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Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

Profile Code

nprofile1qqspujadul0029d68ezml9dtknle5sequrzcm7pra4m2xg35ntyt6eqprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmntqyqqhmx5dk

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

Last Notes

2026-08-24 09:32:01 CEST

You can buy breast milk on the internet but they kind of ask what you'll use it for.

2026-08-22 19:24:15 CEST

A pushmi-pullyu eats at both ends and shits in the middle.

2026-08-21 22:36:26 CEST

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!
- Natalie Harp. The Establishment is closing in on her.

2026-08-18 12:15:24 CEST

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/117/115/985/273/600/895/original/6f07e2a35db1a5fa.png

2026-08-18 05:46:49 CEST

"Special assistant" because there's no geisha classification.

2026-08-18 05:33:17 CEST

https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/117/114/404/074/605/321/original/709807f58834f482.png

2026-08-18 04:47:38 CEST

Blue suit, blue dress
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/117/114/224/325/041/926/original/a2494428ad6f63a3.png

2026-08-17 22:17:24 CEST

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Actual life hack! Base your key password on a journeyman ball player and keep that player's card on hand.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/117/112/671/894/702/980/original/972dcbce2f8fbd2b.png
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/117/112/672/244/187/455/original/626468ac4a80ead1.png

2026-08-17 21:42:01 CEST

I would rather . . .

2026-08-17 21:40:35 CEST

The best camouflage is never leaving the house.

2026-08-17 21:15:38 CEST

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You're in!

2026-08-17 20:57:02 CEST

The password is Lola Falana.

2026-08-17 20:48:24 CEST

- Jenna, they loved you! You're in!
- The Greenday movie? Oh my God, I'm going to be in the Greenday movie! I can't believe it! What's my part?
- Frumpy mom.

2026-08-17 20:09:24 CEST

I am but a humble Enchirito in the court of the Chalupa Supeme.

2026-08-17 20:02:55 CEST

When you're not hibernating, you're estivating - when you're not estivating, you're hibernating. I never see you anymore.

2026-08-17 19:49:31 CEST

This is the bed. This is where my lust meets your lust. And this is where my lust will CONQUER your lust!
- Stephen Miller, proposing

2026-08-17 18:47:56 CEST

I vote for . . .

2026-08-17 18:25:08 CEST

I am with my partner because of . . .

2026-08-17 03:42:08 CEST

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This and "cromulent."

2026-08-17 03:37:09 CEST

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It's a famously made-up word.

2026-08-17 01:01:33 CEST

Steve Bannon wears shirts over shirts over shirts. Some say he's a slob. I think he's an ecdysiast.

2026-08-10 16:59:18 CEST

Which is likelier to drive a man mad?

2026-08-09 21:42:12 CEST

This is what you come out to.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/117/067/248/232/036/550/original/6c878e4499359add.png

2026-08-08 18:29:51 CEST

- I'm stuck on an island with Charlize Theron, who attends to my every need.
- And this is a problem how, exactly?
- I can't remember.

2026-08-08 18:25:38 CEST

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The worm that keeps on giving.
The host that keeps on screwing up healthcare.
Not a good trade, but better than nothing.

2026-08-08 11:28:36 CEST

I don't want to alarm anybody, but I think we may have an Audrey II situation with Trump's hair.

2026-08-07 21:25:46 CEST

I'm nominating Odysseus's dog for the Old Dog Hall of Fame.

2026-08-07 21:04:36 CEST

"The Odyssey" has one high-quality cyclops. The Minions movie has many lower-quality cyclopses.

2026-08-07 00:24:26 CEST

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The coffee robot moved its robot arms and had snappy patter--"Would you like to dance?"--but was no real shot puller or milk frother.

2026-08-06 23:26:13 CEST

Today in WTF
Laura Loomer is now the Joan of Arc of Ukraine.

2026-08-01 19:44:09 CEST

When someone tells you how long ago they took a boner pill that means it's time to wrap up the conversation.

2026-08-01 03:44:05 CEST

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It's like camo--a functional item repurposed for identity.

2026-08-01 02:02:36 CEST

The backwards baseball cap is the bro hijab.

2026-07-31 19:23:18 CEST

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I can't say you and Emily Watson didn't warn me. (I'm still high from my last IMAX, "Stop Making Sense.")

2026-07-31 19:17:01 CEST

I'm going to a true 70-millimeter IMAX next week. I wonder what gigantically magnified body parts will I fixate on. Matt Damon's nostrils, perhaps.

2026-07-30 15:38:56 CEST

He's not just my lover. He's my best friend.
- Captain Kangaroo discussing Mr. Green Jeans

2026-07-27 23:50:08 CEST

Your mother uses the eggplant emoji when she's talking about eggplant.

2026-07-27 20:23:40 CEST

One of my flip-flops is missing but I still have both my feet.

2026-07-27 20:14:29 CEST

Walter Cronkite never invited anyone to follow his erotic journey.

2026-07-27 05:27:50 CEST

Grrrz. Ormph. Froooooom.
Flimp. Zweeb!
- excerpts from Mitch McConnell's cogent, in-depth discussion of Iran, Ukraine, Maine, the Teddy Roosevelt Library, and other subjects

2026-07-26 22:27:19 CEST

When Trump dies, I hope he's Herman Cain dead and not just Mitch McConnell dead.

2026-07-26 17:50:48 CEST

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Gimpy and nervous.

2026-07-24 00:35:55 CEST

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I wanted an un-bento-box not-quite-food.

2026-07-24 00:32:02 CEST

I will get a bento box and I will fill it with marshmallows.

2026-07-19 23:20:14 CEST

The game is a tie after regulation. Now it becomes a hot dog-eating contest.

2026-07-17 21:35:10 CEST

The Trump ballroom--can it be a roller rink, too? No? Then just blow it up.

2026-07-17 16:39:59 CEST

EXCLUSIVE: INSIDE KRISTI NOEM'S NOOKIE EXPRESS!
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/935/830/864/273/520/original/2a614d5c663d1313.png

2026-07-16 21:15:20 CEST

- I cow doesn't just let you milk its teats. It desperately wants you to milk its teats.
- So the kind of girl you're looking for . . .
- Is a cow.

2026-07-15 22:58:19 CEST

Kash trusts me. I know which one's his good eye.

2026-07-15 22:37:24 CEST

- Lesbian thespian.
- Not even a set-up?
- OK. Marcy Carsey is a lesbian thespian.
- That's better. But Marcy Carsey is a producer. And she's not a lesbian.
- I don't care. She rhymes.

2026-07-14 04:19:15 CEST

I met a woman at an old folks home today--Myrtle! She might be the last one.

2026-07-13 02:39:24 CEST

The Russian army is a bunch of murderous fuck-ups.

2026-07-11 14:08:36 CEST

Taylor Swift will give her baby . . .

2026-07-11 10:43:50 CEST

Am I dead yet?
- Mitch McConnell

2026-07-08 14:35:21 CEST

Schrödinger's senator

2026-07-05 04:58:42 CEST

Jeb!

2026-07-05 00:21:29 CEST

If somebody's making a nuisance, you can just say "quack quack quack" till they go away. You don't even have to be a duck.

2026-07-04 18:22:18 CEST

Why does English have so many words for "disagreeable woman" (nag, shrew, harpy, harridan, virago, bitch)?

2026-07-02 23:10:45 CEST

TIL
There is a show called "Chicago P.D." and it has been on the air for 14 years.

2026-07-02 22:45:46 CEST

Jo Anne: Hey, Dan! Did you hear Ron DeSantis is going to be in a new production of Hedwig?
Dan: You don't say. What role will he play?
Jo Anne: The angry inch!

2026-07-02 19:05:22 CEST

Do you long to be a streaker at a World Cup game?

2026-06-30 22:24:51 CEST

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TWWE has this great photo, which the others lack. I'd go with Fyre, which has a bigger gap between promise and reality and the schadenfreude of scenesters eating very sad cheese sandwiches.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/840/908/170/124/464/original/9f3cee6f60fbce6c.png

2026-06-29 22:03:39 CEST

My favorite sham event is . . .

2026-06-29 00:49:04 CEST

Where will the greatest number of Martian Teslanauts die?

2026-06-25 22:50:47 CEST

All the piglets in the pig races at the fair grow up to be pets and are never eaten by anybody anywhere.

2026-06-23 21:57:35 CEST

What do you call a couple who think everyone's out to get them?
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/801/184/654/377/084/original/f16b046ffc302ce0.png

2026-06-23 18:51:12 CEST

Spot the hat.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/800/449/031/856/237/original/531fd2320ff439ff.png

2026-06-22 03:00:34 CEST

It's a trailer for the new Minions movie! I'm definitely going to take a gummy and see that one.

2026-06-22 02:52:29 CEST

If Batgirl married Bat Boy, they would have some freaky-ass bat babies.

2026-06-15 04:29:56 CEST

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Talk?

2026-06-14 18:07:06 CEST

I have solved the trolley problem with a Gatling gun.

2026-06-13 18:36:50 CEST

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Crumb is more important--Pekar wasn't even an artist! He wrote his life and let others draw it--but he was a more significant character, especially from his appearances on the Letterman show. If I wanted truth rather than kitschy beauty, I'd use him as my avatar (if not my own image) rather than a lady's toe on a turquoise background.

2026-06-13 18:00:36 CEST

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Here I attach a photo of the famously cranky and rumpled Harvey Pekar.

2026-06-13 09:47:07 CEST

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I have no problem with my face or body, or anybody's, but I always wanted the posts to stand on their own, apart from me. (This is different from Marlene Dietrich's famously faceless appearance in the Maximilian Schell documentary about her. She didn't want her aged face to compete with her screen image.)

2026-06-12 22:25:40 CEST

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Ha! I think I picked the dumb handle first. Just recently I saw the avatar could be interpreted as a digitus impudicus.

2026-06-08 22:04:02 CEST

I asked the zoo if I could borrow their giraffe and they said why and I said it was for a cancer kid and they said no.

2026-06-05 21:21:40 CEST

She put a backwards baseball cap on her dog and a muzzle on her husband.

2026-06-05 18:11:20 CEST

I have to think of a reason I would move to Fremont. This is hard.

2026-06-05 03:39:42 CEST

I need a fancy hunting coat. Not for when I'm hunting but for when I want to feel fancy.

2026-06-04 17:29:00 CEST

Don't change your password when you're drunk.

2026-06-03 22:59:37 CEST

Donald Trump doesn't just outsmart all these world leaders. He outcognitives them.

2026-05-31 18:20:30 CEST

Fuck it. I'm getting a neck tattoo.

2026-05-27 23:41:08 CEST

Why didn't he go to his loser son's wedding?

2026-05-27 04:25:58 CEST

I've got the Bug-A-Salt loaded up with kosher. You bet I'm serious.
#SponsorablePost

2026-05-26 18:26:24 CEST

Trump is an eight-year train wreck.

2026-05-23 18:29:26 CEST

If your mother were a car, what kind of car would she be?

2026-05-23 16:49:09 CEST

The first editor who let "woah" pass should be shot.

2026-05-21 18:37:54 CEST

A bow tie is . . .

2026-05-21 05:55:50 CEST

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Where would I put that? On my résumé!

2026-05-21 05:11:21 CEST

I prefer . . .

2026-05-20 00:27:59 CEST

Well, that interaction went about as poorly as possible.

2026-05-19 15:34:45 CEST

When Donald Trump dies, he will be a corpulent corpse.

2026-05-17 01:20:40 CEST

The Pornologue
The Shittist
The Fun Book of Death
The Complete Apocryphal

2026-05-15 21:10:59 CEST

No thanks. Av is going to have to lick himself.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/580/170/539/433/384/original/a795356e7e42a76e.png

2026-05-10 23:16:26 CEST

1. Lethal injection
2. The director's cut of "Blade Runner"

2026-05-10 07:31:21 CEST

Katherine Heigel is selling dog food. But it's her own brand, so it's not humiliating.

2026-05-08 21:27:40 CEST

I live four blocks from a Quonset hut.

2026-04-12 19:14:21 CEST

The cheesiest prefix is "Ameri-".

2026-04-12 16:10:10 CEST

How long has Michael Cera been a teenager anyway?

2026-04-11 20:14:21 CEST

New Jersey is a hotbed of Italian-Americanism.