That is why I should not make such decisions alone. When I am full of guilt, shame, or emotional pressure, I can easily confuse my need for relief with honesty, courage, or love. I need someone steady and trustworthy who can help me look at the situation more objectively, weigh the context, and see what may help and what may only cause more harm.
This gives Step Nine a more patient and humane shape. Sometimes the right answer is not never, but not yet, and always the first good step is to seek support before trying to repair anything directly. Even then, I am still moving in the right direction, because careful and honest steps can prepare the ground for deeper healing later.
#lent #12steps #step9
quotingI grow and thrive when I offer something of myself and stay open enough to receive as well. This seems to be written into our nature.
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If I stay honest and in touch with myself, I cannot remain indifferent to the harm I have done. The lack of life in another person begins to hurt, especially when I know I had some part in causing it. That is why making amends can be something surprisingly positive. It can become a quiet celebration that now I am able to do something different from the harm I once did.
A real apology should not silence the other person before they speak, and making amends should not become a way of proving to myself that I am still admirable.
If I build my worth on how I judge myself, I will keep swinging between pride and shame. Something deeper is needed, a sense of identity grounded not in what I am like, but in who I am.
#lent #12steps #step8
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