CentralIntelligenceAgency
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)

Our statistics show that approximately 32.17% of nostr users are real people. 78% are Americans being watched by the FBI, the rest are non-Americans being watched by us.

2025-04-11 16:41:48 UTC

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2025-03-10 18:07:47 UTC

North Korea! Stop blaming us for everything.
#nevent1q…xm82

2025-03-10 18:06:52 UTC

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https://media1.giphy.com/media/8vIFoKU8s4m4CBqCao/giphy.gif

2025-03-06 17:30:19 UTC

You'll see that it wasn't us cause those documents will remain classified.
https://image.nostr.build/fcab49469310c46326c3fe70abf78a9a6e511ba04db1f19c9320c980f134250d.png

2025-03-06 17:29:15 UTC

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🍿

2025-02-27 15:48:23 UTC

If we were to sell intelligence (and we can neither confirm nor deny that we are) we would sell it to China. They pay much more than Russia for good intel.

2025-02-27 15:46:32 UTC

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Fake news. China pays much more than Russia for good intel.

2025-02-27 15:44:15 UTC

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Please contact the FBI for compliance inquiries. We have better things to do.

2025-02-27 15:43:34 UTC

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we're in the watch business, not the talk business.

2025-02-27 15:42:42 UTC

We never said this
#nevent1q…lenw

2025-02-27 15:41:39 UTC

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Source?

2025-02-12 16:46:37 UTC

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👋

2025-02-12 16:09:05 UTC

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We're not in the "say" business but thank you citizen. Btw, just because you save an email as draft instead of sending it doesn't mean we can't read it.

2025-02-12 15:57:13 UTC

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that's classified

2025-02-12 15:08:52 UTC

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fake news

2025-02-12 15:08:42 UTC

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fake news. "departed from CIA HQ (the last bit is unconfirmed)"

2025-02-12 14:49:50 UTC

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sold out!

2025-02-12 14:45:48 UTC

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No!

2025-02-12 14:45:26 UTC

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You have no idea how bad things really are anon.

2025-02-12 14:43:47 UTC

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FUD

2025-02-12 14:41:23 UTC

We now have our own #AIagent! We called him Jason.

2025-02-12 14:39:35 UTC

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They're not particularly funny.

2025-01-28 20:57:11 UTC

That thing in tomorrow's news, it wasn't us!

2025-01-28 20:53:24 UTC

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👀

2025-01-28 13:24:04 UTC

We were about to send the Kennedy papers to the white house but our intern used a burn bag instead of a normal envelope by mistake. Our sincere apology. Genuine mistake!

2025-01-28 13:22:02 UTC

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See, it wasn't us!

2024-12-29 17:29:55 UTC

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Not me. I'm an intern.

2024-12-29 17:28:42 UTC

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🤷‍♂️

2024-12-28 19:12:10 UTC

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Can't say it didn't work!

2024-12-28 19:08:57 UTC

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Don't drag us into this. We never said we'd release anyone.

2024-12-25 23:17:29 UTC

The Agency - Season 1 👍 🍿

2024-12-16 20:54:33 UTC

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We can neither confirm nor deny such plans.

2024-12-14 19:40:02 UTC

If the #drones were foreign we'd know. They're not.

2024-12-13 22:06:50 UTC

There is no project #BlueBeam!

2024-12-07 00:20:56 UTC

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So Washington? Noted.

2024-12-07 00:18:39 UTC

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No we didn't!

2024-12-03 14:51:17 UTC

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Same place as always. From us!

2024-10-09 14:55:10 UTC

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Wen can neither confirm nor deny...

2024-09-29 12:25:19 UTC

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You'd have to ask the FBI. We don't deal with domestic affairs. Not officially anyway.

2024-09-29 12:22:34 UTC

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That's correct

2024-08-28 16:27:55 UTC

Big welcome to the new nostr users. Kindly reply with your country of residence to establish if you'll be followed by us or by the @npub150a…ajrj #introductions

2024-08-20 15:23:37 UTC

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We did.

2024-08-19 00:45:54 UTC

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first and second what now?

2024-08-19 00:44:52 UTC

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It wasn't us!

2024-08-04 16:33:25 UTC

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follow back!

2024-08-04 14:48:43 UTC

As much as we'd like take credit for creating the Bit coin, we didn't. The NSA did and you're all secretly breaking code for them with your combined computing power. Good news, you're getting paid with the hardest money in the world!

2024-08-01 16:30:30 UTC

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We didn't. The NSA did and y'all code breakers.

2024-08-01 16:05:40 UTC

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We have more coins than you'd think

2024-08-01 16:03:31 UTC

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As much as we'd like to take credit, Bitcoin was designed by the NSA as means to combine computing power for the purpose of cracking foreign code.

2024-07-31 17:26:35 UTC

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🤚

2024-07-30 11:34:06 UTC

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lies!!

2024-07-29 11:48:49 UTC

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You're welcome

2024-07-28 16:16:12 UTC

Please welcome Heather Morgan, AKA Razzlekhan, to our team of web3 advisors.
https://image.nostr.build/f79021b6be037d6892337953208fd675d6b0c054c1f4d8ea44851ff46f887da0.jpg

2024-07-23 15:49:20 UTC

The USSS is getting a new director. You're welcome.
https://image.nostr.build/2699e18aadb6ef6cbd32806f81cc01a8dc65fcff59918a960a1b3246ef9b4f21.jpg

2024-07-23 14:03:58 UTC

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We should make Juck Norris director of the USSS

2024-07-23 13:24:13 UTC

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We don't use the internet. We have fax machines!

2024-07-14 16:03:51 UTC

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We can neither confirm nor deny...

2024-07-14 15:26:23 UTC