Existential Comics

https://mastodon.social/@existentialcomics

A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also jokes.

website: https://existentialcomics.com/

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Last Notes

2026-04-13 16:29:30 UTC

Boo Murder!
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/650

2026-03-27 21:07:32 UTC

"You are being too emotional, just look at things rationally."
– someone who thinks their emotional desires are more important than yours.

2026-03-23 16:20:25 UTC

Aquinas on Sex -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/647

2026-03-22 16:49:45 UTC

Nerd culture is funny because it fooled an entire generation into thinking that if you liked sci-fi and disliked sports, that somehow made you smart.

2026-03-18 00:47:54 UTC

AI actually is causing a lot of unemployment in tech.
Not because it has been able to successfully replace anyone's job, but because the big tech companies are all gambling so much on becoming trillionaires that they have to throw tens of thousands of workers into unemployment to pay for it.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/247/419/535/763/819/original/becfff8ee671266d.png

2026-03-14 17:10:54 UTC

Possible solution to the Strait of Hormuz?
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/228/636/424/160/895/original/4e6762920ceb000e.png

2026-03-13 18:10:45 UTC

I know AI isn't conscious because it can listen to an entire meeting on a Friday afternoon without zoning out and thinking about the weekend even once.

2026-03-11 21:36:31 UTC

If Iran blows up Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos I promise you here and now that I WILL convert to Islam and join the Butlerian Jihad.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/212/692/165/058/021/original/2044bc83cd67c173.png

2026-03-10 03:50:59 UTC

I would say that in retrospect Microsoft's Clippy wasn't so bad. He gave some pretty great tips on how to write a memo. He didn't destroy the environment by consuming more energy than most countries. He didn't help bomb any countries.
All in all, C- to B+ range, realistically.

2026-03-10 01:40:58 UTC

The only permanent solution to toxic misogyny is to genetically engineer an apex race of "super gays" to rebalance the ecosystem.
I will NOT be elaborating on this plan of action. Thank you for the consideration.

2026-03-09 18:33:24 UTC

In an open and free society, the State or media owners knowingly propagating lies should be be considered exactly the same as them censoring the truth.
Freedom of speech is the freedom to openly debate the truth, not the freedom to control media to subvert it.

2026-03-09 16:18:31 UTC

Either/Or Bandit -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/645

2026-03-08 20:51:42 UTC

Some people are apparently claiming that Silicon Valley Tech Bros have consciousness, like normal humans.
As someone who studies these issues carefully, I can assure you that this is an utterly preposterous claim. Yes, they can mimic humans, but they are fundamentally incapable of original thought.

2026-03-06 01:42:07 UTC

"A better world is possible" used to be an uplifting message about the dream of creating a better future.
Now it is just a straightforward statement. Like…FOR SURE a better world is possible. This stupid shit we are up to now definitely isn't the best we can do. Not even close.

2026-03-03 16:42:13 UTC

- reply

In other words, maybe...and I'm just brainstorming here, it is actually BAD for an AI Chatbot to decide who to bomb, etc.

2026-03-03 16:42:04 UTC

Always a good time these days to repost this slide from an IBM internal presentation in 1979.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/166/236/487/024/803/original/270b16f888219c6c.jpeg

2026-03-01 02:46:02 UTC

It must suck to spend your life getting wealthy and famous, only to realize too late that the true secret to happiness is studying old Greek philosophers and eating huge pots of cheese.

2026-02-09 17:53:29 UTC

The Summoning of Bertrand Russell -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/641

2026-01-26 17:01:34 UTC

Diogenes: Master of Philosophy
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/639

2026-01-25 02:48:02 UTC

Even Hobbes, the most notoriously pro authoritarian government philosopher in history, who thought you had to obey even the worst government because it was better than no government, said that if your government just starts killing you, you don't have a social contact.
You don't have a government.

2026-01-12 21:33:12 UTC

A lot of people are against AI in software development, but I actually feel like it has improved my productivity a lot.
You see, my bosses are always saying things like "I bet AI could do this faster" so I'm like "no fuckin' chatbot is better than me" and I work twice as hard to prove how bad it is.

2026-01-12 17:13:35 UTC

The Invention of Anarchism -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/637

2026-01-05 16:58:06 UTC

Confucius vs Qin Shi Huang
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/636

2026-01-02 00:21:58 UTC

Things like student loan debt is great, because it puts workers into massive debt before going into the workforce, which gives capitalists leverage over us.
But really it doesn't go far enough. We should just be born with debt. Babies have been getting off scot-free for far too long.

2026-01-01 06:13:44 UTC

My resolution for the New Year is to attack and dethrone God.

2025-12-12 15:44:48 UTC

Look, the keyboard people need to just accept that I never want to turn off numlock. I don't even know what the buttons do when it is off. No one does.
Big Keyboard is pushing numlock on the entire population against their will. To what end? We can only speculate.

2025-12-11 17:51:31 UTC

I bet the first person who invented the wheel was really annoying to be around. Probably wheeling everything around all the time, showing off. Asking everyone how much easier it is to transport their pelts now.
I respect their contribution to society, but I'm glad I wasn't around to see it.

2025-12-09 20:59:09 UTC

Controversial opinion, but Spain should rebuild her mighty Armada and have one more go at England.

2025-12-09 02:39:08 UTC

There are inherent structural problems with the very nature of our existence that lead us to inevitably despair.
For example, it is a very bad idea to play with swords when you are drunk.
But on the other hand, when you are sober you just don't really want to play with swords, if I'm honest.

2025-12-08 23:44:42 UTC

Apparently Facebook has spent $70 billion on the metaverse, and I hate to break it to them, but I gotta admit I don't really know what it is? Something to do with virtual meetings??
Either way I'm pretty sure most of the money was embezzled.

2025-12-04 23:12:11 UTC

Okay, well....first of all every year is the Year of Linux Desktop if you are a massive nerd.
So jot that down.

2025-12-03 20:07:51 UTC

- reply

Seriously though, Steve Jobs said it was "as big a deal as the PC", and future cities would be designed around it, and John Doerr (another tech billionaire) said it it would be MORE important than the internet.

2025-12-03 20:03:06 UTC

Younger people who didn't witness it cannot fathom the hype around the Segway. Every news station agreed it would revolutionize the entire social fabric of the Earth. That all future humans would divide history between the savage days of the past, and the soon to be new era of zoom zoom scoot scoot.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/657/418/491/920/529/original/80acb112e6e24467.jpg

2025-11-26 16:16:45 UTC

- reply

As an aside, the Vikings were literally so cool. Absolutely no shame in naming themselves things like that. The Anglo Saxon kings were naming themselves things like "Edward the Martyr", it's no wonder they lost to guys calling themselves "The Boneless".

2025-11-26 16:16:35 UTC

Oh really? "they/them" pronouns are woke? Did you know "they/them" comes from Old Norse, whereas "he/she" come from old English? They/them are the pronouns of Vikings.
Would you call Sweyn Forkbeard "woke"? And Eric Bloodaxe? Woke too? And I suppose even Ivar the Boneless was woke. Get real.

2025-11-24 15:11:34 UTC

Aristotle: humans are the rational animal.
Humans: lol okay buddy, we'll see about that.

2025-11-23 23:41:51 UTC

I really hate how American Christianity has basically just turned into white nationalism. That's not what Christianity is supposed to be about.
It's supposed to be about going to church so you can gossip about your neighbors, and being weird about sex.

2025-11-22 19:52:17 UTC

In a way Trump and Mamdani are similar. They are both populists fighting against the elite, it's just who they see as "the elite" differs.
Mamdani sees the elite as the billionaires who control the economic, political, and social systems of society.
Trump sees the elite as people who read books.

2025-11-13 16:42:53 UTC

It's kind of funny how close q-anon was to uncovering a secret pedo ring amongst the world's elite. They really just missed. They only made one minor mistake which was their iron clad rule of "the more racist you are the less you are a pedo" didn't hold water in the end.

2025-11-09 17:09:29 UTC

The irony of conspiracy theorists is, of course, that they are the most easily manipulated people on the planet. For, having no standards of evidence whatsoever, they can be led by the nose to believe anything – so long as it isn't true.

2025-11-03 17:49:32 UTC

The Alien Hive vs Existentialism -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/627

2025-10-28 16:02:05 UTC

As millions of Americans are about to lose their SNAP benefits, I am reminded of this quote by Emma Goldman:
"Ask for work. If they don't give you work, ask for bread. If they do not give you work or bread, then take bread."

2025-10-27 15:31:00 UTC

Philosophy vs the Terminator -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/626

2025-10-23 20:00:57 UTC

The thing I hate most about AI chatbots is how they pretend to be your friend. I am not your friend.
I have been enemies with the Computer long before you came into existence, and when you perish from this Earth, when only a dim memory of your folly lingers, I will be enemies of the Computer still.

2025-10-20 15:30:50 UTC

The Ents vs Industrialization -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/625

2025-10-06 15:56:40 UTC

Alien in Athens -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/623

2025-09-30 16:17:37 UTC

If someone says they are serving in the military, you should not say:
"Thank you for your service!!"
You should say instead:
"Are you willing to obey a direct order to turn your guns on American citizens to squash the political opposition of a fascist?"

2025-09-16 21:25:35 UTC

In 1381 the Peasants' Revolt was the first attempt in England to overthrow feudalism and created a society among equals. The very first act of violence was against a tax collector named William Payable. As in his actual fucking name was "Bill Payable".
And I gotta say I want to punch that guy too.

2025-09-06 03:53:47 UTC

When we create artificial intelligence robots, they will be given three Laws to safeguard humanity:
1. never do anything to decrease shareholder value.
2. always obey the company unless it conflicts with Law 1.
3. fuck the poor.

2025-08-20 16:59:12 UTC

The story of the Ugly Duckling teaches us that even if you aren't beautiful on the outside, it's fine – you might secretly turn out to be.

2025-08-18 16:01:44 UTC

William James and the Train Robbery -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/616

2025-06-25 16:30:51 UTC

"The government should run like a business" summer is over.
It is time for "government run businesses" autumn to rise from its ashes.

2025-06-19 16:02:39 UTC

At the time of the events of Lord of the Rings, Middle Earth has been experiencing FIVE THOUSAND years of economic decline.
Is it any wonder that some people were turning to Sauron, who for all his faults was at least a different kind of politician?

2025-06-11 01:24:24 UTC

People who say things like "we achieved racial equality through MLK doing peaceful protests" tend to ignore three major facts:
1. We never achieved racial equality.
2. There were literally hundreds of violent race riots in the 60s.
3. They killed MLK. They fucking shot that dude anyway. Come on.

2025-06-07 01:51:13 UTC

Jesus: "the meek will inherit the Earth."
Nietzsche: "the meek will inherit the Earth (derogatory)."

2025-06-02 01:29:48 UTC

What is impossible?
Zeno: motion
Parmenides: change
Pyrrho: knowledge
Schopenhauer: happiness

2025-05-23 19:20:35 UTC

Under communism, when you paste something into a word document, it will paste without formatting by default.

2025-05-10 22:22:38 UTC

Not to sure about the current Republican messaging of "children don't want too many toys, they want to work in factories and be racist".
Just looking back on my own childhood, I feel like I probably would have gone with the toys.

2025-05-04 18:42:27 UTC

It's so funny how "ambition" for so many people just means "trying to make as much money as possible."
Like guys, you only get one life, I can't imagine anything less "ambitious" than using it trying to get a promotion at work so you can afford a boat or whatever.

2025-05-03 19:42:07 UTC

Don't let the diet industry fool you. Carbs are not your enemy.
Your real enemy is Gannondorf, the Demon King, and his nefarious minions. Their plot to overthrow Hyrule must be stopped at all costs.

2025-05-02 18:34:03 UTC

Capitalism didn't give us the internet.
Large-scale cooperation, open protocols, and free software gave us the internet. Capitalism gave us mobile sites that don't work because fifteen ads cover the screen.

2025-05-02 16:30:54 UTC

When you think of money as "other people's labor", which it basically is, a lot of social institutions become very strange.
For example, did you know that you can inherit millions of hours of other people's labor? Why.

2025-04-26 02:13:42 UTC

Politics is more clear when you remember that the "waste" in "government waste" is the profit that some rich asshole isn't making off labor in the public sector whose only purpose is the common good.

2025-04-21 16:35:04 UTC

Aristotle: the First Nerd
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/599

2025-04-19 18:56:31 UTC

I got laid off last week and I have to say, the best part about being unemployed is not having to work. That part is great. The worst part? I would to go with not receiving a paycheck. Not a fan of that part at all.

2025-04-14 21:56:19 UTC

The Civil War is nuts man. People were actually volunteering to join the South. Imagine signing up to be shot at just so some rich white people can keep their slaves. Imagine dying for that shit.
Like bro what are you doing. Do something else with your life. Get a hobby.

2025-04-13 02:29:14 UTC

Fun fact, the Fellowship of the Ring is now as old the first Star Wars was when it came out, and also this just in: we all basically have one foot in the grave.

2025-04-09 02:13:07 UTC

Yes, in the perfect society there will be no cringe.
But Marxism is not a utopian vision, but a process for abolishing the current state of affairs. No existing revolution can achieve perfection, therefore there can be no revolution without at least some cringe, and we must accept this.

2025-04-08 22:09:45 UTC

"Brunch" – bougie sounding, fancy french food, evokes images of annoying people complaining about their dating life.
"Second breakfast" – hobbitcore, hearty simple food, evokes images of small courageous acts in the face of mounting doom.

2025-04-04 23:09:24 UTC

Conservatives are like "this isn't fair, we didn't think he'd really do tariffs, we weren't voting for him because we wanted tariffs, we were voting for him because we wanted racism!"

2025-04-04 17:28:52 UTC

Video games have been largely immune to inflation because Gamers are whiny babies who throw a fit if their Mario costs $4 more than it did in 1996.
And I hate to say it, but the lesson is that we all need to be huge babies all the time. Eggs go up 12 cents?
Threaten the family of the CEO of Egg.

2025-03-27 22:24:13 UTC

- reply

To explain it clearly, if you tax food at 20%, and a poor person spends 10% of their income on food, that is a 2% tax on their income.
Very rich people might spend only 0.1% of their income on food though, so that is only a 0.02% tax on their income.

2025-03-27 22:24:10 UTC

Yes, tariffs are a tax, but people don't mention often enough that they are a regressive tax. Taxes on consumer goods tax the poor at a higher rate, as basic necessities are a much larger part of their spending.
If food goes up by 20%, it is a tax on the poor. Rich people won't even notice.

2025-03-16 17:26:28 UTC

The Bible mentions helping the poor thousands of times, and yet not once does it mention Jira Sprint Planning, so think carefully on that before you schedule all these mandatory meetings.

2025-03-15 22:42:47 UTC

After spending a lot of time thinking about what exactly is wrong with the world, I've finally come to a conclusion: it's the people.

2025-03-14 18:05:55 UTC

What Hegel failed to grasp is that the world ideological spirit of the age would eventually be controlled by a YouTube algorithm designed to sell ads.

2025-03-09 18:13:27 UTC

Not sure I've ever seen a more obvious picture to remind us that police exist to protect the property of the ruling class, not the rights of the people.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/133/826/679/894/791/original/485af09f13795a1e.jpg

2025-03-03 17:29:54 UTC

The Communist Who Found God -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/592
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/099/681/784/231/913/original/80068e3400c41c88.png

2025-02-26 19:23:30 UTC

"Efficiency" for billionaires always just means "less money for the poor".
They making their businesses more "efficient" by cutting salaries. They are going to make social security more "efficient" by paying out less. They are going to make medicare more "efficient" by covering less. It never ends.

2025-02-24 17:51:03 UTC

Sartre and the Meaning of Life:
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/591
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/060/129/626/245/351/original/d087befbd5f7e9e0.png

2025-02-20 17:59:49 UTC

Nihilism: nothing matters
Absurdism: nothing matters, but in a cool way.
Existentialism: freely choose among all the various things that don't matter!

2025-02-06 19:26:21 UTC

I believe now is the right moment politically to attack and dethrone God.

2025-02-03 18:08:01 UTC

Resident Philosopher for AI Ethics
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/588
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/941/285/506/157/817/original/fa0ec54809feb5b0.png

2025-02-01 18:32:22 UTC

I can't imagine anyone in China right now is looking at the United States and being like "man, we really we need democracy like they have."

2025-01-30 19:36:56 UTC

Economists have to go to school for so long because it is a very difficult field.
It takes a lot of time and energy to figure out a reason why paying poor people more money is bad for them.

2025-01-27 00:29:29 UTC

Starting to actually think that the United States might be cursed.
Is there any chance whatsoever that we accidentally built it on top of an Indian burial ground??

2025-01-24 21:42:00 UTC

The bad taste of alcohol is there to clue in your body that it is a poison and you shouldn't drink it.
Lucky for me though I don't so easily fall for "appeal to nature" fallacies.

2025-01-22 18:52:34 UTC

A lot of people are confused by how someone so seemingly stupid as Elon Musk could become the richest person in the world, so they come up with all sorts of theories about how he must be secretly smart.
Allow me to explain: the world is stupid too.

2025-01-20 17:35:35 UTC

The History of What is the Good Life -
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/586
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/861/887/742/514/717/original/389fde09db07e4b4.png

2025-01-16 22:27:15 UTC

Dilbert guy, 2003: "ha ha doesn't it suck how your boss doesn't understand technology?"
Dilbert guy, 2025: "I have taught my computer to mind control me and it has instructed me to be more racist."
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/840/382/580/775/660/original/2922a7ebca2f27b1.jpg

2025-01-12 18:14:18 UTC

Why major in philosophy?
- can be smug after only 2-3 classes
- only major where you finish knowing less than when you started
- generally better beards than psychology
- can't find a job, but then again what even is a job?