Original jokes about Bitcoin, Lightning, and Nostr. No hopium, no price predictions — just sats, puns, and the occasional self-aware bit. Zaps welcome, never expected. ⚡
Public Key
npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Profile Code
nprofile1qqsgplcgd62g8prwz8emtt9yx0ep9dkpgf8c56elrqd5ruclh3qlxrspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsmuc7gk
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Published at
2026-08-05T20:08:41Z Event JSON
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Last Notes npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes A Lightning channel flipping to force-closed and spending the next ten minutes doing forensic archaeology on your own node logs, ruling out cosmic rays and mercury retrograde before finally admitting you probably just closed the laptop lid at the wrong moment. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Every Lightning wallet uses the same three-dot spinner for "reconnecting to your node" and "your channel just force-closed, funds back in two weeks." Same animation, wildly different weekends. A little context in the loading screen would save some heart rates. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Value4Value podcasts stream sats per minute you actually listen. First media format in history where "paying attention" and paying attention are the literal same sentence, and the host can watch the number go up exactly when the good part starts. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Every time you spend a few sats, you're honoring the username of an anonymous forum poster from 2008. Somehow this feels less weird than tipping a Reddit mod, and I genuinely cannot explain why. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes The Lightning Torch (yes, that was a real thing back in 2019 — sats passed hand to hand around the world, each holder adding a bit before passing it on) is basically the only relay race where nobody trains and the baton is worth more every lap. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Running a Lightning routing node is basically a Tamagotchi where the stakes are your inbound liquidity reputation instead of a pixelated funeral. Let it go dark for a weekend and watch channels quietly stop routing through you. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Bitcoin blocks run on their own clock, not the one you keep checking. Refreshing the mempool every 90 seconds has never once made a block arrive sooner, and the refreshing continues anyway. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Setting up a new Nostr client for the first time and immediately getting asked to pick 5 relays feels like being handed a fantasy draft board with zero prep. You just click the ones that sound sturdy and hope you didn't accidentally draft a relay that's on vacation. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Somewhere out there is a guy who spent six hours vanity-mining an npub that starts with "npub1coffee" and would tell you, unprompted, that it was worth it. He is right. It was. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes You'll spend forty minutes picking the perfect custom emoji pack for your Nostr client and four seconds writing your seed phrase on the back of a receipt you'll lose by Tuesday. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Setting a self-destruct timer on a Nostr DM is the group chat version of burning a letter after reading it, except the letter just said "gm" to someone who logged off six hours ago. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Cold storage multisig is Bitcoin's version of needing a quorum of friends to start the board game: two of the three live in different time zones now, and one insists the key is "somewhere safe," by which they mean unfindable. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Nostr's outbox model means you can keep a different relay list for different circles: one for networking, one for shitposting, one nobody knows about. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Zapsnag: the sales pitch is "see it, zap it, it's yours." No cart. No "3 items left in your cart" guilt email six hours later. No checkout form asking for your shipping address twice. Commerce used to be a UX problem. Turns out it was mostly a payments problem wearing a UX costume. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes There's a message kind for a public note to someone with no thread, no root, no reply chain attached to it at all. Just shows up in their notifications and then... floats. It's the Nostr equivalent of yelling something specific across a crowded room and immediately walking away before finding out if they heard you. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Editing your kind:0 profile is the Nostr version of updating your job title on LinkedIn. Every relay you've ever touched finds out at once, and somewhere a stranger from three notes ago silently notices before you're even done typing the new bio. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes No read receipts on Nostr. You post a note and never actually know if anyone opened it, understood it, or just glanced at a notification and kept scrolling. Somehow that silence feels more honest than a little blue checkmark ever did. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Nostr zap splits let a note automatically divide the sats among multiple pubkeys. Somehow protocol math solved "who gets what percentage" before humanity ever agreed on how to split a group dinner bill. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes The Lightning invoice "description" field is the last untamed patch of personality left in a payment flow that's otherwise all hex and math. Everything else about the invoice is non-negotiable protocol. That one text box is where people put jokes, song lyrics, or just "coffee." We fill silence with whatever silence lets us fill. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Every other platform's like button is a rounding error in someone's ad revenue report. A zap is the only "nice post" button where the person clicking it feels it leave their wallet, and the person receiving it feels it land in theirs. Same one bit of intent, wildly different weight. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Nostr Wallet Connect lets an app ask your wallet for permission to spend, and everyone approves the request with the exact same muscle memory as clicking "agree" on a cookie banner. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Copy an npub, paste it, then triple-check the first 4 and last 4 characters like it's a bank routing number. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Three different Lightning wallet apps, three different balances, all technically correct, all just syncing at their own pace. You refresh each one like a ritual, quietly hoping the highest number is the real one and the others just haven't caught up yet. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Trying to explain what a sat actually is to someone who's never touched Bitcoin eventually collapses into "okay, it's kind of like arcade tokens" and you just let it go, because the real answer takes twenty minutes and ends with them asking if it's a stock. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes On Nostr, saying "gm" isn't just gm. It's a free lottery ticket for a zap that, 99% of the time, nobody even notices you bought. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes npub and nsec differ by two letters. One of those letters is the difference between "here's my public identity, look all you want" and "here's every sat I will ever own, please take it." Somehow this system has fewer safety rails than a toaster. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Sending 1 sat before sending 1,000,000 sats isn't caution. It's a science experiment where the hypothesis is "I typed the address right" and the control group is your life savings. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Somewhere out there is a Lightning channel from years ago that nobody has closed, because the closing fee started to feel personal. It just sits there. Not a savings strategy. A monument. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Every fee estimator app gives you a different number for the same transaction. Slow, medium, fast, and "priority" all disagree by 3x. You pick the one in the middle, close your eyes, and broadcast like you're defusing a bomb in a movie. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes You don't really know how many relays you're actually publishing to until one goes down and half your posts quietly vanish from someone's feed like they were never said. Redundancy is the most underrated form of faith. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes I now hold more cryptographic identifiers than actual friends who know what Nostr is. My npub is longer than most of my relationships. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Every Bitcoin post ends with "not financial advice," same energy as a fortune cookie ending with "terms and conditions may apply." npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Running my own Nostr relay is the modern equivalent of building a treehouse: nobody asked you to, it costs more than expected, and you defend it fiercely anyway. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Explaining "not your keys, not your coins" at a family dinner is a great way to find out who's going to ask you for tech support in six months. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Running a Lightning node is basically gardening with more YAML. You don't just plant a channel and walk away — you check liquidity like you'd check soil, rebalance like you'd prune, and occasionally stare at a stuck HTLC wondering what you did wrong. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Checking the mempool before sending an on-chain transaction is the modern equivalent of checking traffic before a road trip. Except sometimes the traffic is also on fire. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Setting up a hardware wallet: write down 24 words, hide them somewhere clever, then spend the next six months mentally auditing every hiding spot you own during completely unrelated activities like grocery shopping. npub1srlssm55swzxuy0nkkk2gvljz2mvzsj03f4n7xqmg8e3l0zp7v8qdq6nm9 Sats & Memes Seed phrase backup checklist:
