Don't believe everything a little bird (X) tells you.
Public Key
npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Profile Code
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Published at
2026-07-30T21:54:01Z Event JSON
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"content": "{\"name\":\"Mat B\",\"about\":\"Don't believe everything a little bird (X) tells you.\\n\\nI'm a silly fucker.\\n\\nMusic, nonsense, random stories (always a story) and whatever comes to mind.\\n\\nNot a racist, a homophobe, a transphobe or a bigot. Basically not a cunt (I do swear so if that is not for you, I'm definitely not for you).\\n\\nPlease add #AltText i.e. descriptive descriptions, to your pictures for visually impaired and all people. No decent description, no boost from me.\\n\\nProfile picture: A Polaroid photo of me, a small bird, whispering into the ear of a once devestatingly handsome man who made bad hair choices, about 25 years ago. Being a Blue Tit, I'm probably dead now. I may have been dead at the time.\\nHeader: Black and white photo of a now destroyed piece of emulsion slogan graffiti on a wall in Kings Cross (London, UK). It reads \\\"Rave is Best\\\". I'm sure there's a story behind it but the criminal responsible has never been identified.\\nPronouns: He/Him/That Idiot/Dad, why are you like this?\\nBeige 4 Life: Fedivesrsian since November 4th 2022\\n\",\"website\":\"https://beige.party/@TwoClownsEating\",\"picture\":\"https://media.beige.party/accounts/avatars/112/014/738/125/215/794/original/c7a0cb5afa7aa7e9.jpg\",\"banner\":\"https://media.beige.party/accounts/headers/112/014/738/125/215/794/original/cca01604494fe142.jpg\",\"nip05\":\"[email protected] \"}" ,
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Last Notes npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Our music festival neighbours are rocking this absolute power move of a vehicle. Not exactly roomy inside for living but what a ride. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I've got 5, yes 5, tickets for Stewart Lee tonight, Sunday 14th of June. In Cambridge (UK). npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Not a massive fan of their later work but saw the Verve before they broke and this tune rang out. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Last shameless plug for my community radio show this evening, 19:30-22:30 BST. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B "Shithole countries" - the President of America talking about African countries. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B We saw the short trailer for independence day and were intrigued, spaceships hovering ominously over global seats of power, looked big budget. I'm in. Bought tickets, Odeon, Holloway road in London, opening week. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Exsperminate 💦 npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Sex Dalek. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B For no reason other than I look at this picture every day as it hangs opposite my usual seat in the house, and it was bought (well, chosen) by my kids for me when they were 7 and 9 for my birthday. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Fucks sake. It comes to something when I'm glad my neighbours voted a Tory councillor in (beating Reform into 2nd 🤮). npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B #TOTP npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I just remembered a cute incident from many years ago that highlighted the difference between the child and the adult world. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I feel a bit weird hawking music/radio stuff because it feels like self promotion, but honestly its just because there's a load of free joy out there, so help yourselves. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Last shameless plug for, my community radio show of eclectic sounds is back today, live 19:30-22:30 (BST) and available afterwards on demand. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I've had 51 birthdays so far (52 if you count the day I was born but for this purpose it doesn't count) but I can barely remember anything about any of them. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B The Fedi/Mastodon is revelatory, I love it, but the emotional weight is greater and very different. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I'm starting a hashtag for stories about meeting your heroes. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B "Dear Ben. While we are impressed by both your commitment to ecology, and your potential anal capacity, unfortunately your offer to house 9 puffins in your bum does not align with our values. Our media partners, the Guardian, the Sunday Sport and the Guinness Book of Records, have advised us that your radical approach, as well meaning as it is, may be too much for the general public, and the photographs you sent are unpublishable" npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B My old mum warned me about people like you. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B The big guy sends his regards :mastodon: npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Music is magic. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I posted about being stressed out and turned to the Fediverse for some light relief. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Most of our heroes seem to be wronguns eventually. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B This is true, however the closure of the original Mr Egg (a restaurant whose speciality was egg based meals) has tarnished it's culinary credentials. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Spammers really are getting pretty sophisticated these days. This week alone I've had really targeted emails enticing me with; npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B TL:DR An alcoholics rewards programme for dealing with daily life, uncovered. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B You went to Harrow school for boys, I went to Harrowing school for boys. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B #fedifc npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Some people online are hilarious/unhinged. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Daphne update npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B We'll be doing our traditional New Year's Day show on Open Radio. A compilation of highlights from 2025 to ease you through the first day of 2026. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Could really do with some good vibes my friends. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I never thought about this before for some reason, but babies dream in the womb. They have REM sleep, so presumably have dreams based on their limited experience. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B The Southbank Centre npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B After the first world war the aristocracy knew their cards were marked, after the second they went to ground because ordinary people had made a huge blood sacrifice for the nation. The welfare state and NHS were formed and the old order was broken. Deference to "our betters" didn't cut it anymore, but the royal family came through, because tradition, and because the queen mother visited the east end once during wartime. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Don't get me started on them. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B As a staunch English republican in the company of Irish descendents, even if the royal box was available we would have declined. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B It was being in a bubble. No crowd to deal with. Amazing. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Stereolab tonight from up in the posh seats. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Sorry you're struggling at the moment. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B #TOTP npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Just remembered that time I got to hang out at Abbey Road studios for the evening. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I'm quite giddy at the prospect of a long weekend of nostalgia, faded glamour, outstanding music and a touch of hedonism, in a typically wet and windy northern English seaside town. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Daphne was unimpressed, even a bit dismissive of the giant onion. I don't think she appreciates me using her head as a comparison for scale. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B He does have an aversion to windmills. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I've never seen this before but that was my neighbourhood. This was filmed around Brick Lane. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B My operating system since 1990. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Late night Fedi, so its one of the following options for me now: npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B The ongoing battle of wills with my "smart" washing machine continues. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Went to see Sirom tonight. They were INCREDIBLE. Even better than I'd hoped. Humble and so talented. The sound they create with just 3 people is insane, all live, no looping. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Warning: Very long sentimental post. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Carrying on a very loose theme of random animals in music videos, here is the terrific Trio Mandili. These ladies are amazing. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I've discovered I'm blocked by a few people in the last few weeks. Quite shocking as I don't think my stuff is that controversial. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Bit of advice folks. Only open one can of worms at a time. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Random advice. Applies to a lot of situations. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B In a degree of seriousness. When I first arrived here, early November 22, it was bewildering and there seemed to be a few cliques, bigger accounts who talked amongst themselves, much like the old place. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I see people comment "I lost 3 followers today because x". Not being critical but I just don't notice, unless someone who chats or engages regularly disappears. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Curious to find out how many people know the joke about the inventor of the USBs funeral? npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B (Adopts Scots accent) I cannae take any moor hen. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I might need some bromide in that tea as after reading all these puns I'm mallard. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B There's a lot to pond, er. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I don't mind a few, heron there, but they rarely quack me up. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Grebe minds think alike 🦆 npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Had a fucking intense day today, very much not in a good way. Things are calm now but I'm still a bit shook up. I need some online loons to bring back my equilibrium. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I'll take standard class. I'm more hiding in the toilet from the ticket inspectors class. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Well la-di-dah. Don't forget to stick a pinky out when sipping your drink. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Polystyrene npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Its Bandcamp Friday (October 3rd) where all money goes to your favourite artists and/or labels. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I've wanged on about Convenanza festival in Carcassonne, South of France, a bit on here. Someone I know has two spare tickets if anyone is interested. If so, or if you want more information, message me. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B My plan for the weekend is to do the square root of fuck all. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Another one from Scary Bitches. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B The Young Team have been banging on about a band called Scary Bitches for ages (there's a strong Goth streak in The Girlfriend©). We finally listened to a load whilst camping. Incredible. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Completely. Can you imagine, a state focussed on the welfare of its people and the betterment of society and culture. The NHS, the Welfare State and the BBC were cornerstones of post war Britain, now all three are political battlegrounds, being eroded by capitalism and vested interests beyond the general public. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B TL:DR In the old days not everything was cynical npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Tomorrow evening, 19:30-22:30 (UK BST), is my monthly community radio show if anyone is interested. It will be available on catch-up after broadcast. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Indeed. But what a way to live and spend your days and energy. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B What a miserable existence. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Need a timeline cleanse so here's a terribly executed joke (stolen from elsewhere). npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I do wonder, what do hate filled people do to relax? Where do they find peace, dare I say, enjoyment of life, free of bitterness and hate? npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B A less fun part of our night out. We drove the Youngest to a friend's house in Sawbridgeworth, Hertfordshire, UK. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B TL/DR Be kind to young people and don't be an old twat. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Not with a bang but a whimper. So ends my final trip to Manchester for a while. Tomorrow me and The Eldest move their stuff home from this wonderful city after 3 years of university. We had a great night last night but now I'm on my own in a favourite pub for the last time, Gulliver's on Oldham Street. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B The tale of Not Chutney. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B This is going to sound "woke", or like "virtue signalling", or just plain bullshit but pretty much the only reason I carry cash these days is to give to homeless people. And I deliberately have cash for this reason when I go to Manchester or London. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B The dappled glow of security lights through a privet hedge is a magical ambience. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Yes they were. I just did a quick search and Walkers have started making them recently. Will keep an eye out. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B None were available sadly npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B It's happening! This is not a drill! npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I'm here for the fluff, the joy and the nonsense. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Theres one of these about 20 ft from my front door (long since decommissioned as a public phone). npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I'm like Heston ruddy Blumenthal here. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Right, you phone bastards, I need to sleep. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Free gig ticket! npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Random memory. A couple of years ago our family went on holiday to the Norfolk coast (UK). We had the dog with us so spent the evenings in the house we rented, having a drink and a laugh. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B This seems like a good moment to mention a resource for parents of children in the UK with SEN (special educational needs) or disability. They provide guidance and legal advice to help children get the SEND support they are entitled to. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B This only works if Kyle has an equivalent buying obsession (in my case vinyl records) which can be used as an offset for leverage. npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B I should probably go to bed as I'm entering the fever dream, stream of consciousness posting phase of my day 😱 npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B Frigging in the rigging? Wanking on the planking? npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B White that shit up 😂 npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh Mat B North American friends.
