work for your home using the money you got working your job!
YAY! MORE WORK!!!

2026-04-25 00:28:35 UTC

You ever get the feeling you missed your bus stop even though you’re not on a bus and there are no stops?

2026-04-24 15:48:23 UTC

Put it down. You don't need that.

2026-04-24 15:22:59 UTC

I've been running a #Jellyfin server (a media server) on my old laptop for almost a month now with no big issues. I've got it sitting on a small rolling desk I got from Temu in my bedroom. I turned off the lock screen, told it not to go to sleep, and it's just been quietly running with the lid down. Haven't even heard the fans go on,
The only time I open it is to update the system every few days or download media as needed.
Works very well. Like having my own private Netflix.

2026-04-23 15:14:24 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt I bet. But trust me, enjoy the mobility of your hands while you can.

2026-04-23 15:11:52 UTC

Morning? In this economy?

2026-04-21 15:25:53 UTC

I have 6 users on my little #PeerTube instance. (myself included)
Aside from myself only 2 people have made any videos since December when I created it.
I was afraid when I first opened it to registrations, that I would run out of storage space quickly, so I only gave each user 7 gigs to start with. (that's more then you think)
Now I'm realizing how other instances get away with saying their space is "unlimited". It isn't. They just know they'll need to add more storage when it gets full. 🤔

2026-04-20 15:11:57 UTC

Wake and bake! Happy 420 to everyone!

2026-04-15 21:41:58 UTC

An invitation…
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/410/896/082/360/869/original/dc1a0a181267f51b.mp4

2026-04-15 14:49:54 UTC

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2026-04-14 22:20:16 UTC

That moment of sadness when you fart in the middle of a crowd of people and nobody notices.

2026-04-14 15:28:10 UTC

Last night I had the opportunity to get upset over something someone close to me said.
I felt my ego rise, and recognized it. "There you are ego." I said to myself. "You're going to be okay. This will pass."
And as I felt it rise, I watched it and gave comfort. "This wont last long." I thought. "Watch it, and let it go." I reminded my ego.
And over a few minutes, I felt calm. I recognized the intent of the other person, looking past their words, and I practiced empathy.
Be kind to yourself.

2026-04-13 23:33:26 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt Not to be “that guy“ but I bet all that would make a great video.

2026-04-13 23:27:44 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt You'll be all in a buzz about it!

2026-04-11 20:43:30 UTC

Yes I will edit a typo in an old post. No I don't care if it means a bunch of people will get notifications for an edit that they most likely didn't notice and will continue to not notice and just end up wondering what the fuck changed?
I don't fix them for you.

2026-04-11 14:37:59 UTC

My friend got a liver!!!
They transplanted it last week and they finally let him out of the hospital yesterday. The hospital was out of state so he had to drive 6 hours once he got the call.
It was a LOT harder on him than he imagined it would be. He's got his wife with him to take care of him. They'll be living in a hotel nearby for the next 5 to 7 weeks going to multiple doctors appointments everyday until he gets cleared to return to his home.
Science is amazing.

2026-04-10 20:43:28 UTC

This weekend is a cookie weekend. So if you come in contact with any cookies, you are obligated to eat them if appropriate.
Sorry. I don't make the rules. 🍪

2026-04-10 15:53:50 UTC

Telling my kids that this was the first generative AI.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/381/206/241/591/243/original/b496cdec90a2cc84.png

2026-04-10 01:00:33 UTC

Did you read this right?

2026-04-09 21:09:41 UTC

Just got thru talking to health insurance for over an hour and now I have this overwhelming feeling that I need to take a shower.

2026-04-06 20:56:36 UTC

Do yourself a favor. Follow the #today tag.
In it you'll find people talking about their lives. How tall their grass is growing. How long its been since they've seen a loved one. How worried they are about their plumbing.
It's where we can remember the joy and sorrow of shared experiences together.

2026-04-06 15:28:36 UTC

Starting to feel like I'm being taken for granted here.
Nice.

2026-04-06 14:17:06 UTC

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@nprofile…4zs6 It's because in-fighting has become so normalized that if you're not constantly fighting with an opposition you're viewed as an "echo chamber" when in truth people may have different opinions but choose not to voice them in order to maintain community stability and to not upset people.
You know, the way people used to actually live their lives.

2026-04-05 18:36:37 UTC

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@nprofile…rtl5 what Nintendo logo are you talking about?

2026-04-04 23:21:23 UTC

You ever wonder how you can keep driving around in circles and be out of gas at the same time?

2026-04-04 21:09:10 UTC

I wonder what the most favorited post on Mastodon is?

2026-04-04 01:58:45 UTC

Remembering the time of the "Great Burn". When many a CD found their homes in plastic weaved holders found clinging to sunvisors or in the backseat of people’s cars.

2026-04-03 20:19:07 UTC

Life was bad, but thanks to "The Hokey Pokey", I was able to turn myself around.

2026-04-01 21:29:14 UTC

You ever wonder if trees are just waiting for their moment to attack?

2026-04-01 15:51:56 UTC

April fools?
You think I'm just a fool in April?
Amateur.

2026-03-31 19:40:35 UTC

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@nprofile…8udl just to clarify, are you talking about the PeerTube app or instances in general?
Because if you're talking about the PeerTube app, then yeah, I feel you. They had a good idea, which was to give people a way to follow their favorite Peertube accounts without having to join an instance, but their execution was just horrible.
If that's not what you're talking about then I have no clue.

2026-03-30 15:26:12 UTC

Check out @nprofile…ryrt and his beautiful garden as he gives us a nice tour.
https://dudelike.wtf/w/uNHG7jUT79L9ZuyaJyy8dW
#Peertube

2026-03-30 14:49:02 UTC

I wish I had whatever my cat takes when it stares at a wall for an hour in complete peace.

2026-03-29 16:14:59 UTC

🎺 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
If a post doesn't apply to you, there is no need to tell the poster that it doesn't apply to you. No one cares. They aren't keeping a list of who it doesn't apply to.
If someone posts "Buckle up when you drive" and you don't drive... you don't need to reply.
If someone says "Bake the bread at 375f" and you don't bake... you don't need to reply.
Follow this simple rule and you can help make the Fedi a better place for everyone!
Thank you.

2026-03-28 16:08:44 UTC

Girfriend is going to the "No Kings" march today. Arthritis keeps me from attending these things otherwise I'd go along with her.
I hope that if you are attending that you keep safe and let your voice be heard!

2026-03-25 15:15:21 UTC

I was not expecting Afroman to be this years best fight against police tyranny.
https://youtu.be/9xxK5yyecRo?si=AWW7t0i7FVfZopN0

2026-03-24 17:32:04 UTC

Name a bad Bill Withers song. I dare you.
https://youtu.be/NuYDKzky4z0?si=KHztQpcG66jHVGwb

2026-03-24 15:58:49 UTC

So what happened to mstdn.ca ???

2026-03-24 14:00:40 UTC

Everyone. What’s going on in Florida?
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/284/505/627/329/378/original/5fe775f96fb5c606.jpeg

2026-03-23 03:32:04 UTC

If you don't boost the posts we can't have any Fedi!
HOW CAN WE HAVE ANY FEDI IF YOU DON'T BOOST THE POSTS?!?!
🐖🪽

2026-03-22 03:07:41 UTC

Ask me something and I’ll give you an answer.
AN answer.

2026-03-21 23:19:44 UTC

If you’re tired of feeling like there’s nothing that you can do to help make the world a better place besides voting, I’m here to tell you that there is…
Volunteer.
Food banks, soup kitchens, senior centers, blood banks, animal shelters, and more. Find a place where you can be in the service of others. Where you can give back to the community that you live in.
It’s a great way to get out of your own head. Serve others, and serve the better parts of yourself in return

2026-03-21 23:14:11 UTC

Compassion has no enemies.

2026-03-21 16:37:17 UTC

OMG that anti essential tremor medication I took for the first time yesterday was AMAZING.
My hands were steady enough that I finished a game where before every time things got serious my hands would start shaking. I could bring food to my mouth without dropping it. I was even able to print for the first time in almost 6 months!
Science is amazing. Someone should look into funding it.

2026-03-21 16:16:46 UTC

I may be up but I refuse to be awake.

2026-03-20 23:44:43 UTC

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@nprofile…j87y The first dosage has been amazing so far. I haven’t had any tremors all day. I’ve been able to play games that I’ve been struggling with for the last year. And I can even bring food to my mouth without dropping it.
So far the only side effect has been a little bit of dizziness and feeling tired. But they say those should go away after a few weeks.
🤞

2026-03-20 17:35:45 UTC

Took my new anti tremor medicine for the first time before bed last night. I usually wake up at least 3 times to use the bathroom but last night I can only remember going twice. I also woke up an hour later than I usually do. So I guess I see why they want me to take it before bed.
I haven't noticed any tremors yet. We'll see as the day progresses.

2026-03-19 20:59:49 UTC

This is my first time making monkey bread. It taste divine!
#Food #Baking
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/257/848/473/083/917/original/24cd83cc9a5117aa.jpeg
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/257/848/609/645/219/original/bd4f6a9cf58d7545.jpeg

2026-03-19 15:34:22 UTC

I wish congress went over the Epstein files like all of the nerds do with the new Spider-Man trailer. 🙄

2026-03-10 16:58:35 UTC

Just discovered that the "butterfly" isn't accurately named.
I will not be taking questions.

2026-03-09 23:51:06 UTC

Love doesn't break your heart. Only the feeling of its loss.

2026-03-09 19:12:08 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt Hope you're enjoying the day off!

2026-03-09 16:13:33 UTC

Just thought you should all know that I'm wearing brand new sweat pants today.
Go ahead, be jealous of the softness. It's okay. I'll understand.

2026-03-04 19:36:36 UTC

I've been noticing the rise of simulation games over the last few years. And I'm not talking your shooting sims. I'm talking...
Truck driver.
Cab driver.
Restaurant owner.
Surgeon.
Ambulance driver.
Car wash owner.
Fair grounds owner.
Theme park owner.
Pet owner.
Power washer
...and probably a ton more that aren't coming to mind right now.
I wonder what it says about our world right now?

2026-03-04 16:13:41 UTC

Wow. I actually slept well last night!?!?! How in the hell did that happen and how do I repeat it???

2026-03-03 20:56:36 UTC

For anyone that's wondering, my love language is "BOOSTS".

2026-03-02 15:18:41 UTC

Got some writing to do today for a new blog post and eventually a video that I want to make this week. I've just started the writing. I only have the beginning, but I know where I want it to go, so it should be fun trying to get there.

2026-02-28 14:53:20 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/148/819/425/912/268/original/334c9fcefa46356a.mp4

2026-02-28 14:48:05 UTC

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@nprofile…ryrt If I'm lucky I'll catch a 20 minute nap.

2026-02-28 14:33:12 UTC

Did not sleep well.
Today, I nap when I can.
That is all.