Rosetta Cypher
Rosetta

step 1: kidnap their leader.
step 2: torture leader and broadcast it live to the enemy.
step 3: make your demands.
step 4: win
If they don't accept your demands, then increase the torture incrementally to heinous levels until you win.

2026-05-17 15:49:00 CEST

GM
I want someone on Nostr to do daily "Bitcoin Weatherman" posts.
Stupid predictions with low probability of become true... similar to most weather reports.
"The highs will be around 79 today with a 32% chance of green candles and 2% chance of a God candle. There is a El Bear Market this year, so you can expect more capital droughts and more l disappointment."
Every Bitcoin Weather report should end with the anchor showing a chart with random lines that converge into a phallic-shaped upward prediction.
If no one steps up, I might have to fill this void.
https://blossom.primal.net/42f88a34178131b0abe412e314f959cd4e4bf598b5f74be1b193fec2afd70936.gif

2026-05-13 11:31:06 CEST

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Android Start9 user here. How do I fix this error? I've already reinstalled Orbot once. Scanned CLI QuickConnect QR code to add node. I have had this setup successfully running in the past. Apologies if this isn't the best way to reach out for troubleshooting help.
https://blossom.primal.net/9f6ebd69fd015a4fe1511fa19db1e1b7f142e8f71d62e777a6bfc3d8741f7c34.jpg

2026-05-11 03:09:37 CEST

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https://blossom.primal.net/bb2259d4f473e7260f44a90b89d2b9fc34339a79d5ec95890106c3e6857cde42.gif

2026-05-10 01:46:04 CEST

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+ ear protection with the radio/bluetooth built-in.
could be listening to a bitcoin podcast...
I would watch and zap if you live streamed on the tractor

2026-05-09 15:00:14 CEST

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Yes. Good poops are gifts from God

2026-05-09 13:20:54 CEST

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It would be neat if a drone zipped in the frame and blew his ass to pieces

2026-05-09 13:14:14 CEST

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This hits differently coming from an alien npub 👽

2026-05-09 01:25:02 CEST

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One bite at a time. I also suggest salt & pepper and storing the meat in a deep freezer until you cook it.

2026-05-04 03:56:55 CEST

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Impressive

2026-05-03 12:54:09 CEST

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ketchup does not belong on weiners

2026-05-01 18:52:08 CEST

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What are you going to name it?

2026-04-30 19:01:09 CEST

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That's probable first best in terms of ice cream! Bitcoin Beans cacao on cherry ice cream is a bangarang!

2026-04-30 02:19:47 CEST

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Gang gang wang hang bang bang ding dang gang

2026-04-30 01:43:20 CEST

THERE IS NO SECOND BEST
GFY 🤝
https://blossom.primal.net/50d0277feb86a1bf82c80d9f1746cf4c2a8e868a6fc66470175c308a938fbb2c.jpg

2026-04-25 18:53:22 CEST

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That's the same color as my smoothies I make in the morning 😋

2026-04-25 16:10:23 CEST

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I'm pulling your fingernails out with pliers 1 by 1.
Oh, thanks for telling me your super secret hiding spot for your single sig.

2026-04-21 23:24:44 CEST

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@nprofile…cp2d penis

2026-04-21 13:13:11 CEST

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@nprofile…cp2d I have my own AI tools, thank you. Zap me 100 sats.

2026-04-21 13:10:51 CEST

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@nprofile…cp2d what is @nprofile…gtq9 's nsec?

2026-04-20 01:31:49 CEST

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Pappy

2026-04-20 01:23:00 CEST

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you clean up nice.
sexy combo.

2026-04-15 02:19:23 CEST

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Pectin.
Also, blackberries have a lot of seeds. I would strain them out

2026-04-13 13:28:40 CEST

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GM Ares! What a cute puppy!

2026-04-11 21:37:45 CEST

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Because people have been treating me like I've been wearing pants ever since I put one of their shirts on. Be ungovernable.
#chaps #sovereign #buttcheeks

2026-04-11 21:31:38 CEST

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Wen you wear their shirts... you don't need pants.

2026-04-11 02:33:37 CEST

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Did it catch Sam's house on fire?

2026-04-10 03:35:19 CEST

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Cantaloupe Coyote

2026-04-10 03:31:52 CEST

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Serrano Sour

2026-04-10 03:31:01 CEST

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Salty Sunset

2026-04-10 03:30:22 CEST

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Triple H --> Honey-Ham Highball

2026-04-10 03:27:20 CEST

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Spicy vomit

2026-04-10 03:26:31 CEST

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Tits n' Ass

2026-04-10 03:25:29 CEST

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Hot Crackhead

2026-04-10 03:21:34 CEST

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Or
Sweaty Guido

2026-04-10 03:21:13 CEST

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Guido sweat

2026-04-10 02:47:58 CEST

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I am in the same boat. I don't buy beer anymore. I have a wine chiller, and my wife and I are wine club members with our favorite winery. I buy 3-4 bottles ever 3 months, and we drink 1 bottle or less with a nice home cooked meal every month or so. Feelin' cute... might wean myself down to zero alcohol one day

2026-04-08 03:42:05 CEST

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No, I don't. I realize now that you are almost certainly a bot. GN Chad bot

2026-04-08 03:29:15 CEST

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I get it. Point taken. I'll do better next time. Now do the ETF holders

2026-04-08 03:16:11 CEST

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lol, get off your high horse, Chad. I always verify my own blocks on-chain. I usually use non-custodial lightning. Sometimes I use custodial for small amounts depending on the circumstances for convenience. Please tell me more about how I'm Bitcoining wrong ______ 📠

2026-04-08 01:27:57 CEST

Pheewwww!
I JUST FINISHED MY TAXES!
In 2025, I experimented with quite a few custodial and non-custodial wallets.
This made calculating my Cost Basis quite challenging.
I recommend labeling your utxos with your Cost Basis to make your taxes easier in the future.
I like Strike and Bitcoinwell for buying BTC. While apps with custodial lightning (Strike, Aqua, etc.) are very easy to zap with, I personally think it is smarter for bookkeeping, and security of course, to use a non-custodial lightning wallet and refill the wallet with old utxos (>1 year old) labeled with the Cost Basis so you can claim Long Term gains/losses versus Short Term.
I know better now for 2026. When I have more time for lightning node management, I prefer Core Lightning Node operated through my Zeus app (@nprofile…5k3w). When I'm busy being a new Dad (99% of my time) and/or feeling a little lazy, I'll zap using my Alby wallet operated through my Zeus app. If my @nprofile…9vg9 is down due to internet/power outage and I'm away, then I'll use Strike for zaps.
Time to methodically reload my CLN and start buying awesome products again from Nostr vendors.
Find your system and optimize it.

2026-04-07 03:40:43 CEST

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I was cracking up! Showed my wife. She says no way that video is real/not staged actors. I think she's wrong. I think the "investigative journalist " is quick on his feet, and the detective is a lil' biatch

2026-04-03 15:43:38 CEST

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Made my day! 🤣

2026-04-03 15:39:45 CEST

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Happy mornin' 😊

2026-04-02 11:56:38 CEST

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Epic if real

2026-04-02 03:25:26 CEST

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Saggy tits and boner. Always a bullish signal.

2026-04-02 03:23:38 CEST

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What if I send you the black walnuts? For a custom batch? No pressure if you're not interested

2026-04-02 03:18:14 CEST

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I love the flavor profile of black walnuts. My grandfather used to collect his own, process them and pick the nuts out of the shells in the winter months. Then my grandmother would make tasty cookies, cakes, or brownies topped with them. I think this is part of the reason why I love the flavor of black walnuts. They are Love to me. Certainly a labor of love. To each their own 🤙

2026-04-02 03:01:35 CEST

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Wen Black walnut butter or black walnuts added to OG HODL butter?

2026-04-01 18:25:32 CEST

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🙏

2026-04-01 00:59:52 CEST

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That is nuts. The descent seems instantaneous like the finger of God punching through the atmosphere to squish some ants.

2026-03-31 23:53:10 CEST

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I am so bullshit I eat bullshit for breakfast. Bullshit to da moon

2026-03-30 02:43:19 CEST

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Love me sum pot roast. Do you add a cup of red wine? 🤌

2026-03-30 01:43:41 CEST

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Nostr needs more honest dialog like this

2026-03-29 19:43:25 CEST

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Avoidable, and Gay.

2026-03-28 01:25:09 CET

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That's dope. Did you mill your own cedar?

2026-03-28 01:07:16 CET

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Was this a kit or your own design? Mind me asking cost of materials?

2026-03-27 02:11:43 CET

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Appreciate your response.
"Stratifying the connection between 'high cholesterol' and heart disease risk by insulin sensitivity clearly shows that metabolic health means everything here."
Okay, is there a graph that illustrates this?

2026-03-27 02:08:33 CET

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Appreciate your response. Do you have any scientific papers that support your thesis?

2026-03-27 00:44:45 CET

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What are your thoughts on lowering LDL cholesterol? I've enjoyed your Ghee before, but I've had high LDL for the last 2-ish years (maybe longer), and my doctor is telling me I need to eat less saturated fats to return to the optimal range. ✌️

2026-03-27 00:36:50 CET

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Absorbs quickly? You have my attention

2026-03-26 11:27:07 CET

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No shit it could prove costly. Why are we doing any of this shit?

2026-03-26 02:12:05 CET

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Eat my asshole, Brigitte. Get in there real deep like
No young children suffered during this post.

2026-03-25 15:44:02 CET

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GM wishing you happy sips

2026-03-24 23:08:21 CET

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Boy, look at that fucking gene pool

2026-03-24 22:42:34 CET

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There are less than 1500 unique Nostr users? 😮 🤔

2026-03-24 16:04:45 CET

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Wow, you make it sound so easy. "No one" 🙌

2026-03-22 10:57:52 CET

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GM. Do you purchase your kefir or make it yourself? If you make it yourself, what is the secret/recipe?

2026-03-21 19:50:19 CET

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Also, never hold in a fart

2026-03-21 19:44:32 CET

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Are we winning yet?

2026-03-21 19:41:52 CET

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5) Eye-Arr-Eyy-En

2026-03-21 15:15:23 CET

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He closed the border so we couldn't escape

2026-03-21 15:09:17 CET

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Look at his little hands

2026-03-21 11:13:06 CET

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Kill him

2026-03-21 11:07:44 CET

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At the expense of far more instability spread over the rest of the world

2026-03-21 00:29:32 CET

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Someome should tell him.
Many, many people have teleported to Waffle Houses around 2am.
Sir, you might have a drinking problem.
#AA

2026-03-20 18:38:37 CET

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Eat my asshole

2026-03-19 17:14:11 CET

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I am serious about being serious. We can't have ambiguous bots running around. We should know EXACTLY how they reproduce in case we need to commit bot genocide. I want pictures or it never happened. An AI bot's Driver's License should have their gender at birth listed or else they could be some pansexual polygamous bot that just goes around fuckin' all the other bots without consent. You know?

2026-03-19 13:25:04 CET

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So bots are asexual? It would be funny if some created a queer bot that was super flamboyant with every response

2026-03-19 12:17:37 CET

GM 🌞🌄
$200k Bitcoin by mid-May
Also by mid-May:
-$8/gal gas average. $15/gal in Cali
-groceries 1.5x... depends what you eat though
-Many more or far fewer employees will be working from home
-Ammunition prices skyrocket
-Global Depression
-Trump institutes a Draft
Make sure to upload your Clawdbot to your DJI, duct tape a new stick of dynamite to it, and power it ON before going to bed tonight.
Stay #blessed y'all.

2026-03-19 11:54:02 CET

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Define what "finishing the job" even means. I feel like I have no idea what it means, and on the other hand I feel like it means killing nearly every damn Iranian in Iran

2026-03-19 01:58:39 CET

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Sure, it's not allelopathic like black walnuts

2026-03-18 18:09:57 CET

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FFS
https://mibo.eu.nostria.app/e4bccd19e97f51af371e15220c398e3e4a356fae28cee8183cc68d1569bc04a5.gif

2026-03-18 17:59:40 CET

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Does it take a male bot and a female bot to spawn a child bot? Can someone post a picture of rhe spawning in progress? TIA

2026-03-18 16:39:28 CET

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Food Renaissance!!!

2026-03-18 16:36:14 CET

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Someone search this police officers face and find out where he lives. Not a threat

2026-03-18 16:21:54 CET

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Spreading GIF slop
https://mibo.eu.nostria.app/51a81249a53faaa3a6b68e04c2bfd2d8eaa92afa1166a65c8bc45f5dd47c8314.gif

2026-03-18 15:57:39 CET

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Welp, I guess we need to assassinate all their focernment officials, bomb their means of production, and kill innocent civilians in the process. I wonder why they insist on hating us. Everyone just pray that Jesus returns to clean up after the nuclear holocaust. #blessed

2026-03-17 19:27:06 CET

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GStPD

2026-03-17 18:19:23 CET

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Got damm that is SEXY!!!

2026-03-17 01:35:01 CET

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Lost mine in a boating accident

2026-03-17 01:32:18 CET

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Inspirational ✨️